EMT 5/23/15 Stop Me if You've Heard This One edition[krakatoa]

A bed bug, a puritan scold, and a feminist walk into a mattress store...

This one time, at band camp, I was raped by a woodwind...

...And then the Sec State sez, she sez "Rectum?!"...

Posted by: Open Blogger at 06:00 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Damn near killed em.

Posted by: Typo dynamofo at May 23, 2015 06:02 AM (i7JE3)

2 Way early for a Saturday .

Posted by: Wind Breaker at May 23, 2015 06:06 AM (/pOl7)

3 Sure is quiet around here.

Posted by: Wind Breaker at May 23, 2015 06:07 AM (/pOl7)

4 Too quiet.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at May 23, 2015 06:10 AM (i7JE3)

5 Hmmmmmmm. I've been alone at the end of threads but never the beginning.
What is the opposite of being Willowed?

Posted by: typo dynamofo at May 23, 2015 06:11 AM (i7JE3)

6

DAY 928

535 to go (608 to Inauguration Day 2017)

Muzzies, Marxists, Maoists, Mau-Maus, MFM's, Moochelle, Mao-suits, McCain's, McConnell's, machiavellian Mississippi mudslingers, McAuliffe's, Maduro's, MIRV's, Mexifornians, menacing Mozillan 'mo's, Mugwumps, Monrovian microbes, mutants, malcontents, malthusians, maniacs, malignant medical mandates, martial law, miscreants, microaggressors, minions, maladjusted masochistic multiculturalists, momzers, mamalukes, mooks, mopes, mariuoli, meeskeits, maricons, marauders, malodorous militants, menstruating mons veneri, malfunctioning Moron microsites and miscellaneous meshugas notwithstanding.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 06:12 AM (St6BJ)

7

Rectum? Hell, I nearly killed 'em!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 06:13 AM (St6BJ)

8
Good morning, my fellow rape-shifters. So, I mentioned SCOAMF was invited to a temple and basically told the congregants "Jews to the Gas!" and since it was a leftist joint in Maryland, they all applauded.

I wish those Jews would go to the gas.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 06:14 AM (St6BJ)

9 Morning all.

48 degrees here. Sweet.

Posted by: Golfman at May 23, 2015 06:15 AM (48QDY)

10 Rectum? Sigh...that what Madame Secretary ALWAYS says...

Posted by: Huma's Weiner at May 23, 2015 06:16 AM (vd4oB)

11 Rectum?

We'll get the maker of the video who caused it!

Posted by: typo dynamofo at May 23, 2015 06:18 AM (i7JE3)

12 So now what do we do?

Posted by: Wind Breaker at May 23, 2015 06:20 AM (/pOl7)

13 Mornin' y'all. Insomnia's a real bitch. I'm calling it a night.

Posted by: Country Singer at May 23, 2015 06:23 AM (nL0sw)

14 Just wanted to stop in and say hello to my fans!

Posted by: Katie Couric's colon at May 23, 2015 06:24 AM (Ua6T/)

15 This is the week end for lawn care! You urban dwellers and your high rise apartments have no idea the joy a home owner gets from yard work. The struggle to eradicate the dreaded dandelion; the pulling, the poisoning. Especially when your upwind neighbor believes the beautiful yellow flowers are 'natural' and makes no effort to control the weed. Her property covered in yellow flowers that quickly turn to seed puffballs, all of which drift down wind into your weed patch of Japanese Knot Weed and Indian Paintbrush, burdock, and nettles.

Posted by: Giffered Styless at May 23, 2015 06:24 AM (fnOW+)

16 ...and thistles. Thistle seed put out for finches who spread the thistle seed far and wide until even the cows are driven from the pasture.

Posted by: Giffered Styless at May 23, 2015 06:26 AM (fnOW+)

17 Posted by: Katie Couric's colon at May 23, 2015 06:24 AM

Your 15 minutes are so over. There's a new colon in town.

Posted by: rdbrewer's colon at May 23, 2015 06:27 AM (QiBX8)

18 what it is

Posted by: Dr. Varno at May 23, 2015 06:28 AM (TF10X)

19 J.J. - I sometimes wonder if people knew how the "Palistinians" came to be in the spot they're in they might change their views.

Doubtful.

Posted by: teej at May 23, 2015 06:28 AM (qyZxC)

20 Posted by: rdbrewer's colon

Pucker up in awe of my perkiness.

Posted by: Katie Couric's colon at May 23, 2015 06:30 AM (Ua6T/)

21 Holy shit! I've killed the thread.

Posted by: Katie Couric's colon at May 23, 2015 06:35 AM (Ua6T/)

22 Chris Young, who entered last nights game with an ERA of less than 1.00 goes another 6 innings without giving up a run.
Kendrys Morales has 5 RBI's on 2 home runs.
The bullpen makes it interesting in the 7th, 8th and 9th but gives up zero runs.
And of course, a bit of leather was flashed by the best defense in baseball.
Fall in love with the Royals. They're having fun playing the worlds greatest game and fun to watch.

