Monkey Saves Dying Friend Morning Thread

Feel good story of the day here.

Onlookers at a train station in northern India watched in awe as a monkey came to the rescue of an injured friend - resuscitating another monkey that had been electrocuted and knocked unconscious.

The injured monkey had fallen between the tracks, apparently after touching high-tension wires at the train station in the north Indian city of Kanpur.

His companion came to the rescue and was captured on camera lifting the friend's motionless body, shaking it, dipping it into a mud puddle and biting its head and skin - working until the hurt monkey regained consciousness.

Video below the fold.

Posted by: BenK at 08:16 AM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1
Good Morning and Happy Boxing Day!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at December 26, 2014 08:19 AM (jmIQu)

2 Well here we are...

Posted by: HH at December 26, 2014 08:19 AM (Ce4DF)

3 Monkey wasn't trained in CPR?

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 26, 2014 08:19 AM (yAC3X)

4 Yeah. December 26th. Divorced Dad's Christmas.

Posted by: redenzo at December 26, 2014 08:20 AM (WCnJW)

5 Nicaragua: civic organizations want protesters freed, 'Chinese invaders' out

Expropriation [for the Chinese canal] law upsets peasants, environmentalists. 30 arrested nationwide. President Daniel Ortega dubbed a 'traitor'.


http://preview.tinyurl.com/kdbdbs6

Posted by: Kindltot at December 26, 2014 08:22 AM (t//F+)

6 NOTE TO SELF: Broaden the distribution network for my new publication "Hands-Only CPR for Simians"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 08:23 AM (NeFrd)

7 Monkey deserves a Cabinet position...at least.

Posted by: BignJames at December 26, 2014 08:24 AM (ZNQKl)

8 Mmm, new thread smell.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 08:25 AM (zF6Iw)

9 Monkey to be the new head of HHS.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 26, 2014 08:26 AM (JO9+V)

10 That's just the way he rolls.

Posted by: Gmac- Pondering...something involving a Chinese invention that goes BOOM at December 26, 2014 08:27 AM (baiNQ)

11 The sad part is that that monkey shows more resourcefulness and concern than the majority of Americans could muster today.

And monkeys wouldn't stand around recording it on their cellphones.

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:28 AM (MMC8r)

12 You know what I don't understand about this video? Why was it filmed so well, from so many different angels, by so many non-shaking hands?

Posted by: Pastorius at December 26, 2014 08:28 AM (gMAUH)

13 If you turn up the volume, the electrocuted monkey clearly says, "To blave", which we all know means, "To bluff". So the monkeys were probably in a card game...

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 08:29 AM (NeFrd)

14 And the monkeys wouldn't riot.

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:30 AM (MMC8r)

15 12 You know what I don't understand about this video? Why was it filmed so well, from so many different angels, by so many non-shaking hands?
Posted by: Pastorius at December 26, 2014 08:28 AM (gMAUH)

Chemtrails......gotta be.

Posted by: BignJames at December 26, 2014 08:30 AM (ZNQKl)

16 Planet of the Apes, here we come.

I find this story a little disturbing, rather than a feel good, for some reason. I must be a speciesist.

....I guess I'm glad the dirty Indian vermin nuisance monkey is okay?

Posted by: Dollar Store Sock at December 26, 2014 08:31 AM (c+gwp)

17 A very nice video. https://www.youtube.com/embed/eee4-d7FUis

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at December 26, 2014 08:31 AM (BLFGI)

18 You know what I don't understand about this video? Why was it filmed so well, from so many different angels, by so many non-shaking hands?

Is it security cam footage?

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:31 AM (MMC8r)

19 Pretty darn good monkey. Didn't leave his buddy behind.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 26, 2014 08:31 AM (MMWhx)

20 Well #&+*@(%+"

So BenK also can't post a pic without bring teh tiny print.
Perhaps Y-not or DiT could give ace and the other cobs a quick lesson.

And I knew if I started typing lyrics I could bring up a new one.
It's at the bottom of the last thread.
Can't stick around, lucky you's guys.
Print even smaller than ONT.
Later

Posted by: teej says go K-State at December 26, 2014 08:31 AM (jGqoT)

21 Good Morning! time to get up and go. Those after Christmas sales aren't going to happen by themselves.

Posted by: Ms. M at December 26, 2014 08:32 AM (MBEYv)

22 "So you're conscious, eh? Good! Now get back to your typewriter, you've got to finish the third act of Hamlet by midnight on the 31st!"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, Shakespearean monkey supervisor at December 26, 2014 08:35 AM (NeFrd)

23 A very nice video.

Let's get Bizet!

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:35 AM (MMC8r)

24 Is it security cam footage?

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:31 AM (MMC8r)

***


It's got some panning and zooming so probably not.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 08:36 AM (NeFrd)

25 Sure looks authentic, but yeah, you do kind of have to wonder about the seemingly professional filming.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 08:38 AM (7ObY1)

26 Monkey's gone to heaven.

Posted by: Pixies at December 26, 2014 08:40 AM (YCG8H)

27 22 "So you're conscious, eh? Good! Now get back to your typewriter, you've got to finish the third act of Hamlet by midnight on the 31st!"



Villein, I only let a monkey write Timon of Athens.

And now thou hast at last understood why that play sucketh so badly.

Posted by: Willy Shaespeare at December 26, 2014 08:40 AM (7ObY1)

28 Were Air Jordan's involved? What size does a monkey wear?

Posted by: dr kill at December 26, 2014 08:41 AM (ifjKw)

29 Now I have The Pixies earworm.

Could be worse. At least it's a good song.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 08:42 AM (7ObY1)

30

It's got some panning and zooming so probably not.


I assumed it was a monitored platform.

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:44 AM (MMC8r)

31 If soothie sees this he will go ape.

Posted by: fluffy at December 26, 2014 08:44 AM (Ua6T/)

32 >>>Pretty darn good monkey. Didn't leave his buddy behind.

Monkey's on got your back

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitt at December 26, 2014 08:51 AM (3ZtZW)

33 Watched a half hour of 'The Interview' last night. Shut it off. Might get back to it later.

From what I saw, Franco was unbelievably bad, so bad it's hard to evaluate the rest of the movie.

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:53 AM (MMC8r)

34 Marketing ploy for 'The Interview.'

Posted by: RWC - Almost time for Krampus!! at December 26, 2014 08:53 AM (fWAjv)

35 Maybe it's just me but it bugs me that "electrocuted" used to mean "KILLED by electricity" (you know- ELECTRO exeCUTED) and now it's been wussified to mean "hurt."

Posted by: Bat Chain Puller at December 26, 2014 08:54 AM (jpc8l)

36 Monkeys are the tree rats of Calcutta.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 26, 2014 08:54 AM (rwI+c)

37 I wonder what super powers the electrocuted monkey has now.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 26, 2014 08:55 AM (rwI+c)

38 Watch some monkey barrister come and sue the train for safeplace violations. Yeah, it all looks cute till the lawyers get involved.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 08:58 AM (l1zOH)

39 I can't breathe.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 26, 2014 08:59 AM (g1DWB)

40 The security cameras show about a dozen spectators having their pockets picket. By monkeys.

Posted by: Erowmero at December 26, 2014 09:01 AM (go5uR)

41 37 I wonder what super powers the electrocuted monkey has now.


Ha! Just think of the possibilities for MonkeyMan.

He could fling super-powered poo at bad guys.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 09:01 AM (7ObY1)

42 Posted by: teej says go K-State at December 26, 2014 08:31 AM (jGqoT)

Nice tune teej.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:02 AM (l1zOH)

43 I AM DYNAMO

Posted by: the monkey at December 26, 2014 09:02 AM (rwI+c)

44 Monkeys are the tree rats of Calcutta.

In Peruvia, they are a type of weasel.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:04 AM (zF6Iw)

45 You've got to shock the monkey.

Posted by: Robert Palmer at December 26, 2014 09:04 AM (LTX9P)

46 Damn, here I was getting all excited at the prospects of a nice thick monkey curry and then the little simian survives. No luck Friday it seems.

Posted by: fairweatherbill gatekeeper of pestilence at December 26, 2014 09:05 AM (wXD2C)

47 80s singer sock off...

Posted by: Phil Laicheaux at December 26, 2014 09:05 AM (LTX9P)

48 45 You've got to shock the monkey.
Posted by: Robert Palmer at December 26, 2014 09:04 AM (LTX9P

To life,
Posted by: Peter Gabriel

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:06 AM (l1zOH)

49 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:07 AM (kff5f)

50 Hope everyone had a merry Christmas yesterday (or day before yesterday, for our friends Down Under).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:07 AM (kff5f)

51 it is so boring here at work......

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:07 AM (l1zOH)

52 There should be a lawsuit or some other legal action involved. No way that monkey was properly trained and licensed.

Posted by: tsj017 at December 26, 2014 09:08 AM (4YUWF)

53 Monkey saves friend? I thought it was going to be a story about thugs.



I denounce myself.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:08 AM (0FSuD)

54 Crap, wrong singer. Thanks for the fix!

Posted by: Phil Laicheaux at December 26, 2014 09:08 AM (LTX9P)

55 it is so boring here at work......

