My parrot is fuckin' nuts!

Jeezus, this bird....

Whatta lunatic.
Right now, he's on top of his cage, buried to the end of his tail feathers in a bag of "Old Fashioned Natural" popcorn, kicking it outta the bag, all over the floor, the inside of his cage and everywhere else it can land.
Nutbag.

Fucker bit the shit outta me a few minutes ago, too.
Because of my Nextel cell.
Idiot thinks Eric's in it.

He goes after Eric if he's out of his cage when Eric comes in. Either goes after him or bites me, because I'm closer, I guess.
But, that's not enough, noooo.

He heard Eric's voice comin' outta the phone (on DirectConnect) the other day and LOST IT.

Now, even if I'm on the "phone" part, he freaks.

I left a message for my insurance agent and when she called back, Murph was on my shoulder.
I answer the phone and Nitwit crosses my chest, gets within chomping distance of my right hand (and the phone) and CHOMP.

I felt like a retard tellin' her to ohhh! hang on a second, my parrot is bitin' the shit outta me because of this phone.
She was still laughing after I managed to get him back in his cage and get back to the phone.

Turd. (Both of 'em...)

Besides that, this has been an "interesting" weekend.
*rolls eyes*

Suffice it to say we have a lawyer now and the "shit" Eric's in is gonna be resolved.
This is a good thing, even if it gets waaaay worse before it gets better.

And, after my first Friday off, I can say... it kinda sucks.
I felt a fuckin' orphan after the second day off. Not to mention, all this "court" shit and "bills" shit was just a-hangin' over my head, trying to make me lose it, but... it didn't work.
I remained calm, trusted God and I was right.

I do, however, think I may look into a second part-time job. Nothing that'll interfere with where I work now, just something to give me back that lil bit of money I'm losing til September.
I even asked the "big" owner if it was okay with him, which, of course, it is, and (of course) he appreciated me asking, even if it wasn't required.

Mostly, I didn't wanna go start working for any "rivals". Didn't know if we have any.
We don't.
Okay, Boss... anybody around here you'd recommend? Like, friends of yours, then?
Not around here, which I take to mean he does "in the city", which is a "nah" for me, because I don't want to wind up as "film at 11" on the news, which I would if I hadda go to Philly alone. Or, at all.

Now, what I'm really hoping is that he and the new "hostess" (another of the owners) put their heads together and spare me the "having to go look" and just gimme back my Fridays, or some other day, maybe, now.

But, apparently, losing days to college kids is "normal" there. That's cool, too.
It's not an emergency, just something I'm thinking about.

Oh and check out this assininity....
I rode the horse for, like, three days in a row, right?
So, I decide yesterday, pretty late, that I wanted to just go for a walk for a while. (This court/bills crap was kinda buggin' me...)

So, I get dressed, put on the barn boots and off I go. Across the field, around the pond and away from the dolts on the three wheelers and their damned dust storms.

I get about a 1/4 of a mile away and what do I find?
Of course.
A ten foot (at least), 40-50 pound tow chain, just laying there, in the dirt.
Now, it's patently obvious that the numbfucks on the three wheelers saw it, and even ran it over, because it's partly wet from their tires after they cross the stream and buzz over it.
D'ya THINK one of those ijits could stop, bend down, grab said chain and bring it the fuck back that way?

Gawd, I hope not, 'cause if ya did think that, yer brain has OBVIOUSLY rotted or fallen out or something.

HELL NO, they can't do that.
Of course not.

So, I stand there, looking at it, talking to myself.

"Self", I says, "you know damned well that the ONLY way this thing is gettin' home is if you take it back. These idiots ain't gunna do it. Telling Eric it's here... pfft. Ya took him right to that chisel-plow part ya found, next to the tape measure ya also found and they're still laying where ya found 'em. What d'ya think'll happen here, if ya do that again? Same thing. Yeah, so do I. (What? I agreed with me. So what?) You KNOW yer gonna do it. Might just as well just go on and decide the route...."

My choices, from where I stood, were a long assed, nearly knee-deep "mud puddle" or halfway to hell and gone around it.

I went through the water, carryin' that chain like a tray. Hoisted up onto one hand, then the other, all the way back.
Shoulder-level, too.
(That's how I carry trays...)

I wasn't even breathing hard when I got home.
Hardly even broke a sweat AND I smoked a cigarette while heftin' that thing home, too.
I came straight into the house with it, walked up to Eric's chair, said, "Ya'll lose this?" and dropped it on the carpet.
And... guess what?
It's STILL THERE!!!!!

*lmao*

Frickin' men, I swear....
Shoulda just threw it in the shop when I trudged past.

But, I like makin' points, even if I'm the only one who "gets" 'em.

(My "point" being, especially after he said, "Sweetie... why din't ya just tell me it was there and leave it?", that that woulda been dumb, because, even with it in the LIVINGROOM- much closer to the shop than where I found it, by the way- he ain't gonna "go get it", let alone when it's halfway to the turnpike, out in a field path, ya know?
Yeah.
So did I.)

But, anyway....

I think I need a cuppa coffee.
I just yawned.

Got too much to do yet for that shit already.

Me and "da bird" (Murph, not the car) are gonna go get some coffee and have a little talk about beaks, and phones, and my hand/body/skin and how just becausea one, the other two don't necessarily HAFTA meet.
Or bleed.
(Gawd, this bird is GORGEOUS. Psychotic, but gorgeous.)
(Hmmm... come to think of it, that could also be said of MANY of the "men" I've gone out with...)
(Which reminds me... thank You again, God, for Eric...)

Back later.
Peace, ya'll...

Posted by: Stevie at 06:11 PM

Comments

Posted by: Maeve at May 23, 2005 07:54 PM (6E1RR)

Posted by: catfish at May 25, 2005 01:55 AM (tcJfP)

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