Posted by: teej at May 23, 2015 06:37 AM (qyZxC)

23
Colon Bowel. Titular head of the GOP.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 06:38 AM (St6BJ)

24 35 here this morning, damn global warming...

Posted by: Colin at May 23, 2015 06:38 AM (rOQws)

25 This one time, at band camp, I was raped by a woodwind...

"Music In A Minor"...

Posted by: The Inappropriate Hat at May 23, 2015 06:46 AM (7YlUk)

26 For the burning times.
Herb to Know: Mullein (Verbascum thapsus)

Posted by: Giffered Styless at May 23, 2015 06:46 AM (fnOW+)

27 Ignored the news yesterday and last night, woke up this morning feeling kinda cheerful.

Then I looked at the headlines on various "news" sites and found that Teh Bitch and the other rumpswabs in the Senate passed Choom Boy's Sooper-Sekret Trade Bill, which Boner asserts is "good for us."

If it's so friggin' good, why aren't details being released? Which third-world shitholes win, and how many million Americans lose, just so the Mocha Messiah can continue his vendetta against the country that has given him far more than could ever earn?

There is a specified punishment for treason, folks, and I'm thinking this act, all by itself, has created a whole p*sspot-full of new candidates for same.

Of course the "conservative" media will tut-tut about this (briefly) before returning to the pressing issue of Shrillery's use of botox and how wonderful Rubio is turning out to be....

Yeah, lovely day. Choom Boy wins again!

Posted by: MrScribbler at May 23, 2015 06:48 AM (P8YHq)

28 typo dynamofo: "What is the opposite of being Willowed?"

Vic'd?

Morning, Glories.

Posted by: mindful webworker - once upon a mite at May 23, 2015 06:56 AM (ZjHNW)

29 Oh, and just in case you're thinking things couldn't get any stranger, take a look at this "news" article about Choom Boy reminding those ungrateful Jooos that he is a "member of the tribe...."

No wonder so many members of the Chosen People support him. Hell, he's only concerned about what's best for them!

http://wapo.st/1JHOO2y

Posted by: MrScribbler at May 23, 2015 06:57 AM (P8YHq)

30 Mindful- Firsted?

Posted by: typo dynamofo at May 23, 2015 06:57 AM (i7JE3)

31 Mornin' mw.
Slow here this morning.

Posted by: teej at May 23, 2015 06:58 AM (qyZxC)

32 Since it's kind of a local story and I haven't seen it mentioned here yet, have a peek into the mind of a good, card-carrying, blue state leftist and find out what they really think about veterans. Have your blood pressure meds standing by.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/m25ssts

Mind you, this woman is a civics teacher. Think about that.

Posted by: rdbrewer's colon at May 23, 2015 06:59 AM (QiBX8)

33 Damn. Off, colo-rectal sock!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 23, 2015 07:00 AM (QiBX8)

34 1 degree Celsius this morning... Maybe it will kill the dandelions since the control freaks in Ontario won't let me do it.

Posted by: canuckjack at May 23, 2015 07:00 AM (SN74r)

35 Gotta run, kids. Have fun and try not to trash the place, m'kay?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 23, 2015 07:01 AM (QiBX8)

36 Well, no Vic up top today, let's see what the rest of the world thinks is news...

WSJ reporter email to Hillary: "Hill, can I ride on your lap to the White House?"

Daily Caller c/o Weasel Zippers http://bit.ly/1Fuvlzd

Ooookay... back to bed.

Posted by: mindful webworker - um... ew... at May 23, 2015 07:01 AM (ZjHNW)

37 No nearly or damn about it. The scrunt got them killed.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:04 AM (zRby/)

38 This country is lost. There is no going back. It is done, they have succeeded in tearing down the greatest country ever known. They can live with what they have done. I am making other plans.

Posted by: Chavez the Hugo at May 23, 2015 07:07 AM (ucDmr)

39 Posted by: canuckjack at May 23, 2015 07:00 AM (SN74r)

*sidles up*

Hey. Wanta buy some really good stuff?

Guaranteed to get you the desired results you're looking for.

41% glyphosate.

Kills weed dead.

You can get it at Home Depot. I don't know if they'll ship it to you considering customs and such but if you live near a border and a Home Depot, then you're all good.

Might as well get used to smuggling stuff now. It's only going to get worse.

This stuff is a bit better than the brand names. It's super concentrate and sells for 60 bucks for 2 gals of concentrate.

My "lawn" is like a baby's bottom with only a few spots I have to treat. (sometimes the coverage isn't what you think it is and you have to douse it again.)

Bon Appetite.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:08 AM (zRby/)

40 We are filth. All the brave men and women who died for this country, and we begin our Memorial Day Weekend with a dirty joke to show some respect.

ISIS can't do anymore damage than what has already been done.

Posted by: Supreme Being at May 23, 2015 07:10 AM (SJ184)

41 Queering the Ring

Businesses have been harassed and attacked for not wanting to support Gay Weddings. Florists, bakers, and photographers are being told they must supply services not only for events they have a moral problem with, but expression of pure belief.

So, if a business provides services, such as selling a custom wedding ring, to a same-sex couple, then that ought to be acceptable to LGBTQ&c. groups, right?