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:07 AM (l1zOH)


Amen, brother.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:08 AM (zF6Iw)

56 Watched a half hour of 'The Interview' last night. Shut it off. Might get back to it later.

I'm willing to bet it would have done dismally in the Box Office all on its own. No NORK threat was necessary. If anything, the NORKs generated more interest in a movie that wouldn't even be remembered in 2 years' time.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:09 AM (kff5f)

57 54 Crap, wrong singer. Thanks for the fix!
Posted by: Phil Laicheaux at December 26, 2014 09:08 AM (LTX9P

Who knows, maybe the monkey is addicted to love, monkey style.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:09 AM (l1zOH)

58 it is so boring here at work......

You want to write these Communication and Integration tests (and test fixtures) for me? It's tedious, but at least it's something to do...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:10 AM (kff5f)

59 If "The Interview" ends up as the prototype for the direct release of movies, I will call it the greatest movie ever even if it is a steaming pile of crap.

Posted by: no good deed at December 26, 2014 09:10 AM (w3a0Z)

60 You want to write these Communication and Integration tests (and test fixtures) for me? It's tedious, but at least it's something to do...
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:10 AM (kff5f

considering i have no idea what you are talking about, do you really want me taking tests for you????? Besides, you just got this new job you don't need to be losing it on my account.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:11 AM (l1zOH)

61 Five little monkeys jumping on a bed,
one touched the catenary and dropped dead,
four little monkeys jumping on a bed...

Posted by: fairweatherbill gatekeeper of pestilence at December 26, 2014 09:11 AM (wXD2C)

62 Also, I'm pleased to announce success (and a very few leftovers) on the smoked brisket.

I learned some technique details I hadn't known before, too (I had to finish it in the oven for the last hour because I couldn't get enough heat in my smoker- I figured out how to overcome that too late).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:12 AM (kff5f)

63 considering i have no idea what you are talking about, do you really want me taking tests for you????? Besides, you just got this new job you don't need to be losing it on my account.

Huh. I'll take that as a "maybe."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:12 AM (kff5f)

64 Monkey saves friend?

I thought it was going to be a thug story.


I denounce myself.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:13 AM (0FSuD)

65 Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:13 AM (0FSuD)

That's some high-stakes tightrope walking right there, my friend.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:13 AM (kff5f)

66 Yeah, we heard that the first time, Nip Sip. We were all to polite to comment, that is all.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 26, 2014 09:14 AM (FG1UN)

67 I didn't jump, I was pushed!

Posted by: the monkey at December 26, 2014 09:14 AM (rwI+c)

68 #monkeylivesmatter

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 09:14 AM (XzRw1)

69 I have to say, watching the whole video, that monkey does not appear to be attempting to resuscitate his friend. He appears to be trying to finish the job, going through his pockets for loose change all the while.

A hit monkey if you will.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 09:14 AM (NeFrd)

70 *too* polite

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 26, 2014 09:14 AM (FG1UN)

71
Huh. I'll take that as a "maybe."
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26,

Sure, send 'em this way.

I also got a new smoker. I have the heat thing down, I just don't have the "smoke" thing down yet with 2 different food runs and a couple of practice runs.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:14 AM (l1zOH)

72 "The Interview"


I reviewed y'day but I'll recap. First hour made me giggle quite a bit. Second hour not so much. Movie was too long. They could have cut a lot out and been just fine.

Not total crap but not a classic either.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 26, 2014 09:15 AM (MMWhx)

73 Bored bored bored.

One manager here but he won't be here for long.

Think I'll order up a keg and some dancing girls later on.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 09:16 AM (7ObY1)

74 I have an electric smoker that works pretty well for flavor but it is easier to finish the meat in the oven.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 26, 2014 09:16 AM (rwI+c)

75 My brother and I streamed (free) The Interview yesterday. It was alright as far as dumb vulgar comedies go, but certainly nothing groundbreaking. No Team America, but it had its moments. The guy who plays Kim Jong Un is very good.

Posted by: mugiwara at December 26, 2014 09:16 AM (06U11)

76 We caught it the first time Nipster. You better sleep off your drunk from last night.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:16 AM (l1zOH)

77 #handsuphighvoltage

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:16 AM (zF6Iw)

78 Opps. Double post. Firefox crashed on me and they came back? I guess the new CCCleaner must have killed it?

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:17 AM (0FSuD)

79 Sort of brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "Monkey see, monkey do".

Actually it doesn't, I just didn't have anything clever to say.

Posted by: Mega at December 26, 2014 09:17 AM (hHFOx)

80 >>>>The guy who plays Kim Jong Un is very good.

Was he hungry all the time?

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitt at December 26, 2014 09:17 AM (3ZtZW)

81 "Listen up youse dirty monkey. Where'd youse hide da bananas, see? If you don't talk, I'll rough youse up some more. I'll grind your organ!"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 09:18 AM (NeFrd)

82 @76


ha ha. I am actually feeling rather good this morning. It's early.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:18 AM (0FSuD)

83 "The guy who plays Kim Jong Un is very good."


Yes, he was.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 26, 2014 09:18 AM (MMWhx)

84 I've only seen the trailer, but the guy who plays KJ-u does look like he nailed it.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 09:18 AM (7ObY1)

85 I just don't have the "smoke" thing down yet with 2 different food runs and a couple of practice runs.

I've never had problems with the smoke, but I use mesquite which is very, very good for smoking.

My understanding is that if you're going to use charcoal (for heat) and a wood like hickory or apple for the smoke, you want to soak the wood chunks for a good 8 - 12 hours (or you use a whole lot of wood chunks) to make sure you get the most smoke out of them.

I don't have to worry about that with mesquite- it burns for quite a while all on its own. My smoke ring was a good 1/4 inch all the way around once we cut the brisket.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:20 AM (kff5f)

86 At the 0:35 second mark the water-boarding begins.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 09:22 AM (NeFrd)

87 When I see a computer trying to resuscitate another one that has been unplugged I'll worry about artificial intelligence.

Posted by: An Observation at December 26, 2014 09:23 AM (ylhEn)

88 I don't have to worry about that with mesquite- it burns for quite a while all on its own. My smoke ring was a good 1/4 inch all the way around once we cut the brisket.
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:20 AM (kff5f

Sounds delicious. Mine is an electric on with a pan and cover for wood chips. The instructions state that the chips are to be soaked. Can't get enough smoke. Went dry chips, smoke is better. Going with a finer chip/saw dust next time and see where it goes. My smoker is pretty air tight.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:23 AM (l1zOH)

89 When I see a computer trying to resuscitate another one that has been unplugged I'll worry about artificial intelligence.

"Clear!"




Has a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:26 AM (kff5f)

90 Monkey vid strangely reminded me of college days, "helping" my friends after parties . . .
Minus the post-CPR parasite grooming . . .

Posted by: Far Post at December 26, 2014 09:26 AM (6srcI)

91 74 it is easier to finish the meat in the oven.

Heh-heh... heh-heh-heh

Posted by: Beavis at December 26, 2014 09:26 AM (jpc8l)

92 Posted by: Bat Chain Puller at December 26, 2014 08:54 AM (jpc8l)


I'm shocked by this language misuse, shocked I tell you!

Posted by: CPT Renault at December 26, 2014 09:27 AM (fL/7/)

93 When I see a computer trying to resuscitate another one that has been unplugged I'll worry about artificial intelligence.
============

LAUGH WHILE YOU CAN MONKEY BOY

Posted by: Colossus at December 26, 2014 09:27 AM (FFqaj)

94
Hello again from Way Down Here where it's Saturday in Sydney ..

Bedtime here, and I didn't realise how late it was because I've spent the last hour trying to get a Twitter account with no success

Mama AJ posted a nice kitty pic on Twitter, so I thought I could do that too

Twitter does not want me it seems

There was no way I could verify my email account according to the Twitter people, kept on getting redirected to posting another email account - I don't have another bloody account !

Good night everyone, and have a lovely yesterday - I'll leave you with this article on the start of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race - gorgeous pics of this beautiful city!

http://goo.gl/0rzbEF

Posted by: aussie at December 26, 2014 09:28 AM (b/1aA)

95 Good morning and good night Aussie.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:30 AM (vPh3W)

96 That monkey there was only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:30 AM (mx5oN)

97 91 74 it is easier to finish the meat in the oven.

Heh-heh... heh-heh-heh
Posted by: Beavis at December 26, 2014 09:26 AM (jpc8l)

Better him than me!

Posted by: The Toaster at December 26, 2014 09:31 AM (mx5oN)

98 So the monkey was not dead-dead?

Posted by: The Guy who asks about dead and near dead monkeys at December 26, 2014 09:32 AM (zLOJ1)

99 Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:30 AM (mx5oN)

But monkeys don't have pockets wherein they can carry loose change.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:32 AM (kff5f)

100 97 91 74 it is easier to finish the meat in the oven.

Heh-heh... heh-heh-heh
Posted by: Beavis at December 26, 2014 09:26 AM (jpc8l)

Better him than me!
Posted by: The Toaster at December 26, 2014 09:31 AM (mx5oN)


Really?
Posted by: The Couch F*cker

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:32 AM (vPh3W)

101 96
That monkey there was only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:30 AM (mx5oN)

So now there is a dead dead, rape rape?
It's hard to keep up.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:33 AM (0FSuD)

102 I hope every Moron had a wonderful Christmas, got everything they wanted, and had plenty of libations (but not TOO much)!

