Didn't I just do this shit?

Feels like I just had a birthday a coupla months ago.

42.

Jeezus.

My Dad and Kim and Pat came over. Dad brought his chicken potpie.
They didn't stay to do karaoke, because no place around here starts before 9:30p.
Think me and Eric may still go to Mike's. That's a place not too far from here that has karaoke tonight and I think I still wanna do it.

They're already gone, in fact.

I miss Dad already. I wish they'd stayed a little longer.

But, I did get to let Dad hear Roger Miller's "River in the Rain" and see John Goodman do "Guv'mint", both from "Big River".

And, I've finally got my brother in my DirectConnect.

It was fun.

So, why am I sitting here getting Eric all wet?
I don't know.
But, it hurts.
I just wish Dad was still here.

Maybe it's cause I don't get to see him very often.
Maybe it's cause I love him so much, but... man, this is nuts.
My heart literally hurts.

I did get to hug him during "River in the Rain".

Know what I'd love?
To be able to just hang with Dad for, like... a whole day.
Him and Norman.
And me.
All day.

For a week.

God, I wish the seven hours I spend at work went as fast as these seven did.

I may be 42, but I still do want to be around my Dad.

You know.
Before I can't be.
Anymore.
Again.

For the record, I'm also fully aware of the absense of Paul and Rob.
But, it's not Paul's fault and I also know I can call him if I wanna (and I may very well do that) and Rob? I have no idea. I mean, I know what he's doing today, I just don't know why.
He said he'd be here, then barely said two words to me yesterday and hasn't even so much as called today.
If I've pissed him off, I don't know how.
Feels like I have.

I do have two other fellas I may be calling sometime tonight or tomorrow.

And, not everything sucks or anything.

Craig IS taking the third horse and two kittens, Eric and I may still go do karaoke, I still have the job (so far) and things are fine, I suppose, but goddamn... I do wish Dad coulda stayed longer.

Hook me to a polygraph, I swear I'd pass... I believe that Kim, who was driving, was bored stiff.
Nothing personal, of course, just bored spitless.

Still.

Dad, come up here with Norman or by yourself.
Please.

Let me just hang with you and be your kid for a day.
I know I'm an old kid, but I am still YOUR kid and I kinda need you.

I try not to too much (you know what that's about), but it is more than a 7 hour thing.
And yeah, I know I can't have it all back, but any is good.
As was today.

It was just way too short.

Thank you for everything and I love you and I'm sorry to be such a...
whatever it is I am because I'm bawling my heart out after you were just here.

GodDAMN, I love my Dad...

Posted by: Stevie at 07:52 PM

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Posted by: Mad William Flint at May 03, 2005 09:38 PM (14L/a)

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