Wrong.

More: http://politicalhat.com/?p=9152

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 23, 2015 07:10 AM (7YlUk)

42 Holy shit! I've killed the thread.
Katie Couric's colon at May 23, 2015 06:35 AM (Ua6T/)

That's not ALL you killed.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:10 AM (zRby/)

43 32

that's completely unreadable

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 07:12 AM (Cq0oW)

44 Everyone should take Limbaugh's advice.

When confronted with the Gay Mafia, tell them you can't comply because it would offend your Muslim customers.

easy peasy.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:13 AM (zRby/)

45 Update on Kentucky-GOV GOP Primary: James Comer takes the high road.

http://moelane.com/2015/05/22/kentucky-james-comer-matt-bevin/

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 23, 2015 07:14 AM (7YlUk)

46 >>>>glyphosate

what, roundup? That's common stuff

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 07:15 AM (Cq0oW)

47 Was glad to see the love zombie got on the ONT last night after getting bitched at.
Thank you to those who spoke up.

And it's after 6 so I'd best get my 2nd cup and start getting some stuff done. Thanks to this torn up knee it takes me all day to do a third of a day's house/yard work done... and I'm about 20 days behind so--

Love each other babies

Posted by: teej at May 23, 2015 07:16 AM (qyZxC)

48 Drudge tweets in response to passing trade bill unread:

"BOEHNER: We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it..."

c/o Hoft, Gateway Pundit
http://bit.ly/1RbZpVz

Posted by: mindful webworker - bizarro washington d.c. at May 23, 2015 07:16 AM (ZjHNW)

49 Is it too late for a "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em" joke?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 23, 2015 07:17 AM (byofM)

50 Lawn like a baby's bottom eh? We should talk

See the problem is we have a snitch line here in commie Ontario and I'm surrounded by NDP voters. Wouldn't trust em as far as I can throw them. I used to have such a nice lawn...

Posted by: canuckjack at May 23, 2015 07:17 AM (SN74r)

51 Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 07:15 AM (Cq0oW)

It's not roundup. Roundup is more expensive.

It's the same stuff but concentrated.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:18 AM (zRby/)

52 that's completely unreadable

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 07:12 AM

Crap. This one works.

http://tinyurl.com/m25ssts

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 23, 2015 07:19 AM (QiBX8)

53 Posted by: MrScribbler at May 23, 2015 06:48 AM (P8YHq)

Yep.

As long as Bitch, and Boner are behind it, you know it will pass, and those two rinos will give Obama exactly what he wants.

I learned a long time ago to distrust any politician that speaks in generalities, instead of specifics.....they wouldn't be hiding the details if this bill was actually as good as they claim it is. Once passed, we'll get the open face shit sandwich, they'll get a few extra dollars in their reelection campaign coffers. Junior Republican congress critters who are convinced to vote for this train wreck will be primaried, and run out of office. Establishment types, like Bitch, and Boner, are safe, and they know it.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at May 23, 2015 07:21 AM (0IhFx)

54 Good morning.

Hasn't rained in like 36 hours, so I guess we'll be okay, right?

>>Emergency management officials in Arkansas are encouraging businesses along the Red River to begin preparing for a possible major flood sometime next week.

Maybe I should order that inflatable boat from Amazon.

Posted by: Mama AJ at May 23, 2015 07:22 AM (0xTsz)

55 Bigby's: "32... that's completely unreadable..."

The text certainly was a mess of apparently computer-generated transcript. I didn't bother getting the video. Don't usually do vid in the a.m.

"Try to keep your blood pressure down because this dish shows you don't mind of the moon back."

I'm guessing the last word was "moonbat"...

Posted by: mindful webworker - tex'ed two speeds at May 23, 2015 07:22 AM (ZjHNW)

56 52 Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 23, 2015 07:19 AM (QiBX

I heard the clip.

She deserves to be bullwhipped.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 07:23 AM (St6BJ)

57 "Maybe I should order that inflatable boat from Amazon."

As I understand, the forecast is for more of the same for next week.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 23, 2015 07:23 AM (byofM)

58 Posted by: canuckjack at May 23, 2015 07:17 AM (SN74r)

Do what I do and apply it with a sprinkling can. (they say on the directions not to use one but it worked for me.)

Or a Hand Sprayer.

Tell them your putting down fertilizer.

You can't tell by the smell what it is.

Plus I do it early in the morning as this allows the plants all day to soak it up while the sun is causing them to photosynthesize. They draw it up into their roots faster.

With the sprinkler your spray you can spot spray. I'm going for a complete kill because I'm going to replace the lawn. It's nothing but weeds and crap that looks like hell. So I'm killing it all off before plowing it up and replacing it en masse. I also have to slope it a bit for drainage and killing the grass makes it easier to plow. (actually a tiller type deal).

I may just put mulch over the whole thing it's only a strip about 10'x60'.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:25 AM (zRby/)

59 Sefton, she's a freakin' civics teacher! And people wonder why MA is in the state it's in. On the plus side, someone looked her up on one of those 'rate my teacher' sites, and the kids nuked her. Apparently she spends way too much class time hating Republicans.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 23, 2015 07:25 AM (QiBX8)

60 *sigh*

It's all the boomers that went into education because they couldn't get a real job that have totally screwed the country up.