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:33 AM (mx5oN)

103 I wonder if that monkey had one of those Near Death Experiences and saw the Other Side and what form that took? Maybe bananas everywhere? And 72 presenting females in estrus, if he's a muzzie monkey.

Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitt at December 26, 2014 09:34 AM (3ZtZW)

104 103 I wonder if that monkey had one of those Near Death Experiences and saw the Other Side and what form that took? Maybe bananas everywhere? And 72 presenting females in estrus, if he's a muzzie monkey.
Posted by: Bigby's Oven Mitt at December 26, 2014 09:34 AM (3ZtZW)

Goats.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:35 AM (mx5oN)

105
So now there is a dead dead, rape rape?
It's hard to keep up.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:33 AM (0FSuD)

Love the one you're with.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:35 AM (vPh3W)

106
OW! Dammit, I thought I told you not to bit me! Sh!t that hurts!

Wut? I should be grateful or something? after you dragged me thru the mud?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at December 26, 2014 09:36 AM (VvOZ5)

107 105
So now there is a dead dead, rape rape?
It's hard to keep up.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:33 AM (0FSuD)

Love the one you're with.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:35 AM (vPh3W)

Do do do do do do do-do!

Do do do do do do do-do!

Do do do do do do do-do!

Do-do-do! Do-do-do!

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:36 AM (mx5oN)

108 They misinterpreted the monkeys actions. He was really mugging the unconscious simian.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at December 26, 2014 09:37 AM (3jmxp)

109 Obviously, the monk owed his friend some money or he'd have just left him to become monkey kabob.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:38 AM (zF6Iw)

110 It's not what it seems. That one monkey owed the other 10 million rupees.

Posted by: Martel the Hammer at December 26, 2014 09:38 AM (EWQg3)

111 Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:36 AM (mx5oN)

You, sir, are a terrible American.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:38 AM (zF6Iw)

112 When I see a computer trying to resuscitate another one that has been unplugged I'll worry about artificial intelligence.

Daystrom Institute M-5.

Posted by: Fox2! at December 26, 2014 09:38 AM (brIR5)

113 I saw Unconscious Simian open for The 1910 Fruitgum Company at Bay Village in '68.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:39 AM (zF6Iw)

114 When I see a computer trying to resuscitate another one that has been unplugged I'll worry about artificial intelligence.

I am so stealing that line.

Posted by: JimK at December 26, 2014 09:39 AM (KQHmI)

115 The big question has to be motivation here. Would the monkey have saved an orangutang? I have my doubts. I call specieism on this.

Posted by: Chimpster A Arthur at December 26, 2014 09:40 AM (zLOJ1)

116 I denounce myself.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:13 AM (0FSuD)

It was borderline the first time.

Any reason to repeat it?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 09:41 AM (Zu3d9)

117 Monkey zombies necessitate headshots too.

Posted by: Zoombieland at December 26, 2014 09:41 AM (FGEvF)

118 111 Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:36 AM (mx5oN)

You, sir, are a terrible American.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:38 AM (zF6Iw)

Hey, the moment you brought that up that song got stuck in my head. The only caring and responsible thing to do was share.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:42 AM (mx5oN)

119 Morning folks, hope you had a nice Christmas.

Posted by: Heralder at December 26, 2014 09:43 AM (/Mxso)

120
Good news, everyone. Republicans look to use their new Senate majority to easily confirm The O's historic first AG pick Loretta Lynch.

http://tinyurl.com/oapcavm

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 26, 2014 09:43 AM (kdS6q)

121 @116

Yeah, see my post around 78. Firefox crashed and when I rebooted, I assumed the first post did not post.


So I posted it again.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:43 AM (0FSuD)

122 I think this is one of those relationship issues gone bad. Kind of a Ray Rice scenario all over again. First he tries to kill her, then he's dragging her around. Next thing you know they're kissing. I wonder if Roger Goodell has more video of this incident that he's not showing?

Posted by: fairweatherbill gatekeeper of pestilence at December 26, 2014 09:43 AM (wXD2C)

123 Good news, everyone. Republicans look to use their new Senate majority to easily confirm The O's historic first AG pick Loretta Lynch.

Yep. That's *exactly* the news I wanted to start my Boxing Day.

Which, I hear, is a Kangaroo's favorite holiday.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:45 AM (kff5f)

124 120

Good news, everyone. Republicans look to use their new Senate
majority to easily confirm The O's historic first AG pick Loretta Lynch.

Sweet. Best of luck to them in the coming years.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 09:45 AM (XzRw1)

125
And Republicans are repelling in horror from state level tax reform, because they would to like have to cut spending and stuff:

http://tinyurl.com/nageb2q

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 26, 2014 09:45 AM (kdS6q)

126 @120

So now we are going to racist AG II. Her dad was a fire brand preacher and she carries the torch.



God help up.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:46 AM (0FSuD)

127 Good news, everyone. Republicans look to use their new Senate majority to easily confirm The O's historic first AG pick Loretta Lynch.

Of course.

But we just had to vote for them to keep the country from falling completely into the hands of the left, remember?

As Grandfather Poppins used to say, "if voting could really change anything, it would be illegal."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:46 AM (zF6Iw)

128 I could help out with the shock part

just sayin'

Posted by: Michael Vick at December 26, 2014 09:46 AM (3ZtZW)

129
11 The sad part is that that monkey shows more resourcefulness and concern than the majority of Americans could muster today.

And monkeys wouldn't stand around recording it on their cellphones.
Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 08:28 AM (MMC8r)


True dat.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at December 26, 2014 09:47 AM (bWFHa)

130 What could possibly go wrong with a Republican House and Senate? At the very least they'll rein in Obama's excesses!




Oh wait, you mean the Republican leaders are Boehner and McConnell, forget about, we won't even get Democrat-lite results with them in charge!

Posted by: Hrothgar at December 26, 2014 09:47 AM (fL/7/)

131 This strategy to solve the nursing shortage could crown me top banana in 2016.

Posted by: Coco Biden at December 26, 2014 09:49 AM (FGEvF)

132 Touching video of a dog saving the life of a friend: http://youtu.be/R4vpXS5BKyc

Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at December 26, 2014 09:50 AM (MbqmP)

133 So I posted it again.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 09:43 AM (0FSuD)

Keep it up.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 09:50 AM (Zu3d9)

134 Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 26, 2014 09:43 AM (kdS6q)


Thanks to GOPe and RNC treachery, I was denied a Republican Senator, but I guess that's OK, because it wouldn't have been allowed to make a difference!

Posted by: Hrothgar at December 26, 2014 09:51 AM (fL/7/)

135
And in unreservedly good news:

A man angry at American Airlines employees for wishing passengers "Merry Christmas" as they boarded was kicked off a plane. The unidentified flyer was boarding a flight from New York's LaGuardia Airport to Dallas on Tuesday morning when the gate agent checking boarding passes greeted him with the well-worn phrase, NYPost.com reported.

After barking at the employee that not everyone celebrates the holiday and continuing toward the jet, the cranky traveler was met by a flight attendant who also wished him a "Merry Christmas," the report said. The man then began "lecturing" the pilot and flight attendants, refusing to clam down.

When he was removed from the flight, other passengers clapped and cheered, the Post said.



Ho ho ho.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 26, 2014 09:52 AM (kdS6q)

136
As to "The Interview", I have seen nothing put out yet by those two schmoes who star in it worthy of pissing on should it catch fire, so why should this be any different?

The cultural icons of Millennials are a pathetic lot of poseurs and hacks.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at December 26, 2014 09:52 AM (bWFHa)

137 Nope, we're gonna get just about what we expected; full-court press of transforming America, now New and Improved With Miracle Ingredient Bipartisanship !

G'mornin everyone !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 26, 2014 09:52 AM (go6ud)

138
123 AllenG

"Yep. That's *exactly* the news I wanted to start my Boxing Day.

Which, I hear, is a Kangaroo's favorite holiday"

I've said goodnight, but I can't sleep just yet....the latest boxing kangaroo video...posted this a few days ago, and it's rather good - Roo V Drone


http://goo.gl/TXrTgW

Posted by: aussie at December 26, 2014 09:53 AM (b/1aA)

139 Nip, as a "friend" watch it.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:53 AM (vPh3W)

140
When he was removed from the flight, other passengers clapped and cheered, the Post said.

Ho ho ho.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 26, 2014 09:52 AM (kdS6q)


They should have given Mr. Scrooge the special wheel well seat...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at December 26, 2014 09:54 AM (bWFHa)

141 From the "tax cutting" article

Now, Republicans are rethinking how aggressive they can be on taxes in light of the projected $279 million revenue gap that's plaguing Kansas this year - shortfalls that resulted in the state's credit rating being downgraded and nearly booted the Republican from office in a state that bleeds red.

Of course, Republicans aren't ditching supply-side economic theory or tax cuts. But they're considering ways to avoid Kansas' troubles. Their takeaways include smaller cuts over extended periods of time, stopgaps to protect revenues - and avoiding overpromising.


