Forensic Scientists Claim They've Identified Jack the Ripper Through DNA, and It Turns Out It's Aaron Kominski, a Lunatic Barber Long Suspected of Being the Killer

So not the Prince, then.

This guy has been floated as a likely suspect a lot, including at the time of the killings. Not a very "sexy" sort of suspect -- a Polish immigrant living a grubby life and a lunatic. He was committed to an insane asylum in 1891; the last of the canonical Ripper murders occurred in 1888.

This DNA-based solution was proposed in 2014. A shawl stained with blood was found on the body of Catherine Eddoes and somehow was preserved until now.

This is the first time a Ripper suspect has been profiled (or confirmed, depending on whether you believe this) by DNA in a peer-reviewed science journal.

Researchers Jari Louhelainen and David Miller ran genetic tests on a silk shawl stained with blood and semen that investigators say was found next to the body of the killer’s fourth victim, Catherine Eddowes, Science reported.

Do you have Prince Albert in a Can?

No, but I have Aaron Kominski in a jerksock.

Researchers compared fragments of mitochondrial DNA -- which the magazine noted is inherited from one's mother -- to samples from living relatives of Eddowes and Kosminski and found they matched those of Kosminski's relative.

The study also includes an analysis of the killer’s appearance which suggests the killer had brown hair and brown eyes. which matches the only reliable witness statement, according to Science.

The study's findings may not satisfy other Ripper experts who say the shawl may have been contaminated over the years. The shawl was given to Louhelainen by Edwards, a self-proclaimed “armchair detective” and author of "Naming Jack the Ripper," who bought it at an auction in 2007, according to the Guardian.

Kominski was known by the nickname "Saucy Jack." Neighbors described him as either as "a naughty one" or "a haughty one." (The handwritten police notes are smudged and the first letter may be an "n" or "h").

So is the case finally closed? Probably not. The scientist who invented genetic fingerprinting dismisses this proof. I don't know why; maybe just because of the obviously high odds of contamination. So we'll probably have another hundred years of armchair sleuthing.

By the way, of course I added that last paragraph to the quote just for fun. Because lies are fun (the media taught me that!).

I thought maybe I could transport you, for just one moment, into a magical world where Spinal Tap were actually psychic detectives who solved crimes through song.

Via PJ Media's Morning Brief.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 01:50 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of page)

1 1

Posted by: Ha at March 19, 2019 01:51 PM (MAstk)

2 not first but glad to be here

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at March 19, 2019 01:52 PM (ZqRa6)

3 someone tell Sponge that we're here now.

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at March 19, 2019 01:52 PM (ZqRa6)

4 Meh,he is beyond our justice anyway.

Posted by: steevy at March 19, 2019 01:52 PM (BXMxN)

5 Read the content, Boss!

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 19, 2019 01:53 PM (k2zJW)

6 I shan't stop ripping them!

Posted by: Jake Tapper, Full of Shit and Out of Beano at March 19, 2019 01:53 PM (34alA)

7 He was inspired by Trump's rhetoric.

Posted by: Tawdry Prole at March 19, 2019 01:54 PM (bM37c)

8 ok, new thread announcement haz bin posted

Posted by: mallfly the Peach of Hoboken at March 19, 2019 01:54 PM (ZqRa6)

9 Interesting stuff. Sounds like they finally figured it out.

Posted by: Minnfidel at March 19, 2019 01:54 PM (+/tGa)

10
Damn Polocks.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 01:54 PM (8XRCm)

11 You'd go to a barber for a good bleeding.

Posted by: Roy at March 19, 2019 01:54 PM (xqdqQ)

12 Aaron the Ripper

Posted by: JoeF. at March 19, 2019 01:55 PM (NFEMn)

13 But how can Trump be blamed for the killings, then ?

This makes no sense !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at March 19, 2019 01:55 PM (wA4OO)

14 Lucky 13

Posted by: Dude at March 19, 2019 01:55 PM (hpbeA)

15 >>>7 He was inspired by Trump's rhetoric.
Posted by: Tawdry Prole

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!!!

Posted by: Tater the Fat-Faced Boy at March 19, 2019 01:55 PM (PbpT7)

16 Incompetent 15

Posted by: Dude at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (hpbeA)

17 Yes; it's the same team that did the shawl DNA tests in 2014 but this is mitochondrial DNA testing confirming, supposedly, their theory. The Wiki page about Kosminski has already been updated about it!

Posted by: andycanuck at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (Dh1wo)

18 Aaron the Clipper was Jack the Ripper.

Posted by: Flatville Bill at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (rJN3l)

19 Damn you 17

Posted by: Dude at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (hpbeA)

20 Wasn't the true killer Capitalism? Makes you think.

Posted by: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (P1AAi)

21 Alison Kaplan Sommers (that takes me back) had an interesting article on this five years ago.

https://www.haaretz.com/ .premium-a-jewish-jack-the- ripper-is-even-scarier-1.5263945

Posted by: trev006 at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (fPLS0)

22 Little-known fact: Jack the Ripper also goes by the names Redjac and Beratis.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (OyyDO)

23 The biggest problem with this is that... nobody knows if the blood on the shawl belongs to the killer or not. Its just blood from an unknown donor at the scene. As sloppy as the police were with this case, one of THEM might have dropped it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (39g3+)

24 Jack the Ripper and Jeffrey Dahmer had a super intense love affair.

Posted by: JK Rowling at March 19, 2019 01:57 PM (hpbeA)

25 Have they retconned Jack the Ripper to a tranny yet?

Posted by: blaster at March 19, 2019 01:57 PM (9VeU0)

26
So. Is it reasonable doubt to ask if Aaron really IS the killer.

But.... what if Aaron just pleasured himself while somebody else did the killing. Is that beyond the realm of possibility.

~Ambulance Chasing Lawyers Everywhere

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 01:57 PM (8XRCm)

27 >>>The biggest problem with this is that... nobody knows if the blood on the shawl belongs to the killer or not. Its just blood from an unknown donor at the scene. As sloppy as the police were with this case, one of THEM might have dropped it

well it is semen, so....

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 01:57 PM (PbpT7)

28 OT

Murdoch's new Fox debuts on Nasdaq, names ex-Speaker Paul Ryan to board

Posted by: Ha at March 19, 2019 01:58 PM (MAstk)

29 I already knew. T-Bone told me. He saw the whole thing.

Posted by: Gay Spartacus Booker at March 19, 2019 01:58 PM (9vQJW)

30
He was a Polish Jew. Rep. Bro Fo rant about them killer Joos in 3..2...

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 01:58 PM (OLCnA)

31 I think OJ would like to speak with Mr. Kosminski. He may be the real killer.

Posted by: pep at March 19, 2019 01:58 PM (wW03z)

32 Its not even certain the name "jack the ripper" was from the killer, that might have been a publicity stunt by one of the newspapers at the time

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 01:58 PM (39g3+)

33 Sure! Blame the guy with tertiary syphilis who bangs Papist whores!

Told you so.

Posted by: zombie prince clarence at March 19, 2019 01:58 PM (Dh1wo)

34 Jack the Ripper er...Sniffer, on his way to a fundraising dinner had his hackney driver stop when he saw a homeless streetwalker, and offered to give her whatever was in his pocket. When relating this story he reportedly said, "This isn't about me."

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 01:59 PM (m45I2)

35 well it is semen, so....

Either way, its just something at a scene, there's nothing connecting it to the killer. A forensic tech should know this.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 01:59 PM (39g3+)

36 I'm not sure I have enough brain cells to continue to worry about the true identity of Jack the Ripper.

It's interesting but yeah, I can't imagine those armchair sleuths who obsess over this.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 19, 2019 01:59 PM (PFy0L)

37 in a peer-reviewed science journal.

I'm not sure I'd classify Science as in a peer-reviewed science journal.

Recall that reviewers of Science manuscripts were (IIRC) among those perfectly happy to publish Warmaggedon papers without disclosure of the data or the data reduction methodology. I'd have rejected such manuscripts out of hand. That is not how science is done.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 19, 2019 01:59 PM (6b1dn)

38 The also found electrolytes an Pink Himalayan Salt. So I think Jack the Ripper is actually The Snake Juice Diet Guy.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 01:59 PM (VpIIl)

39 He might just have visited the whore before she was murdered.Considering the hygeine of the class and age,days earlier....

Posted by: steevy at March 19, 2019 01:59 PM (BXMxN)

40 Sweeney Todd is annoyed, no longer the only mad barber.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 19, 2019 01:59 PM (/snPg)

41 The shawl was bought at an auction?!?!?!?

Great provenance, huh?

If it had been kept in police custody all these years, yeah, maybe.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas at March 19, 2019 02:00 PM (uDcBt)

42
Stop the lies!! We all know that global warming killed those women. And the patriarchy and sexism and racism and homophobia and Islamophobia and...

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:00 PM (OLCnA)

43 I suspect that in time we're going to find out that some of these DNA tests (particularly the ones that replicate from very small samples) aren't nearly as exact or trustworthy as presently believed.

Kinda like how recently scientists proved that the previously relied upon system of accelerants and arson investigation were not reliable at all.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:00 PM (39g3+)

44 So not the Prince, then.
---
Funky.

Posted by: Axeman at March 19, 2019 02:00 PM (vDqXW)

45 >>>I'm not sure I'd classify Science as in a peer-reviewed science journal.

yeah I was going to add "as if that means anything anymore" but I wanted to get to the claim.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:00 PM (PbpT7)

46 I'd have rejected such manuscripts out of hand. That is not how science is done.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara



It's not who we are.

Posted by: pep at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (wW03z)

47 >>>39 He might just have visited the whore before she was murdered.Considering the hygeine of the class and age,days earlier....

oh, Duh! I didn't even think of that.

well, good point.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (PbpT7)

48 I've been saying for years that if you DNA test the blue dress, you'll find that Aaron Kominski came on Monica. I'm a gentleman; I only unload in the mouth when I make love to an intern's face.

Posted by: William Jefferson Clinton at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (34alA)

49 11 out of 10 lefty moonbats agree. It was Trump.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (t6MX/)

50 OT

Murdoch's new Fox debuts on Nasdaq, names ex-Speaker Paul Ryan to board
Posted by: Ha at March 19, 2019 01:58 PM (MAstk)

-----------------------

I'm sure there is NO chance he had this and other Board seats lined up before he retired to "spend time with his family". The Swamp takes care of their own.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (ffYR/)

51 Ha, ha, Dude!

Posted by: andycanuck at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (Dh1wo)

52 The also found electrolytes an Pink Himalayan Salt.

Pink Himalayan Salt, its got what plants crave!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (39g3+)

53 A century of contamination and rough handling, what could it do? Plenty.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (/snPg)

54 it's scientific fact this ripper fellow would still be with us if not for the evils of GLOBAL WARMING.

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (FZYNt)

55 *hangs head in shame*

I missed the Spinal Tap reference. Were I capable of feeling emotions, I would feel the shame.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (mf5HN)

56 At least they aren't blaming Trump......yet..

Posted by: Central Scrutinizer at March 19, 2019 02:02 PM (vI+F1)

57

I thought for sure it was Gary Condit.

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Raniere at March 19, 2019 02:02 PM (qg4Pq)

58 What if it was just a long handshake?

Posted by: blaster at March 19, 2019 02:02 PM (9VeU0)

59 well it is semen, so....
Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 01:57 PM


Emissions of which by males aged 55 or older must be reported to the local sheriff, according to a proposed new law in the Georgia legislature.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 19, 2019 02:02 PM (k2zJW)

60 What? like I couldn't leave dna like Bob Kraft at a FL rub and tug emporium. I have to be a killer now?

Posted by: Aaron Kominski batting 3rd at March 19, 2019 02:02 PM (r+sAi)

61
Stop. I dont want want to speculate on a crime that happened way back when I was a kid.

I have something more pressing I need to bring to your attention.

I ordered Corned Beef for St Pattys day on Sunday.....

.....and.......


THERE WAS NO CORN IT!!! WT Heck???

Posted by: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (8XRCm)

62 They've pretty much known for years it was this guy..

Posted by: It's me donna at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (O2RFr)

63 Looks like this Ripper...

(puts sunglasses on)

...is a dripper.

YEAAAHHHHH!!!!

Posted by: David Caruso Meme from Ten Years Ago at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (PbpT7)

64 Emissions of which by males aged 55 or older must be reported to the local sheriff, according to a proposed new law in the Georgia legislature.

I hear the GA sheriff's office will have a full time deputy shadowing Bill Clinton when he's there.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (PFy0L)

65 Yeah, a prime suspect in the case left DNA on one of the victims, coincidentally.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (P1AAi)

66 So how can the media blame this on Trump?

Posted by: It's me donna at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (O2RFr)

67 Portuguese is indecipherable.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (/tuJf)

68 Weren't the victims all prostitutes? If so, is it surprising to find some man's DNA on, or about, their person? And finding a particular person's DNA on 1 victim hardly seems conclusive. Still, good to know that 130 years later that the Ripper isn't likely to start up again.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)

69 We should ask J. K. Rowlings her opinion on this and if she will need to retcon Harry Potter again.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 19, 2019 02:04 PM (/snPg)

70 At least they aren't blaming Trump......yet..
Posted by: Central Scrutinizer


#twoweeks

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....outlaw in America at March 19, 2019 02:04 PM (vcOmj)

71 The scarf came from Joe Biden's pocket.

Posted by: Frasier Crane at March 19, 2019 02:04 PM (UHCnv)

72 66 So how can the media blame this on Trump?


