SMOD 2016 Re-Launches Campaign With Near-Miss On Earth

SMOD refused to answer reporters questions, saying they'll be time for questions later, After the Worldfires Cleanse the Earth of Wicked Carbonoids.



SMOD, aka Asteroid Icarus, and its 20,000 children/ice-calves,
also called the Heralds of Armaggeddon

Asteroid Icarus, the kilometre-long spacerock named after the Greek mythological character that flew too close to the sun, will skim past the Earth on Tuesday night making a rare "distant pass" of five million miles.

According to Nasa, the asteroid 1566 Icarus will safely pass by the Earth at more than 21 lunar distances, which is 21 times the distance between form the Earth to the moon.

The next time the rock is set to approach the Earth at this kind of close distance will not be until 2090, when it will skim past marginally closer at 17 lunar distances.

Wait, this isn't the real SMOD. This is some flashy Johnny-Come-Lately hoping to get some Reality TV buzz.

Oh well.

Icarus says his impact in the race is going to be "uuuuge."

Posted by: Ace at 05:47 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 Hear our prayer.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at June 16, 2015 05:48 PM (AC0lD)

2
Hit me with your rhythm stick!

Posted by: naturalfake at June 16, 2015 05:49 PM (0cMkb)

3 Washington DC big boy. Need a map.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at June 16, 2015 05:49 PM (AC0lD)

4 I think SMOD can take its sweet ass time. We have enough organic disaster pending to make this a wasteland loooong before impact.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at June 16, 2015 05:51 PM (5buP8)

5 Imma livin' in a box
Imma livin in a cardboard box

Posted by: Dr. Who at June 16, 2015 05:51 PM (vgIRn)

6 Johnny Come Lately

The new SMOD in town

Everybody loves you

So, don't let us down.

Posted by: The Eagles....of Doom! at June 16, 2015 05:51 PM (0cMkb)

7 Hit the little island off the coast of America at 45 Degrees.

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 16, 2015 05:51 PM (NE6lA)

8 If SMOD did hit, the last sound would be feminists complaining about the violent penetration of SMOD on Mother Gaia....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at June 16, 2015 05:53 PM (AC0lD)

9 Don't count SMOD out yet. Every big candidate has an advance team.

Posted by: Daybrother at June 16, 2015 05:54 PM (Y8gN6)

10 Haven't we seen this thing before?

The name is familiar somehow.

(no not the greek base jumper)

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 05:54 PM (zRby/)

11
Shouldn't that be -

SMOD!

Posted by: naturalfake at June 16, 2015 05:54 PM (0cMkb)

12 And Smod's hair is perfect !

Posted by: Roman Maroni at June 16, 2015 05:55 PM (vCA4F)

13 >>Asteroid Icarus, the kilometre-long spacerock named after the Greek mythological character that flew too close to the sun,


and then crashed into the Earth.

Not sure I'm digging the name.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 16, 2015 05:55 PM (g1DWB)

14 The Four Horses of the Apocalypse are nigh! Four horses and a giant rock!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 16, 2015 05:55 PM (8ZskC)

15 At the beginning of the month Pixar released a mini trailer for The Good Dinosaur, featuring a near miss by an asteroid. It's a shame when a perfectly good candidate like SMOD goes all Hollywood like that! I can't look at him the same way anymore. *sniff*

Posted by: LizLem at June 16, 2015 05:55 PM (hvf9s)

16 Shouldn't that be -

SMOD!

Posted by: naturalfake at June 16, 2015 05:54 PM (0cMkb)


No way!

I'm the only one who deserves an exclamation point after my name

as America's Only Jazz-Hands Conservative.

Posted by: Jeb! at June 16, 2015 05:56 PM (0cMkb)

17 How many Marcoboats is in a "lunar distance"?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 16, 2015 05:56 PM (8ZskC)

18 The Four Horses of the Apocalypse are neigh!

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 16, 2015 05:56 PM (NE6lA)

19 My G-d, SMOD has a face. A smug, mocking face.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 05:56 PM (FsuaD)

20 SMOD is a friggin tease. If she ever get cornered in a dark nebula, she's got it coming.

Posted by: Rapey McPlanetoid at June 16, 2015 05:56 PM (yn6XZ)

21 Posted by: Stateless Infidel at June 16, 2015 05:53 PM (AC0lD)

They'd be running for some man to save them.

These gals talk a good game but when reality hits suddenly they'll be all sweetness and light.

Notice they don't spend a lot of time talking about Islam or ISIS or Boko Harma?

There's a reason for that.

And it's similar to the reason why the MSM won't show Mohammed cartoons or talk about that stuff.

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 05:56 PM (zRby/)

22 When the real SMOD comes, the Silver Surfer will arrive to announce his arrival and the end of all life on earth.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 16, 2015 05:56 PM (GsvmL)

23 I self-identify as a planet destroyer..., so get off my back.

Posted by: Icarus at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (F2IAQ)

24 Hey, I just got an fundraising email from SMOD !
Or maybe the other guy

Posted by: Roman Maroni at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (vCA4F)

25 Pfft. Piker

Posted by: Chicxulub at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (8ZskC)

26 Your puny supplications to a false savior are amusing to me.

Posted by: Gamma Ray Burst at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (tgnRB)

27 I am the SMOD of the interwebz!1!

Posted by: Icarus Jhonson at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (Dwehj)

28 Harma == Haram. What's the difference?

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (zRby/)

29 You want: SMOD

You'll settle for: Tunguska Event over the D.C. National Mall

You'll get: Perseid shower, obscured by clouds

Posted by: torquewrench at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (noWW6)

30 Cumbre Vieja

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 16, 2015 05:57 PM (NE6lA)

31 I don't feel like a meteor or an asteroid. I'm really a comet trapped in a meteor's body.

I feel pretty....
oh so pretty....

Posted by: SMOD at June 16, 2015 05:58 PM (LAe3v)

32 Not to be all nativist, but SMOD is an illegal alien, and totally disqualified from running.

Posted by: Yellowstone Supervolcano at June 16, 2015 05:58 PM (w/7Fi)

33 >>>17 How many Marcoboats is in a "lunar distance"?

Six.

Posted by: The New York Times Bureau of Weights and Measures at June 16, 2015 05:58 PM (PA7DS)

34 By 2090, this place will only speak Memes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 16, 2015 05:58 PM (F2IAQ)

35 My dream: SMOD and the Yellowstone caldera go "BOOM" just as we're hit by an EMP.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 05:58 PM (FsuaD)

36 Same day as the Donald launches his campaign . . . coincidence? I think not!

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 05:58 PM (EgOr3)

37 I'm considering shifting my vote to the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.

Shub-Niggurath 2016, for a world really gone mad.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 16, 2015 05:58 PM (GsvmL)

38 WHO ASTEROID THIS IS ?

Posted by: Roman Maroni at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (vCA4F)

39 If we all simultaneously will a slight deviation in its trajectory, maybe...

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (8ZskC)

40 So in something like 2550 it will finally hit? Sheesh.

Posted by: Weasel at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (e3bId)

41 According to Nasa, the asteroid 1566 Icarus will safely pass by the Earth at more than 21 lunar distances, which is 21 times the distance between form the Earth to the moon.