I notice that none of their remedies seem to include "reduce the size and scope of government" or "provide fewer services."

Funny about that. It's almost as if they *like* State Control of our lives...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:54 AM (kff5f)

142 So now we are going to racist AG II. Her dad was a fire brand preacher and she carries the torch.

I thought he was a coal miner.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 09:54 AM (mx5oN)

143
OK, sleep time Down Under...

Have a wonderful yesterday everyone!

Posted by: aussie at December 26, 2014 09:54 AM (b/1aA)

144 Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at December 26, 2014 09:50 AM (MbqmP)


Some people gots way too much time on dey hands!

Posted by: Hrothgar at December 26, 2014 09:54 AM (fL/7/)

145 >>>New and Improved With Miracle Ingredient Bipartisanship !
-------

Is that anything like Miracle Whip? I hate Miracle Whip.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:54 AM (vPh3W)

146 Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 26, 2014 09:52 AM (kdS6q)

THAT may be the "feel-good story of the day."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:56 AM (kff5f)

147 'night, Aussie.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:56 AM (zF6Iw)

148 I thought the local sewage plant blew up this morning, then I realized it was only the GOP shitting on my head. Again.


Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 09:56 AM (XzRw1)

149 Hmmm... I really hope I'm not the only one here today... but it's looking more and more like that's going to be the case...

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:57 AM (kff5f)

150 149 Hmmm... I really hope I'm not the only one here today... but it's looking more and more like that's going to be the case...
Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:57 AM (kff5f

There are 2 people in our dept at the home office and me out here in the hinterlands.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:58 AM (vPh3W)

151 Speaking of monkeys, I keep hitting "refresh" like a crack-starved simian.

There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:59 AM (zF6Iw)

152 I AM HERE FOR YOU ALLENG!!

Posted by: AL SHARPIE at December 26, 2014 09:59 AM (JdEZJ)

153 There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?

You like getting paid and you didn't have PTO to use?

That's my excuse.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:00 AM (kff5f)

154 Hey,the president has a right to fill his cabinet with who he wants.The Dems will reciprocate,right?

Posted by: steevy at December 26, 2014 10:00 AM (v5UtH)

155
There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014

You want to be a top 10 Commenter?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 10:00 AM (vPh3W)

156 Putin Cancels New Year's Holiday for Government Workers


Putin/_____ 2016!

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 10:00 AM (XzRw1)

157 Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 09:56 AM (XzRw1)


The way I tell the difference is that when the sewage plant blows up and covers me in excrement, I feel cleaner!

Posted by: Hrothgar at December 26, 2014 10:01 AM (fL/7/)

158 You like getting paid and you didn't have PTO to use?
That's my excuse.


Oh, I've got plenty of time. But nobody to cover for me. Except for Monday, which will be nice. And I do like getting paid.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:01 AM (zF6Iw)

159 >>>There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?

They don't pay you to stay home, basically.

Posted by: Bigby's Helpful Hands at December 26, 2014 10:02 AM (3ZtZW)

160 So reading more of that tax cutting article, it's not quite as bad as it seems (I'm still on the side of "cut government" though).

Looks like Kansas misjudged the Laffer Curve, and simultaneously assumed more business generation from tax cuts. So they slashed their income tax rate (and exempted a whole bunch of businesses entirely- which not only shrinks the rate, but (more importantly) the tax base), but assumed that they could continue with the same spending.

Oops.

Frankly, were I in Kansas, that wouldn't hurt my feelings too much- and I'd be telling my State Rep "you don't have enough money? Fine, cut spending."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:03 AM (kff5f)

161 159 >>>There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?

They don't pay you to stay home, basically.
Posted by: Bigby's Helpful Hands at December 26, 2014 10:02 AM (3ZtZW)

They pay me to stay home and work......and I'm out of work. Sort of. Or at least enthusiasm.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 10:03 AM (vPh3W)

162 Don't know what I'm going to do today, but whatever it is, it will be done in...

Brand New Underwear.

Posted by: jwest at December 26, 2014 10:04 AM (vwlGK)

163 I don't know ... looks like the way Ace treats hobo's.

Posted by: Paladin at December 26, 2014 10:04 AM (3nP4h)

164 They pay me to stay home and work......and I'm out of work. Sort of. Or at least enthusiasm.

The last person on my team to come in normally gets in around 10. If he's not here then, I'm leaving and "working from home" for the rest of the day.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:04 AM (kff5f)

165 Oh, I've got plenty of time. But nobody to cover for me.


Yep, my situation too.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:04 AM (7ObY1)

166 139
Nip, as a "friend" watch it.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 09:53 AM (vPh3W)

I did denounce myself! ha ha.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 10:05 AM (0FSuD)

167 There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 09:59 AM (zF6Iw)

Same here. We normally have 40 or so people in the office. Today, it's six.

Even my long-term projects are done.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at December 26, 2014 10:05 AM (vgIRn)

168 Jeb Bush eases out of some businesses, such as firm helped by Obamacare


LA Times hit piece. Kind of.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 10:05 AM (XzRw1)

169 They don't pay you to stay home, basically.

I know. The problem is that any work today won't come in until around 11.00, and then in short bursts that I can dash off in minutes. But (touch wood), I'll be able to leave around 1.30 - 2.00. I won't be back on a regular work day routine until the 5th of January.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:05 AM (zF6Iw)

170 >>> Hmmm... I really hope I'm not the only one here today... but it's looking more and more like that's going to be the case...

Be sure to email your manager about an involved technical issue some time today.

Posted by: fluffy at December 26, 2014 10:06 AM (Ua6T/)

171 Morning, Glories!

Slept late. Feel great. Two consequences of having a grand Christmas feast at the kids' place. Also, in the morning, the after party mess is elsewhere!

Anybody send out a search party for Vic? Entering start-to-be-concerned territory.

Posted by: mindful webworker - inn the aftermath at December 26, 2014 10:06 AM (UOsvH)

172 Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 09:20 AM (kff5f)

Oak works pretty well for both heat and smoke as well. It takes very little charcoal when I use a couple good sized chunks of oak (the trick is getting the oak started well enough at the beginning).

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at December 26, 2014 10:06 AM (GDulk)

173 @170

JEF let the Feds off today. Tell your boss, I am sure he'll understand.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 10:07 AM (0FSuD)

174 As Grandfather Poppins used to say, "if voting could really change anything, it would be illegal."


Now that is so very, very true. I have a feeling I'll be borrowing Grandfather Poppins' saying.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:07 AM (7ObY1)

175
Be sure to email your manager about an involved technical issue some time today.
Posted by: fluffy at December 26, 2014 10:06 AM (Ua6T/

Great advice. Mine will call sometime today just to see if I'm in. He's so predictable.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 10:07 AM (vPh3W)

176 I cannot say with confidence what that monkey exchange represents.
I can tell you what it doesn't, though.

It sure as hell ain't the Story of Obama.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 26, 2014 10:07 AM (xq1UY)

177 Greetings, pixel people.

So, today is Mike Tyson's birfday?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 26, 2014 10:08 AM (0HooB)

178 159 >>>There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?

They don't pay you to stay home, basically.

Posted by: Bigby's Helpful Hands at December 26, 2014 10:02 AM (3ZtZW)



That's pretty much why I'm here.

In other news, my checkup went well this morning. I won't find out the bloodwork results until Monday, but the doctor seemed happy with everything else.

Posted by: rickl at December 26, 2014 10:09 AM (zoehZ)

179 I'm trying to think if I ever worked Boxing Day in the US. It seems I must have.

Quietest work day of the year though, the day after Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 26, 2014 10:09 AM (AC0lD)

180 Work just called. We're short staffed today (my shocked face). Guess who gets to double shift?

Note to self...don't answer the phone the day after a holiday.

Posted by: fairweatherbill gatekeeper of pestilence at December 26, 2014 10:09 AM (wXD2C)

181 Be sure to email your manager about an involved technical issue some time today.

Got that covered. Without delving into the pigdin Swahili, I'm working on a code base that has almost no valid test coverage. So I'm fixing that. But to fix that, I have to do a lot of research into how the code currently works, which means not a lot of coding necessarily gets done.

In fact, between posting here, I'm trying to figure out how to generate a fake instance of our core business object (for other developers out there- it has to be more than a "Fake" or a "Mock" because I have to be able to do anything to it the system might be able to do, but for testing purposes, I have to be able simply to assert it's existence in a given state. Fun work really, with some stretches of sheer tedium).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:09 AM (kff5f)

182 His companion came to the rescue... until the hurt monkey regained consciousness.
No one ever does that for me.

Posted by: the chicken at December 26, 2014 10:09 AM (CSXsy)

183 176 I cannot say with confidence what that monkey exchange represents.
I can tell you what it doesn't, though.

It sure as hell ain't the Story of Obama.
Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 26, 2014 10:07 AM (xq1UY)

Leave it alone Nip

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 10:09 AM (vPh3W)

184 @172 Know how Jack Daniel's starts the oak for their charcoal?