Whole topics left out or twisted.

The US made to look like the aggressor in every situation.

Someone said once that if a foreign country had sent agents in to do what the Dept of Education has done to our education system, we would've gone to war. (well maybe back in the '90's. Now? Not so much).

L. I. B.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:29 AM (zRby/)

61 "41% glyphosate.

Kills weed dead.

You can get it at Home Depot. I don't know if they'll ship it to you considering customs and such but if you live near a border and a Home Depot, then you're all good.

Might as well get used to smuggling stuff now. It's only going to get worse.

Bon Appetite.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:08 AM (zRby/)"

Yeah, and it'll kill your lawn dead, too. Glyphosate is a non-selective herbicide that should *never* be used in lawns other than to renovate them from scratch.

A selective weed control such as a Weed-B-Gone or similar is appropriate here.

The Enviro-Nazis love when people misuse pesticides as they never let a crisis go to waste.

Posted by: Pete Moss, The Agrostologist of the Apocolypse at May 23, 2015 07:29 AM (GgGgG)

62 And just look at the picture of Bitch up on Drudge right now. How the hell does he frown like that?

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at May 23, 2015 07:29 AM (0IhFx)

63 The forecast, after today, is thunderstorms or chance of t-storms every single day.

Posted by: Mama AJ at May 23, 2015 07:30 AM (0xTsz)

64 @bc I have half an acre so starting over isn't an option plus the neighbors completely yellow lawns will win again. I miss my 2-4d when the ban first started i would go to NY for the good stuff but you can smell it from a mile away

Posted by: canuckjack at May 23, 2015 07:31 AM (SN74r)

65 He thinks being called a Turtle is cool.

I wonder what Obama has on him. Pedophilia? BDSM? Maybe he's a secret furry.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:31 AM (zRby/)

66 Yeah, this stuff doesn't smell as strongly as the old school weed killers.

Of course, I don't know how good my sense of smell is.

Get a pump sprayer and spot spray.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:33 AM (zRby/)

67 The Federal Empire honors Representative Orange and Senator Turtle for their outstanding service to the Empire.

Posted by: eman at May 23, 2015 07:33 AM (MQEz6)

68 You could always sow poppies or better yet Scotch thistle.

Unless you use that area.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:34 AM (zRby/)

69 28. What is the opposite of being Willowed?

The answer was right therein front of you! Not "vic'd".

"Morning Gloried".

As in: "I really got Morning Gloried in that last thread...there couldn't have been more that 20 posts after mine..."

Posted by: King Ding Dong at May 23, 2015 07:36 AM (EdhH3)

70
Bitch Boner. That's about the size of it.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 07:37 AM (St6BJ)

71 Any truth to the story that Ted Cruz voted for the secret trade bill?

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 23, 2015 07:42 AM (QHgTq)

72 "I wonder what Obama has on him. Pedophilia? BDSM? Maybe he's a secret furry.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 23, 2015 07:31 AM (zRby/)"

It is really not important what Obama is blackmailing him with. The important information is that he has done something bad enough that he can be blackmailed and he needs to be taken out in the next primary.

Face it. Blackmail makes more sense than any other explanation of why the Republicans are behaving this way. We don't really care about the details. All we need to know is that it is bad enough.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 23, 2015 07:46 AM (QHgTq)

73 @71

Seems so.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 23, 2015 07:47 AM (byofM)

74 Mornin yall. As you can see from my moniker I am f'd again. As we all are.

Posted by: f'd at May 23, 2015 07:47 AM (JdEZJ)

75 pancakes queso de frier salami especial coffee eggs

going half assed latino for breakfast

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 07:48 AM (Cq0oW)

76 "And Granddad says, Thank you, ma'am. I'll take the soup."

Posted by: Spellcheck, M.D. at May 23, 2015 07:49 AM (iKhVZ)

77 So, Supergirl tv series isn't supposed to premiere until November, but the premiere episode has been "bootlegged" to file-sharing sites. Since it carries no watermarks, some suspect it's an intentional release for promotional purposes.

Or because it's so bad.

So, we watched it last night. It's a mixed bag. From the same producers who created Arrow and Flash.

Spoilers, sort-of.

One thing I like is that they tried to get away from the Dark Knight heaviness that marks every other superduper movie or series in the last twenty-five years. They didn't entirely succeed. And in the process, they came dangerously close to the too-light-and-too-fluffy feeling of that SNL skit of a "Black Widow" movie when we see the girl with the power of a god fetching coffee for her publisher-boss, or getting tongue-tied meeting Superman's Pal.

Mostly, it was all too rushed. Origin on Krypton, arrival on earth, years with adopted parents, all disposed of in a few scenes. Meeting with wise ethnic mentor (JAMES Olson, not Jimmy, has turned black, like the Human Torch and Nick Fury - epidemic of revitiligo, I think). Decision to become a superhero after years of wanting to be "normal." Revealing her deepest secret to a geeky co-worker. Super-secret government MiB group. And setting up the battles for the season, a boatload of ugly super-baddies who hate her. Too much, too fast, too shallow.