Or slightly closer to the Oval Office than Donald Trump will ever get.



Posted by: Hollowpoint at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (+H+VR)

42 Harma == Haram. What's the difference?
--------------

Inquiring minds want to know.

Posted by: Procol Harum at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (F2IAQ)

43 In the year 2525...

Posted by: Icarus Jhonson at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (Dwehj)

44 Is Ross Perot running.

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (NE6lA)

45 My God. It's full of Mooch's ass.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:00 PM (FsuaD)

46 40
So in something like 2550 it will finally hit? Sheesh.

Posted by: Weasel at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (e3bId)
So, slacker-SMOD . . . great.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:00 PM (EgOr3)

47 We are the Sweet Meteors of Death we've been waiting for.

Posted by: King and Queen of Uranus at June 16, 2015 06:00 PM (yn6XZ)

48 What if the world economy goes boom. Monty, the prophet, needs to read the tea leaves

Posted by: ThunderB at June 16, 2015 06:00 PM (wa1is)

49 I figure that once a genuine conservative President takes office and the goniffs and liars in Congress get booted out, THEN, THEN SMOD will show up.

My cup is ALWAYS half empty.

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 06:00 PM (zRby/)

50 My Gucci store is featuring a 20% Off Meteor Impact Sale now through Tuesday!

Posted by: Donald Trump at June 16, 2015 06:00 PM (8ZskC)

51 I think that I'll wait for the 2090 closer SMOD at 17 lunar distances before I get excited. Oh, wait...

Posted by: Cheri at June 16, 2015 06:01 PM (oiNtH)

52 If we all simultaneously will a slight deviation in its trajectory, maybe...
Posted by: Cicero
-----------------

How about farts, in it's general direction?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 16, 2015 06:01 PM (F2IAQ)

53 God is not merciful enough for SMOD to truly strike us before November 2016.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 16, 2015 06:01 PM (GsvmL)

54 Kid Icarus was a fun Nintendo game.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:01 PM (15/oZ)

55 Icarus was Greek.

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 16, 2015 06:01 PM (NE6lA)

56 Maybe if we land enough troops on it we can tip it in our direction.

Posted by: Hank Johnson at June 16, 2015 06:02 PM (w/7Fi)

57 So we are drining white wine tonight? right?

Posted by: Yo! at June 16, 2015 06:02 PM (q+zA9)

58 Icarus was Greek.
Posted by: Boss Moss

Nah, he was in Led Zeppelin.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at June 16, 2015 06:02 PM (tgnRB)

59 Considering 99% of the species that ever lived on this planet are now extinct, I like our odds of survival. In that 'sweet spot' between slim and none.

Posted by: se pa moron at June 16, 2015 06:03 PM (xQX/f)

60 Global Warmening is attracting space detritus. THE UNIVERSE HATES US!!!!!

Posted by: Pope Francis, Pontifex Minimus at June 16, 2015 06:03 PM (8ZskC)

61 Icarus was Greek.

He never left his ice-calves behind.

Posted by: Icarus Jhonson at June 16, 2015 06:03 PM (Dwehj)

62 So we are drining white wine tonight? right?

Posted by: Yo! at June 16, 2015 06:02 PM (q+zA9)
Beer. Some of us are not elitists, just sayin'

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:03 PM (EgOr3)

63 I'm personally Team Four Horsemen: Huey, Dewey, Louie and Crusade.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:03 PM (FsuaD)

64 Posted by: Icarus Jhonson at June 16, 2015 05:59 PM (Dwehj)

Lol, glad I'm not the only one to have watched that.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at June 16, 2015 06:03 PM (GDulk)

65 The last time this happened, we were watching in one direction and the real comet came from the opposite direction and nailed Russia.
These comets are clever.
We need to blow one up.
Just to let them know.

Posted by: rayj at June 16, 2015 06:03 PM (pI/IV)

66 Can a person be Trans SMOD?

Posted by: ThunderB at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (wa1is)

67 After the Worldfires Cleanse the Earth of Wicked Carbonoids.

All hat, no cattle.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (ZKzrr)

68 dry white wine?

Posted by: Yo! at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (q+zA9)

69 C'mon Icarus, hit off the Pacific coast and give us a wave to ride all the way to Sacramento.

Posted by: exdem13 at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (ry4ab)

70 Heh. I just read that article before coming here.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (sdi6R)

71 Heh. I just read that article before coming here.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (sdi6R)

72 This SMOD thing has not really impressed me so far.

Posted by: Soona at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (P25Hh)

73 What is his position on Gardisil?

Posted by: Dave S. at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (7xYDy)

74 66
Can a person be Trans SMOD?



YES

Posted by: Leftists at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (FsuaD)

75 I only read it once, though.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2015 06:04 PM (sdi6R)

76 Did you read it twice?

Posted by: Icarus Jhonson at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (Dwehj)

77
SMOD is a tease. Shows her barely clad curves just to get you a little bit hot, then she's off to cavort with some other world.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (ODxAs)

78 So now its horseshoes, hand grenades and asteroids.

Posted by: Skip at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (cJnP4)

79 Any tats on that SMOD?

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (EgOr3)

80 SMOD is a taunting wench....

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (LA7Cm)

81 Are you there, SMOD? It's me, Eris.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (jR7Wy)

82 Why are leftists for trans-everything except tasty fat?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:06 PM (FsuaD)

83 If Obama had a SMOD, it would look just like this one.

Posted by: Smodley at June 16, 2015 06:06 PM (SzdTw)

84 Wake me before the big one hits.

Posted by: Skip at June 16, 2015 06:06 PM (cJnP4)

85 Vote for Cthulhu in 2016, the stars are finally right!

Posted by: exdem13 at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (ry4ab)

86 Why are leftists for trans-everything except tasty fat?


Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:06 PM (FsuaD)
Two words: Gwyneth Paltrow.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (EgOr3)

87 79
Any tats on that SMOD?


Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (EgOr3)


If you look carefully, there's a tat of "one of" Obama's homelands: Indonesia.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (FsuaD)

88 "So in something like 2550 it will finally hit? Sheesh."


Kinda the way it reads, isn't it. With each successive pass getting a little close and closer and closer until........WHAMMO!

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (LA7Cm)

89 Gods wrath for your despoiling the planet and raping poor countries. Repent now sinners! Saint Al Gork has a nice ring to it!

Posted by: Pope Fwancis at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (RwnDB)

90 >>>SMOD is a tease. Shows her barely clad curves just to get you a little bit hot, then she's off to cavort with some other world.


Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (ODxAs)<<<
That dirty whore has cavoorted all around this neighborhood.

Posted by: the Oort Cloud at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (w/7Fi)

91 oh, goody, email from Jeb Bush Jr!

Dad put me in charge of the first day donor drive, and all eyes are on us.

We need to hit 5,000 Day One Supporters by midnight tonight to prove we're serious about taking back the White House.

Once we hit the 24 hour mark, I have to report back and give Dad the update on who got in on day one, and I want your name on the list I hand him.