They soak it in Jack Daniel's.
There are good reasons for this, but it still draws the odd joke or two.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at December 26, 2014 10:10 AM (xq1UY)

185 SHIT. This new firefox doesn't have a menu bar.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 10:10 AM (0FSuD)

186 This new firefox doesn't have a menu bar.

Meh. It wouldn't work at the HQ anyway.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:11 AM (kff5f)

187
Electrocution is the monkey version of roofies.


That was a rape!

Posted by: All Fymynysts Everywhere at December 26, 2014 10:11 AM (KBvAm)

188 182 His companion came to the rescue... until the hurt monkey regained consciousness.
No one ever does that for me.
Posted by: the chicken at December 26, 2014 10:09 AM (CSXsy)

I try to be long gone before you regain consciousness.

Posted by: Bill Cosby at December 26, 2014 10:11 AM (vgIRn)

189 Podcast archive won't open???

Posted by: Jeff Miller at December 26, 2014 10:11 AM (S4Gzv)

190 Honestly, I've got plenty to do

I'm just not doing it

Well, paperwork. Blech. I do have 2 field visits lined up so maybe I'll visit a sale somewhere on lunch...

Posted by: Bigby's Helpful Hands at December 26, 2014 10:13 AM (3ZtZW)

191 MH True dat. That's not my post, not my nic.

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 10:13 AM (0FSuD)

192 >>> Podcast archive won't open???

We can't do anything about it except bitch in solidarity.

Posted by: fluffy at December 26, 2014 10:13 AM (Ua6T/)

193 From that day forward, all the other monkeys called him, "Buzz."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 26, 2014 10:14 AM (0HooB)

194 Didn't Bitch In Solidarity open for Sinead O'Connor at Lilith Fair in '95?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:14 AM (zF6Iw)

195 191 MH True dat. That's not my post, not my nic.
Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 10:13 AM (0FSuD)

Oh I know that, just didn't want you to comment and get into anymore hot water.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 10:15 AM (vPh3W)

196 My husband said there are five people present in an office of 32. He's cleaning off his desk and credenza and is glad he went in for the quiet time. He's going to treat the staff to pizza and then let them knock off at three.

Posted by: Dollar Store Sock at December 26, 2014 10:16 AM (c+gwp)

197 35 Maybe it's just me but it bugs me that "electrocuted" used to mean "KILLED by electricity" (you know- ELECTRO exeCUTED) and now it's been wussified to mean "hurt."

Which brings up a couple of oddities: when sentenced to hang, it was "to hang until dead." I'm pretty that first snap of the rope should do it, but...also, I believe one can drown w/out dying.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at December 26, 2014 10:18 AM (5buP8)

198 FARC Christmas message calls for end to military operations against them

The Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) sent a Christmas message to President Juan Manuel Santos [of Colombia] and military officers demanding that all military operations against them be stopped. Wounded soldier to be released.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/l3ahrxo

Posted by: Kindltot at December 26, 2014 10:19 AM (t//F+)

199 >>>>From that day forward, all the other monkeys called him, "Buzz."

Also, worshipped as a god by millions of hindus who offer him milk at various smelly gatherings.

Posted by: Bigby's Helpful Hands at December 26, 2014 10:19 AM (3ZtZW)

200 The Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) sent a Christmas message to President Juan Manuel Santos [of Colombia] and military officers demanding that all military operations against them be stopped. Wounded soldier to be released.

Unless their Christmas message also included the phrase "We surrender" my response would be: "Merry Christmas. Go f*ck yourselves."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:22 AM (kff5f)

201
There is nothing to do today. Why am I even here?
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing




The alternative is you take the day off, and behind your back someone, usually management, does an end run around standard procedures, because "emergency you guys!" and now you get to spend endless hours "just cleaning up the paperwork."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at December 26, 2014 10:23 AM (kdS6q)

202 Well, Happy Boxing day. Just hanging around waiting for my servants to come by and pick up their boxes.




http://tinyurl.com/7d47wnz

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 10:23 AM (0FSuD)

203 Buzz's favorite time of year was Halloween when he'd dress up as Uncle Fester, complete with lightbulb.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 26, 2014 10:23 AM (0HooB)

204 OK Imma go bother people

Posted by: Bigby's Helpful Hands at December 26, 2014 10:24 AM (3ZtZW)

205 I should clarify that last one.

I don't know enough about Colombia to know if FARC are the "good guys" or "bad guys." That was a more general: "Hey, y'all are the rebels here. I'm not obligated to stop killing you and release any prisoners at any point, and certainly not before you have laid down your own arms."

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:24 AM (kff5f)

206 The distinction is probably because they also used to sentence crims (traitors usually IIRC) to be hanged by the neck and then be cut down and then tortured correctively-punished some more like being disemboweled.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 10:24 AM (CSXsy)

207 FARC makes demands. - Taking their cues from Occupy Furgeson?

Posted by: mindful webworker - diplo matt at December 26, 2014 10:25 AM (Yzubb)

208 Which brings up a couple of oddities: when sentenced to hang, it was "to hang until dead." I'm pretty that first snap of the rope should do it


That one has an explanation. Really bad crimes were punished by hanging, then cutting them down still alive, followed by drawing and quartering or removing their entrails and casting them into a fire before their still-dying eyes.

So, hanging "until they were dead" had to be specified.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:27 AM (7ObY1)

209 Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 10:24 AM (CSXsy)

Yep. Hanging as a punishment existed before the concept of short-drop v long-drop ever did. Often you'd be lifted in the air by the noose- so it was a form of strangulation.

So you'd be "hanged by the neck" and the amount of time could vary. See the execution scene of Braveheart for one example. I believe (though I'm not sure about this) that you could also receive lesser punishments- sort of an "if you survive this, you'll have paid your debt to society" sort of thing.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 10:27 AM (kff5f)

210 I liked the way my old Kindle Paperwhite displayed book covers on my home page (the book covers of books I've downloaded).

My new Kindle Paperwhite does not. What am I doing incorrectly or did they remove that feature on the new KPW?

I know one of you will know this, I have faith!

Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 10:28 AM (A98Xu)

211 Hey! WHO'S BEEN FUCKING BITING ME?@!

Posted by: Electro-Monkey at December 26, 2014 10:29 AM (FcR7P)

212 Huh. For months I've thought that the lyrics to this ditty they play on the Sirius XM station at my gym went "it's Trump in stereo." Couldn't suss out what the hell that was supposed to mean. I thought it meant something in Ebonics.

Turns out the guy is singing "the trumpets they go..." (followed by trumpet riff.)

These crazy kids today with their rock and roll music, I tells ya.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:30 AM (7ObY1)

213 After eating our traditional Winter Solstice Dinner of beans and lentils,

my FARCs Occupied Wall Street and caused many MILFs to pass out.



Posted by: Official Obama Approved Revolutionary Humor at December 26, 2014 10:30 AM (KBvAm)

214 Just wait until he gets the bill for those emergency medical services.

Hopefully he has insurance coverage through Blue Ass/Blue Shield...

Posted by: THE TICK at December 26, 2014 10:30 AM (b+jgQ)

215 when sentenced to hang, it was "to hang until dead." I'm pretty that first snap of the rope should do it,

Usually, but if the hangman is incompetent or misjudges the distance of the drop, a condemned prisoner can strangle to death, which is what happened to the Lincoln assassin Lewis Powell.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:33 AM (zF6Iw)

216 That was a vampire monkey sucking his victims blood. In the mirror universe, monkey vampires only come out at day time

Posted by: Mirror Universe Monkey Romney at December 26, 2014 10:34 AM (zLOJ1)

217 Well, this is cheery. A discussion re hanging.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 10:34 AM (vPh3W)

218 The sad part is that that monkey shows more resourcefulness and concern than the majority of Americans could muster today.

And monkeys wouldn't stand around recording it on their cellphones.
Posted by: ---



One of them did.
Morning all.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 10:34 AM (H/5vA)

219 Can't Christine O'Donnell just cast some sort of a spell and unfreeze her bank accounts?



Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:35 AM (7ObY1)

220 217 Well, this is cheery. A discussion re hanging.



Stick around for the vivisection symposium.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:36 AM (7ObY1)

221 I saw Electro-Monkey open for the Eagles at the

Verizon Center in Washington DC in 2007.


Posted by: naturalfake at December 26, 2014 10:36 AM (KBvAm)

222 For several days afterwards, Buzz dissipated the residual electricity by touching unsuspecting cats, much to the delight of the other monkeys.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 26, 2014 10:36 AM (0HooB)

223 and in even more fun news:
according to EFE news agency, TFG is floating trial balloons to allow FMLN bomb-maker Oscar Lopez Rivera to go free. You know, because of Cuba and everything. Lopez Rivera was sentenced in various charges including terrorism and conspiracy 23 years ago when his Chicago apartment was raided and discovered to have explosives, bomb making materials, maps and instructions on insurrection
And almost no furniture.

Can't find anything else about it except a fluff-piece at the Huffington Post

Posted by: Kindltot at December 26, 2014 10:36 AM (t//F+)

224 when sentenced to hang, it was "to hang until dead." I'm pretty that first snap of the rope should do it,

Usually, but if the hangman is incompetent or misjudges the distance of the drop, a condemned prisoner can strangle to death, which is what happened to the Lincoln assassin Lewis Powell.