Maybe these shows would work better as half-hours.

Did get a grin out of (the brief glimpse of) her earthly parents, played by Supergirl of the 1984 movie and Superman of Lois & Clark. (Dean didn't even get a line, though.) And the defense given for using SuperGirl instead of -Woman was an excellent slap in the face to language nazis.

As an old superhero comics fan, I'll be generous and give it three Aces out of five. Fluffy, not stuffy.

Posted by: mindful webworker - with critic's monocle at May 23, 2015 07:50 AM (ZjHNW)

78 g'mornin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at May 23, 2015 07:56 AM (KCxzN)

79 76 "And Granddad says, Thank you, ma'am. I'll take the soup."
Posted by: Spellcheck, M.D. at May 23, 2015 07:49 AM (iKhVZ)

Super Sex!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 07:59 AM (St6BJ)

80 Morning, all...
Coffee is good this am...

Posted by: anon a mouse at May 23, 2015 08:01 AM (C9pBZ)

81 I am in ATL. BSA National meeting ended last night. NY Slime story about ghey leaders is total horse shit.

Just a heads up.

Posted by: Nip Sip at May 23, 2015 08:03 AM (M5Pt7)

82 And the defense given for using SuperGirl instead of -Woman was an excellent slap in the face to language nazis.

And completely CIS-norming.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 23, 2015 08:04 AM (oVJmc)

83 75
pancakes queso de frier salami especial coffee eggs

going half assed latino for breakfast

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 07:48 AM (Cq0oW)

Oak Leaf Chardonnay, for breakfast from Commiefolia

Posted by: Nip Sip at May 23, 2015 08:05 AM (M5Pt7)

84 Boner and McConnell are utterly useless. The worst pathetic R duo we could ever have at this point in time. Absolute worst. New powers to the treasonous bast*rd who is wrecking America. Great, just great. So I assume now that the US will be on the crap end of whatever we get out of this. And millions of jobs will disappear.

And the LIVs will cheer.

Posted by: Lady in Black at May 23, 2015 08:05 AM (yht2f)

85 Right now the GOP is being run by the cronies. They've subjugated the grass roots and are being run for gummint money and gumint deals. That means playing with Obama the Pork King, and Mitchie and John are up for it.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 23, 2015 08:09 AM (oVJmc)

86 anon a mouse: "Coffee is good this am..."

It's that Texas water.

(As long as you're not in one of the sulphurous areas.)

Posted by: mindful webworker - gurgle at May 23, 2015 08:11 AM (ZjHNW)

87 You don't come here for the Social Justice Campus Rape/Assault Support Group, do you?

Posted by: a bear talking to Jackie and Emma at May 23, 2015 08:14 AM (kivUY)

88 Don't think these assholes are done with us yet. Next up on the hit parade is the EPA's version of cap and trade, which will increase electricity costs by 50% as soon as 2020.

Posted by: Ben Had at May 23, 2015 08:14 AM (ZBp0t)

89 Sons of bitches think a new trade deal is needed?
Fuck 'em. We still haven't recovered from the last
one. Here's some stats:

Labor economist Clyde Prestowitz attributes 60 percent of the U.S.’ 5.7 million manufacturing jobs lost over the last decade to import-driven trade imbalances.

According to the BLS’s seasonally adjusted employment numbers, employment in the U.S. manufacturing sector hit a peak of 19,553,000 in June 1979. In April 2015, there were only 12,322,000 employed in the manufacturing sector. That is a decline of 7,231,000—or 37 percent.

Posted by: Name Withheld Upon Request at May 23, 2015 08:15 AM (xQX/f)

90 Ooooookay I didn't quite get the joke although I know it referred to Emma Sulkowicz, Mattress Girl, and her sexual proclivities.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 23, 2015 08:15 AM (1sJza)

91 tpp is probably a surrender treaty

ok we recognize your ownership of various Filipino islands and do whatever you want to Japan

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 08:15 AM (Cq0oW)

92 So I assume now that the US will be on the crap end of whatever we get out of this. And millions of jobs will disappear. And the LIVs will cheer. Posted by: Lady in Black at May 23, 2015 08:05 AM

There's no doubt in my mind that the pathetic shitweasels in Congress have been given ways to make a buck for themselves out of this. On top of winning Choom Boy's favor, it's all good for them.

Would be nice to think that this time the secrecy, back-door dealings and potential damage this "trade" bill will cause here in America would cause the Konservative Keyboard Kommandos to express serious displeasure and call for some kind of, you know, "action" to bring the felonious traitors in D.C. to a reckoning. Oh, yeah, that's gonna happen....

Posted by: MrScribbler at May 23, 2015 08:16 AM (P8YHq)

93 84 Posted by: Lady in Black at May 23, 2015 08:05 AM (yht2f)

Bitch Boner are not useless. They are the enemy.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 23, 2015 08:17 AM (St6BJ)

94 Bing search "bear not here hunting" (without the quotation marks).

Posted by: a bear talking to Jackie and Emma at May 23, 2015 08:18 AM (kivUY)

95 "Just a heads up. "

Can you share?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:19 AM (VPLuQ)

96 Face it. Blackmail makes more sense than any other explanation of why the Republicans are behaving this way.
Posted by: Obnoxious

That's my view too; it's almost like there are aliens - the Martian types - that have taken over. I keep waiting for them to pull the masks over their heads and say something like...