[Jr, tell your old man to take a hike. Please.]

Posted by: mallfly at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (qSIlh)

92 Will we be able to see the American flag the astronauts left as it flies by?

Posted by: Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX) at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (Y8gN6)

93 78 So now its horseshoes, hand grenades and asteroids.
Posted by: Skip at June 16, 2015 06:05 PM (cJnP4)




Only on Tuesday nights for the first two. The third just seems to happen.

Posted by: Richard Gere at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (vgIRn)

94 Proposed:

An SMOD is said to be going to hit in 24 hours.

How would you spend that time?

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (zRby/)

95 SMOD means smelly emanation of derrière, right?

Posted by: Joe Biden at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (15/oZ)

96 If it hits Guam, it's all over but the shoutin'!

Posted by: Hank Johnson at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (FsuaD)

97 "Will we be able to see the American flag the astronauts left as it flies by?"


That was Mars you twit.

Posted by: Hank Johnson-D at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (LA7Cm)

98 Will we be able to see the American flag the astronauts left as it flies by?

Posted by: Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX) at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (Y8gN6)



It's going so fast the flag blew right off it. Duh.

Posted by: Joe Biden at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (8ZskC)

99 Will we be able to see the American flag the astronauts left as it flies by?

Of course we will, silly.

Posted by: Miss Teen U.S. America at June 16, 2015 06:09 PM (Dwehj)

100 Being a trans-planet isn't as fun as it sounds.

Posted by: Pluto at June 16, 2015 06:09 PM (plsiE)

101 Yeah. Go ahead and make your dumb jokes.

Posted by: The Dinosaurs at June 16, 2015 06:09 PM (8ZskC)

102 Good gravy, I feel cool using the accent in derriere, and all I have to show is a Black Diamond of Death.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:10 PM (15/oZ)

103 Is it weird I'm rooting for SMOD?

After all the hand-wringing over Global Warming, buying favor via electric cars, lightbulbs, low-flow showerheads, etc. it would be funny to have the world end by something that absolutely no one* could control. Would love to see a vegan when they realize yes, they could have been eating tasty bacon for years - they were still going to be offed by random space rocks.

*Assuming Bruce Willis can't really drill a hole in it and insert a nuke

Posted by: Lizzy at June 16, 2015 06:10 PM (k2QA3)

104 [Jr, tell your old man to take a hike. Please.]

Posted by: mallfly at June 16, 2015 06:07 PM (qSIlh)
You are soooooo much nicer than I would have been.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:10 PM (EgOr3)

105 Nuke the SMOD from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Posted by: Planet Killer at June 16, 2015 06:10 PM (Pk4NQ)

106 "How would you spend that time?"


Hookers. The hot expensive kind. Booze. And then before it arrives I grab a lawn chair and a beer and go sit out in the yard and watch the most amazing sight humans have ever witnessed.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 16, 2015 06:10 PM (LA7Cm)

107 If necessary, I'm happy to rocket up there and blow the asteroid to kingdom come. Done it before.

Posted by: Brian Williams at June 16, 2015 06:10 PM (LISuA)

108 How would you spend that time?
Posted by: Jakee308
_______________________

I'd burn down my neighbor's house!

Posted by: Russian with a punchline at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (UlJ3l)

109 How cool would it be to be launched into space, land on SMOD, and ride that f*cker to earth and DOOM?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (FsuaD)

110 An SMOD is said to be going to hit in 24 hours.

How would you spend that time?


Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (zRby/)
Drinking with the peeps of the HQ. Duh!

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (EgOr3)

111 That bastard Morden knows what happened to my wife who was aboard the Icarus.

Where's the crew compartment, again?

Posted by: John Sheridan at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (l3LvV)

112 If necessary, I'm happy to rocket up there and blow the asteroid to kingdom come.

Be sure and bring along the salad-buster.

Posted by: Miss Teen U.S. America at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (Dwehj)

113 An SMOD

Huh. All this time I've been saying "smod" instead of ess em oh dee.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (ZKzrr)

114 Icarus. Isn't that what that brainless twit Charles Johnson likes to call his sorry, pathetic,worthless, stupid, mother fukkin, cock suckin', shit eatin' dog self?

Posted by: maddogg at June 16, 2015 06:12 PM (xWW96)

115 How cool would it be to be launched into space, land on SMOD, and ride that f*cker to earth and DOOM?
Posted by: Jane D'oh

It'd be pretty damned cool. Believe me.

Posted by: Slim Pickens at June 16, 2015 06:12 PM (tgnRB)

116 The really depressing thing is that Hillary, Obama, Reid, Jarrett, Pelosi, Lerner et al are pathetic, vile, measly insects compared to SMOD.

Yet we are as helpless, as impotent in the face of these politicians as we are confronted with SMOD. AAAAAARGH!!!!

Posted by: Keir Dullea at June 16, 2015 06:12 PM (6qR/9)

117 This seems an appropriate thread. Somebody proposed this as a joke on the Trump thread but no, it's real. Trump wants Oprah as his VP.

http://tinyurl.com/qfj8e84

Posted by: The Great White Snark at June 16, 2015 06:12 PM (XUKZU)

118 " and ride that f*cker to earth and DOOM? "

Not a bad way to go if you'n askin' me.

Posted by: Slim Pickens at June 16, 2015 06:12 PM (LA7Cm)

119 How cool would it be to be launched into space, land on SMOD, and ride that f*cker to earth and DOOM?

Posted by: Jane D'oh

That would be the most awesome thing ever, except for winning the Powerball.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (EgOr3)

120 It'd be pretty damned cool. Believe me.

Posted by: Slim Pickens at June 16, 2015 06:12 PM (tgnRB)


Heh. I was remembering that scene and couldn't remember your name.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (FsuaD)

121 @118

Dammit, Slim!

Posted by: Slim Pickens at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (LA7Cm)

122 Trump could handle this. He's got experts.

Posted by: freaked at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (BO/km)

123 113 An SMOD

Huh. All this time I've been saying "smod" instead of ess em oh dee.
Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (ZKzrr)



KNEEL BEFORE SMOD!


Did someone beat me to it? They did, didn't they.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (vgIRn)

124 Would be even more awesome with a gigantic toupee.

Posted by: Y-not at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (RWGcK)

125 Who would like to hear my 18 point plan for Comet Colony Newtopolis?

Posted by: Newt Gingrich at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (plsiE)

126 Do a Slim Pickens number. Waving my hat and yodeling my head off.

YAHHOOOOOO FCUKERS!!! HERE I COME.

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (zRby/)

127 How cool would it be to be launched into space, land on SMOD, and ride that f*cker to earth and DOOM?

It would feel just like the day we released Gigli.

Posted by: Ben Affleck at June 16, 2015 06:14 PM (8ZskC)

128 Hookers. The hot expensive kind. Booze. And then before it arrives I grab a lawn chair and a beer and go sit out in the yard and watch the most amazing sight humans have ever witnessed.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 16, 2015 06:10 PM (LA7Cm)


---------------------------------------


Half-way with ya. The hookers would be emotional basket cases. Totally unfuckable. So I'd get the most expensive steaks I could find, invite friends over, eat, and then watch the most exclusive sight that man has ever seen.