Which is why I always argue for a 60 ft drop with a 50 ft rope. #NoStrangulation

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 10:36 AM (H/5vA)

225 Should I buy more pie? Wondering what to do today.

Posted by: Soona at December 26, 2014 10:37 AM (V3IoZ)

226 You gonna finish that?

Posted by: Liberian Bushmeat Guy at December 26, 2014 10:37 AM (HUdAz)

227 220 217 Well, this is cheery. A discussion re hanging.



Stick around for the vivisection symposium.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:36 AM (7ObY1)

Convivial vivisection!

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 10:38 AM (mx5oN)

228 Hey, if y'all are bored, why don't you drop by the house here and put stuff in boxes for me?

I have one week to be packed up for the move to AK. Holy crap. I mean, crap everywhere, not in boxes.

Panic time.

Then again, if it ain't packed, it ain't going, so it doesn't have to be unpacked..... hmmm.....

Posted by: tcn in AK, almost at December 26, 2014 10:38 AM (g+qqc)

229 Come towards the light little monkey. All your other relatives are here.

**beckons enticingly**

**plays monkey harp music**

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, well I'll be a monkey's uncle. at December 26, 2014 10:38 AM (NeFrd)

230 Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:33 AM (zF6Iw)

There are charts for rope length based on weight!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 10:38 AM (Zu3d9)

231

I pulled the lever, but before he fell I cut him lose
They called it a conspiracy, and that I had to die
So to close our mouths and kill our minds, they hung us side-by-side

And now we're two hangmen, hangin' from a tree
That don't bother me, at all
Two hangmen, hangin' from a tree
That don't bother me, at all

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 26, 2014 10:38 AM (rwI+c)

232 Drudge headline, bottom of column 1:

Scientists create artificial sperm from skin

I believe this fall's in the category of "you're doing it wrong."

Jingle balls

Posted by: mindful webworker - scien test at December 26, 2014 10:39 AM (Yzubb)

233 Watching the vid it looked more like one of the monkeys was spanking the other monkey.

Posted by: Man with the Stetson at December 26, 2014 10:39 AM (9+Udi)

234 I didn't get nuttin' for Christmas. Wah.

Posted by: Sphynx at December 26, 2014 10:40 AM (OZmbA)

235 233 Watching the vid it looked more like one of the monkeys was spanking the other monkey.
Posted by: Man with the Stetson at December 26, 2014 10:39 AM (9+Udi)

That was a different vid altogether...

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 10:40 AM (mx5oN)

236 234 I didn't get nuttin' for Christmas. Wah.
Posted by: Sphynx at December 26, 2014 10:40 AM (OZmbA)

Try again. You'll nut sooner or later.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 26, 2014 10:41 AM (mx5oN)

237 This Monkey is a 1000 times smarter than that Idiot Bush will ever be! Bush lied to our President of color which is a serious crime and should be arrested now !!!!!!!!

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien at December 26, 2014 10:41 AM (Sd++4)

238 I need to crowd source funding to attend an upcoming Eagles concert in Perth, Australia. It's important that I go and I must also have a hotel suite with a view and a two-night visit by a hot Aussie hooker.

Posted by: Sphynx at December 26, 2014 10:42 AM (OZmbA)

239 Best hangin' song ever: The Strawbs "The Hangman and the Papist."

Rick Wakeman played keyboards on it, pre-YES.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 26, 2014 10:42 AM (7ObY1)

240 Someone from the HO called with a new task. Don't they know I'm "acing" it today?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 10:43 AM (vPh3W)

241 Usually, but if the hangman is incompetent or misjudges the distance of the drop, a condemned prisoner can strangle to death, which is what happened to the Lincoln assassin Lewis Powell.

Feature or bug.

Posted by: Jean at December 26, 2014 10:43 AM (TETYm)

242 Watching the vid it looked more like one of the monkeys was spanking the other monkey.



www dot simianhut dot com

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 10:43 AM (H/5vA)

243 Mary Clogs! Did Satan Claus bring you everything you asked for this Christmas?

Posted by: mindful webworker - I c ded pipl at December 26, 2014 10:44 AM (Yzubb)

244 FARC is committed to revolution, except now they are in peace talks with
the Colombian government being hosted in Cuba. Their relative positions are
demonstrated by the fact they are trying to start negotiations and the
Colombian government is arguing about the shape of the table.

I have some friends who have had several members of their immediate family killed by FARC. They are not a debating society.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 26, 2014 10:44 AM (t//F+)

245 I have some draino that will fix that "clogg in stein"

Posted by: Helpful Handy guy not named Jack at December 26, 2014 10:44 AM (zLOJ1)

246 132 Touching video of a dog saving the life of a friend: http://youtu.be/R4vpXS5BKyc

Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at December 26, 2014 09:50 AM (MbqmP)


****

Looks like he somehow avoided screwing the pooch.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, well I'll be a monkey's uncle. at December 26, 2014 10:44 AM (NeFrd)

247 FARC = Commies.

All you need to know.

Posted by: blaster at December 26, 2014 10:45 AM (7X4hH)

248 Mrs. E is getting a haircut at the mall. Yeah. I asked if she knew what day this is. She said the appointment was made months ago. I said today was 26Dec months ago. Yeah, I said that stupid words. So volunteered to go with her. At leas it's raining/cold here in ETEX this morning. Maybe it will keep a lot of folks home.

Posted by: Erowmero at December 26, 2014 10:47 AM (go5uR)

249 The distinction is probably because they also used to sentence crims (traitors usually IIRC) to be hanged by the neck and then be cut down and then tortured correctively-punished some more like being disemboweled.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 10:24 AM (CSXsy)


That happened to an ancestor of mine, St. Oliver Plunkett:

http://goo.gl/AIkx4N

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:48 AM (zF6Iw)

250 I wuz railroaded I tell you!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, half dead monkey at December 26, 2014 10:49 AM (NeFrd)

251 And now a bit of history to tie all the memes together...


In 1921, traveling hangman, Orville Stetson, was widely celebrated for his special series of Holiday Executions, titled "Dance of the Sock Monkeys".

During which the condemned were dressed as Sock Monkeys,

and hanged using bungie cord from a seventy foot platform.




#realhistoryyouguys

Posted by: naturalfake at December 26, 2014 10:49 AM (KBvAm)

252 Mrs. E is getting a haircut at the mall. Yeah. I asked if she knew what day this is. She said the appointment was made months ago. I said today was 26Dec months ago. Yeah, I said that stupid words.



Doh. Those words were stupid YEARS ago.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 10:49 AM (H/5vA)

253 Monkeys aren't that easy to train.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, half dead monkey at December 26, 2014 10:49 AM (NeFrd)

254 >>> That happened to an ancestor of mine, St. Oliver Plunkett:

I see he was Primate of all Ireland.

Could he cast lightning bolts?

Posted by: fluffy at December 26, 2014 10:50 AM (Ua6T/)

255 Here our scenes from our next exciting episode of "Monkey EMT!"

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 10:50 AM (MQEz6)

256 Monkeys aren't that easy to train.



They are easily dis-trackeded.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 10:52 AM (H/5vA)

257 After shoving crosses up their butts last month, the militant feminist group known as FEMEN
have staged yet another 'protest'. This time, one of their members
stormed the Vatican nativity scene on Christmas day and tried to kidnap
the baby Jesus.

Nice girls.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 10:52 AM (XzRw1)

258 253 Monkeys aren't that easy to train.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, half dead monkey at Dec

Yeah, well where does monkey see, monkey do come from?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 10:52 AM (vPh3W)

259 speaking of monkeys and trains there's always this-



http://tinyurl.com/oyy3klx

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, half dead monkey at December 26, 2014 10:52 AM (NeFrd)

260 Monkeys aren't that easy to train.

ISWYDT

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at December 26, 2014 10:52 AM (0HooB)

261 Monkeys aren't that easy to train.

Hence the need for spanking.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:52 AM (zF6Iw)

262 We're asking that this video be removed

Posted by: EMT Union Guy at December 26, 2014 10:53 AM (HUdAz)

263 Somebody oughta write a song about that.

Posted by: Peter Gabriel at December 26, 2014 10:53 AM (vgIRn)

264 Monkeys aren't that easy to train.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, half dead monkey at Dec

Yeah, well where does monkey see, monkey do come from?
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian


Brothers and cousins.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 10:53 AM (H/5vA)

265 Figured out my Paperwhite problem. The problem was, I'm stupid.

Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 10:54 AM (A98Xu)

266 Where's the video of the choking chicken that was saved by Chicken EMT?

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 10:54 AM (MQEz6)

267 Monkeys aren't that easy to train.


A friend once railroaded me into seeing a monkey show.

I shoulda kicked him in the caboose.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 26, 2014 10:55 AM (KBvAm)

268 Yeah, I said that stupid words.

Posted by: Erowmero at December 26, 2014 10:47 AM (go5uR)

You don't like sex...do you...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 10:55 AM (Zu3d9)

269 A friend once railroaded me into seeing a monkey show.

A chump for the chimps, eh?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:56 AM (zF6Iw)

270 257 After shoving crosses up their butts last month, the militant feminist group known as FEMEN

------

Why are they so incredibly, uncontrollably, irrationally, stupidly angry?