Barely an inconvenience.

Posted by: The Media at March 19, 2019 02:04 PM (wW03z)

73 Go out there and win one...for the Ripper.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:04 PM (m45I2)

74 yeah I was going to add "as if that means anything anymore" but I wanted to get to the claim.
Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:00 PM (PbpT7)


I'm out of research now, but I suspect it does mean something unless the subject is highly politicized.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 19, 2019 02:04 PM (6b1dn)

75 66
So how can the media blame this on Trump?

Posted by: It's me donna at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (O2RFr)

Trump spoke approvingly about such activities in the infamous mish-grabbing tape.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:04 PM (t6MX/)

76

The Vorlons grabbed Jack a long time ago.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (aKsyK)

77 Was he related to Kelly Ripa OR Ryan Seasponge?

Posted by: saf at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (5IHGB)

78 The chain of custody on the evidence is certainly suspect. But having his DNA on it does not seem coincidental. Baye's Theorem and all that.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (VpIIl)

79 So the consensus is that Jack The Ripper did nothing wrong?

Posted by: literally serious at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (tRLIC)

80 What if it was just a long handshake?
Posted by: blaster at March 19, 2019 02:02 PM (9VeU0)



That article was fascinating because it turns out just being in a room with an object could result in your DNA ending up on an object you never touched.

This calls to mind the Duke Lacrosse lies when there was much to do about how there was DNA from the tormented I mean accused in the bathroom at the frat house and the rest of the world replied oh yes shocking that guys who live in a house would have traces of their DNA in the bathroom of the house where they lived. *shocked face*

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (mf5HN)

81 I already speculated about this earlier today. The DNA could have got on the shawl if the police gave it to the suspect to see his reaction, to see whether he flinched to give himself away.

Posted by: Decaf at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (PUz4C)

82
Still, good to know that 130 years later that the Ripper isn't likely to start up again.
Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)

-----

I take it youve never seen the Star Trek TOS "The Wolf in the Fold" episode??

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:06 PM (8XRCm)

83 79
So the consensus is that Jack The Ripper did nothing wrong?

Posted by: literally serious at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (tRLIC)

Democrat.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:06 PM (t6MX/)

84

Katrina Pierson will end up apologizing for that.

2. She should've included the fake dossier and the keating five.

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at March 19, 2019 02:06 PM (QuTMi)

85 Were all his victims Muslim women? They wear hijabs--isn't that a type of shawl? How can we shoe-horn this into the Islamophobia narrative. Andy ideas?

Posted by: MSM at March 19, 2019 02:06 PM (NFEMn)

86 68 Weren't the victims all prostitutes? If so, is it surprising to find some man's DNA on, or about, their person? And finding a particular person's DNA on 1 victim hardly seems conclusive.
Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)


Not conclusive, of course, but highly suggestive, as a number of other factors pointed to Kominski, who has long been suspected of being Jack the Ripper.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 19, 2019 02:06 PM (6b1dn)

87 Finally! I am so tired of the teasing.

Posted by: Jaques Le Rippier at March 19, 2019 02:06 PM (r+sAi)

88 You can't deport Jack the Ripper. He contributes so much to the Whitechapel economy, especially in the funeral and prostitute protection sectors.

Posted by: The Ninth Circuit at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (PbpT7)

89 Anna Puma, I shared my opinion way back at #24.

Posted by: JK Rowling at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (hpbeA)

90 >>That article was fascinating because it turns out just being in a room with an object could result in your DNA ending up on an object you never touched.

My mission now is to figure out how to get into the same room with Kate Upton.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (/tuJf)

91
Emissions of which by males aged 55 or older must be reported to the local sheriff, according to a proposed new law in the Georgia legislature.



********

Yet another seminal piece of legislation.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (m45I2)

92 This is all well and good. But the really interesting discussion is happening over the comments in HA about circumcision

Posted by: the poet at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (+AUVB)

93 81 I already speculated about this earlier today. The DNA could have got on the shawl if the police gave it to the suspect to see his reaction, to see whether he flinched to give himself away.
Posted by: Decaf at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (PUz4C)


He did a lot more than flinch if he got his semen on it.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (6b1dn)

94 I kinda figures that Jack the Ripper and the guy behind the Grassy Knoll were the same person, walking across time and never aging. At least that was the movie script I'm pushing.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (VpIIl)

95 So now I'm going to posthumously get the needle every time my spunk turns up on a dead hooker? You know these women have sex with people for a living right?

Posted by: Aaron Kominski, looking for the real killer in hell at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (34alA)

96

Obviously a white nationalist.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (aKsyK)

97 "I've identified the Ripper!!!" Tom ejaculated.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (m45I2)

98
I already speculated about this earlier today. The DNA could have got
on the shawl if the police gave it to the suspect to see his reaction,
to see whether he flinched to give himself away.

Posted by: Decaf

So he was bleeding and/or ejaculating at the time?

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (P1AAi)

99 94 I kinda figures that Jack the Ripper and the guy behind the Grassy Knoll were the same person, walking across time and never aging. At least that was the movie script I'm pushing.
Posted by: Marcus T

there can be only one

Posted by: The Highlander at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (FZYNt)

100 So, Donald Trump did it then, well, didn't do it, but he didn't come out against serial maniacs from the late 1800's, so obviously it's his fault.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (37IEG)

101 I find it fascinating that this has resurfaced. Back in 2014 when this guys's book and evidence came to light, I read up on his theory, and weirdly a lot of the evidence and timing made sense. It is not a bad theory. But All The Correct People hastily rushed to condemn it, and say that they refused to believe he was the killer, BECAUSE he was Jewish, and indulging the theory would bring about a rise in antisemitism. Or because he was an immigrant, that would lead to a rise in anti-immigrant sentiment.

So at least in my literary/Ripperologist circles, they refused to accept it and memory holed it. Nevermind science and possible facts, we will kill any theories inconvenient to our narrative that it cannot be this guy.

No, I am not kidding you.

If someone needs Ripper to sort out in their twisted, racist pea brains that Jews are responsible for all the evil in the world, they belong in the same asylum Kominski was thrown in.

*side eyes the new antisemitic DNC*

Posted by: LizLem at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (hvf9s)

102 I have a hard time believing the murders were done by someone who was insane. They seem too precise to not be planned, especially in the case of the Eddowes murder where there was only a ~10 minute window in which to commit the crime. It is possible that a mad man could just be extremely lucky, benefiting from a police force that was both inexperienced with this type of crime and kinda incompetent at the higher levels.

...And then you have the Mary Kelly murder, which belies everything I just said.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (OyyDO)

103 The thing is, this isn't even DNA. It's actually the RNA that is passed down the matriarchal line of a family which means it is less precise. Which means anyone who had this RNA could have done it.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (/snPg)

104 I haven't read the link, just this morning's NY Post story, but I recall from a 2014-era documentary that the shawl was taken by one of the cops and stored by the family after so it's not like it had a note pinned to it found at a garage boot sale.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (Dh1wo)

105 >>>81 I already speculated about this earlier today. The DNA could have got on the shawl if the police gave it to the suspect to see his reaction, to see whether he flinched to give himself away.

I don't know, but I'm going to guess that this kind of gambit wasn't invented until later.

I have no citation except for this John Mulaney bit about police in the 1930s:

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/h2twnb/john-mulaney---

crime-in-the-1930s

(delete the spaces -- worth a watch!)

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (PbpT7)

106 Oh sure, blame the Polak.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (VpIIl)

107 He did a lot more than flinch if he got his semen on it.
Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (6b1dn)

A flinch in a pinch and you'll grow an inch--it's a synch.

Posted by: MSM at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (NFEMn)

108 Still, good to know that 130 years later that the Ripper isn't likely to start up again.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)


The Kolchak episode The Ripper begs to differ

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (OLCnA)

109 >>That article was fascinating because it turns out just being in a
room with an object could result in your DNA ending up on an object you
never touched.

My mission now is to figure out how to get into the same room with Kate Upton.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (/tuJf)


In space, no one can hear you scream, "O, O, O . . . . O"

Posted by: Space Herpes at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (t6MX/)

110 >>>The thing is, this isn't even DNA. It's actually the RNA that is passed down the matriarchal line of a family which means it is less precise.

I think you mean it's the mitochondrial DNA.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:10 PM (PbpT7)

111 It's all about the golden guineas, baby!

Posted by: rep. ilhan omar at March 19, 2019 02:10 PM (Dh1wo)

112 Hell no! It was two white guys in MAGA hats!

Posted by: Jussie Smollett at March 19, 2019 02:10 PM (7HtZB)

113 Aaron the Clipper was Jack the Ripper.
Posted by: Flatville Bill at March 19, 2019 01:56 PM (rJN3l)
---
The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle.

Posted by: Axeman at March 19, 2019 02:10 PM (vDqXW)

114 Ain't this guy the tight end for the Pats?

Posted by: Asscheeks of Saturn at March 19, 2019 02:10 PM (Jj+59)

115 So, wait, we are suggesting that the cops may have handed the shawl to this guy to get a reaction, and he accidentally got his spunk on it from that?

Posted by: blaster at March 19, 2019 02:10 PM (9VeU0)

116
Oh sure, blame the Polak.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (VpIIl)

-----

Easy there killer. This gets kinda sciencey.... so .... if you get lost, we'll help you sound out the big words.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:10 PM (8XRCm)

117 If he was an illegal immigrant, he's allowed to kill anyone he likes.

Posted by: Tawdry Prole at March 19, 2019 02:11 PM (bM37c)

118 "Portuguese is indecipherable."

They've been working on it for years, but still no one knows what it means.

Posted by: Chris M at March 19, 2019 02:11 PM (eAZVt)

119 Hmm, my investigation shouldn't last more than forty years. But, then again, we're no Scotland Yard!

Posted by: Robert Mueller, Republican at March 19, 2019 02:11 PM (mhs6e)

120 I take it youve never seen the Star Trek TOS "The Wolf in the Fold" episode??

I'm sure I have but I've seen a naked woman so I don't have the episode names memorized.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:11 PM (81OU+)

121 Those Victorian serial killers--some of them were good people....

Posted by: Trump, as quoted by the MSM at March 19, 2019 02:11 PM (NFEMn)

122 I am fascinated at the fascination of so many people of this case so long ago. Human nature hates a mystery.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (r+sAi)

123 The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle.
------------
Flagon with the dragon

*KeK*

Posted by: Pepe at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (UkFGX)

124 Ace, probably since going from memory.

And I must leave now since work and all that.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (/snPg)

125 In the back of my mind I have a story idea where a freelance journalist somehow gets a device that somehow gives him view-only time travel...he doesn't travel through time, but he can set the device to give him perhaps the equivalent of an invisible security camera to view the past. He then writes about "what really happened" in the past, and the social issues that follow.

To wit, is society really better served knowing absolutely what happened, or do we get a charge out of the unknown and the endless theories that try to explain it?

Just a thought. Too heavy for a Tuesday afternoon, I think.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (PFy0L)

Posted by: Aaron Hernandez at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (FZYNt)

127 Oh, come on. She was a whore and he was a client therefore semen but it does not mean he was the killer. The killer probably wore gloves and left no DNA.

Posted by: Decaf at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (PUz4C)

128 We should test Trump's DNA just to.make sure it's not him.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (VBgjk)

129

Mr Kamikaze
Mr DNA
He's an altruistic pervert
Mr DNA
Mr Kamikaze
Here to spread some genes

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (aKsyK)

130 I kinda figures that Jack the Ripper and the guy behind the Grassy Knoll were the same person, walking across time and never aging. At least that was the movie script I'm pushing.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (VpIIl)


Does he know anything about Hoffa's whereabouts or who kidnapped the Lindberg baby?

Posted by: Hercules Perot at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (vqIkG)

131 sigh

Posted by: Vince Foster at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (PbpT7)

132 108 Still, good to know that 130 years later that the Ripper isn't likely to start up again.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)


The Kolchak episode The Ripper begs to differ
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (OLCnA)

One of my favorite short horror stories is "Yours Truly, Jack The Ripper" by Robert Bloch, about the Ripper killings being sacrifices to keep him alive through the years

Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (7HtZB)

133 I kinda figures that Jack the Ripper and the guy behind the Grassy Knoll were the same person, walking across time and never aging. At least that was the movie script I'm pushing.
Posted by: Marcus T
--------

He probably admired Trump, because, of course.

Posted by: NYT Editorial Board at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (xSo9G)

134 Was Jack the Ripper seen wearing a red MAGA derby? Or a red MAGA top hat?

Posted by: JoeF. at March 19, 2019 02:13 PM (NFEMn)

135 Not conclusive, of course, but highly suggestive, as a number of other factors pointed to Kominski, who has long been suspected of being Jack the Ripper.