Posted by: Soona at June 16, 2015 06:14 PM (P25Hh)

129 An SMOD



Huh. All this time I've been saying "smod" instead of ess em oh dee.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 16, 2015 06:11 PM (ZKzrr)


It's SMOD. And it's ONT. Whoever put that is probably one of those "OOT" goofballs.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:14 PM (EgOr3)

130 Caught between a rock and a hard place.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 16, 2015 06:14 PM (Z9g7j)

131 124 Would be even more awesome with a gigantic toupee.
Posted by: Y-not at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (RWGcK)

--Yes! Bring back the Blago Hair!

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:15 PM (15/oZ)

132 Wouldnt world fires create more global warming???

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 16, 2015 06:15 PM (iQIUe)

133 Trump wants Oprah as his VP

Trump/Rump 2016

Posted by: Miss Teen U.S. America at June 16, 2015 06:15 PM (Dwehj)

134 Oh, wow, logprof, I wonder how Rod's doing these days. I think he's out of the slammer, no? Be very insouciant if he would declare himself a candidate for the D prezzy contest.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (EgOr3)

135 Oprah? Oh shit. Ok I guess he's a joke after all. Shit. I'd rather have Rachel Dolezal as VP.

Posted by: Forrest Trump at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (6qR/9)

136 SMOD is not getting anywhere near Earth, so don't get your hopes up. I'm here and I won't let it.

Posted by: Brian Williams at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (LISuA)

137 No SMOD, don't go.
Come back SMOD, come BAAAACCCK!

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (+aCe4)

138
Dont worry. Meatball and Meatball Jr. are on it!

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (iQIUe)

139 Caught between a rock and a hard place. Posted by: Diogenes at June 16, 2015 06:14 PM (Z9g7j)


Not groan inducing puns again...that is really hitting below the (asteroid) belt Diogenes!

Posted by: LizLem at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (hvf9s)

140 I'm not a LeBron hater, but I want to see Cleveland lose because Factory of Sadness.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (15/oZ)

141 127 How cool would it be to be launched into space, land on SMOD, and ride that f*cker to earth and DOOM?

Even beats Bells Beach with the fifty year storm Agent Utah.

Posted by: Bodie at June 16, 2015 06:17 PM (RwnDB)

142 This is happening because of God's wrath and not enough World Socialist Government but mostly not enough World Socialist Government.

Posted by: The Pope at June 16, 2015 06:17 PM (Y8gN6)

143 Yes! Bring back the Blago Hair!
Posted by: logprof

The Blago Hair is currently the property of the State of Illinois Dept. of Corrections. It will be returned to him upon his release.

Posted by: The prison guard in The Blues Brothers played by Frank Oz at June 16, 2015 06:17 PM (tgnRB)

144 That would be the most awesome thing ever, except for winning the Powerball.


Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:13 PM (EgOr3)


You know what would suck? Winning the Biggest Powerball Ever and find out SMOD is going to hit in fifteen minutes.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (FsuaD)

145 Ah, srsly, he's not out yet? Cripes, you can slaughter entire families in California and be out doin' it again by next week.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (EgOr3)

146 Just to make sure, Obama will send a nuke up to nudge it out farther. Says nothing should go wrong.

Posted by: JD at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (TzeLs)

147 but I want to see Cleveland lose because Factory of Sadness.

That and Lebron is a whiny bitch.

Posted by: Bodie at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (RwnDB)

148 134 Oh, wow, logprof, I wonder how Rod's doing these days. I think he's out of the slammer, no? Be very insouciant if he would declare himself a candidate for the D prezzy contest.
Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:16 PM (EgOr3)

--Hey, Peaches!

I still laugh recalling the Taiwan animation that had Blago and his wife swearing on the phone with a giant picture of hair hanging on the wall behind him.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (15/oZ)

149 You need to learn to stop worrying and love SMOD.

Posted by: Stanley Kubrick at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (6qR/9)

150 SMOD will be no match for me!

Posted by: Planet Hillary at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (w/7Fi)

151 I dunno, I'd spend the time in prayer preparing myself to meet the Maker.

Posted by: Ken at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (FQMPG)

152 TrumpFrey!1

Posted by: Miss Teen U.S. America at June 16, 2015 06:19 PM (Dwehj)

153 #117

So his next show is going to be Celebrity Vice President.

The ball's in your court, Shitlery.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at June 16, 2015 06:19 PM (0IhFx)

154 "Winning the Biggest Powerball Ever and find out SMOD is going to hit in fifteen minutes."



Kind of a great big "Fcuk. You!" from the Big Guy.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 16, 2015 06:19 PM (LA7Cm)

155 >>An SMOD is said to be going to hit in 24 hours. How would you spend that time?

A movie about that - "Last Night."

Like most others, indulging in good food, drinks with friends and family.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 16, 2015 06:19 PM (k2QA3)

156 You know what would suck? Winning the Biggest Powerball Ever and find out SMOD is going to hit in fifteen minutes.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (FsuaD)


-------------------------------------------


But you'd die rich. How cool would that be.

Posted by: Soona at June 16, 2015 06:19 PM (P25Hh)

157 Whaaaa? No Twitter link?
Allow me. @SMOD2016

Posted by: Golfman at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (KT9px)

158 And this seems appropriate as well. What the smart people at The New Republic are thinking:

But the primary difference between expressing gender and expressing a specific cultural identity is that everyone lives life through the lens of gender, and must relate to it as a spectrum or a binary, even if they relate to it by refusing to relate to it. To be African-American is to be born into a highly specific cultural world, to have a specific history rooted in specific traumas and specific triumphs. To "identify as black" when one is not is to externalize something that is not internal, to invent rather than express. To take on a particular gender identity, at any time in life, is to explore and play with and live through a form of identity we all possess, and all have the freedom to use however we wish to, since doing otherwise inevitably means letting it use us.

Ultimately, Rachel Dolezal's story seems like a story about fear. It expresses the fear all white Americans have, or should have: fear of acknowledging our own cultural history as creators of trauma and inflictors of abuse; fear of acknowledging the guilt inherent in this narrative, and, even more staggeringly, taking on the task of alchemizing guilt into something useful. Dolezal's story also expresses, in its most redemptive moments, the love and respect she truly seemed to have for African-American culture-and the weakness that allowed her to see it not as a culture she wanted to use her white privilege to advocate for, but as a shelter in which she could hide from herself.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (XUKZU)

159 >>"Winning the Biggest Powerball Ever and find out SMOD is going to hit in fifteen minutes."


Is that the lunchtime poll question from "heathers"?