Hey, sugartits, relax, have a drink, get shagged.

Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 10:56 AM (A98Xu)

271
Oh No!
Fred's fallen onto the tracks!
http://tinyurl.com/6y3hmgx

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 10:57 AM (vPh3W)

272 AUSTIN, Texas - The
widely acclaimed movie 'Selma' about the 1965 Civil Rights movement has
disappointed at least one moviegoer: a leading historian of President
Lyndon B. Johnson.
The director of the LBJ
Presidential Library in Austin, which hosted a major civil rights summit
this year that was headlined by four U.S. presidents, said the film
that opens in theatres Thursday incorrectly portrays Johnson as an
obstructionist to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Drudge



Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (XzRw1)

273 I was about to open the door to let in my little yellow fuzzy kitty, when I saw that he had brought along a playmate/snack, a good-sized field mouse.

They're playing chase, and catch.

I can sympathize with the little rodent's terror, but that's life and death in the great outdoors, and the Creators have deemed that mice do make the perfect edible cat toys.

Posted by: mindful webworker - top dog among the cats at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (geVJ9)

274 Where's the video of the choking chicken that was saved by Chicken EMT?

****

You should have seen the Catholic outreach mission's video of treating bishops for head injuries after they had been bopped.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (NeFrd)

275 Yeah. When "well-hung" involves an oak tree and manila rope.

*shudders*



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (RzZOc)

276 Why are they so incredibly, uncontrollably, irrationally, stupidly angry?

Hey, sugartits, relax, have a give a guy a bunch of drink, get shagged.


Fixed for accuracy.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (H/5vA)

277 Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 10:56 AM (A98Xu)

If only they were angry about actual threats to women I would be able to understand them just a little bit.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (Zu3d9)

278 Yeah, those FEMEN chicks are the dark side of feminism. They may be young and like to go topless during protests, but they are Christian hating, abortion-loving psycho beyotches.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 26, 2014 10:59 AM (ABcz/)

279 Train in Vain: http://youtu.be/q3Yl4ehzX-o

Yeah, I got nuthin'.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at December 26, 2014 10:59 AM (UVfht)

280 Screw LBJ.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 10:59 AM (zF6Iw)

281 Those FEMEN don't mess with mulims though,I bet.

Posted by: steevy at December 26, 2014 11:00 AM (v5UtH)

282 If only they were angry about actual threats to women I would be able to understand them just a little bit.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (Zu3d9)

-----

Amen.

Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 11:01 AM (A98Xu)

283 Yeah, sure, "daddy didn't love me" but now you can see why.

Posted by: A Proud FEMEN Dad at December 26, 2014 11:02 AM (4IFRz)

284 one of their members stormed the Vatican nativity scene on Christmas day and tried to kidnap the baby Jesus

To the delight of the Swiss Guards and their halliards, hopefully.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 26, 2014 11:03 AM (rwI+c)

285 The director of the LBJ
Presidential Library in Austin....said the film

that opens in theatres Thursday incorrectly portrays Johnson as an

obstructionist to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.


Welcome to the party, pal!

Posted by: Every Republican politician in film, real or imagined at December 26, 2014 11:03 AM (ABcz/)

286 282 If only they were angry about actual threats to women I would be able to understand them just a little bit.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 10:58 AM (Zu3d9

If only they were angry about something that happened in the past day instead of dredging up shit from 20 years ago I would be able to understand them just a little bit.

Not a FIFY but my thoughts on things.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 11:04 AM (vPh3W)

287 Yes,

Dear FEMEN,

Please take your side show to muslim countries, like the especially fun place, Syria. Let us know how it goes with your "edgy" protests.

Sincerely,

Everyone who isn't a dipshit attention whore

Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 11:04 AM (A98Xu)

288 dammit halberd

effin autocorrect needs to learn some new words.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 26, 2014 11:04 AM (rwI+c)

289 I can sympathize with the little rodent's terror, but that's life and death in the great outdoors, and the Creators have deemed that mice do make the perfect edible cat toys.


On the upside, I get to infect the damn cat with the parasite-

Toxoplasma gondii

which may make into the owner's brain.


So...yeah, it's all good. The Creator made ol' Toxie too.

Posted by: Field Mouse Being Used as a Cat Chew Toy at December 26, 2014 11:05 AM (KBvAm)

290 To the delight of the Swiss Guards and their halliards, hopefully.

Halberds, I suspect. Halliards have their place but lack a certain something as a weapon, unless you are going to be hanging folks.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 26, 2014 11:05 AM (FG1UN)

291 I can sympathize with the little rodent's terror, but that's life and death in the great outdoors



Don't tell AtC.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 11:07 AM (H/5vA)

292 It would be awesome if that monkey awoke with superpowers.

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 11:07 AM (MMC8r)

293 That is really interesting, MPPPP, about your ancestor.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:07 AM (CSXsy)

294 Not a FIFY but my thoughts on things.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 11:04 AM (vPh3W)

If the women of the world had to suffer only the depredations of the Roman Catholic Church instead of their real enemies...Islam....they would be much, much better off.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:07 AM (Zu3d9)

295 Swiss Guards and their halliards...


***

Yay, the Swiss Guards are going sailing!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:07 AM (NeFrd)

296

Yay, the Swiss Guards are going sailing!
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:07 AM (NeFrd

Swiss Miss for beverages?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 11:08 AM (l1zOH)

297 It would be awesome if that monkey awoke with superpowers.

Posted by: --- at December 26, 2014 11:07 AM (MMC8r)


****


Spidermonkey, duh.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:08 AM (NeFrd)

298 It would be awesome if that monkey awoke with superpowers.

As long as it stays in India. I don't think we need a monkey that can fling poo at supersonic speeds over here.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 26, 2014 11:09 AM (FG1UN)

299 FEMEN *has* protested against Muslims, so they are equal opportunity religion-haters. Which makes them braver that 99.9999% of other progressives.

But they're still psycho beyotches.

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2013/04/ femen-stages-a-topless-jihad/100487/

Posted by: Lizzy at December 26, 2014 11:09 AM (ABcz/)

300 Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 26, 2014 10:52 AM (XzRw1)

Apparently they need to learn some history.

The original "Feminism" (say... starting with Susan B Anthony) was only really possible in a Christian society wherein women we at least coming to be seen as morally equal to men.

Other societies before that? Not so much.

So it is only (or at least "primarily") because of Christianity that these shrieking harpies are able to whine about their current picayune "grievances" in the first place.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 11:09 AM (kff5f)

301 Yay, the Swiss Guards are going sailing!


But, of course!

Posted by: The Swiss Navy at December 26, 2014 11:09 AM (KBvAm)

302 As long as it stays in India. I don't think we need a monkey that can fling poo at supersonic speeds over here.


We'd like to study this further......Maybe a grant of $500,000 to get things rolling?

Posted by: HHS at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (ABcz/)

303 Yay, the Swiss Guards are going sailing!


But, of course!

Posted by: The Swiss Navy at December 26, 2014 11:09 AM (KBvAm)


PRO TIP: Never bring a halyard to a knife fight.

Posted by: The Swiss Army at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (4IFRz)

304 Ah, here's some work at last. Let's see how quickly I can get through it.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 11:11 AM (zF6Iw)

305 Never bring a halyard to a knife fight.

Posted by: The Swiss Army at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (4IFRz)

Agreed. That would be the wrong tack to take....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:12 AM (Zu3d9)

306 I generally feel sorry for wild animals. Most of us think that they lead idyllic lives, but the truth is they spend a good bit of it hungry, and often wet, cold and frightened.

The lower they are on the food chain, the worse it gets.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 11:12 AM (l1zOH)

307 Re. the Femen, I assume they've been co-opted by the Left and that's driving the more anti-Christian shit when they used to go after the Muzzies and Putin-ists more or at first.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (CSXsy)

308 g'late mornin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (KCxzN)

309 Never bring a halyard to a knife fight.
Posted by: The Swiss Army at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (4IFRz)

Agreed. That would be the wrong tack to take....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:12 AM (Zu3d9)


Any port in a storm. . .

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (zF6Iw)

310 As long as it stays in India. I don't think we need a monkey that can fling poo at supersonic speeds over here.


And now we have our shield against Pakastani nukes.

We call it the "Poo Dome".

Posted by: India Defense Force at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (KBvAm)

311 Toxoplasmosis - why it's a man's job to clean the kitty poo box.

Just one of so many natural things ready to attack us - it's like Australia everywhere our there! Shelter in place! Don't go outside! (Hm, this reminds me of someone...?)

Posted by: mindful webworker - naturally at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (geVJ9)

312 Never bring a halyard to a knife fight.

Posted by: The Swiss Army at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (4IFRz)

****


Unless you are just going to be sparring.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (NeFrd)

313 Never bring a halyard to a knife fight.

Posted by: The Swiss Army at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (4IFRz)

Agreed. That would be the wrong tack to take....


When the winds of fate change.....

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 11:14 AM (H/5vA)

314 Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:12 AM (Zu3d9)

C'mon, leave the poor auto-correct besot fool alone.

