Okay... guess I oughta explain fuller, huh?
This is good.
I'm already laughing my butt off.
It wasn't just that.... *giggling at the idea* (No wonder people think I'm nuts... *lmao*) No no.
That was just another brick in the wall. The wall that I want(ed) to beat somebody's head against. There've been some things going on at work (besides theft), things happenin' here and to top it off... PMS now.
Oh goody.
*rolls eyes* Why yes, GOD, bring it on. I AM a real bull, after all... NOT. Let's get work outta the way first. It's probably the longest of the stories, anyway. The Boss Lady is gone, another (mostly useless) waitress is quitting in two weeks and Leo was starting to be a prick again, til yesterday and even after that, he may still be.
Whatever. Now, as for the Boss Lady...
Had no idea, but her last day was last Sunday. What the real story is behind her leaving is not known to me, but I'm not buying that "after 5 years, it's time to do something else" shit.
Bullshit.
Whatever.
I really don't care, because she was starting to get on my nerves, but, still... wow.
Okaaay.
I did maintain the prescence of mind to thank her for hiring me and not shove her out the door after saying that... *grin* Then, yesterday, as I was totalling a few checks, this other chick (and I use that word loosely. Only word I could use more loosely would be to call her a "waitress"... *gooberface*) comes up and is mutterin' her ass off about "fuck them they ain't gonna have me to abuse anymore in two weeks, hate this place, hate their shit, yadda, yadda, yadda..." To which I replied, "Hmmm, what?" Then she said not to say anything (who? me?) but she's leaving in two weeks.
Well good.
She's the reason I was hatin' on Fridays anyway and now, AFTER I ALREADY HAD FIXED THAT MESS, she's leaving. Jeezus. Thanks, God. You sooooo funny. Now, my biggest problem with the (ex)Boss Lady and Fridays was my station on Fridays.
Every other freakin' day I work, I'm on three. That's in smoking, which everybody else hates, because of all the (fuckin' dopey) health nuts around these days...
"Non-smoking, please... Non-smoking... As far from smoking as possible (to which, just once, I'd like to yell, "That'd be your HOUSE, asswipe!!!!"). Eeeverybody wants to be in non-smoking.
The wusses. But, that's fine with me. I'd rather not give my services to anal-retentive dickweeds, anyway. I LIKE waiting on the cool people who don't feel a need to subjugate everybody to their non-smoking, non-having any fun whatsoever way of being.
Fuck them. Gimme my hacking cool people every time. However, on Fridays, for reasons not known to me, except in the barest of sketchiness, we have extra servers and buspeople on and ya know what?
We just don't need 'em.
Hell, I even asked one of my "Aunts" (a waitress I'd kill for) last Friday if it was just me, or did Fridays not warrant all the extra help.
They don't.
It's like this because someone sometime, lost in the sands of time, musta bitched because they got slammed a few times.
SO, the owners being men and all and wanting to shut the bitches up for GOOD put all the extra help on, so now nobody gets swamped, nobody has to put forth any effort whatsoever and, consequently, nobody makes any money, either. But, not even that is why I hated Fridays so much. See, on Fridays, with all that extra "help", I get bumped outta three into two. Station two with less than too fuckin' many people on is okay, I guess. At least ya get a coupla tables out in the non-smoking area. But, on Fridays, no. I wind up with a station that consists of three measly booths and four tables.
The bitch on three (who is the one quitting now) gets six booths and two tables. Now, not only do people not wanna be in smoking, the ones who do wanna be, want booths. I don't got booths. Not as many as I SHOULD HAVE, anyway. What I do have is the first hour, hour and a half to myself, to be aware of every second of every minute I'm there, doing NOTHING, except thinking about all the shit I could be gettin' done if I weren't there. I fuckin' HATE having nothing to do. One of two things, both of which I resent, usually happen. Boss Lady gives Quittin' Chick MY STATION, which she cannot handle, then has the balls to keep asking me to take up her slack, which I do NOT need anyone to do when I'm on three, like it oughta be.
So... no. Or, Boss Lady then tries to run my ass off at the end of the shift so I will have made some money, but fuck that, too. I've already been there all damned day, bored outta my tits and all I want is to GO.