Posted by: Lizzy at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (k2QA3)

160 SMOD is parked in a neighboring state too I see, just outside of Earths gravitational pull. Smart tax planning.

Posted by: His Majesty's Viceroy John Kerry, Il Magnifico at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (LISuA)

161 Maybe ISIS are just people who identify as being SMOD. In that case we have no right to condemn them.

Posted by: sanctimonious SJW lemming at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (6qR/9)

162
I dunno, I'd spend the time in prayer preparing myself to meet the Maker.

Posted by: Ken at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (FQMPG)
Well, I'd definitely say a quick "thank you" and be happy that all the freakin' prayers I say actually counted for something. Then I'd have a couple brewskis and give the cats some extra food, just in case.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (EgOr3)

163 Global warming makes space around Earth thicker so it slows down asteroids faster and makes them crash in to Earth. The science is settled.

Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (BO/km)

164 That's not the Sweet Meteor of Death, that's the Sweet Meteor of Irritation.

Dirty lettuce at Chipotle vs terminal dysentery.


Posted by: JEM (sometimes The Devoceleraptor) at June 16, 2015 06:20 PM (o+SC1)

165 It would just be our luck that SMOD hits Lake Yellowstone or Lake Toba.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:21 PM (15/oZ)

166
Meatball Jr will coooo the SMOD away from the earth:

https://vine.co/v/eeJqQ2WIegd

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 16, 2015 06:21 PM (iQIUe)

167 And this seems appropriate as well. What the smart people at The New Republic are thinking:


Just when you'd though the Happy Horse had taken his last shit.

Posted by: Miss Teen U.S. America at June 16, 2015 06:21 PM (Dwehj)

168 Sorry baby but the timing doesn't feel right.
Maybe if you haven't been crushed by another meteor, and I'm not crushing any planets, in a few years we could try again?

Posted by: SMOD at June 16, 2015 06:22 PM (JVEmw)

169 So SMOD will pass us by? My ennui continues. *le sigh*

Posted by: fly gal at June 16, 2015 06:22 PM (8TdcF)

170 I sold " factories of sadness"to the Republic of China for donations to the Clinton Foundation in 1998

Posted by: Bill Clinton at June 16, 2015 06:22 PM (xQX/f)

171 Tropical Storm Bill was not the SMOD we thought it would be for Houston. We are not out of the woods yet since we are going to get drenched tonight.

Posted by: Cruzinator at June 16, 2015 06:22 PM (rxtQa)

172 So, Trump came out today did he? It must be a giant relief for him after three marriages and all those years of pretending to be a heterosexual.

Posted by: Emily Litella at June 16, 2015 06:22 PM (LISuA)

173 166


Meatball Jr will coooo the SMOD away from the earth:



https://vine.co/v/eeJqQ2WIegd

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 16, 2015 06:21 PM (iQIUe)


OMG! Want to hug and give belly kisses!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:22 PM (FsuaD)

174 62: The Captain and tacos. Lifes good. Bring on SMOD. I'll sit in my jaccuzzi and watch the brilliance. The cryin lefty fucks will be worth it.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at June 16, 2015 06:23 PM (ucDmr)

175 Boner is doing his own purge act on House members that voted against TAA/TPA. If you didn't support otrade you just lost your committee assignment.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 06:23 PM (nXwwc)

176 Then I'd have a couple brewskis and give the cats some extra food, just in case.

The cats are already planning to rise from the ashes to become the dominant sentient life form on Earth in a few million years.

Don't do anything to encourage them.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 16, 2015 06:23 PM (8ZskC)

177 We must save the planet by making thinner space.

Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (BO/km)

178 That and Lebron is a whiny bitch.
Posted by: Bodie at June 16, 2015 06:18 PM (RwnDB)


--You should at least thank LeBron for debunking the myth that penis length is proportional to height.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (15/oZ)

179 Are you smarter than a fifth grader? How far is the sun from earth? The moon from earth?

Posted by: Cruzinator at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (rxtQa)

180
OMG! Want to hug and give belly kisses!




Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:22 PM (FsuaD)
OMG!! How adorable is that kid????

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (EgOr3)

181 The cats are already planning to rise from the ashes to become the dominant sentient life form on Earth in a few million years.



Don't do anything to encourage them.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 16, 2015 06:23 PM (8ZskC)


As well as having sharp teeth and claws, they'll walk upright and have opposable thumbs.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (FsuaD)

182 Maybe if you haven't been crushed by another meteor, and I'm not crushing any planets, in a few years we could try again?
Posted by: SMOD

Damn SMODs are all the same. Tease Earth and then it's off to impact Jupiter because he's rich in liquid-metalic hydrogen, and that's all they really care about.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the Indestructible at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (tgnRB)

183 An SMOD is said to be going to hit in 24 hours. How would you spend that time?

Planting a tree

Posted by: Martin Luther at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (GsvmL)

184 @175 - so what kind of leverage do we have against the Orange Idiot? If I had a billion to spare I'd tear apart that little fucker's personal life pour encourager les autres.

Posted by: JEM (sometimes The Devoceleraptor) at June 16, 2015 06:25 PM (o+SC1)

185 he cats are already planning to rise from the ashes to become the dominant sentient life form on Earth in a few million years.



Don't do anything to encourage them.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 16, 2015 06:23 PM (8ZskC)

Everything's fine until the dolphins leave, thanking us for all the fish...THEN you have to start worrying. And find a towel.

Posted by: LizLem at June 16, 2015 06:25 PM (hvf9s)

186 OMG!! How adorable is that kid????


Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (EgOr3)


I know!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:25 PM (FsuaD)

187 --You should at least thank LeBron for debunking the myth that penis length is proportional to height.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (15/oZ)
You know, I watched that little gif about 12 times and I didn't see no peen. Or is that the point you are making? lol!!

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:25 PM (EgOr3)

188 As well as having sharp teeth and claws, they'll walk upright and have opposable thumbs.

Sure, but one ball of yarn and they forget all about what they were doing.

Posted by: Martin Luther at June 16, 2015 06:25 PM (GsvmL)

189 175: Fuck Boner with a rusty barbed wire wrapped pineapple up his orange tatted ass.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at June 16, 2015 06:25 PM (ucDmr)

190
Like in the past, the sloths will have the edge. Anything that can burrow underground will have a fighting chance.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 16, 2015 06:26 PM (iQIUe)

191
I'm working on my own version of SMOD for those particularly difficult countries who won't acquiesce to my position. Also, did you see the ass on my wife Melania, and can you imagine her in the White House with a vegetable garden? She won't need puffing up by Cosmo or any of the other women's magazines because she's got what it takes. Great tit and ass show!

Posted by: Donald Trump at June 16, 2015 06:26 PM (P330y)

192 183
An SMOD is said to be going to hit in 24 hours. How would you spend that time?




Getting a tat. Duh.

Posted by: LIV at June 16, 2015 06:26 PM (FsuaD)

193 An SMOD is said to be going to hit in 24 hours.

How would you spend that time?
Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 06:08 PM (zRby/)
----
I'd go out with a bang, in all senses of the word. Maybe begin with some deep, meaningful it's-the-end-of-the-world-c'mon-c'mon! shagging, then fire off some BIG rockets, then build a huge bonfire and dance widdershins as the evening sky turns blood red under the angry eye of a vengeful SMOD.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 16, 2015 06:26 PM (jR7Wy)

194 Why does SMOD keep teasing us?

TRAMP!