Yeah he's definitely on the short list and it wouldn't be exactly shocking if he was the ripper.

It's actually the RNA that is passed down the matriarchal line of a family which means it is less precise. Which means anyone who had this RNA could have done it.

Also correct, it could have been a cousin or something, which muddles the waters, but would be awfully bizarre for someone ELSE in the close family to also be a murderous freak.

But I mean, the shawl was at the scene, but there's nothing to date when or how it got there or if its even remotely connected to the killer. I'm sure there was lots of stuff at the scene like horse droppings and leaves as well.

I have a hard time believing the murders were done by someone who was insane.

They were a weird mix of carefully planned and hastily done. And they were done in a really bold way, in the street with cops all over the place on the lookout. Plus, really insane people can have areas of incredible clarity and focus, sort of a revers autism.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:13 PM (39g3+)

136 101 I find it fascinating that this has resurfaced. Back in 2014 when this guys's book and evidence came to light, I read up on his theory, and weirdly a lot of the evidence and timing made sense. It is not a bad theory. But All The Correct People hastily rushed to condemn it, and say that they refused to believe he was the killer, BECAUSE he was Jewish, and indulging the theory would bring about a rise in antisemitism. Or because he was an immigrant, that would lead to a rise in anti-immigrant sentiment. "

I remember seeing that at the time too, and I thought "hey the guy made a pretty good case for the butcher being the killer." One of the points was, who could walk around the city streets in a bloody leather apron and not attract any notice? A butcher, obviously. Also, much has been made of the obvious fact that the guy was very handy with his carving tools, leading people to speculate the killer was a doctor, but who's even more skilled at that kind of thing than a doctor? Duh, the butcher.

I suspect some people are disappointed because it's kind of an "oh, I guess the butler really DID do it" kind of solution to the puzzle.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 19, 2019 02:13 PM (Kpl3J)

137 Back then the cops dialogue would be:


Cops: "We know it was you Kominsky, we have your DNA!"

Kominsky: "My- what?"

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:13 PM (VpIIl)

138 Sponge

Posted by: FIRST!!!!! at March 19, 2019 02:14 PM (uopCm)

139 >>> Still, good to know that 130 years later that the Ripper isn't likely to start up again. Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)

You have not checked out time traveling Jack the Ripper books or shows, I see...

Posted by: LizLem at March 19, 2019 02:14 PM (hvf9s)

140
It Turns Out It's Aaron Kominski, a Lunatic Barber Long Suspected of Being the Killer



Sure, blame on a poor immigrant working hard to turn his life around

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at March 19, 2019 02:14 PM (TAmPV)

141 Jack The Ripper tried to hang me.

Posted by: Some Guy Named Jussie in 1888 at March 19, 2019 02:14 PM (VBgjk)

142 Ever since The Phantom of Heibronn, I'm somewhat skeptical of DNA tests. It's a great story of a "serial killer" that never existed: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_of_Heilbronn
It's an example of the "Paradox of Unanimity" - when a large group of people agree to something and the data is TOO consistent, it's more likely that the concensus is wrong. You know, like climate change. :-)

Posted by: Joseph Dickerson at March 19, 2019 02:14 PM (LDV7V)

143 Well its pretty clear all the hookers at the time only had one john a night and showered extensively 3 times daily.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 19, 2019 02:15 PM (r+sAi)

144 I have a hard time believing the murders were done by someone who was insane."

That's a really weird statement, since I have an even harder time believing they were done by anyone who was sane.

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 19, 2019 02:15 PM (Kpl3J)

145 I find this way more believable than Patricia Cornwall's sensationalistic bullshit, which included destroying a Walter Sickert painting on the off chance she could glean some DNA from it.

Posted by: Geoff Flakey at March 19, 2019 02:15 PM (pPQeR)

146 He did a lot more than flinch if he got his semen on it.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 19, 2019 02:07 PM (6b1dn)

Well, it was a sexy shawl.

Posted by: Lt. Gov. Fairfax at March 19, 2019 02:15 PM (t6MX/)

147 If the glove don't fit, you must acquit.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:15 PM (VpIIl)

148 143 Well its pretty clear all the hookers at the time only had one john a night and showered extensively 3 times daily.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk

maybe they steamed their clam as well

Posted by: Gwyneth Paltrow at March 19, 2019 02:15 PM (FZYNt)

149
Why yes. We have a lovely brunette lass here at the station that helps with filing and such. She's going to give you a handsy, Aaron, just to help you relax during you questioning.

Posted by: Corrupt Limey Cops at March 19, 2019 02:15 PM (8XRCm)

150 So it was a Polish male hairdresser, in a London ghetto with a knife.

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 19, 2019 02:16 PM (P1AAi)

151 139 >>> Still, good to know that 130 years later that the Ripper isn't likely to start up again. Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)

You have not checked out time traveling Jack the Ripper books or shows, I see...

Posted by: LizLem at March 19, 2019 02:14 PM (hvf9s)

It's Scotty! Scotty is Jack the Ripper!!!

Posted by: Tom Servo at March 19, 2019 02:16 PM (Kpl3J)

152
Okay, but I'll be more impressed when "DNA" figures out who Mr Hyde/Dr Jeckyll really was.

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at March 19, 2019 02:16 PM (QuTMi)

153 The only real conclusion to be made from the DNA is that this dude has more Native American DNA than Lizzie W.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:16 PM (m45I2)

154 Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack the loonie shaved em with dick.................it's a fair cop guv,Shawl-shanked redeemer in the loonie bin seems fair.Though ya must admit,ya could acquit it was a close shave...

Posted by: saf at March 19, 2019 02:16 PM (5IHGB)

155 Ever since The Phantom of Heibronn, I'm somewhat skeptical of DNA tests.

I'm especially not fond of how easy it is to collect and keep, not just physically, but legally. They can get your DNA from any of a host of possibilities, and keep it on file for eternity. I like the cops being able to bust bad guys, but its a constant battle to just stop them from using the most easy and readily available solution no matter how badly it tramples on your rights.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:16 PM (39g3+)

156 Ever seen photos of the victims of Jack the Ripper?

Hell, the autopsy photos don't even make it clear if they ar male or female. That's how bad the bodies were butchered.

Oh, and years ago when I was visiting London did a Jack the Ripper tour at night. Interesting and creepy. Cool thing though was halfway through the tour took a break at a pub and had some brews.

Posted by: HH at March 19, 2019 02:16 PM (mIJBI)

157 that crap about the murders being carefully planned or done with "precision" is all bullshit. FBI profiler John Douglas says that's all crap. He was a disorganized killer who did little to no planning and made no efforts to hide the bodies. He was a "blitz" killer, someone whose method of killing was just to rush up to you, knock you down, and cut your throat when you were on the ground.

This stuff about him being skillful and calculated is all lore and mythology mostly from fiction or semifiction "theories" like Steven Knight's Jack the Ripper, The Final Solution.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:17 PM (PbpT7)

158 Clearly, Jack The Ripper could only be Donald Trump.

Posted by: Bob Mueller at March 19, 2019 02:17 PM (oVJmc)

159 I'll bite, when least expected.

Posted by: Chompers the Ripper at March 19, 2019 02:17 PM (vtcmf)

160 41
The shawl was bought at an auction?!?!?!?



Great provenance, huh?



If it had been kept in police custody all these years, yeah, maybe.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas at March 19, 2019 02:00 PM (uDcBt)

Sounds legit.

Posted by: FBI at March 19, 2019 02:17 PM (t6MX/)

161 >>> but who's even more skilled at that kind of thing than a doctor? Duh, the butcher. I suspect some people are disappointed because it's kind of an "oh, I guess the butler really DID do it" kind of solution to the puzzle.

Definitely not as sexy as the "it's a huge royal and governmental coverup!!" idea. But on rare occasions, truth is more boring than fiction.

Posted by: LizLem at March 19, 2019 02:17 PM (hvf9s)

162
remember the cartoon THE INSPECTOR?

remember the episode when the magic words were "Biggy Wiggy!" and the other guy would turn into the Mr Hyde MONSTER?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (QuTMi)

163 3 murders and he's the most famous serial killer? Kinda JV compared to Bundy and the like.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (VBgjk)

164 Ever seen photos of the victims of Jack the Ripper?

Hell, the autopsy photos don't even make it clear if they ar male or female. That's how bad the bodies were butchered.



Some were virtually skinned. Not pretty stuff.

Posted by: Bob Mueller at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (oVJmc)

165 Was he supplying Mrs. Lovett for her meat pie operation?

Posted by: Insomniac at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (NWiLs)

166 >>>
Oh, and years ago when I was visiting London did a Jack the Ripper tour at night. Interesting and creepy. Cool thing though was halfway through the tour took a break at a pub and had some brews.

I wanted to do that when I was there but the skies opened up and poured like I've hardly seen anywhere outside of a hurricane. Instead, I went to this kinda-silly museum of London's horrors, like the various torture and execution devices used in the middle ages. It was meh. I really wanted to do the Ripper tour.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (PbpT7)

167 I'm especially not fond of how easy it is to collect and keep, not just physically, but legally. They can get your DNA from any of a host of possibilities, and keep it on file for eternity.
========
Try 23 and me now - here's a 15% discount coupon. It's fun!

Posted by: 23 and me at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (Fcwjq)

168 To solve the mystery, one has to apply Occam's razor.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (m45I2)

169
Some were virtually skinned.


-----

Virtually?

or Literally ???

Posted by: Grammar Nazis at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (8XRCm)

170 that crap about the murders being carefully planned or done with "precision" is all bullshit. FBI profiler John Douglas says that's all crap.

Oh, some of them were. It was a weird mix. Sometimes it was just in the middle of the street mad dash, sometimes it was in a room or a closed off courtyard hidden away and extra time was taken carefully placing and arranging things. That's what has led some to think there might have been more than one.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (39g3+)

171 What's all this I hear about lunatic Berbers?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (Boy/L)

172
Wait!

So you're saying jackstraw is the ripper?

Posted by: Trailer Park Boys at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (GEhPL)

173 Ewegottabefukkinkiddinme.
http://tinyurl.com/y4wlgctv

Posted by: Xipe Totec still banned at rgICo at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (0v57o)

174 But we'll never know the motivation for the Vegas shooter.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (oVJmc)

175 >>>163 3 murders and he's the most famous serial killer? Kinda JV compared to Bundy and the like.

5 "canonical" murders but there are a lot of murders which are kinda-sorta similar that might be Ripper victims. I think there's a list of 16 more possible Ripper killings.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (PbpT7)

176 DIdn't he actually carve some of their faces off? I remember seeing a Mary Kelly photo or someone years ago to that effect.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (VpIIl)

177 76

The Vorlons grabbed Jack a long time ago.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 19, 2019 02:05 PM (aKsyK)

A+ reference.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (LquEv)

178 Also correct, it could have been a cousin or something, which muddles the waters, but would be awfully bizarre for someone ELSE in the close family to also be a murderous freak.



The odds, being THAT astronomical, would be enough to get him convicted in court.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (21UM+)

179 174 But we'll never know the motivation for the Vegas shooter.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles

What shooting?

Posted by: Las Vegas Dept of Tourism at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (FZYNt)

180 It's actually the RNA that is passed down the matriarchal line of a family which means it is less precise. Which means anyone who had this RNA could have done it.

Also correct, it could have been a cousin or something, which muddles the waters, but would be awfully bizarre for someone ELSE in the close family to also be a murderous freak.

-----

I remember seeing some true crime show that had two brothers, one a tranny who killed two women, and the other one killed his wife in a bizarre nut job fashion.

Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (7HtZB)

181 DIdn't he actually carve some of their faces off? I remember seeing a Mary Kelly photo or someone years ago to that effect.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (VpIIl)

Yes, he completely mutilated her

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (OLCnA)

182 175


Was it 5? I always thought it was 3.

Posted by: Some Guy Named Jussie in 1888 at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (VBgjk)

183 "The also found electrolytes an Pink Himalayan Salt.

Pink Himalayan Salt, its got what plants crave!
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:01 PM (39g3+)"

--------------

Some time ago I bought a jar of Pink Himalayan Salt and when I got it home noticed that it said product of South Africa. I had a good laugh over that.

Posted by: Decaf at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (PUz4C)

184 132 108 Still, good to know that 130 years later that the Ripper isn't likely to start up again.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at March 19, 2019 02:03 PM (81OU+)


The Kolchak episode The Ripper begs to differ
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:09 PM (OLCnA)

One of my favorite short horror stories is "Yours Truly, Jack The Ripper" by Robert Bloch, about the Ripper killings being sacrifices to keep him alive through the years
Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (7HtZB)

A very controversial but very good Ripper novel is "The Last Sherlock Holmes Story". Another good one is "The Whitechapel Horrors", also a Sherlock Holmes novel.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (OyyDO)

185 I say it was a cop who was acting as their pimp and when they shorted him that was the end.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (r+sAi)

186 >>>Was it 5? I always thought it was 3.


nope, 5.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (PbpT7)

187 Jack the Ripper was Donald Trump. Vladimir Putin has video of the killings and is using it to control Trump.

Trump liked to dress the prostitutes up like Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton or Debbie Wasserman-Schultz before he killed them because they are the most beautiful women in the world and sick perverts like Trump hate beautiful things.