I do NOT feel like having a table here, a table way the fuck over there and then be seated in my own stupid station. Fuck you, fuck your stupid manipulations, machinations and again YOU, Boss Lady. And, no I did not cop this attitude from the getgo. I tried. I asked her to switch us back and forth, one week I get three, the next week she gets it and so forth, but nooooo. We can't DO that. Wanna know why? Because "Miss Can't Handle Three" has "seniority". Jesus wept.
And, I gave up.
Kinda. Now, normally, if ya get a shit answer to a problem like that from your totally ineffective, young man lovin' Supervisor ("young man lovin'"= if yer a guy, ya get whatever ya want, if yer a chick, you get "tolerated" and blown off, basically), you'd go to the next guy up the ladder and try again.
Well.
Not here, ya don't.
Or, they don't.
I do, though.... heh. That's all because of cucumbers. Yes, cucumbers. See, the totally ineffective Boss Lady (has earned that title, as you are about to see) is supposed to be the "liason" between us and management.
We are to go to her for everything (which she then does dick about).
Not "supposed to" speak directly to the owners, I guess.
WhatEVER. The two days a week Boss Lady had off were two of the days I worked. So, I truly only saw her half the time I was there. What in Christ's name was I supposed to do the two days I was there and she wasn't? Let things go, like disgusting cucumbers? I don't think so. One day, I was setting up the salad station and the cucumbers were gross. Slimy, almost clear, little disks of disgustingness.
So, I asked another waitress about chucking them and getting fresh ones.
Well, fer fucks sake. Ya mighta thought I asked about waitressing nekkid, for the response I got. It seems that we were supposed to just "make do" with the shittty cukes and not even ASK anybody about new ones.
Well, that's just fuckin' STUPID, so I did what the fuck needed to be done and showed them to alllll the cooks, owners and anybody else who was interested and ya know what?
I was allowed to change 'em.
AND, not one of those "unspeakable to" people got pissed because I did, either. I mean, Jesus, ya know?
It's food we're serving. Ya wanna be a pussy and serve rotted produce?
I don't.
Thanks. Since then, if I had a question or whatever, I'd ask a waitress first, of course, but I did not just automatically discount asking an owner, either. Consequently, I get along famously with all the guys who run the place, even Leo, usually. Guess Boss Lady didn't like that too overly much.
Tough shit, Chicky.
Try being there every second I am, if ya wanna be the Queen of The Place, okay?
Otherwise, get outta my face with your high school horseshit and GIMME BACK MY STATION, TOO, YA BEE-YOTCH!!!!! Now, I kept most of this under wraps, but apparently, some of my dislike of Fridays seeped out.
Who'da thunk? Anyway, after Boss Lady was outta my way, I decided to ask an owner, let's call him Sweetie, since that's what he calls me, what we could do, if anything, about Fridays. What I wanted was to either be in three or be home. Before I could even ask him, he came to me and asked me if I'd mind dropping Fridays for the summer as he has a college kid home who is interested in them. I was wide-eyed at that. "Are you psychic?", I asked him. "How'd you KNOW I was gonna come to you about this?" "Boss Lady mentioned it..." Ahhhh. Well, whatever her intent was, however she put it to him (which I'm sure the absolute truth was NOT a part of), it worked itself out well. I'm off Fridays now, til the middle of August, when I get 'em back again. (I'll work on the "better be in three" part then. I'm just glad to be rid of them for now...) Now, the way I got stuck with Fridays in the first place was Boss Lady begging, nagging and acting wounded til I agreed to work 'em. Then, the punkass sloughes me off into two, fucking me outta my station and making any decent money.
I do her a favor and get fucked for it.
Nice. Then, before she leaves, I'm sure she "ratted" to Sweetie that I was an ungrateful bitch or something who did nothing but complain about shit. I think Sweetie was expecting me to react badly to his request, but when I said I was gonna hug him for it... well, he started to get the idea that Boss Lady is fulla shit. I could see that on his face. Then, I asked him if he thought the new "Boss Lady", whomever she may be, would be screwing with the schedule or anything.
Nope.
He said, "Wanna know who you're getting?"
"Yeah..."
"ME!" "Alriiiight. Hot damn, thank you Lord. Really? Oh, that's such a relief, so cool... oh good..." etc.