Posted by: Paladin at June 16, 2015 06:26 PM (QGbEp)

195 The Conspiracy nuts are having a field. "Its going to hit the planet!!. Get in your bunkers!! The gub'mint says its not going to hit to avoid panic!! Go ahead and panic!!

Anyone want to give odds they are right?

Posted by: Tim in Illinois at June 16, 2015 06:27 PM (U7H1n)

196 179 Are you smarter than a fifth grader? How far is the sun from earth? The moon from earth?
Posted by: Cruzinator at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (rxtQa)


--Easy. Earth is 1 AU from the sun, and the moon roughly one and a half light seconds from Earth.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:27 PM (15/oZ)

197 At least SMOD is still a meteor.

The last thing we need is to find out SMOD has always felt like a moon trapped in a meteor's body.

"I always felt more comfortable orbiting a planet" or some such sh*t.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at June 16, 2015 06:27 PM (sH832)

198 Just finished Neal Stephenson's "Seveneves", which began thusly:

"The moon blew up without warning and for no apparent reason."

Eventually the debris from the moon began raining down on Earth (about two years after that beginning sentence) and the Cleansing Fires rendered the surface of the Earth uninhabitable for almost 5,000 years.

The book is the story of how the 1500 survivors who had been shot into orbit after the moon disintegrated, clinging to the International Space Station and other habitats adjoining, made their way to a stable rock in a higher orbit, and eventually returned to Earth to attempt to Terraform it and repopulate it.

Like most Neal Stephenson books, it is brilliant in its endless discussions and descriptions of technology and big ideas, sorely lacking in character development, and ends very abruptly without much resolution of major themes. So, one of the most interesting books I've ever read, and one of the most tedious.

"Ooooohhhhh, Luna! Sweet, Sweet Luna!! Where is thy STING!?!?! Send your CLEANSING FIRE . . . (please, before President Vagina is sworn in) . . . (please . . . )"

Posted by: Sharkman at June 16, 2015 06:27 PM (72D6h)

199 As well as having sharp teeth and claws, they'll walk upright and have opposable thumbs.




Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:24 PM (FsuaD)
They will need them if I am incinerated and no longer around to put the food in the dish. But, they probably won't figure that out until they are done dining on Barbecue Mommy.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:28 PM (EgOr3)

200 "We are not out of the woods yet since we are going to get drenched tonight. "


4-10" they're saying. I hope not. Good to hear the winds and such weren't as bad as could have been.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (LA7Cm)

201 Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:27 PM (15/oZ)

You're definitely more smartass than a fifth grader.

Posted by: Cruzinator at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (rxtQa)

202 In the meantime, Fox is all TRANS FATS!!!!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (FsuaD)

203 Yes, but does 1566 Icarus self-identify as an comet, rather than an asteroid?

And what's with the Nazi-style numerical branding, hey?

Those are the real questions, here.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (72D6h)

204 The white lady in the pool fight who got suspended from her job for trying to get Keef off her friend has hired Allred to defend her.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (iQIUe)

205 Icarus self-identifies as a SMOD

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at June 16, 2015 06:30 PM (Kucy5)

206 In the meantime, Fox is all TRANS FATS!!!!! Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (FsuaD)

So kind of Jeb to donate his extra fat to plump up Caitlyn Jenner's face! Oh wait that's not the trans fats you mean.


Posted by: LizLem at June 16, 2015 06:30 PM (hvf9s)

207 More like Sweet Meteor of Pleasant Breeze, amirite?

Posted by: Dave S. at June 16, 2015 06:30 PM (mhkbv)

208 In the meantime, Fox is all TRANS FATS!!!!!
Posted by: Jane D'oh

OMG! Faux News is insulting trans fats. Transphobic!!!

Posted by: Puffington Host at June 16, 2015 06:31 PM (tgnRB)

209 The white lady in the pool fight who got suspended
from her job for trying to get Keef off her friend has hired Allred to
defend her.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (iQIUe)
I don't know what the female grievance sector is gonna do when ol' Gloria corks off. Which can't be too long now, I think she went to high school with SMOD.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:31 PM (EgOr3)

210 184,189. My congressman voted for both TAA and TPA. I can tell you now that when that bastard comes home for summer recess I'm going to take two weeks off and be at every public function that SoB attends. He already knows who I am and he isn't going to be happy 'cause I can make him lose his temper with just simple pointed questions. Here's lookin ay ya Joe.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 06:31 PM (nXwwc)

211 I got a boat once but it came home and said during Thanksgiving that it was a ferry and ruined the whole evening.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 16, 2015 06:31 PM (GsvmL)

212 "The moon blew up without warning and for no apparent reason."


He must not know about that IMAO dude.
http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at June 16, 2015 06:32 PM (ZKzrr)

213 An SMOD is said to be going to hit in 24 hours.

Said to be? Like Obamacare was said to be revenue-neutral, or Obama is said to be a friend of Israel?

Depends on who's saying it.

Posted by: JEM (sometimes The Devoceleraptor) at June 16, 2015 06:32 PM (o+SC1)

214 In dramatic lore they are known as Famine, Pestilence Destruction, and Death. These are only aliases. Their real names are Stuhldreher, Miller, Crowly, and Layden.

Posted by: Grantland Rice at June 16, 2015 06:32 PM (+jijM)

215 210 184,189. My congressman voted for both TAA and TPA. I can tell you now that when that bastard comes home for summer recess I'm going to take two weeks off and be at every public function that SoB attends. He already knows who I am and he isn't going to be happy 'cause I can make him lose his temper with just simple pointed questions. Here's lookin ay ya Joe.
Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 06:31 PM (nXwwc)


My congressman is in the hospital. Boehner took a quick left turn and broke Royce's nose nearly off in his ass.

Posted by: just saying at June 16, 2015 06:33 PM (wkuqO)

216
Icarus! 2016

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 16, 2015 06:33 PM (kdS6q)

217 Moons blow up all the time. It's what they do. It's one of themiracles of nature.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 16, 2015 06:33 PM (+aCe4)

218 Moons blow up all the time. It's what they do. It's one of themiracles of nature.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 16, 2015 06:33 PM (+aCe4)
No shit, man.

Posted by: The Who at June 16, 2015 06:34 PM (EgOr3)

219 Moons blow up all the time.


That's no moon....

Posted by: Obi-Wan at June 16, 2015 06:34 PM (ZKzrr)

220 So 0bama can lower the seas and cool the air, but he can't stop SMOD?

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:35 PM (15/oZ)

221 Moons do blow up. Didn't you see Star Wars? The science is settled.

Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:36 PM (BO/km)

222 How would you spend that time?
Posted by: Jakee308
_____________________

No need to get all bothered. Asteroids are merely a social construct.