If only someone would read this on the Internet, put it in a dossier and give it to my husband Bruce.

Posted by: Anonymous Posting on CNN Internet Forum at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (DuAZ5)

188 Ever since I was a kid I thought, just from the names alone, that Jekyll should be the bad guy and Hyde the normal one. Seems I was wrong.

'Jekyll" just sounds more ominous doesn't it?

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (m45I2)

189 179 174 But we'll never know the motivation for the Vegas shooter.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles

What shooting?

Posted by: Las Vegas Dept of Tourism at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (FZYNt)


Of course! That's what I meant!

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (oVJmc)

190 Little-known fact: Jack the Ripper also goes by the names Redjac and Beratis.
========

It's a hunger that never dies!

Kelsa!
Beratis!
Redjac!

Posted by: Sybo at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (vg8iE)

191

But Madame Touseau's WAX MUSEUM with real corpses is real, right?
Or is that a TV thing?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (QuTMi)

192 173 Ewegottabefukkinkiddinme.
http://tinyurl.com/y4wlgctv
Posted by: Xipe Totec still banned at rgICo at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (0v57o)

Befuddles me why they select these effete cocksuckers as their objects of worship.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (NWiLs)

193 No, not a sponge; a shawl. Try to keep up!

Posted by: andycanuck at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (Dh1wo)

194 It couldn't be Trump unless the hookers peed on the bed first.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (oVJmc)

195 Some were virtually skinned.


-----

Virtually?

or Literally ???
Posted by: Grammar Nazis


Indubitably!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (21UM+)

196 Off 1888 Jussie Sock

Posted by: Lurking Lurker at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (VBgjk)

197 Little-known fact: Jack the Ripper also goes by the names Redjac and Beratis.


And he sounds like Piglet!

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (oVJmc)

198 >>This stuff about him being skillful and calculated is all lore and mythology mostly from fiction or semifiction "theories" like Steven Knight's Jack the Ripper, The Final Solution. Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:17 PM (PbpT7)

That was my question. I suspected it might be hyperbole meant to pique interest/outrage, but this seems to confirm it.

Posted by: Zod at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (Bdeb0)

199 >>>190 Little-known fact: Jack the Ripper also goes by the names Redjac and Beratis.
========

It's a hunger that never dies!

Kelsa!
Beratis!
Redjac!

...

is this still that Star Trek episode where Scotty goes all homicidal?

If so, it's another example of Jay Leno's Star Trek bit: They always give you two you know, one you don't know.

Hitler... Napoleon... T'Chai of Rigel V...

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (PbpT7)

200
Yeah, "jeckyl" sounds more menacing. Hyde sounds serene and normal.

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at March 19, 2019 02:23 PM (QuTMi)

201 Shawls covered with blood and jizz. I think you can get those out of vending machines in Japan.

Posted by: Jolo at March 19, 2019 02:23 PM (WrMOC)

202 Jack Tripper.

"Come and knock on my door..."

Posted by: Zod at March 19, 2019 02:23 PM (Bdeb0)

203 'Twas easy to extract a bit of seed from this animalistic vagabond and place it upon the shawl.

In Ordo Templi Orientis

Posted by: William Gull at March 19, 2019 02:23 PM (oZ6kz)

204 5 "canonical" murders but there are a lot of murders which are kinda-sorta similar that might be Ripper victims. I think there's a list of 16 more possible Ripper killings.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (PbpT7)



Wikipedia says 11 killings that ended in 1891, the year that Kominski was locked up

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:23 PM (OLCnA)

205 >>>188 Ever since I was a kid I thought, just from the names alone, that Jekyll should be the bad guy and Hyde the normal one. Seems I was wrong.

'Jekyll" just sounds more ominous doesn't it?

...

I'm sure this will shock people but I can't finish that very short book.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (PbpT7)

206 >>> 3 murders and he's the most famous serial killer? Kinda JV compared to Bundy and the like.
Posted by: Lurking Lurker at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (VBgjk)

It's the rule of becoming a a legend: be first, be best, or be the most prolific. He was one of the first major serial killers in an era when the modern city was ramping up, and it sent the Victorians into a panic.

I am still so disappointed in Sherlock Holmes for never solving the crime. Was he busy grappling with Moriarty or something? And no not in a JK Rowling way.

Posted by: LizLem at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (hvf9s)

207 Where the mishes are xers and xers and xis, Three's Comptranny too!

Posted by: Space Herpes, we'll be here all night at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (4AeKb)

208 188 Ever since I was a kid I thought, just from the names alone, that Jekyll should be the bad guy and Hyde the normal one. Seems I was wrong.

'Jekyll" just sounds more ominous doesn't it?
Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:21 PM (m45I2)

Hmmmmmm

Posted by: Heckle looks at Jekyll suspiciously at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (NgKpN)

209 don't spoil the ending for me!!! I want to figure out who Hyde is for myself!!!

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (PbpT7)

210 Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (PbpT

Heh, visited that one also when I was there. Learned what "Drawn and Quarted" was all about...

Posted by: HH at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (mIJBI)

211 The five most famous ones are the well known but its very likely there were many other, earlier ones. Lots of prostitutes got dead in those days, in bad ways.

I have on my list of "maybe write some time" a Sherlock HOlmes story where he solves the ripper killings, but the cops don't want to listen to him, and since the killer is dead by that point, he just refuses to help them any more or tell anyone except Watson. It fits his personality (he did something similar several times in stories) and there's just no way in hell he wouldn't have been involved, since it was in his active years.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (39g3+)

212
You guys are thinking of the Star Wars episode when Kirk falls in love with that immortal guy's robot girl.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (QuTMi)

213 is this still that Star Trek episode where Scotty goes all homicidal?

If so, it's another example of Jay Leno's Star Trek bit: They always give you two you know, one you don't know.

Hitler... Napoleon... T'Chai of Rigel V...
Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:22 PM (PbpT7)

Is that the one where Scotty repeatedly says "I can't remember Cap'n, " sounding all Scottish?

Posted by: Northern Lurker, irritable, so very irritable. Have I mentioned I'm irritable? at March 19, 2019 02:25 PM (JgA4k)

214 So this Jack the Ripper guy had a horse cock and slayed mish. What's the crime again?

Posted by: literally serious at March 19, 2019 02:25 PM (tRLIC)

215

The Brits have a habit of hammering out the same topics with many different flavors. Prides and Prejudices, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond flicks and tons of Ripper or Jack the Ripper shows.

This should be good. New Jack the Ripper movies and shows where they actually find him, maybe...

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 19, 2019 02:26 PM (vEIlU)

216 deport the Ripper back to Poland, it's not too late.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 19, 2019 02:26 PM (Cus5s)

217 I'm sorry for revealing the Mr. Hyde is really a sled, ace.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:26 PM (oZ6kz)

218
One of my favorite short horror stories is "Yours Truly, Jack The Ripper" by Robert Bloch, about the Ripper killings being sacrifices to keep him alive through the years
Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:12 PM (7HtZB)


Yeah that was a good one

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:26 PM (OLCnA)

219 I'm sure this will shock people but I can't finish that very short book.


Don't bother-- Jekyll did it.


Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:26 PM (oVJmc)

220 180 It's actually the RNA that is passed down the matriarchal line of a family which means it is less precise. Which means anyone who had this RNA could have done it.

Also correct, it could have been a cousin or something, which muddles the waters, but would be awfully bizarre for someone ELSE in the close family to also be a murderous freak.

-----

I remember seeing some true crime show that had two brothers, one a tranny who killed two women, and the other one killed his wife in a bizarre nut job fashion.
Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (7HtZB)

Hadden Clark - he raped & killed a little girl, as well as a grown woman, and his brother Bradfield killed and ate his girlfriend.

Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:26 PM (7HtZB)

221 I'm sure this will shock people but I can't finish that very short book.
=======
We all figured that the last chapter featuring a detailed how-to on home shelving was going to be a no go for you.

In fairness, it did get a bit tedious they way it went on and on about leveling.

Posted by: home improvement morons know at March 19, 2019 02:26 PM (GzxY8)

222 Since people didn't know to protect against dna back then, I think the researchers idea was sound to follow, but I don't think the potential for cross contamination on a hooker can be gotten by.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 19, 2019 02:27 PM (r+sAi)

223 >>> What's all this I hear about lunatic Berbers?

'E stole my gig!

Posted by: Sweeney Todd at March 19, 2019 02:27 PM (hvf9s)

224 I'm sure this will shock people but I can't finish that very short book.

This is painful for me to admit, as Robert Louis Stevenson is one of my all time favorite authors, but... its not really that good a story. Great setup and concept, great idea, but he tells it very slowly over a long period of time when its a short story at most.

Another one of my favorite authors Loren Estleman did a pastiche where Sherlock Holmes solves the case but because the tale takes literally years to tell, Holmes has to be involved in odd times, get nowhere, put it aside, get back to it later... and its incredibly unsatisfying and disappointing.

Read The Tale of the Sanguinary Count (Sherlock Holmes vs Dracula) instead. Great book.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:27 PM (39g3+)

225 The biggest problem with this is that... nobody knows if the blood on the shawl belongs to the killer or not. Its just blood from an unknown donor at the scene. As sloppy as the police were with this case, one of THEM might have dropped it.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

So it's blood remains. Why would blood be incidental to a prior meeting between a tradesman and a prostitute? And on a shawl?


Even if there was 'contamination', would that result in a match, or in a muddled result?

Supposedly what they tested matched a descendant.

Posted by: Blue Hen at March 19, 2019 02:27 PM (6rX0K)

226 I don't know a whole lot about gene testing but a reasonably close match on a strong suspect would seem to make misidentification a stretch.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:27 PM (dy5uS)

227 Let's rip this whore, Pooh!

Posted by: piglet at March 19, 2019 02:27 PM (Dh1wo)

228
don't spoil the ending for me!!! I want to figure out who Hyde is for myself!!!
Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:24 PM (PbpT7)

----

Well watch "The Mummy" then, the one with Tom Cruise in it.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:28 PM (8XRCm)

229 so that shawl was inspiration for the Metallica album cover?

Posted by: Rick in SK at March 19, 2019 02:28 PM (FZYNt)

230 The Brits have a habit of hammering out the same topics with many different flavors. Prides and Prejudices, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond flicks and tons of Ripper or Jack the Ripper shows.

This should be good. New Jack the Ripper movies and shows where they actually find him, maybe...
Posted by: artisanal 'ette


They'll never find him.

Pssssst. He's hiding on Oak Island.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 02:28 PM (21UM+)

231 Write it, Chris Taylor! I'd love to see your take.

Posted by: LizLem at March 19, 2019 02:28 PM (hvf9s)

232 I watched an episode of Ripper Street yesterday. It's one of the darker series around.

Posted by: Northern Lurker, irritable, so very irritable. Have I mentioned I'm irritable? at March 19, 2019 02:28 PM (JgA4k)

233
Wasn't one of the rumors that he started killing the prostitutes because he caught a disease from them? Maybe Jack had spotted dick and that sent him off the deep end

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (OLCnA)

234 So the fact that the Ripper cut them to pieces adds a whole new layer of meaning to "Shave and a haircut...to bits!"

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (m45I2)

235 I remember seeing some true crime show that had two brothers, one a tranny who killed two women, and the other one killed his wife in a bizarre nut job fashion.

Yeah it happens, whole families go weird at once. But its not very good odds.

Stephen Hunter (author of the Swaggert Shooter books) wrote a Jack the Ripper novel that is pretty interesting and involved, and has a great mystery and twist on the concept but the biggest problem is that much of the book is written from the perspective OF the ripper and its so gruesome and horrific its very, very difficult to read. He's more graphic than you would imagine was possible. Plus the final revelation by that point is so blatantly obvious that you're wondering how the protagonist could possibly be so dull witted and blind

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (39g3+)

236 Jews are rarely serial killers. We prefer to slowly kill a man by attacking his credit score.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (oZ6kz)

237 Shave and a haircut...to bits!"
Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (m45I2)

----

The man. He never disappoints.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (8XRCm)

238 i checked out of Jekyll and Hyde when after like seventy pages the only "crimes" Hyde had committed was being rude to someone who called out to him and rushing past a woman on the street with a force so great as to knock her from her feet.

What the fuck? Okay, dick move, but I'm not on the edge of my seat waiting for this villain to be unmasked.