I told him I was skeert we were gonna end up with a Joan Crawford or something equally as heinous. Thank God he busted up laughing. So, no more horseshit of that flavor at work. Good. Now, briefly (shaddap) about Leo... He was seeming to start to be going back into his "dick" mode a little with me. However, these days, I know to listen to the quality of his complaints and not just his tone of voice, which for every infraction sounds like ya just killed his dog, or something. The man gives ya full force over every little thing. It's stupid, mostly. And, it also teaches people (me, anyway) that yer fulla shit and nothing you say really means anything, since there is no differential between "minor shit" and "major shit". For instance, he was getting on me a bit last week. Yelled at me two days in a row.
Wanna know what for?
Because he couldn't hear me (speaking too softly) and sliding the wrong sandwich to a waitress I thought was picking it up. Well, shoot me in the face, right?
I'm not a screeching bitch and I was trying to help. Puh-leeze, Leo.
Just shut up.
Okay, dillhole? Anyway, I freaked him right outta his tighty-whities yesterday. He comes in on his day off for breakfast. When he showed up yesterday, I asked him if he'd had a chance to listen to the SRV CD I gave him about two weeks ago for not killing me over an omlette and he said, "Not yet, but I've gotta drive a ways today, so I'm taking it with me..."
"Okay. I'm really interested in whatcha think of "Riviera Paradise". That song will getcha. You'll love it..." Then, while my balls were all big and right there for me, I jumped on into my next project with this guy, which is to get him on a horse.
If ever anybody on this planet needed the gift a horse gives you, it's this guy.
He's so tightly wound, I fully expect the top of his head to fly off someday and zip around the restaurant like a deadly boomerang, cutting off all of our heads, or something. I asked him if he's ever been on a horse to which he replied "Noooo..." and then I hurriedly explained why I think he oughta and that there are no strings attached, if I get fired or quit, the offer will not be withdrawn and that he can either ride with Eric or I'd walk with him so he'd feel safe. He'd be on Storm, and I don't like hackamores, so I'd be on foot, not on Action, and that this isn't a bid from me to try to get special treatment, it's just that my horses were free, a gift if you will, and I feel compelled to pass that gift on to certain people sometimes and he's one of them. He was floored.
His face and eyes changed right in front of me.
He was touched, I could see that. He also said that his house is currently gutted and any spare time he has is spent doing that job.
To which I replied, "All the more reason you oughta get out on a horse... really." Whether or not he does this, the offer was made and will stand, no matter how awful he behaves. In fact, the worse he behaves, the more convinced I am that he needs this.
We'll see. I'm not done with his ass, yet. Now, about here... Another cat had kittens a coupla weeks ago. Had them hidden in here somewhere and I wasn't exactly looking for them, if ya know what I mean. My days of getting all excited over new cats are outta my reach right now, as is pretty much everything else, due to having 6,492 cats in my life.
So, I was a bit blase about the kittens. Well, she finally showed 'em to me and now she has her clothesbasket and her kids out and all is well.
Except for one little thaaaang... I saw where she was bringing them out from and decided to make sure she'd brought all of them with her and she did.
Sorta. I could see, under the cabinet, this furry thing that wasn't moving. I could see it had fur, but what the fuck is it? So, I excavate under there, retrieving in the process a coupla VHS tapes and about $3000 worth of cat toys and then, I finally extracted the furry thing. It was a kitten head. Just a head. I'm all grossed out, hollering, "What the FUCK is this? The CATfather??? EWWWW!!!!!" Not to even mention the half a mouse last week and the dead baby bird this morning.
Oh, and the dead mole Chyna brought to me in the bathroom yesterday as I was getting ready for work. This is gettin' outta hand, here, Kids.
Wanna cut it out before ya's GROSS me out? Jeezus, man. A kitten head.
I don't think I even wanna know, ya know? There are some sick fucks living in my house. And, not just me, either.... In fact, they make me look positively SANE by comparison.
Hell, all's I'd want is to find a human head or twelve.
But, kitten?
Noooooo. Stooo-ooop it. Well, now that I've re-awakened my gag reflex, I think I oughta go smoke something.
Before I barf. Fuckin' cats, man...
Sick bastards. Besides, a pot-dispensing chick I work with wants to come by and check out the kittens and maybe take a few, so I need to go straighten up this house real quick. No sense letting her see how bad a few kitties can fuck up a place, right? That's just not good subliminal advertising. I think I've gotten alla the "gunk" outta my head anyhow.
If I remember more later, I'll be sure to letcha's know.
You know that...
*giggle* Anyway... off to straighten up.
Back later.
Every one of you, have a great day, okay?
Please? Thanks, man...
*big toothy grin* Peace, y'all....
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