Posted by: Social Justice Astronomer at June 16, 2015 06:36 PM (UlJ3l)

223 In the meantime, Fox is all TRANS FATS!!!!! Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 16, 2015 06:29 PM (FsuaD)





"Transfats" are right there between "trimesters" and "health care" in the Good and Plenty clause.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at June 16, 2015 06:36 PM (vgIRn)

224 You cannot stop SMOD. You can only hope to contain it.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 16, 2015 06:37 PM (GsvmL)

225 Asteroids are comets with dimorphic issues.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 16, 2015 06:37 PM (+aCe4)

226 He's no son of mine!

Posted by: Daedalus at June 16, 2015 06:37 PM (W5DcG)

227 If you didn't support otrade you just lost your committee assignment.

-
Because we're all on the same team.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at June 16, 2015 06:37 PM (XUKZU)

228 I never saw Ted, because I got the feeling all the funny parts were in the ads. I get the same vibe with Ted 2.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:38 PM (15/oZ)

229 217 Moons blow up all the time. It's what they do. It's one of themiracles of nature.

Posted by: Tilikum Killer Assault Whale at June 16, 2015 06:33 PM (+aCe4)


Praxis certainly went out with a bang, amirite? Oh, my!

Posted by: Capt. Sulu at June 16, 2015 06:38 PM (l3LvV)

230 How would you spend that time?
Posted by: Jakee308
___________________________

I would look at SMOD through the wrong end of my binoculars so it would be really tiny. Then when it hit the earth, it wouldn't cause much damage.

Posted by: Neil deGrasse Tyson at June 16, 2015 06:38 PM (UlJ3l)

231 224 You cannot stop SMOD. You can only hope to contain it.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at June 16, 2015 06:37 PM (GsvmL)

--You're supposed to sock Charlie Steiner or Dan Patrick.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:39 PM (15/oZ)

232
And for space history buffs, the invaluable David S. F. Portree's article on the 1960s MIT student's project on how to take out Icarus if it were headed toward Earth.

Bad news. We're kinda short of Saturn 5s nowadays.

http://tinyurl.com/npbnotn

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 16, 2015 06:39 PM (kdS6q)

233 Physicist Gregory Benford wrote a fine novel, In the Ocean of Night, about a mission to deflect Ircarus from hitting Earth.

Posted by: pst314 at June 16, 2015 06:40 PM (T4dRn)

234 @215- Old Joe is pulling a train with Pete Sessions and Boner. He got scared the last time he was in a run-off but I guess that has worn off. I also know his chief flunky so I can piss him off on two fronts.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 06:40 PM (nXwwc)

235 I'm thinking Obama ordered up the SMOD. When it lands in the ocean it will splash out some of the water lowering the oceans.

Posted by: just saying at June 16, 2015 06:40 PM (wkuqO)

236 What NDT said! This!!!^^^

Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:40 PM (BO/km)

237 there is no moon. Moons are just a lie we tell ourselves to deny the meaninglessness of life, like God and the Easter bunny.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at June 16, 2015 06:40 PM (XUKZU)

238 And for space history buffs, the invaluable David S. F. Portree's article on the 1960s MIT student's project on how to take out Icarus if it were headed toward Earth.

Bad news. We're kinda short of Saturn 5s nowadays.

http://tinyurl.com/npbnotn
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 16, 2015 06:39 PM (kdS6q)

--I bet even if the USA literally saved the world by knocking out SMOD, most other countries would still bitch about how evil it is.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:41 PM (15/oZ)

239
Donald Trump is an Edsel!

-George Will, Special Report

Posted by: Doctor Fish at June 16, 2015 06:42 PM (P330y)

240 The SMOD has as much right to be here as anyone else.

Posted by: Queer Studies Chairperson at June 16, 2015 06:42 PM (15/oZ)

241 Tis the SMOD'lets one must worry about. Talk about anchor babies.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 06:42 PM (jxzY+)

242 My only real concern with SMOD is how it will affect globull warming. We need our best men on this, right now!

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:42 PM (EgOr3)

243 Asteroid, Meteor, Comet.

When will these eggheads get their lingo straightened out so us plebes won't be seen as fcuking booger-picking dorks?

Posted by: Fritz at June 16, 2015 06:42 PM (GFrM3)

244 George Will is a pretty fart smeller. He is lost to me and has been for a few years.

Posted by: just saying at June 16, 2015 06:43 PM (wkuqO)

245 Everyone is short heavy lift boosters of the Saturn V or Energia range.

Heck, everyone is also lacking in space shuttles.

http://www.ufunk.net/photos/urbex-baikonur-cosmodrome/

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 06:43 PM (jxzY+)

246 I can't believe you won't let me get a tattoo on my nickel belt, Dad! I'm outta here! Five million miles, Dad!

And thanks for the stupid name!

*slams door*

Posted by: 1566 Icarus at June 16, 2015 06:44 PM (aP87+)

247 239
Donald Trump is an Edsel!

-George Will, Special Report
Posted by: Doctor Fish at June 16, 2015 06:42 PM (P330y)




At least he's rarely seen in satanic dungarees, the instruments of our destruction.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at June 16, 2015 06:44 PM (vgIRn)

248 24 hours?

I'd probably ask Mrs. Weasel which ONE project she really wants to have me finish. Something doable in time remaining - like putting my glass and plate in the dishwasher, or picking up my socks.

Posted by: Weasel at June 16, 2015 06:45 PM (e3bId)

249 If Trump is an Edsel what does that make the Hillster? A Buick?

Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:45 PM (BO/km)

250 SMOD is only a problem because the weight of all these extra people on earth slowed down our orbit and put us right in SMOD's crosshairs.

Posted by: Pope Francis at June 16, 2015 06:45 PM (UlJ3l)

251 At least he's rarely seen in satanic dungarees, the instruments of our destruction.
Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains

They don't even hold a crease!

Posted by: David Brooks at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (tgnRB)

252 So we really are going to have a Hot Fudge Sundae on Tuesdae...

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (jxzY+)

253 I will make Icarus pay for its own deflection!

Posted by: Donald Trump at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (+jijM)

254
Hillary and her cankles could well be a Gremlin!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (P330y)

255 SMOD is only a problem because the weight of all these extra people on earth slowed down our orbit and put us right in SMOD's crosshairs.
Posted by: Pope Francis at June 16, 2015 06:45 PM (UlJ3l)


Just wait till the Earth tips over!

Posted by: Hank Johnson at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (W5DcG)

256 It's not you sweetie, it's me.
No. Wait. It's definitely you.

Posted by: SMOD at June 16, 2015 06:47 PM (JVEmw)

257 Just wait till the Earth tips over!
Posted by: Hank Johnson at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (W5DcG)

That still makes me laugh. Well said.

Posted by: just saying at June 16, 2015 06:47 PM (wkuqO)

258 Now I want a Fleggaard.

NSFW

http://tinyurl.com/qf3n39f

Posted by: The Great White Snark at June 16, 2015 06:47 PM (XUKZU)

259 24 hours?

Non-stop bith-slapping my family!

Posted by: Hope Solo at June 16, 2015 06:48 PM (15/oZ)

260
Everyone is short heavy lift boosters of the Saturn V or Energia range.
Posted by: Anna Puma



Also skint on 100 mt warheads. Think the AF has some of the 1 mt gravity bombs left.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 16, 2015 06:48 PM (kdS6q)

261 I gotta Saturn V in my pants.

Posted by: Donald Trumb at June 16, 2015 06:48 PM (xQX/f)

262
I'm black and will remain black until Hillary is elected the first black female president in history.

Posted by: Rachael Dolezol at June 16, 2015 06:48 PM (P330y)

263 Summon the meteors.

Posted by: Xandar at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (rwI+c)

264 If Trump is an Edsel what does that make the Hillster? A Buick?

A vehicle that can't move under its own power. So ... horse-drawn carriage?