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (PbpT7)

239 The "Yours Truly, Jack The Ripper" episode of the old Boris Karloff series Thriller

https://youtu.be/CtILSL5bDsY

Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (7HtZB)

240 181 DIdn't he actually carve some of their faces off? I remember seeing a Mary Kelly photo or someone years ago to that effect.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:19 PM (VpIIl)

Yes, he completely mutilated her
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:20 PM (OLCnA)

The Mary Kelly photo is one of those times you're glad they didn't have color photography yet. With her, he took his time. He enjoyed it. And in the picture her eyes are open staring at you. Yeesh.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 02:31 PM (OyyDO)

241 >>>This stuff about him being skillful and calculated is all lore and mythology

As a barber, he probably had some nice sharp blades.. "Look at how the murder weapon cut the victim like butter" becomes "this is the precision scalpel cut of a master surgeon!"

Posted by: wooga at March 19, 2019 02:31 PM (5CvBx)

242 Will Thomas had (SPOILER):


identified AK as the ripper in one of his Barker novels. Thomas wrote at the end that AK was also thought to have been the killer by one of the detectives investigating.

Posted by: LR at March 19, 2019 02:31 PM (/FSsZ)

243 Let's rip this whore, Pooh!
Posted by: piglet

Posted by: Reason#698 why the Horde is going to Hell at March 19, 2019 02:31 PM (6rX0K)

244 Like for seventy pages, people are yapping, "And I called out to him, 'Sir, do you have the time?' and he totally ignored me! But he ignored me with such an animalistic viciousness that I shall not soon forget the feral rudeness etched upon his face!!"

lol get fucked

when do the murders start

Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:32 PM (PbpT7)

245 Ace you don't get it. He SMIRKED at them.

The fiend.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:32 PM (oZ6kz)

246 Alaska did it?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:32 PM (oVJmc)

247 There are quite a number of problems with this:

1. It's not new. It was published and publicized in 2014. It's making the rounds again because yesterday it was published in a peer-reviewed scientific journal. Well, the peers reviewed it and they say it's rubbish.

2. Back in 2014 the evidence got the inevitable Discovery Channel special. Just as every few years there's some "blockbuster" new evidence claiming to have found Amelia Earhart, so it goes with the Ripper case.

3. Mitochondrial DNA is matrilineal, meaning it's passed down through the female line. The suspect, Kosminski, couldn't have passed down any MtDNA to compare the shawl with. Because, you know, being a man and all.

4. The shawl has been hopelessly compromised by being handled and examined by laymen who don't realize proper procedures for protecting DNA testing material. It was even held bare-handed by the relatives whose DNA they were supposed to be comparing it against!

5. There are a couple of psychological insights against Kosminski being the killer. He was undoubtedly a very sick man, but that doesn't necessarily a serial killer make. Statistically he would be younger than most male serial killers. The average age of first kill is 28. Kosminiski was 23. Also a pathology as severe as the Ripper's becomes addicted to the thrill and the power of killing. They don't just stop. If it was Kosminski that means he went two years without committing a murder until he was institutionalized in 1891? Unlikely.

I'm not saying it wasn't Kosminski, only that I think it's unlikely and this "new" DNA evidence is complete shit. In my opinion it was a some itinerant East End laborer unknown to history. He'll never be known because he probably lived and died in complete obscurity.

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at March 19, 2019 02:32 PM (3ufaJ)

248 I heard Beto did them.

Posted by: Les Kinetic at March 19, 2019 02:32 PM (+fPHo)

249 Write it, Chris Taylor! I'd love to see your take.

It would be a short story, Holmes would take about three hours to solve it. Seriously, the cops were godawful about this one.

I have written a Holmes short story already
http://tinyurl.com/yyb2am4v

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:33 PM (39g3+)

250 230 The Brits have a habit of hammering out the same topics with many different flavors. Prides and Prejudices, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond flicks and tons of Ripper or Jack the Ripper shows.

This should be good. New Jack the Ripper movies and shows where they actually find him, maybe...
Posted by: artisanal 'ette

Betrays a certain lack of originality.

Does anyone else find it odd that baudy entertainment(Shakespeare, especially the ironic cross dressing bits) became regarded as high culture? In a few hundred years the same thing could happen with a pornhub series.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:33 PM (dy5uS)

251 Mr Hyde is one of those characters that has been done better by successors.

Posted by: steevy at March 19, 2019 02:33 PM (BXMxN)

252 244 Like for seventy pages, people are yapping, "And I called out to him, 'Sir, do you have the time?' and he totally ignored me! But he ignored me with such an animalistic viciousness that I shall not soon forget the feral rudeness etched upon his face!!"

lol get fucked

when do the murders start
Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:32 PM (PbpT7)

Right after he puts on the MAGA hat, of course!

Posted by: Don Q at March 19, 2019 02:33 PM (NgKpN)

253
The Mary Kelly photo is one of those times you're glad they didn't have color photography yet. With her, he took his time. He enjoyed it. And in the picture her eyes are open staring at you. Yeesh.

Posted by: Kris
__________________

Wait!!!!!

jackstraw killed Megan Kelly?1/1!?!!?

Posted by: Trailer Park Boys at March 19, 2019 02:33 PM (GEhPL)

254 So much for my theory that Christopher Marlowe did it.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:33 PM (37IEG)

255

This guy could also be DB Cooper, for all I care.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (QuTMi)

256 Well whoever did it, it was clearly Trump's fault.

Posted by: Space Herpes, we'll be here all night at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (4AeKb)

257 I heard Beto did them.


He does have restless hands.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (oVJmc)

258 Great, now I'm trying to stifle an uproarious laugh at my desk as I imagine the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood planning to kill some hookers.

Eeyore has his doubts they'll get away with it, but Tigger's got a spring in his step as he imagines her death mask.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (oZ6kz)

259 216 deport the Ripper back to Poland, it's not too late.
__________________

Certainly it's too late! Illegal alien criminals can never be deported! It's international law! We decree it to be so!

Posted by: 9th Circuit Clown Show at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (fqUgw)

260
To solve the mystery, one has to apply Occam's razor.
Posted by: Muldoon


Occam Soccam Robots

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 19, 2019 02:35 PM (aKsyK)

261 Conductor Betoven?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:35 PM (37IEG)

262 I liked Ripper Street. Set in Whitechapel in the years following the Ripper killings, as the police force was entering a new age of detection and techniques. Tense, moody and violent, well written, well acted. I recommend it, but not for the faint of heart.

Posted by: Muldoon at March 19, 2019 02:35 PM (m45I2)

263 Wasn't one of the rumors that he started killing the prostitutes because he caught a disease from them? Maybe Jack had spotted dick and that sent him off the deep end
Posted by: TheQuietMan


Syphilis or the clap, prior to penicillin would send you off the deep end.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 02:35 PM (21UM+)

264 257 I heard Beto did them.
_______________

While skateboarding!

Posted by: Robert Francis O'Rourke at March 19, 2019 02:35 PM (fqUgw)

265 Have they retconned Jack the Ripper to a tranny yet?

Posted by: blaster at March 19, 2019 01:57 PM (9VeU0)

The anime Case Closed did that for a "Sherlock Holmes meets the Ripper in a video game" movies 10 or 15 years ago.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (uquGJ)

266 258 Great, now I'm trying to stifle an uproarious laugh at my desk as I imagine the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood planning to kill some hookers.

Eeyore has his doubts they'll get away with it, but Tigger's got a spring in his step as he imagines her death mask.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (oZ6kz)

Its OK, Detective Owl is busy trying to figure out how many licks for a tootsie... pop.

Posted by: Don Q at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (NgKpN)

267 Jekyll and Hyde isn't really a crime story but more introspective as I recall. It may also have been an analogy for alcohol, but its been a long time since I read it.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (dy5uS)

268 Hey, I was long dead at the time! That "reckoning in a little room" shit. You know, stabbed through the eye over the bar tab?

Posted by: Zombie Christopher Marlowe at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (4AeKb)

269
Jack Ripper was in an episode of Babylon 5.
He was taken by aliens and rehabilitated, and made immortal.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (QuTMi)

270 Conductor Betoven?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:35 PM (37IEG)


Roll over and tell Tchaikovsky the news

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (OLCnA)

271 I liked Ripper Street. Set in Whitechapel in the years following the Ripper killings, as the police force was entering a new age of detection and techniques. Tense, moody and violent, well written, well acted. I recommend it, but not for the faint of heart.
Posted by: Muldoon


Agreed, though I think that they struggled in ending it.

Posted by: Reason#698 why the Horde is going to Hell at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (6rX0K)

272 I would have just run the whores over with a car!

Posted by: Beta O'Rourke at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (r+sAi)

273 101 I find it fascinating that this has resurfaced. Back in 2014 when this guys's book and evidence came to light, I read up on his theory, and weirdly a lot of the evidence and timing made sense. It is not a bad theory. But All The Correct People hastily rushed to condemn it, and say that they refused to believe he was the killer, BECAUSE he was Jewish, and indulging the theory would bring about a rise in antisemitism. Or because he was an immigrant, that would lead to a rise in anti-immigrant sentiment.

So at least in my literary/Ripperologist circles, they refused to accept it and memory holed it. Nevermind science and possible facts, we will kill any theories inconvenient to our narrative that it cannot be this guy.

No, I am not kidding you.

If someone needs Ripper to sort out in their twisted, racist pea brains that Jews are responsible for all the evil in the world, they belong in the same asylum Kominski was thrown in.

*side eyes the new antisemitic DNC*
Posted by: LizLem at March 19, 2019 02:08 PM (hvf9s)

____________
Good Sir or Madam,

The reason the Jewish part is relevant isn't a some weather machine nonsense it's because as I noted in my memoirs the reason I couldn't prove Kominski did it was that the witness would not testify because he was also Jewish and did not want to carry the guilt of presenting evidence responsible for the execution of a fellow Jew.

Harrumph

Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (wQMQx)

274 I liked Ripper Street. Set in Whitechapel in the years following the Ripper killings, as the police force was entering a new age of detection and techniques

Its an interesting fantasy but so dark and grim and awful and filled with betrayal, misery, and horror its just not my cup of tea. Plus, they are advancing too far, too fast, and the American is some kind of omnipotent god of all things which is a character that really grates on me.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:37 PM (39g3+)

275 257
I heard Beto did them.





He does have restless hands.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (oVJmc)

That's not restless. That's maniacal. Is he hopped up on goofballs or something?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:37 PM (t6MX/)

276 DB Cooper killed Amelia Earhart. Known fact.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 19, 2019 02:37 PM (r+sAi)

277 Those scags wouldn't give me a butt rub, so they had to die.

Posted by: Beto at March 19, 2019 02:38 PM (oZ6kz)

278 If only FDR had been there with his Tesla, he could have stopped all this.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:38 PM (37IEG)

279
The Frankenstein Chronicles, anyone?

How about that macabre tv series with Eva Green?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:38 PM (QuTMi)

280 Jekyll and Hyde isn't really a crime story but more introspective as I recall. It may also have been an analogy for alcohol, but its been a long time since I read it.

Its a morality tale about a man trying to separate his evil side from himself. But his evil side is small and not very impressive (literally, its dwarfish). And aside from being very nasty, it takes a very long time to do anything one would really consider especially criminal.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:38 PM (39g3+)

281 190 It's a hunger that never dies!

Kelsa!
Beratis!
Redjac!


good thing i have an alibi.

Posted by: Bortus from the Orville at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (sGtp+)

282 232 I watched an episode of Ripper Street yesterday. It's one of the darker series around.
Posted by: Northern Lurker, irritable, so very irritable. Have I mentioned I'm irritable? at March 19, 2019 02:28 PM (JgA4k)

Good series, but the last season goes all to hell.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (OyyDO)

283 Have we discussed Josie Canseco? Yep, Jose's daughter. Total smoke show with whom I would take long walks on the beach.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (sjdRT)

284 the ripper did not bleed
he must be freed!

Posted by: Sir John Cockran, Esquire at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (ufFY8)

285 The Frankenstein Chronicles, anyone?

Fantastic show. I hope that they do another season, though I doubt it.

Posted by: Reason#698 why the Horde is going to Hell at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (6rX0K)

286 If only FDR had been there with his Tesla, he could have stopped all this.

"ackshually.... FDR was born years after the Ripper killings, and so you're wrong Trumptard!"
--Raimondo

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (39g3+)

287 Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (wQMQx)



What's with the negative waves?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (OLCnA)

288 236
Jews are rarely serial killers. We prefer to slowly kill a man by attacking his credit score.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:30 PM (oZ6kz)

lol

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (t6MX/)

289 Muad'dib, is she juicing?

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (oZ6kz)

290 Great, now I'm trying to stifle an uproarious laugh at my desk as I imagine the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood planning to kill some hookers.

