Hurt... myself... laughing....
I found this shit last night.
A couple of them, especially the "restaurant" ones, made me laugh.
Ohmigawd, lawyers can be so retarded! By the time I got done reading these three, right in a row, I was literally crying from laughing so hard. Hell, I still need to blow my nose again...
* Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
* Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
* Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
* Witness: "Attached to the ears." * Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
* Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot." * Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
* Witness: "Oral."
* Lawyer: "How old are you?"
* Witness: "Oral." Priceless, this stuff is priceless.
'Specially to me, after the seemingly endless emotional crunch around here lately.
I needed a blowout, big time.
Thank God (and I do) that it was laughter. I can't wait to go see what other comedic gems are waitin' over there.
Comments
1
I agree with the answer to number two on your list, but by far I think this one was the funniest:
# Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
# Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
# Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
# Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
Posted by: Rachel Ann at June 19, 2005 07:04 AM (iigHr)
Posted by: Max at June 19, 2005 10:30 AM (9xN52)
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