Dog cart?

Posted by: something archaic, anyway at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (aP87+)

265 I gotta Saturn V in my pants.

Posted by: Donald Trumb at June 16, 2015 06:48 PM (xQX/f)
Piker.

Posted by: Dick Cheney at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (EgOr3)

266

"Con -- con -- contrails!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (kdS6q)

267 Hillary! is a sanitation wagon.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (jxzY+)

268 Just wait till the Earth tips over!
Posted by: Hank Johnson at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (W5DcG)
---
This is just never not funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs23CjIWMgA

Admiral Willard deserves a medal for not busting a gut. "We don't anticipate that."


Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (jR7Wy)

269 249 If Trump is an Edsel what does that make the Hillster? A Buick?


A Brick.

Posted by: bergerbilder at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (+jijM)

270 249 If Trump is an Edsel what does that make the Hillster? A Buick?
Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:45 PM (BO/km)


--A rusty old pickup sitting on blocks, barely visible over the weeds.

Posted by: logprof at June 16, 2015 06:50 PM (15/oZ)

271 Donald Trump is an Edsel!

-George Will, Special Report

George Will is a Stanley Steamer.

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 06:51 PM (zRby/)

272 Francis makes me glad I have the word lapsed in front of Catholic.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 06:51 PM (nXwwc)

273 If Trump is an Edsel what does that make the Hillster? A Buick?


A broke-back mule. In a pantsuit. A butt-ugly pantsuit.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:52 PM (EgOr3)

274 272 Francis makes me glad I have the word lapsed in front of Catholic.
Posted by: Ben Had
______________________

Then you and I might have more in common than you suspect. Should we do lunch sometime?

Posted by: Pope Francis at June 16, 2015 06:52 PM (UlJ3l)

275 270 249 If Trump is an Edsel what does that make the Hillster? A Buick?
Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:45 PM (BO/km)
---
'71 Ford Pinto.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 16, 2015 06:52 PM (jR7Wy)

276 275 270 249 If Trump is an Edsel what does that make the Hillster? A Buick?
Posted by: A self proclaimed scientist at June 16, 2015 06:45 PM (BO/km)
__________________

A 1965 Corvair

Posted by: Ralph Nader at June 16, 2015 06:54 PM (UlJ3l)

277 Nah Hillary!, due to all her gaffes, is a FIAT 600. Fix It Again Tony.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 06:54 PM (jxzY+)

278 VW Thing. All rusted and rotted out and probably got some kinda weird venereal disease.

Posted by: Peaches at June 16, 2015 06:55 PM (EgOr3)

279 Hillary's a Nash Rambler.

Posted by: Jakee308 at June 16, 2015 06:55 PM (zRby/)

280 [Suddenly remembers that dog-eared copy of Lucifer's Hammer up in the attic].

YESSS!!!!!!!! (Marv Albert Voice)

Posted by: Sharkman at June 16, 2015 06:55 PM (72D6h)

281 What the smart people at The New Republic are thinking: feeeeeeeeeeeling:

Fixed for accuracy.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at June 16, 2015 06:55 PM (oVJmc)

282 Just wait till the Earth tips over!
Posted by: Hank Johnson at June 16, 2015 06:46 PM (W5DcG)
---
This is just never not funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs23CjIWMgA

Admiral Willard deserves a medal for not busting a gut. "We don't anticipate that."


Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 16, 2015 06:49 PM (jR7Wy)




I forget which of the black caucus got all upset when someone mentioned putting more money in a project would like pouring money down a black hole. Rather indignant he was. The onion couldn't make this stuff up.

Posted by: just saying at June 16, 2015 06:55 PM (wkuqO)

283 Mrs Clinton is a rollover hazard! Unsafe at any speed!

Posted by: freaked at June 16, 2015 06:56 PM (BO/km)

284 So I probably should go back to the grocery store and get some real slaughtered cattle to cook up and savor before its the end of the world... and I feel fine.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 06:57 PM (jxzY+)

285 Six of my dear Aunts +Mom took a trip back to Italy. Only comment- I can't believe how many poor there were around the Vatican.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 06:57 PM (nXwwc)

286 That ain't poverty around the Vatican, that is somewhere around 3,000 years of accumulated character...

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 06:58 PM (jxzY+)

287 Corgis, another Jeb post.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 16, 2015 07:00 PM (jxzY+)

288
[Suddenly remembers that dog-eared copy of Lucifer's Hammer up in the attic].
Posted by: Sharkman



Signed first edition hardcover.

*drops mic*

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 16, 2015 07:01 PM (kdS6q)

289 Anna- It's gonna take me three days to clean my keyboard but thank you.

Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 07:01 PM (nXwwc)

290 Icarus is a piker.

SMOD is a fraidy-cat. Fraidy-cat SMOD, that's what I say. He doesn't have the guts to be a real man of an asteroid. He's all talk and when you answer back, he gets real quiet and looks at his feet, muttering something about his Green Lantern poster.

Posted by: Null at June 16, 2015 07:05 PM (xjpRj)

291
Signed first edition hardcover.

*drops mic*


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 16, 2015 07:01 PM (kdS6q)


And therein lies the difference between Stephenson's Seveneves and Niven and Pournelle's Lucifer's Hammer: I sold my signed, first edition Seveneves back to the bookstore for a 10 dollar store credit. I'd sell my sister to the gypsies before I parted with my unsigned, 10th edition of Lucifer's Hammer.

Posted by: Sharkman at June 16, 2015 07:06 PM (72D6h)

292 I see references to Icarus and Daedalus, and I start thinking of bicycle seat, pictures of empty horizons and failed ponytailed jazz musicians.

Posted by: VIA, Self Identified Vagitarian at June 16, 2015 07:16 PM (VPLuQ)

293 Posted by: Ben Had at June 16, 2015 06:31 PM (nXwwc)

Joe Pitts? He is mine and noted he voted for both.

Posted by: LochLomondFarms at June 16, 2015 07:23 PM (tLE6W)

294 The Donald Trump of near earth objects

Posted by: Tmitsss at June 16, 2015 07:47 PM (Pa9vP)

295 OVER HERE! OVER HERE! SMOD, we beseech thee!

Posted by: Agent-J at June 16, 2015 08:34 PM (9Mtv3)

296 >>>101 Yeah. Go ahead and make your dumb jokes.
Posted by: The Dinosaurs at June 16, 2015 06:09 PM (8ZskC)

Thread winner.

Posted by: m at June 17, 2015 03:48 AM (cI4LP)

297 Follow the rules of physics and deliver us from the Left! I'm not ht big on branding.

Posted by: Right Headed at June 18, 2015 01:28 AM (yCsq6)

298 that

Posted by: Right Headed at June 18, 2015 01:29 AM (yCsq6)

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