Eeyore has his doubts they'll get away with it, but Tigger's got a spring in his step as he imagines her death mask.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (oZ6kz)

--------------

Safe for work..

http://tinyurl.com/y6b2aauc

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (8XRCm)

291 So it's conclusive then, this Kominski guy killed Madeleine McCann?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:40 PM (37IEG)

292 269
Jack Ripper was in an episode of Babylon 5.
He was taken by aliens and rehabilitated, and made immortal.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (QuTMi)

The Vorlons, and made an Inquisitor. Tortured and tested Delenn's motives and loyalty.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at March 19, 2019 02:40 PM (LquEv)

293 The Japanese are less obsessed with Jack The Ripper than you'd imagine them to be.

If he was a German serial killer he'd be in every other anime.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:40 PM (oZ6kz)

294 Bad idea to search for Jack The Ripper pron.

Posted by: literally serious at March 19, 2019 02:41 PM (tRLIC)

295 To recap, it was Jackstraw, with semem and a shawl, in MAGA country.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:41 PM (t6MX/)

296 "Kosminski, couldn't have passed down any MtDN"

but if the research was careful, they would know where the relatives they used for comparison came from ... the Ripper could have been a grandparent ... so Ripper's sister or mother ... and a daughter or two, would give what they needed, right?

Posted by: illiniwek at March 19, 2019 02:41 PM (Cus5s)

297 Kelsa!
Beratis!
Redjac!

good thing i have an alibi.
Posted by: Bortus from the Orville at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (sGtp+)

-----

I actually kinda like that show...

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:41 PM (8XRCm)

298 Remember when Jeff Bezos accused Trump and Saudi Arabia of collusion in getting his text messages and evidence of his affair published in the Enquirer? I believe the term extortion was thrown around. Turns out the texts were acquired via the mistresses brother. Bezos is nutz.

https://www.conservativereview.com/?p=40278

Posted by: Dr Spank at March 19, 2019 02:41 PM (P1AAi)

299

Quincy, M.E.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (aKsyK)

300 But what did he do with all the money he took when he bailed out of that plane?

Didn't he also kill Amelia Earhart?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (37IEG)

301 Have we already talked about Trout's contract. I just saw. Wow.

Posted by: SH at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (sX1BW)

302 Great, now I'm trying to stifle an uproarious laugh at my desk as I imagine the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood planning to kill some hookers.

Eeyore has his doubts they'll get away with it, but Tigger's got a spring in his step as he imagines her death mask.
Posted by: Broseidon


*snort

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (21UM+)

303 I watched an episode of Ripper Street yesterday. It's one of the darker series around.
Posted by: Northern Lurker, irritable, so very irritable. Have I mentioned I'm irritable? at March 19, 2019 02:28 PM (JgA4k)


I liked it. I haven't finished the series, but watched a lot of it. Yes, dark. Lots of sadness.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (vEIlU)

304 Seems homosexuals or latent homosexuals angry at women make up the largest percentage of serial killers.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (7PXtO)

305 OMG, they killed Madeleine Kahn? You bastards!

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama-Butcher at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (zxzKH)

306 Yawn. This is like the 5th or 6th guy they've claimed to be the Real Jack.
By the way, in the age of "Global Warming" the whole idea of "Peer Review" is now worthless.

Posted by: Agemt Cooper at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (k76MH)

307 >289
Muad'dib, is she juicing?

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (oZ6kz)


Snort.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (sjdRT)

308
Oh yeah, that show with Samantha Carter from SG-1 that fastly and loosely appropriated all kindzz of historicl figures.

For instance, Tesla was, get this, a vampire!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (QuTMi)

309 Well, damn.

I was hoping it would turn out to be Trump.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 19, 2019 02:43 PM (8u1cU)

310

Sanctuary?

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:43 PM (QuTMi)

311 Great, now I'm trying to stifle an uproarious laugh at my desk as I imagine the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood planning to kill some hookers.

Eeyore has his doubts they'll get away with it, but Tigger's got a spring in his step as he imagines her death mask.
Posted by: Broseidon



They'll celebrate with ham sammiches when they're done.

Wait! Where's piglet?

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 02:43 PM (21UM+)

312 The wonderful thing about Tiggers that the Face of Tigger shall be the last thing you see before you die.

Posted by: Tigger the Blade at March 19, 2019 02:43 PM (PbpT7)

313 285 The Frankenstein Chronicles, anyone?

Fantastic show. I hope that they do another season, though I doubt it.
Posted by: Reason#698 why the Horde is going to Hell at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (6rX0K)

Puts a new spin on the old "Sean Bean gets killed in the first season/movie" meme.

Posted by: josephistan at March 19, 2019 02:43 PM (7HtZB)

314 The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that by murdering you I will make you my zombie in Hell.

Posted by: Tigger the Blade at March 19, 2019 02:44 PM (PbpT7)

315 87 Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 02:36 PM (wQMQx)



What's with the negative waves?
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 19, 2019 02:39 PM (OLCnA)

__________
A wave is both positive and negative depending upon whether it is measured in crest or trough.
As any gentleman educated in mathematics should know.

Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 02:44 PM (wQMQx)

316 Have we already talked about Trout's contract. I just saw. Wow.

Not yet but yeah. Over a billion dollars in contracts have been handed out this off season, and they aren't done yet. I mean nobody is going to top Trout's but there's big money out there gonna be paid out.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:44 PM (39g3+)

317 244 Like for seventy pages, people are yapping, "And I called out to him, 'Sir, do you have the time?' and he totally ignored me! But he ignored me with such an animalistic viciousness that I shall not soon forget the feral rudeness etched upon his face!!"

lol get fucked

when do the murders start
Posted by: ace at March 19, 2019 02:32 PM (PbpT7)

I don't remember a thing about Jekell and Hyde, only that I was disappointed with it. It was supposed to be a classic. Same with Dracula. What a crappy ending. And the narration by letters format was annoying. Frankenstein was much better.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 02:44 PM (OyyDO)

318 If I were Trout, I'd have taken less money to play somewhere other than the Angels, though.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 02:45 PM (39g3+)

319
Seems homosexuals or latent homosexuals angry at women make up the largest percentage of serial killers.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation
__________________

This is about me, isn't it?

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 19, 2019 02:45 PM (GEhPL)

320
For instance, Tesla was, get this, a vampire!
Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (QuTMi)

----

And... for that... he has to DIE!!!

Posted by: Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Killer at March 19, 2019 02:45 PM (8XRCm)

321 Kelsa!
Beratis!
Redjac!
---
Affefflalegm!

Posted by: Ash from Army of Darkness at March 19, 2019 02:45 PM (vDqXW)

322

Remember my most imaginative creation. Bombies.

Zombies that are also bombs. Bombies.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:46 PM (QuTMi)

323 The graphic novel 'From Hell' is a fun bit of fan fiction.
I wouldn't take it as gospel but Alan Moore did a ton of research and he brings the time period to life.

But total fiction, enjoyable if you approach it like that.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:46 PM (YDxg9)

324 278
If only FDR had been there with his Tesla, he could have stopped all this.


Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:38 PM (37IEG)


I would love to see FDR in Corey Haim's Rocket Chair from the movie Silver Bullet

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at March 19, 2019 02:46 PM (ymnmz)

325 You have to like how Trout does all this without the publicity that Harper needs to generate. Signed his first big deal quietly early. Lived up to it. Then signed this out of the blue. Just plays the game. And plays it well.

Posted by: SH at March 19, 2019 02:46 PM (sX1BW)

326 Vampire electric cars?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:46 PM (37IEG)

327 And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.

Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)

328 If I were Trout, I'd have taken less money to play somewhere other than the Angels, though.

-------------

I respect what he does - sticking with the Angels. But I also wish he was with a higher profile team.

Posted by: SH at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (sX1BW)

329 Why are we listening to foreign sick scientists?

Posted by: Emily Latella at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (vDqXW)

330 Yeah, Trout is not very good as a celeb spokesman. I think he's just uncomfortable with it. I suppose he's as humble as you can be as the best baseball player in the world who just got a $430 million dollar contract.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (oZ6kz)

331 327
And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.



Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)
Call them an ethnic slur, instant Italian Beef.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:48 PM (37IEG)

332 So I did some looking into it and it appears the serum in Jekyll Hyde isn't a metaphor for alcohol, its not a metaphor for anything. Its just a magical serum.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:48 PM (dy5uS)

333 331 327
And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.



Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)
Call them an ethnic slur, instant Italian Beef.
Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:48 PM (37IEG)

ISWYDT

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:48 PM (YDxg9)

334 Eeyore has his doubts they'll get away with it, but Tigger's got a spring in his step as he imagines her death mask.

Posted by: Broseidon


So Tigger is actually Spring Heeled Jack?
Was this research peer reviewed?

Posted by: Agemt Cooper at March 19, 2019 02:48 PM (k76MH)

335 Mark, go to Gyu-kaku and eat yourself into a meat coma.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (oZ6kz)

336 167 I'm especially not fond of how easy it is to collect and keep, not just physically, but legally. They can get your DNA from any of a host of possibilities, and keep it on file for eternity.
========
Try 23 and me now - here's a 15% discount coupon. It's fun!
Posted by: 23 and me at March 19, 2019 02:18 PM (Fcwjq)


I've been tempted to send my dog's DNA. Just out of curiosity as to what they'd make of it.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (6b1dn)

337 Zombies that are also bombs. Bombies.
Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:46 PM (QuTMi)

-----

Boombies.

Boombies would be a better name for marketing.

Posted by: Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Killer at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (8XRCm)

338 Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:37 PM (t6MX/)

At the very least he's "hopped up" onto the serving counter whenever he's at a bar/restaurant. Does he think putting his feet where people are trying to get their food makes him relatable?

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (uquGJ)

339 Watched a new series on serial killers yesterday. The episode was on Democrat John Wayne Gacy. 33 known victims.

He was a homosexual and serial killer and still managed to find two , not hideous women who would marry him. I know some great guys that want to get married but can't find a woman. The world is weird.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (7PXtO)

340 327
And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.



Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)

Pro tip: Don't get shot.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (t6MX/)

341 301 Have we already talked about Trout's contract. I just saw. Wow.
Posted by: SH at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (sX1BW)
-------

I heard.

$430,000,000.00

Guaranteed. That's some serious coin.

Posted by: WisRich at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (G0vdT)

342 Tim Powers wraps all this up in Anubis Gates.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (37IEG)

343 "Was this research peer reviewed?

Posted by: Agemt Cooper at March 19, 2019 02:48 PM (k76MH)"

Mitochrondrial DNA from Kanga indeed proves that Tigger killed those limey skanks.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:50 PM (oZ6kz)

344 "He was a homosexual and serial killer and still managed to find two , not hideous women who would marry him. I know some great guys that want to get married but can't find a woman. The world is weird.
Posted by: Can't resist temptation at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (7PXtO)"

They liked that he was good with children.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:51 PM (oZ6kz)

345 Was this research peer reviewed?

-------------

No, but there is a consensus. So ... very sciency.

Posted by: SH at March 19, 2019 02:51 PM (sX1BW)

346 Mitochrondrial DNA from Kanga indeed proves that Tigger killed those limey skanks.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 02:50 PM (oZ6kz)

He was jealous of my 100 acre wood.

Posted by: Pooh at March 19, 2019 02:51 PM (t6MX/)

347 Jekell and Hyde was playing at a theatre in London during the Ripper murders. The cops suspected the main actor, an American, for a while. His portrayal of Hyde was so sensational that they thought maybe he wasn't acting -- and cuz he was American.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (OyyDO)

348 Vic remains in the clear.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (HAr7n)

349 294 Bad idea to search for Jack The Ripper pron.
Posted by: literally serious at March 19, 2019 02:41 PM (tRLIC)


I wasn't planning to, and now I'm definitely not planning to.

Posted by: rickl at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (xjiRE)

350 And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.

Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)

----------------------

Try to find a Portillo's. Have the Italian Beef and Sausage combo sandwich, dipped (in beef juice). Save room for a couple of Chicago dogs for dessert. Good grief, I would almost kill for that right now.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (ffYR/)

351 Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (QuTMi)

Sanctuary? I liked the first couple of seasons of that.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (uquGJ)

352
He was a homosexual and serial killer and still managed to find two , not hideous women who would marry him. I know some great guys that want to get married but can't find a woman. The world is weird.

Posted by: Can't resist temptation at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (7PXtO)

Serial killers, school shooters, and murderers in general receive lots of love letters(like Manson), more so than such uninteresting blokes as firemen or doctors. The Bible tells us the heart is desperately wicked.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (dy5uS)

353 "but if the research was careful, they would know where the relatives they used for comparison came from ... the Ripper could have been a grandparent ... so Ripper's sister or mother ... and a daughter or two, would give what they needed, right?"

Yes but then you're drifting away, forensically speaking, from the actual suspect to relatives. And since MtDNA can mutate over time, this becomes problematic. Chromosomal DNA is much more reliable as an identifier than MtDNA. Here's Forbes today pretty much shitting on this whole thing:

https://tinyurl.com/yxkyuzcw

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at March 19, 2019 02:53 PM (3ufaJ)

354 340 327
And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.



Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)

Pro tip: Don't get shot.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (t6MX/)

Tell me about it. And this not, shall we say, a gun friendly town. So I'm traveling mostly naked.

There are Lefty Progaganda signs everywhere: Careers for Environmental Justice, 'Straws suck', 'Lean Forward'....at least the latter has a hot fitness babe on the poster.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:53 PM (YDxg9)

355 And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.



Cheebugger Cheebugger!