One gaff should not lead to this many puns.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 11:14 AM (kff5f)

315 309 Never bring a halyard to a knife fight.
Posted by: The Swiss Army at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (4IFRz)

Agreed. That would be the wrong tack to take....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:12 AM (Zu3d9)

Any port in a storm. . .
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (zF6Iw

I hear the lee side is quiet this time of year.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 11:14 AM (l1zOH)

316 Posted by: Lizzy at December 26, 2014 10:59 AM (ABcz/)

Didn't they start out protesting Putin? Guess they figured their life expectancy was a little higher harassing priests and devout Catholics.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at December 26, 2014 11:14 AM (GDulk)

317 The lower they are on the food chain, the worse it gets.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 11:12 AM (l1zOH)



Oh I don't know. Life can be pretty good for someone who's fast on their pseudopods.

Posted by: An Amoeba at December 26, 2014 11:14 AM (4IFRz)

318 The lower they are on the food chain, the worse it gets.

And the higher up they are, the more vulnerable to disruptions in the food chain.

Posted by: Grey Fox at December 26, 2014 11:14 AM (FG1UN)

319 309 Never bring a halyard to a knife fight.
Posted by: The Swiss Army at December 26, 2014 11:10 AM (4IFRz)

Agreed. That would be the wrong tack to take....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:12 AM (Zu3d9)

Any port in a storm. . .
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at December 26, 2014 11:13 AM (zF6Iw)

You guys aft to stop with the puns.

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:15 AM (MQEz6)

320 Avast, a right wing cons-piracy

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:15 AM (NeFrd)

321 When the winds of fate change.....

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 11:14 AM (H/5vA)

It's tough to stay on an even keel.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:15 AM (Zu3d9)

322 I generally feel sorry for wild animals. Most of us think that they lead idyllic lives, but the truth is they spend a good bit of it hungry, and often wet, cold and frightened.

The lower they are on the food chain, the worse it gets.



Charlotte's Web it's not.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 11:16 AM (H/5vA)

323 You guys aft to stop with the puns.

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:15 AM (MQEz6)

You will bow to our wit.....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:16 AM (Zu3d9)

324 rickb223: "Don't tell AtC."

oh, yeah. That was who.

Posted by: mindful webworker - fleet of foot at December 26, 2014 11:16 AM (geVJ9)

325 The sailing puns are great. I'm just luffing this.

*rimshot*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 26, 2014 11:16 AM (4IFRz)

326 I don't exactly feel "sorry" for wild animals. Their lives are, indeed, often brutal and short, but that's a) how they were made and b) (part of) why we domesticated so many of them.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 11:16 AM (kff5f)

327 You guys aft to stop with the puns.
Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:15 AM (MQEz6)




That's the sprit.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at December 26, 2014 11:17 AM (vgIRn)

328 C'mon, leave the poor auto-correct besot fool alone.

One gaff should not lead to this many puns.



Seal clap.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 11:17 AM (H/5vA)

329 Okay, lets not belay-bor the point.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:17 AM (NeFrd)

330 Live from New York, it's Friday morning:

Reports of plane flying banner in New York City, near George Washington Bridge, that reads 'De Blasio Our Backs Are Turned on You' - @KarenChristenze, @DanScavino

Posted by: Meremortal at December 26, 2014 11:17 AM (1Y+hH)

331 The Femen lost me and I knew they were just more Leftist freaks when they vandalized a Russian (or Eastern European?) monument/graveyard to Christian victims of Stalin.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:17 AM (CSXsy)

332 Stern warning, guys: stow the pun bilge.

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:17 AM (MQEz6)

333 You guys aft to stop with the puns.
Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:15 AM (MQEz6)




That's the sprit.
Posted by: Just Some Guy



I bow to your wit.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (H/5vA)

334 How did this punning come about?

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (l1zOH)

335 Charlotte's Web it's not.


That's some Trichinosis-filled pig!

Posted by: Truthful Literate Spider Spinning Word Message in Web at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (KBvAm)

336 Reports of plane flying banner in New York City, near George Washington Bridge, that reads 'De Blasio Our Backs Are Turned on You' - @KarenChristenze, @DanScavino

Okay. At this point it's like some teenage girl saying, "I'm not talking to you!!!"

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (kff5f)

337 I'll deck the next moron that makes a nautical pun.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (CSXsy)

338 How did those FEMEN protests in muslim countries go?

Considering you can be whipped for showing ankle, when they were nude and shoving the quran up their asses did anyone care?

Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 11:19 AM (A98Xu)

339 You guys keel me.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 26, 2014 11:19 AM (kff5f)

340 I'll deck the next moron that makes a nautical pun.
Posted by: andy
---------------

I'm on board with that.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 11:20 AM (l1zOH)

341 So UNC plays in Detroit against Rutgers at 4:00.


I assume all players and fans will be armed?

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 26, 2014 11:20 AM (0FSuD)

342 I'll deck the next moron that makes a nautical pun.
Posted by: andycanuck



Zoom! To the moon, Alice!

Posted by: rickb223 at December 26, 2014 11:20 AM (H/5vA)

343 Y'all are on a roll. Guess I'll just sit here and stare at my naval.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:20 AM (NeFrd)

344 331 The Femen lost me

-----

Wait, was there a time when FEMEN were on your, "these gals make sense list?"

Posted by: seems legit at December 26, 2014 11:20 AM (A98Xu)

345 Just checked Wikipedia, and FEMEN has only been around since 2008 an yep, it started in Ukraine (but they've since moved their HQ to Paris).
They protest for all sorts of rad fem stuff, some of it good (like against stoning and sex slave trafficking) and some of it more typical (pro abortion, pro SSM, etc.). They are what Marcotte et. al. would be if they were ever motivated enough to do anything more that whine on twitter.

Posted by: Lizzy at December 26, 2014 11:20 AM (ABcz/)

346 nood

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 26, 2014 11:21 AM (4IFRz)

347 Silence! I keel you!

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 11:21 AM (l1zOH)

348 340 I'll deck the next moron that makes a nautical pun.
Posted by: andy
---------------

I'm on board with that.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 26, 2014 11:20 AM (l1zOH)

Don't mess with andy.

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:22 AM (MQEz6)

349 Well, it's gonna cost you an armada leg.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:22 AM (NeFrd)

350
I'll deck the next moron that makes a nautical pun.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (CSXsy)

I promise I'll take the high rode.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 26, 2014 11:22 AM (Zu3d9)

351 Mike Hammer: "I generally feel sorry for wild animals. Most of us think that they lead idyllic lives, but the truth is they spend a good bit of it hungry, and often wet, cold and frightened The lower they are on the food chain, the worse it gets."

Occurs to me there's lots of humans still pretty much in those conditions... psychologically, if not literally.

Posted by: mindful webworker - pop psyche at December 26, 2014 11:24 AM (geVJ9)

352 Good reef!

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:24 AM (MQEz6)

353 More Pissaro.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:25 AM (CSXsy)

354 Good reef!

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2014 11:24 AM (MQEz6)


****

Now that doesn't make any sense atoll.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, a solid man at December 26, 2014 11:25 AM (NeFrd)

355 Monkey one saves monkey two.
Monkey two talks to monkey three.
Monkey three works for Chimp, Chimp, Chimp, and A. G. Orilla, Attorneys at Law.

CCC and O file suit against monkey one for not saving his friend quick enough.

Monkey one looses and has to fork over all his bananas to monkey two.

Moral of the story?

Have at it.

Posted by: A half eaten Banana at December 26, 2014 11:26 AM (zLOJ1)

356 337 I'll deck the next moron that makes a nautical pun.
Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (CSXsy)

Anchors away, Bub.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 26, 2014 11:27 AM (l1zOH)

357 356 337 I'll deck the next moron that makes a nautical pun.
Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2014 11:18 AM (CSXsy)



I bow in response to your stern demeanor.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 26, 2014 11:31 AM (oKE6c)

358 NO MORE RHYMING NOW, I MEAN IT!

Anybody gotta peanut?

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 26, 2014 12:05 PM (Kpl3J)

359 Sure, his "friend" "saved" him.

Monkey: OMG he's out! PREPARE TO BE BE BITTEN ASSHOLE!

Posted by: TallDave at December 26, 2014 12:09 PM (bgGGN)

360 BenK is a vegetarian who kisses PETA's butt

Posted by: righter at December 26, 2014 12:26 PM (QC4Xw)

361 I can always tell I've been helped when I come to covered in mud and bites, still shaking from the electrical shocks.


or something...

Posted by: somejoe at December 26, 2014 02:13 PM (LvVQC)

362 Hey, maybe the monkey hero would make a good candidate in 2016. I mean, perhaps he can work his revival techniques on the psyche of the American people and jostle the US economy back into consciousness. This video demonstrates that he clearly has more experience than Hilary, and we all know he has more experience than the current occupant of the White House. The bloke that's in the oval office now has no idea what he's doing.

Posted by: Mistress NOpe at December 27, 2014 12:35 AM (2/oBD)

363 Escort girls http://REGMODELS.RU

Posted by: Tina at December 28, 2014 03:48 AM (WprBO)

364 http://evokecoaching.com/pjsse.asp?id=Rabatt-Canada-Goose-Sverige-M%3fn-Constable-Parka-Caribou.html

Posted by: parajumpers denali r?d at January 21, 2015 12:35 PM (wdR/2)

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