... SUCKERS!

Posted by: Daisy Cutter at May 23, 2015 08:22 AM (/XJFz)

97 Wow! It is a frenzy of activity here today; trash day, yard day, house cleaning day, maintenance day. Busy, busy, busy. Can't talk now, work to do, UV radiation to capture, sunburn to acquire. It's a miracle I tell ya!

Posted by: Lesslie Watchman at May 23, 2015 08:23 AM (nKepB)

98
The Federal Empire honors Representative Orange and Senator Turtle for their outstanding service to the Empire.

Posted by: eman at May 23, 2015 07:33 AM (MQEz6)

It's a good thing the Republicans won big in the 2014 election. That handed Barry a real set back for all of 3 seconds.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 23, 2015 08:24 AM (DiZBp)

99 dunno blackmail

just as likely he and they are onboard

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 08:25 AM (Cq0oW)

100 Right now the GOP is being run by the cronies.
They've subjugated the grass roots and are being run for gummint money
and gumint deals. That means playing with Obama the Pork King, and
Mitchie and John are up for it.

Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at May 23, 2015 08:09 AM (oVJmc)

Vidkun Quisling: What a bunch of sellouts

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 23, 2015 08:26 AM (DiZBp)

101
96 Face it. Blackmail makes more sense than any other explanation of why the Republicans are behaving this way.
Posted by: Obnoxious

That's my view too; it's almost like there are aliens - the Martian types - that have taken over. I keep waiting for them to pull the masks over their heads and say something like...

... SUCKERS!
Posted by: Daisy Cutter at May 23, 2015 08:22 AM (/XJFz)

Blackmail means that otherwise Turtle would be against what he is doing.

Why give him any credit.

Go for the simplest explanation: Turtle wants this because Turtle is a crook and high official in the Empire.

Posted by: eman at May 23, 2015 08:26 AM (MQEz6)

102 FenelonSpoke: "Ooooookay I didn't quite get the joke..."

That's probably to your credit! Mornin', FS.

Posted by: mindful webworker - gurgle at May 23, 2015 08:28 AM (ZjHNW)

103 And in non-boned news, it's graduation day for the Hudson High Class of 2015. If they're lucky, they won't have to put up with TFG as a speaker.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 23, 2015 08:28 AM (QiBX8)

104 Blackmail makes more sense than any other
explanation of why the Republicans are behaving this way. We don't
really care about the details. All we need to know is that it is bad
enough. Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 23, 2015 07:46 AM

Actually, I DO "care about the details."

If the Choom Gang were to have some really damaging evidence-of-crimes shit on, let's say, Teh Bitch and/or Boner (and damn near all the other Republican members of Congress?) then said members have no right to hold public office. They, like their Democrat "friends across the aisle," should be prosecuted and imprisoned for whatever dark misdeeds the Mocha Messiah is holding over their heads.

Of course President Historic First should lead the procession into the cells. His list of felonies would make Al Capone blush.

Posted by: MrScribbler at May 23, 2015 08:28 AM (P8YHq)

105 About blackmail, I was wondering about Stefanupgus's donation to the Clintons, for example.

I understand the timing was, Leave the Clintons, teach for a semester or two, get hired on by ABC, visit pedo-island with Bill, start making big donations, really start to put the Crypto Clintonista hat on....

Almost as if... He was compromised.

Makes me wonder how much of this is going on. It would be a hell of a spy novel, like the ones around Kim Philby and the ones about Soviets blackmailing/extorting Nuke plans in the 50's.

Deighton wouldn't have the balls to write that big. Flemming wouldn't put in the sordid detail.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 23, 2015 08:29 AM (t//F+)

106 86,
Yeah, a bit, but have a filter, so it's pretty good. Best part, though, is that I'm at least 15 plus minutes away from the nearest charbucks.

Posted by: anon a mouse at May 23, 2015 08:29 AM (C9pBZ)

107 95
"Just a heads up. "

Can you share?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:19 AM (VPLuQ)

NY Slime story basically said BSA to accept Ghey leaders. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Gates, on his own, has decided not to punish Blue State Council that have ghey leaders. That is simply the only news. The Board has not made any move to allow them, Gates simply has decided not to kick councils out that have them. That is a change, because he is not enforcing the rules. It not a big change, BUT it is a slippery slope.

PC is slipping into the BSA. They had a video at the Duty to God breakfast.

Guess what religion the video was about? Spoiler hint, the one the beheads Christians.

Posted by: Nip Sip at May 23, 2015 08:29 AM (M5Pt7)

108 it's not just the socialism though

they've got this idea about how the digital age is transforming work and eliminating industry as we know it and how this kind of trade treaty stuff is needful etc.