No Coke. Pepsi.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at March 19, 2019 02:53 PM (HAr7n)

356 Here's a deal for ya Liz. We go to a national vote and we let CA, OR and WA form their own country.

Posted by: REDACTED at March 19, 2019 02:53 PM (RZ6R1)

357 So Tigger is actually Spring Heeled Jack?
Was this research peer reviewed?

Posted by: Agemt Cooper at March 19, 2019 02:48 PM (k76MH)


It was peer-to-peer reviewed ... which is twice as good.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (YJn4J)

358 I warned you people. But did you listen? No........

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo...Anti-Semite at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (wYseH)

359 I'm going to need the Jupiter, FL PD's take on this to be certain.

Posted by: SH at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (sX1BW)

360 347 Jekell and Hyde was playing at a theatre in London during the Ripper murders. The cops suspected the main actor, an American, for a while. His portrayal of Hyde was so sensational that they thought maybe he wasn't acting -- and cuz he was American.

Posted by: Kris at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (OyyDO)

So they suspect the one non homosexual in all of Britain, of course.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (dy5uS)

361 KellyAnne Conway is married to Webster Hubbell?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (37IEG)

362 My God. What the hell have you people done to England?
Did the Raj rebel and invade?
Where the hell is the Navy?
Why are all the Scottsmen living on housing schemes?

This is a nightmare!

Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (wQMQx)

363 If the sauce don't match, you've preserved a bad batch!

Posted by: Fritz at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (2Mnv1)

364 356
Here's a deal for ya Liz. We go to a national vote and we let CA, OR and WA form their own country.

Posted by: REDACTED at March 19, 2019 02:53 PM (RZ6R1)

F that. They get nothing.

Posted by: Pooh at March 19, 2019 02:55 PM (t6MX/)

365 And since MtDNA can mutate over time, this becomes problematic.


Slowly though. It's useful for measuring the migration of peoples over thousands of years.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at March 19, 2019 02:55 PM (HAr7n)

366 lol. Someone asked a question about McCain at the end of the press conference with Brazilian President Bolosanro. Trump ain't backing down. He ended with "I was never a fan of John McCain and I never will be". LMFAO

Meggy MCCain just ate a box of Twinkies.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:55 PM (VpIIl)

367 >350
And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.



Still need to get an Italian Beef.



Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)



----------------------



Try to find a Portillo's. Have the Italian Beef and Sausage combo
sandwich, dipped (in beef juice). Save room for a couple of Chicago dogs
for dessert. Good grief, I would almost kill for that right now.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (ffYR/)


I agree with CM on Portillos. I would cut a democrat for a Chicago Dog right now. I'm a huge fan of Chicago deep dish pizza. My go-to place for that is Giordanos.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 19, 2019 02:55 PM (sjdRT)

368 Oh yeah, that show with Samantha Carter from SG-1 that fastly and loosely appropriated all kindzz of historicl figures.



For instance, Tesla was, get this, a vampire!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at March 19, 2019 02:42 PM (QuTMi)



Sanctuary was pretty good in the beginning. Somehow I faded out from that series. I can't remember if I stopped watching, or it just ended. I can't remember.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 19, 2019 02:56 PM (9Om/r)

369 I also remember reading somewhere that there are basically seven lines of mitochondrial DNA. "The Seven Daughters of Eve" theory or some such.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at March 19, 2019 02:56 PM (HAr7n)

370 362 My God. What the hell have you people done to England?
Did the Raj rebel and invade?
Where the hell is the Navy?
Why are all the Scottsmen living on housing schemes?

This is a nightmare!

Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (wQMQx)

This is pretty good stuff. Could make a short story.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:56 PM (dy5uS)

371
So I'm traveling mostly naked.

Come to my neighborhood!

Posted by: Jussie Smollet at March 19, 2019 02:56 PM (aKsyK)

372
I'm a huge fan of Chicago deep dish pizza.

----

First.

THAT aint pizza.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:57 PM (8XRCm)

373 Hoooooboy. Begun, the pizza wars have.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 19, 2019 02:57 PM (sjdRT)

374 Chicago style is a tasty, filling casserole.

Posted by: Actual Pizza at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (AzW6q)

375 Come to my neighborhood!
Posted by: Jussie Smollet at March 19, 2019 02:56 PM (aKsyK)

----

No effin way.

Thats MAGA country.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (8XRCm)

376 THAT aint pizza.


It's a pizza PIE.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (HAr7n)

377 I'm a huge fan of Chicago deep dish pizza.

----

First.

THAT aint pizza.
Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:57 PM (8XRCm)

---------------------------

It is not just pizza. It is pizza that proves God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (ffYR/)

378 Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)

Seafood. Hit Shaws Crab House, then go down the block for steak at Bennys

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (VpIIl)

379
Chicago style is a tasty, filling casserole.
Posted by: Actual Pizza at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (AzW6q)

-----

Or a sammich....

Or a bread bowl....

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 02:59 PM (8XRCm)

380 350 And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.

Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)

----------------------

Try to find a Portillo's. Have the Italian Beef and Sausage combo sandwich, dipped (in beef juice). Save room for a couple of Chicago dogs for dessert. Good grief, I would almost kill for that right now.
Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:52 PM (ffYR/)

Thanks man, there's one about 7 blocks from the hotel, I'll make an effort to get there

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (YDxg9)

381 So, we're able to 'solve' the case of Jack the Ripper 130+ years after his last victim.

The mystery of the whereabouts of 10's of thousands of Felonious vonPantsuit's highly classified emails? Still very much a mystery.

Posted by: DocJ at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (NYS7S)

382 And I'm at work in Chicago this week. Lots of food choices, so far no real winners yet.

Still need to get an Italian Beef.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 02:47 PM (YDxg9)


Big Al's and Portillo's are solid choices, although if you are downtown, Mr. Beef (which is a single location, not a chain) is very good too.

The Amazing Ribs website has a recipe for Italian beef for do-it-yourselfers, but at the bottom is also a list of highly rated restaurants serving Italian beef: http://tinyurl.com/y2q7n8js .

Posted by: HTL at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (3oh1r)

383
57

I thought for sure it was Gary Condit.

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Raniere at March 19, 2019 02:02 PM (qg4Pq)


Can Beevis, er, Butthead, I mean Joe "One of My Interns Was Murdered" Scarborough account for his whereabouts at the time of these killings?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (pNxlR)

384 Seth Rich killing: beyond police, can't be solved, total mystery.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (39g3+)

385 366 lol. Someone asked a question about McCain at the end of the press conference with Brazilian President Bolosanro. Trump ain't backing down. He ended with "I was never a fan of John McCain and I never will be". LMFAO

Meggy MCCain just ate a box of Twinkies.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:55 PM (VpIIl)


Why are women today so massive? Have we become pagan cannibals in this horrid future? Are they fattening up the Meggy before feasting upon her at moonlight?

And when did Mexico re-conquer the southwestern USA?

This horrid future you have awakened me to is barbaric. Put me back down and only awaken me when Jesus returns.

Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 03:01 PM (wQMQx)

386 I have read all the comments and have nothing to add.

Posted by: Brody at March 19, 2019 03:01 PM (4Eo4+)

387 By the way, of course I added that last paragraph to the quote just for fun. Because lies are fun (the media taught me that!).

-------

HA! I'd make Ace some shelves if the opportunity ever arose.

Posted by: Seems legit at March 19, 2019 03:01 PM (jUVms)

388 Why are all the Scottsmen living on housing schemes?

This is a nightmare!

Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 02:54 PM (wQMQx)

If Scottish Independence gets floated again I will laugh myself sick if the Scots fall for going their own way. They currently have the perfect way to raid the Brit treasury with out all the danger and bother of *actual* raiding. If they gave that up for pride they'd be kicking themselves quickly (really, England should be encouraging them to leave and just not mention that means Scotland has to pay it's own bills from now on).

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 03:01 PM (uquGJ)

389 373
Hoooooboy. Begun, the pizza wars have.


Posted by: Muad'dib at March 19, 2019 02:57 PM (sjdRT)

People! People! Bring them to me and I will fairly judge whether such creations are entitled to be referred to as pizza.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 03:01 PM (t6MX/)

390 And since MtDNA can mutate over time, this becomes
problematic.

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at March 19, 2019 02:53 PM (3ufaJ)

All DNA mutates. MtDNA mutates faster, so it can show genetic drift better.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (wYseH)

391 No, that wasn't him.

Posted by: Kosh at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (kOpft)

392 Can Beevis, er, Butthead, I mean Joe "One of My Interns Was Murdered" Scarborough account for his whereabouts at the time of these killings?
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (pNxlR)

--------

I am joining with Joe to sue Mike Judge for using our likeness rights for the character "Beavis."

Posted by: Tim Geithner at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (AzW6q)

393 I'm a huge fan of Chicago deep dish pizza.



Giordano's FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (21UM+)

394 Seth Rich killing: beyond police, can't be solved, total mystery.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (39g3+)


------

Yes, just your average mugging where all valuables are left on the victim. NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

Posted by: Seems legit at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (jUVms)

395
(really, England should be encouraging them to leave and just not mention that means Scotland has to pay it's own bills from now on).
Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 03:01 PM (uquGJ)

----

Yeah... like a Scot EVER picks up the tab...

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (8XRCm)

396 Chicago? That ain't pizza. More like some kind of Midwestern casserole.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (VpIIl)

397 >Giordano's FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (21UM+)


This guy gets it.

Posted by: Muad'dib at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (sjdRT)

398 >>This DNA-based solution


hehehe

Posted by: garrett at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (xHsS4)

399 It is pizza that proves God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (ffYR/)

No, it is tomato pie. Very nice, but it isn't pizza, and all right-thinking men know it.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (wYseH)

400 Thanks man, there's one about 7 blocks from the hotel, I'll make an effort to get there

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (YDxg9)

7 blocks is only about 2 drive-bys. You should be fine.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (t6MX/)

401 To solve the mystery, one has to apply Occam's razor.

Posted by: Muldoon



Occam Soccam Robots

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 19, 2019 02:35 PM (aKsyK)
=====
Oh dear heavens. Snorting and choking here. Brilliant.

Posted by: mustbequantum at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (MIKMs)

402 The only stuff I don't think are pizza is when people start putting toppings on a pie which are an abomination before God, like Bananas, Durian, whole lobsters, maracroni and cheese, turkey stuffing and gravy, that kind of thing.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (39g3+)

403 Chicago and New York think they have a two front war, but St. Louis plants cracker-filled IED's on every road.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (oZ6kz)

404 No, it is tomato pie. Very nice, but it isn't pizza, and all right-thinking men know it.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (wYseH)

-------

It not even pie.

Its more like like .... cake.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (8XRCm)

405 lol. Someone asked a question about McCain at the end of the press conference with Brazilian President Bolosanro. Trump ain't backing down. He ended with "I was never a fan of John McCain and I never will be". LMFAO

Meggy MCCain just ate a box of Twinkies.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 02:55 PM


You're mean. I'm a big fan of Meghan's. Expect to meet up with her real soon.

Posted by: Type Two Diabeetus at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (jYje5)

406 381
So, we're able to 'solve' the case of Jack the Ripper 130+ years after his last victim.



The mystery of the whereabouts of 10's of thousands of Felonious
vonPantsuit's highly classified emails? Still very much a mystery.

Posted by: DocJ at March 19, 2019 03:00 PM (NYS7S)
Eventually they'll trace Hillaries Mitochondrial DNA to the cloth that was used to wipe the servers thru Webster Hubbell's only daughter.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM (37IEG)

407 You're mean. I'm a big fan of Meghan's. Expect to meet up with her real soon.

Posted by: Type Two Diabeetus at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (jYje5)

Fight me.

Posted by: Space Herpes at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM (t6MX/)

408 >>Chicago? That ain't pizza. More like some kind of Midwestern casserole.


Partial Birth Pizza Abortion.

In a pan.

Posted by: garrett at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM (xHsS4)

409 If you ever want to appreciate American pizza in all its forms (except maybe that St. Louis stuff), have pizza in Japan. I don't mean okonomiyaki, I mean pizza. It's not just bad, it's EXPENSIVE and bad.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM (oZ6kz)

410 Yeah... like a Scot EVER picks up the tab...
Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (8XRCm)

A Jew and a Scotsman were having dinner at a fancy restaurant. When the waiter goes to collect the bill, he hears "sure, laddie, I'll cover it."

The headline the next day? Famous Jewish ventriloquist found dead!

Posted by: Cato, Media Delenda Est at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM (J+mig)

411 It is pizza that proves God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (ffYR/)

No, it is tomato pie. Very nice, but it isn't pizza, and all right-thinking men know it.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (wYseH)

----------------------------

Then color me wrong thinking. It is the pizza we got about once a month and on special occasions of my arguably misspent youth.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM (ffYR/)

412 I like the pizza that I like.

Posted by: Chris M at March 19, 2019 03:06 PM (eAZVt)

413 It is pizza that proves God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 19, 2019 02:58 PM (ffYR/)

No, it is tomato pie. Very nice, but it isn't pizza, and all right-thinking men know it.


Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 19, 2019 03:03 PM (wYseH)


What he said.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 19, 2019 03:06 PM (9Om/r)

414 You would have to tell someone from Italy that Chicago Tomato Insult is "pizza". They would not recognize it as such.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 03:06 PM (VpIIl)

415 Judas Priest "The Ripper" > Spinal Tap "Saucy Jack"

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (4AeKb)

416 408 >>Chicago? That ain't pizza. More like some kind of Midwestern casserole.


Partial Birth Pizza Abortion.

In a pan.

Posted by: garrett at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM (xHsS4)

The Corner. You will sit in in it.

I was DIGESTING.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (YDxg9)

417 Genetic Drift, isn't that, like, you know, the idea that all people will end up smashed into one super person?

Posted by: Oscazio Consquestidorio at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (37IEG)

418 Chicago and New York think they have a two front war, but St. Louis plants cracker-filled IED's on every road.
Posted by: Broseidon



Imo's Pizza FTW!

Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (21UM+)

419 "340


Pro tip: Don't get shot.


Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at March 19, 2019 02:49 PM (t6MX/)"
...
People might think this is only a joke, but there is a sad stream of people who are either visiting or new to the city who manage to get whacked in like 3 days flat.

Posted by: lurker (the other one. buy radios too) at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (eAshZ)

420 You would have to tell someone from Italy that Chicago Tomato Insult is "pizza".

Yeah but what they call pizza in Italy wouldn't be what you would, either

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (39g3+)

421 Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 03:02 PM (8XRCm)

That's why England needs to appeal to pride and not mention the financial aspect. Also, did all the 'hard-headed, thrifty,practical Scots not move to the New World?

N.B. My family, like many in the US, has Scot and Irish ancestry, but I was sickened by their caterwauling on Twitter about the possibility of *Romney* getting elected. It was so pathetic I started responding that I thanked God my family had had the good sense/lack of choice to come here long ago.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (uquGJ)

422
This is pretty good stuff. Could make a short story.
Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:56 PM (dy5uS)

__________
Am I mistaken or did the Ottoman Empire not lose The Great War? How have they occupied every major city belonging to the Allied Powers?

You people make me sick. The Men of Great Britain did not establish the largest Empire the World has ever known in order to have their progeny flaccidly fap to Brazzers Sodomy and Premium SnapChat Whores while their sons, daughters and goats are raped by marauding gangs of Mohammedians!

Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 03:08 PM (wQMQx)

423 THEY PUT THE CHEESE UNDER THE SAUCE!

Posted by: HORROR! at March 19, 2019 03:08 PM (xHsS4)

424 The only stuff I don't think are pizza is when people start putting toppings on a pie which are an abomination before God, like Bananas, Durian, whole lobsters, maracroni and cheese, turkey stuffing and gravy, that kind of thing.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (39g3+)

-------

If anyone ever gives me pizza with durian on it, I will make them eat an entire haggis in retribution.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 19, 2019 03:08 PM (AzW6q)

425 Actually, there is a pizza joint north of chicago in a town called Mundelein. Its called Bill's pub. Best pizza I ever had out there. Its a double crust, and the bacon pizza is to die for. Its off the charts.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (9Om/r)

426
I would rather eat a frozen uncooked pizza folded in half like a big taco than eat one of them St Louis cracker pizzas.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (8XRCm)

427 I will make them eat an entire haggis in retribution.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 19, 2019 03:08 PM (AzW6q)

Watch it. Haggis is great.


Seriously...I was amazed at how tasty it is.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (wYseH)

428 I've made Pizza quattro stagione, a local favorite where my family came from in Italy.

It means 4 Seasons Pizza, because it contains ingredients that grow in all 4 seasons (which do not match with ours, being the Mediterranean and all.)

It's molto delizioso! My nieces and nephews won't touch it. It's not "pizza" to them.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (4AeKb)

429
You're mean. I'm a big fan of Meghan's. Expect to meet up with her real soon.

Posted by: Type Two Diabeetus at March 19, 2019 03:04 PM (jYje5)

Fight me.

Posted by: Space Herpes at March 19, 2019 03:05 PM


Space Herpes? Meghan would have to leave Earth's gravitational pull to be a threat from you. Meanwhile, she's creating her own gravitational pull here on Earth. Notice how her partners on 'The View' have to keep sliding their chairs back?

Posted by: Type Two Diabeetus at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (jYje5)

430 "Yeah but what they call pizza in Italy wouldn't be what you would, either

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (39g3+)"
Um, yeah, I lived there. They would. Depending on where you are the Neapolitan Style in NY comes the closest.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (VpIIl)

431 DEATH COMES RIPPING

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgemwq5wIcc

Posted by: MISFITS at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (xHsS4)

432 I've seen some weird things. But Durian on pizza?

I never want to be in whatever layer of Hell actually serves that. I shant believe it is an Earthly thing.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (oZ6kz)

433 422
This is pretty good stuff. Could make a short story.
Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 02:56 PM (dy5uS)
__________
Am I mistaken or did the Ottoman Empire not lose The Great War? How have they occupied every major city belonging to the Allied Powers?

You people make me sick. The Men of Great Britain did not establish the largest Empire the World has ever known in order to have their progeny flaccidly fap to Brazzers Sodomy and Premium SnapChat Whores while their sons, daughters and goats are raped by marauding gangs of Mohammedians!
Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 03:08 PM (wQMQx)

I'm starting to like this guy...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (YDxg9)

434 Pizzas are like women. No matter where you get it, if you eat them in the dark, they all still taste OK.

Posted by: Roy at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (xqdqQ)

435 You people make me sick. The Men of Great Britain did not establish the largest Empire the World has ever known in order to have their progeny flaccidly fap to Brazzers Sodomy and Premium SnapChat Whores while their sons, daughters and goats are raped by marauding gangs of Mohammedians!
Posted by: Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson at March 19, 2019 03:08 PM (wQMQx)

----

Sorry Donnie,

but, yeah, they did.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (8XRCm)

436 You're sure it was durian and not just frat boy vomit? They look, smell, and probably taste quite similar.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (oZ6kz)

437 Nood.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (ycWCI)

438 Last time I was in Chicago, I crawled out of Ditka's back to the hotel.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (VpIIl)

439
J. K. Rowling just weighed in with the stunning reveal that Jack the Ripper had an "intense, physical and ultimately unrequited relationship with Jamie Gumb, to the ultimate detriment of both participants."

"All will be revealed," she intimated, "in my forthcoming new book, 'Harry Potter and the Abbatoir in Avalon'. I do hope you consider reviewing it."

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (pNxlR)

440 Posted by: rickb223 at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (21UM+)

OMG, Imo's. That was a pizza John couldn't eat hot or cold, and he *loved* pizza. I don't know what cheese mix they used, but it was seriously nasty. Ate almost no pizza the entire 4 years we were in Missouri.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (uquGJ)

441 Sorry Swanson, it all happened. But your great-great-great grandson through marriage, Sir Tucker of Carlson, is pretty awesome.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (oZ6kz)

442
That's why England needs to appeal to pride and not mention the financial aspect. Also, did all the 'hard-headed, thrifty,practical Scots not move to the New World?

N.B. My family, like many in the US, has Scot and Irish ancestry, but I was sickened by their caterwauling on Twitter about the possibility of *Romney* getting elected. It was so pathetic I started responding that I thanked God my family had had the good sense/lack of choice to come here long ago.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (uquGJ)

Our scots were not thrifty nor practical. They put the hold my beer and watch this in America.

Posted by: Someguy at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (dy5uS)

443 434
Pizzas are like women. No matter where you get it, if you eat them in the dark, they all still taste OK.

Posted by: Roy at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (xqdqQ)

What he said.

Posted by: Zombie Jeffrey Dahmer at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (t6MX/)

444 257 I heard Beto did them.

He does have restless hands.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at March 19, 2019 02:34 PM (oVJmc)


Ahem.....

"Expressive wrists"

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (uDcBt)

445 Seriously...I was amazed at how tasty it is.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (wYseH)

-------

Yep. The destitute will always surprise you with what they can make edible.

But it's oatmeal and offal stuffed into a stomach.

Haggis basically trash, stuffed in a bag made of more trash.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 19, 2019 03:11 PM (AzW6q)

446 Pizzas are like women. No matter where you get it, if you eat them in the dark, they all still taste OK.
Posted by: Roy at March 19, 2019 03:10 PM (xqdqQ)

------

Pizza is like sex.


When its good.... its good.

When its bad...... its still good.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 19, 2019 03:12 PM (8XRCm)

447 >>Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (9Om/r)


I KNEW you were CC Deville!

Posted by: garrett at March 19, 2019 03:12 PM (xHsS4)

448 Polliwog, the cheese they use is called Provel. It's pretty much only a St. Louis thing. Either because of local preference or federal regulations regarding hazardous chemicals.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at March 19, 2019 03:12 PM (oZ6kz)

449 Posted by: lurker (the other one. buy radios too) at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (eAshZ)

Nephew/relative of a Hordeling was one of them at the end of last year. He'd been in town about 24 hours. Had come to attend school there.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 03:12 PM (uquGJ)

450 >>>
No, it is tomato pie. Very nice, but it isn't pizza, and all right-thinking men know it<<<
Yes, but these people also think the White Sox are a baseball team.

Posted by: Fritz at March 19, 2019 03:12 PM (2Mnv1)

451 I would like to see Sir Donald Sutherland Swanson become a recurring meme, sort of the anti-Mary Cloggenstein.

Posted by: rickl at March 19, 2019 03:15 PM (xjiRE)

452
"Yeah but what they call pizza in Italy wouldn't be what you would, either



Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:07 PM (39g3+)"
Um, yeah, I lived there. They would. Depending on where you are the Neapolitan Style in NY comes the closest.


Posted by: Marcus T at March 19, 2019 03:09 PM (VpIIl)


Yup, the pizza in Italy depending on where you are can be very close to what we call pizza in the NY area. I say depending on where you are because thee worst pizza I had was in Florence. The joke is that I had to go to italy for the worst pizza I ever had. Other areas of italy, like Rome for example, had amazing pizza. Even the the pizza I had on the frigging island of capri was waaay better than the crap in got in Florence.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 19, 2019 03:16 PM (9Om/r)

453 Oh, there is such a thing as bad pizza but it has to be really really bad. There was a pizza joint around here that was going out of business, they had cheap pizza so we tried it. Usually there's one or two parts that are pretty good even if the pizza is bad: the toppings, the crust, something.

This stuff was horrible start to finish, it was like cardboard with catsup on it with felt images of toppings and plastic shavings for cheese. It was nearly flavorless and yet had a horrible texture.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 19, 2019 03:17 PM (39g3+)

454 Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 19, 2019 03:16 PM (9Om/r)

The pizza in the Italy area of Disney World was amazing, and apparently both authentic (from my parent's recollections of leave there when my dad was in the Air Force) and recognizable as what I generally think of as pizza.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 19, 2019 03:19 PM (uquGJ)

455 He may have ripped his victims, but it wasn't rip rip.

Posted by: Whoopi Done It! at March 19, 2019 04:19 PM (0dmP2)

456 Probably not the first one to make this point, but I don't have time to read 450 comments first:

This doesn't prove that he was the killer. He was a known customer of the prostitute who owned the shawl, so the presence of his DNA can be explained by that as well.

He might have done it, but this is not "case closed".

This reminds me somewhat of the idea that Thomas Jefferson was "proven" by DNA to be Sally Hemmings' father. The DNA proved that a male of the same line as Jefferson was her father, but was not specific enough to say it was Thomas for sure, and there were several other male relatives in the area. Now, other evidence strongly leads credence to the idea that he believed himself to be her father, but if we are invoking the scientific evidence, we need to be scientific about what it says.

Posted by: D at March 19, 2019 04:29 PM (wY8Ro)

457 Sure, this is what the Vorlons want you to think? Your all just a bunch of Vorlon collaborators!!

Posted by: Puddleglum at March 19, 2019 04:44 PM (RSvbx)

458 It was Bolarus,Keslec and Redjac the later was on the planet Argelious II in the gise of Hengus

Posted by: Tamaa the Drongo Bird at March 19, 2019 04:58 PM (wGqjj)

459 Ace, this "solution" is such a crock. There is no provenance on this shawl whatsoever. No one knew it existed until the owner put it up for sale in 2007, claiming that an ancestor who was a London police officer took it away from the Catherine Eddowes murder scene. (Trouble is, this ancestor worked for the wrong department, and could NOT have been there.)

Experts have dated this shawl to the early 20th century, not the 1880s. It's relatively expensive material, which makes it highly unlikely that it was owned by the destitute Eddowes. (At the time of her death, she was pawning everything she could get her hands on.) Besides, many experts believe the item was a table runner, not a shawl.

There are serious errors in the DNA analysis, and, at best, they show only "similarities" between the DNA found on the "shawl" and that of Kosminski's descendants. "Similarities" that could be found in who knows how many other people. (And let's not even go into the question of how much contamination the "shawl" would have received in over a hundred years.)

I'm really dumbstruck by how many people are falling for this.

Posted by: Undine at March 19, 2019 05:09 PM (qq+1a)

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