And now, for the cause of my current headache...
Okay...let me start by stating that I am 40 years old and I've never been pregnant-never had kids. This is fine with me. I can remember being a kid myself and swearing I'd never have kids because I was scared I'd treat them like my Mom did me. Then, as the years passed, I just never did get pregnant. Again, great. All my friends who had kids, were not able to go any where or do anything without it being a tremendous pain in the ass and costly, besides. I saw the bullet I was dodging and I knew I'd never be on some talk show or in some doctors office whining about my 'biological clock'. Then, again-as the years passed-I began to see what older kids can drag you into with cops, school, child services and the like. So I remained grateful to be childless. Then, about 11 years ago, I got around a kid. He was three and my boyfriends son. He was okay, except his father said to me once (and, mind you, I hadn't asked) "You'll never mean more to me than my son, so don't even try..." Nice. After we broke up, I lived with a guy who had TWO kids in his house-one of whom wasn't even his. The guy just kinda wound up saddled with this boy. The only connection the adult male had with this kid was that the kid was his daughter's brother. (Same mom, different Dad..) Both of these kids, thanks to their mutual mother, had been in 'the system' and were royally fucked up for it. They'd both been put in foster care for a while and were involved with CPS and all kindsa stupid shit. They were wrecked by the time I got there and it did not work out well. I wanted to help, I just didn't have the knowledge or experience, not to mention I was a little mentally fucked up myself at the time. Now...there's Eric, Jr.
If I have ever wanted to get it right, now is that time. If there was ever an age when that would be impossible, this would be that age. He's 14. Gonna be 15 in September. If I don't kill him, first...lol. No, it's not THAT bad, yet...but he's got me nervous. And, I don't mean scared of HIM, I'm scared that if he keeps up with his recent behavior, I'm not going to like him anymore. Which would be 97 kinds of bad.
A bit of background on me-I hate liars. Of all the times in my life that I've been hurt or fucked over, being lied to or about was involved in 99% of it. Consequently, I've learned to avoid, whenever possible, asswits who lie, steal, and cause needless drama. I tell the truth to a fault. I'd rather look like an ass by telling the truth than be one by lying, ya know? Another thing I will no longer allow to happen is Eric Sr. being shat upon or fucked with by anyone, for any reason. I realize I can't keep it ALL off him, but what I can, I will. This comes from 4 years of knowing what he was being put through every day by his ex-cunt and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Honestly, I don't care who ya are...if you try to hurt Eric Sr., I'll turn on ya faster and more viciously than a rabid woodchuck. I'd rather people do that shit to me...it hurts me less that way. Besides, I've got untapped resources that can probably take care of most of the shit that would be thrown my way. But, fuck with Eric and you're slime to be scraped off my boot.
Now I see a problem building up a head like a hurricane on a weather map.
Eric Jr. has been a good kid the whole time I've known of him. The worst thing he used to do to make me want to strangle him was to come into the milking parlor, noisier than hell and running, when I was under some stupid cow, infusing a teat or something equally as dangerous. Lord, that used to annoy the hell outta me...but, I never even said anything, because-again-I knew what his home life was like. I still do. It sucks on toast.
When his Dad and I first got together, we explained everything to Eric Jr. We told him the truth as opposed to the bullshit his mom was feeding him. You could tell he felt better about the whole thing and for a long time, in spite of his useless mother, he was doing okay. Then she moved him into Gloucester City, NJ. It is a slum. A ghetto. A horrible place for an adult to try to live, let alone a kid. Since then, his behavior has gone to hell in a bucket. And, we ARE NOT enjoying the ride...(Love you, Jerry Garcia!).
It started at the very end of the school year. He and some 'friends' of his broke into a warehouse, got to screwing around with a tow motor and damn near cut Jr.'s finger off. They got him home and all LIED about it. Assholes. His visit was postponed for a while because of that. Doctor's visits and such. Then, he finally gets here and the first week was okay. Then, he went to hang around with the kids on this farm one fine evening and came back home BALD!!! They decided he should have a shaved head and he does. STUPID. Besides, it looks like shit. We had a loooong talk with him about that. About having the balls and brains to say "NO" when people start doing stupid shit. About not doing things when your parents aren't there, that you wouldn't do if they were. He said, tearfully I might add, that he understood what we were saying and why. Then, about 3 days later, we caught him with CIGARETTES that he STOLE from me. Ten minutes after that, we found the cigarettes his best friend from here on the farm had stolen from George.
Well, his ass was grass after that. Grounded, curfew, another "talk", more tears...a mess. We made damn sure he knows that we are not going to tolerate this shit. And, why. So, he goes back to Jersey and I heave a sigh of relief.
Since he's been home, he and his retarded friends broke into that warehouse again and this time, were picked up by the police.
So, how much would YOU say he's learned?
In the meantime, his best friend up here got his ass in hot water again, too. He was grounded from the cigarette theivery and decided to go out to an early morning breakfast with his sister. From 11:00pm til 3:00am. When asked what he was told about doing stupid shit, he replied "Yeah, I knew I'd get in more trouble, but I wanted to go anyway..." And, he's still alive. His father showed exceptional restraint, wouldn't ya say? I'd have killed him where he stood.
If those two anecdotes are not just a longer way of saying "Fuck you, Dad", I'd like to know what they are...Brain damage, maybe?
At this juncture, I'm going to try posting this and continue in a minute. If Blogger ate the other one 'cause it was too long, I'd like to avoid that, this time. If Blogger eats THIS one, I'm gonna eat this computer.
With ketchup.
Peace.
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