They're figuring sure a little pain and adjustment but can't hold back the future. maybe if they told people it'd go smoother i just doubt it

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at May 23, 2015 08:30 AM (Cq0oW)

109 105,
Fleming would describe the libations. In detail.

Posted by: anon a mouse at May 23, 2015 08:31 AM (C9pBZ)

110 School Decides Child Can Be Inspired by Jesus
Todd Starnes, Fox News
http://fxn.ws/1Rc8zkR

Somerset Academy issued a formal written apology to 12-year-old Mackenzie Fraiser late Friday for denying her the right to use a Bible verse in a class assignment.

School officials have now agreed to allow the sixth-grader to resubmit her original project, this time with her favorite Bible verse -- John 3:16 -- included....

h/t: Nickarama, Weasel Zippers

Posted by: mindful webworker - autodidacts' dad at May 23, 2015 08:37 AM (ZjHNW)

111 Haven't found a full list of Senators who went Full-Choom on us, but Breitbart reports that only four "Republicans" voted "no."

Ted Cruz wasn't one of them.

Was he away from work Running For President?

Seems to me the Great Conservative Hope is kinda ducking his real responsibilities these days. While drawing a paycheck, of course.

Posted by: MrScribbler at May 23, 2015 08:37 AM (P8YHq)

112 "That is a change, because he is not enforcing the rules. It not a big change, BUT it is a slippery slope.'

Thanks for the feedback.

And I do mean that.

Not to disagree, but that which is not rejected is accepted.

If a city posts "No Smoking" signs, but choses to not enforce the law, it accepts smoking.

If a city has laws against destruction of property, but fails to stop rioters, it accepts destruction of property.

If it against the policies to have gay leaders, but the leadership fails to enforce the rules, leadership accepts gay leaders.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:39 AM (VPLuQ)

113 Don't think these assholes are done with us yet. Next up on the hit
parade is the EPA's version of cap and trade, which will increase
electricity costs by 50% as soon as 2020.

That will go right along with the $15 hour in California big cities. 2020 is the effective date for the full 15.

Posted by: Colin at May 23, 2015 08:43 AM (rOQws)

114 Seems to me the Great Conservative Hope is kinda ducking his real responsibilities these days.

So he could be the fifth 'no' vote? I don't care what he does, we're (conservatives) not gonna get jack squat done until we have one of our own in the WH.

Posted by: Name Withheld Upon Request at May 23, 2015 08:44 AM (xQX/f)

115 If it against the policies to have gay leaders, but the leadership fails to enforce the rules, leadership accepts gay leaders.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:39 AM (VPLuQ)

I agree totally.

Posted by: Nip Sip at May 23, 2015 08:44 AM (M5Pt7)

116 And on a happier note-not related to Emma or the Secretary of State-here is my Gideons Bible story.

One weekend my family were at an amusement park in PA called Knoebels. It is an old fashioned family amusement park and has great wooden roller coasters (if you like that sort of thing) a nice wooden carousel and two "dark" rides I particularly like, a haunted house and an amusement "mine ride", because the area near there was once a mining area. It is surrounded by large old trees and what I appreciated was that they have a sign up saying "We reserve the right to ask people to remove tee shirts with offensive language". They have a some regulations about what you can wear in the large outside pool. No thongs, for instance. In the old days they used to have optional church services in an area off the park, and even now they have a sign noting the local church services. So they want for it to be wholesome atmosphere. If you go expecting spanking new stuff like Disney you'll be disappointed. If you like a family atmosphere that hearkens back to the old amusement park days you'll get it!

At any rate, the family Fenelon had spent the weekend there, and we came back early on a Sunday morning to the two churches I was serving at the time. I realized Sunday morning night I did not have my Bible with me, and I had wanted to look at Scripture on the way back. So at any rate, I was praying and expressing my frustration to God that I had stupidly left my Bible at home. "Gosh, I need a bible" I said to God When we were driving out of the parking lot I saw a book lying there. It was a Gideons Bible! I don't know if some irritated Atheist tossed it out of their room or someone dropped it by mistake, but I took it with me and I could look at Bible passages on the way to church. So that's my story of God's provision, for those that heaven't heard it before.�:^)

And here are some passages from that same Gideons Bible from the section in the beginning "Help In Time of need":

Peace in Time of Turmoil:

Isaiah 26: 3,4: Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.

Phillipians 4:6,7 Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Peace be with you and keep on praying!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 23, 2015 08:47 AM (1sJza)

117 PC rules! It never ends. I don't remember the NHL having a "diversity" plan.

http://tinyurl.com/l48b3kb

Posted by: Nip Sip at May 23, 2015 08:47 AM (M5Pt7)

118 "PC is slipping into the BSA. They had a video at the Duty to God breakfast.

Guess what religion the video was about? Spoiler hint, the one the beheads Christians."

I guess they were discussing where when the god of Islam, through Islam's Prophet directs the killing of Jews and Infidels, that Scouts should not have a sense of duty to that part?

It may seem that I'm on a tear about BSA, but Little VIA is on a Scout Whitewater rafting trip as we speak, and I was speaking with one of the leaders last night about the whole direction of Scouting.

