I am (f-in') crazy...
As if I had a question about that?
Right.
This is just one a those things I can't really do a damned thing about, so the more I keep myself unaware of it, the better, I guess. My (utterly insane) reaction today has got me wondering, though. My attitude about a coupla things has done a 180 on me and I don't know if I understand it or not. For instance, it's usually only poachers that would piss me off like that. Not hunters. But, since my goat disappeared shortly after the first of them showed up (of which the pigeon-pickin' off peckerhead was first), I seem to have had a major, negative attitude adjustment toward the whole deal. (I'd like to nominate that last sentence for "understatement of the year for 2004", okay?) Then, there's this porn ordeal. Now, I grew up reading Playboy. I've been reading Hustler since I was in my mid-to-late teens, I guess. I like Larry Flynt. I love Hugh Hefner. He looks exactly like my Dad's Dad. My two rabbits are named Hugh and Hefner. I've never really had any problem with that stuff, up to and including Hustler, like I said. But, this stupid porn (!#$&@*!) thing that keeps replacing the three favorites I keep putting back and barfing out the same shit in the links thing has got me hating porn now.
Not that I'm gonna go throw out my Playboys and Hustlers. Oh, hell no. But, I'd do whatever it took to get that bullshit off the Net, though. I mean, Jesus...this is some of the saddest, most pathetic, ridiculous shit. Everytime I have to see the names of those links I'm deleting, it makes my scalp feel like it's shrinking, the way snakes do to some people. Is this growing up, growing old or growing tired of the bullshit?
I can't really tell. I think I may have figured out something else, though. With a chemical imbalance, it seems like what the chemical that's missing supplies is control. That's what I'm sorely lacking, more every day. And, it's what Patty Duke was lacking, too. Self-control. I want that. But, I don't want to take medication just so I'll think everything that's actually bullshit is just peachy-keen. I like that I know bullshit when I see it. I'd just like to not hafta see it once in a while. Or, maybe, just be able to...shrug it off?...let it go?...get the hell over it? Yeah...that one, I suppose.
Whichever. Anyhow...I'm going to bed now. I'll get into all the info you guys have sent about de-buggin' this daggone thing when I get up.
Comments
1
I know this has absolutely nothing to do with your entry, but I'm bored as hell and the other blogs I visit aren't offering a chance for me to bring this up. It's been on my mind since Xmas. Sooo, since you seem to be kind of manic I thought I'd do it here. Why don't they make Underoos for adults? I'm dying to have some since they came out after I was too old to fit in them as a kid. I mean, I'd love to have the Wonder Woman set- just as long as they didn't scimp out and make them only for those with B or smaller bra sizes- I'm tired of wearing just white/tan/black bras because I was given sizeable boobs.
Posted by: Kenna ib PA at December 28, 2003 07:02 PM (h8fVz)
2
Go pull down Ad-aware ( http://www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/ )
It's really free (as in beer) and works wonderfully. It will certainly get that thing out.
It's really free (as in beer) and works wonderfully. It will certainly get that thing out.
Posted by: Mad William Flint at December 28, 2003 07:19 PM (jRssG)
3
Skip the meds. A friend of mine at work was on Prozac/Xanax for the longest time, and when he went off of it, he suddenly realized how much the job SUCKED and he quit immediately. Fuck it, I'd rather know the world is screwed up than to be numb to it and just accept shit the way it happens.
Posted by: Dawn at December 29, 2003 06:18 PM (0zfIx)
Posted by: Stevie at December 29, 2003 09:57 PM (Chbec)
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