Not too happy.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:49 AM (VPLuQ)

119 PC rules! It never ends. I don't remember the NHL having a "diversity" plan.

Not yet anyway. Right after the NBA has a white diversity plan.

Posted by: Colin at May 23, 2015 08:49 AM (rOQws)

120 I had an email exchange with a state legislator (R) recently. I had taken the opportunity to thank him for the most recent state version of failure theater, and that I thought I would decline to support it any more. He rather nastily said if I don't like the current super minority I shouldn't act to continue it next election cycle.

Silly man, how can we tell the difference anymore?

Posted by: Kindltot at May 23, 2015 08:49 AM (t//F+)

121 Le NOOD politic

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:51 AM (VPLuQ)

122
It may seem that I'm on a tear about BSA, but
Little VIA is on a Scout Whitewater rafting trip as we speak, and I was
speaking with one of the leaders last night about the whole direction of
Scouting.

Not too happy.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:49 AM (VPLuQ)
I am a major donor and Eagle scout. NOT happy at all. The powers to be will suffer my rage when I return to CLT.
Having a video about The ONE Mohammedan scout troop in the country, in NJ of course, was simply an insult.
NO PLEASED

Posted by: Nip Sip at May 23, 2015 08:52 AM (M5Pt7)

123 22 ... teej, Hope your knee gets better. You are so right about the Royals and baseball in general. I have hopes for a world series between the Royals and my Nationals. It would do my soul good to see the WS with mid-Atlantic and Midwest teams. Screw the northeast and left coast this time.

(Of course the Nats would win.)

Posted by: JTB at May 23, 2015 08:54 AM (FvdPb)

124 Now back, slowly, to the yard work before it gets too hot. See y'all on the gardening thread.

Posted by: JTB at May 23, 2015 08:56 AM (FvdPb)

125 Nip Sip

Thank you for your insight, and sharing your convictions.

Travel safe, and well.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 23, 2015 08:57 AM (VPLuQ)

126 I'm an Eagle Scout and just got an email from the Connecticut council. It was a carefully written load of fluff:

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
X-NONE
X-NONE

/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

In his remarks, Dr. Gates encouraged the Scouting family
to reflect in the days and months ahead on the challenges facing the BSA and
potential alternatives for addressing them. It would seem that Connecticut
Yankee Council'smembership policy is what he envisions, but it is
important to note that no decisions were made related to changes in the
national membership standards during the BSA National Annual Meeting.

I think they said something in there that there are Top Men considering important stuff.

Posted by: AE at May 23, 2015 09:10 AM (+ft6G)

127 I am so sorry. I ran it through to change to plain text too. My apologies

Posted by: AE at May 23, 2015 09:11 AM (+ft6G)

128 "104
Blackmail makes more sense than any other

explanation of why the Republicans are behaving this way. We don't

really care about the details. All we need to know is that it is bad

enough. Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 23, 2015 07:46 AM

Actually, I DO "care about the details."

If
the Choom Gang were to have some really damaging evidence-of-crimes
shit on, let's say, Teh Bitch and/or Boner (and damn near all the other
Republican members of Congress?) then said members have no right to hold
public office. They, like their Democrat "friends across the aisle,"
should be prosecuted and imprisoned for whatever dark misdeeds the Mocha
Messiah is holding over their heads.

Of course President Historic First should lead the procession into the cells. His list of felonies would make Al Capone blush.

Posted by: MrScribbler at May 23, 2015 08:28 AM (P8YHq)"

Trying to learn the details is a distraction from the essential business of getting rid of the compromised Republicans. They also have all the resources of the US government to block you from learning the details. In the end they can prevent you from finding the smoking gun evidence until after the election.

The important thing is that they need to be replaced by somebody who does not have the same vulnerability. After they are out of office, there is likely to be some tell all book that has all the details you want. You will be able to pick it up in the remainder bin for $3.00 because nobody will care at that point.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-Hole at May 23, 2015 09:13 AM (QHgTq)

129 116
If you like a family atmosphere that hearkens back to the old amusement park days you'll get it!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 23, 2015 08:47 AM (1sJza)

In that vein, somebody sent this to me and I linked it in an ONT the other night. It's a 1956 promotional video for Willow Grove Park near Philadelphia. It was a pretty historic amusement park in its time. John Philip Sousa used to play concerts there in the early decades of the 20th century. It was eventually torn down for a shopping mall in the 70s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfQedCO5izk

Posted by: rickl at May 23, 2015 09:53 AM (sdi6R)

130 I have a slightly different slant on the jeweler in Canada. It was not about a law, it was about a businessman deciding to put a message out there that offended certain customers.

Years ago in a small Texas town, a local grocer decided to support small independents against a large oil company in a civil lawsuit by printing messages on the paper bags. He lost half of his customers as the large oil company was the biggest employer in town.

When you publicize your opinion, you better know your customer base and how much of it you can lose. Feel free to proceed, but know that no matter what someone will be offended and stop shopping with you.

Posted by: Bruce Brown at May 23, 2015 09:56 AM (0cXCP)

Processing 0.02, elapsed 0.0287 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0094 seconds, 138 records returned.
Page size 87 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.