Okay... now, this is more like it...

"It" being the kinda "wtf moment" I'm used to, by now.

Mind you, now... I'm not complaining, just explaining.

After alla this "too cool to really be my life" stuff that's been going on, I now have proof that "Yuh-huuuuh, is too my life."

In aboooout an hour or so, for about 3 or 4 hours, I'm gonna be... *gulp*... alone here with... *starts to sweat*... with... *feels faint*... two... kidsssss.... *swoons*
One of whom I've never even seen before.
Gawd.

First, it was just George was coming up, bringing the little 'un. Then, it became "can I bring somebody?" and now... here it is. Again.

Never had a kid, never even been pregnant and all of a sudden I know just how Custer felt.
I'm surrounded.
He'p!

Two of 'em.
One of me.
Three or four "of" hours....

*siiigh*

I'd do that whole "Why me, Lord?" thing, but I can already visualize a coupla different answers, neither of which is anything I need to actually be "told".
First, I see God grinding his thumb into a desktop while saying to me, "Because you piss me off!"
Or, He'd just give me a look like, "Oh STFU, chick, okay?" Then, He'd roll His eyes and probably mention His son.
And, I don't wanna be the cause of God taking Jesus' name in vain... ya know?
At least, not again.

I do think I'll actually survive this, but, for the life of me, I do not, can not and never will understand how anybody could do this 24 hours a day forever. Or 20 years, which is about the same damned thing.

Three or four hours and I'm so nerved out that both my arms are numb.
And, that's gonna make cooking sloppy joes REALLY fun, too, lemme make ya visualize...

Ah hell. I've got 200 or so channels of TV, all of outdoors, it being light out later now and shit like that to keep 'em busy.
If that's not enough, there's always duct tape, right?

Bet I could have both of 'em immobilized, gagged and stuck to the wall in under 7.5 seconds....
Especially if I used a horse, like in calf roping...
Hmmm...

*stares off into distance with a slight grin*

*several minutes later*

Oh hey, hi... sorry. Daydreaming, I guess...

How do you people do this shit on a daily basis and on a "volunteer" basis at that?
Y'all screw, y'all know screwin' leads to babies and y'all do it anyway, have the babies and then do this shit, 24/7 for forever. And more, even...
How?

I don't get it.

I try sometimes to imagine having a kid and it scares the ever-lovin' fuck outta me. HELL doesn't scare me as much.
Talk about claustrophobia... talk about trapped... Jeezus.

I couldn't do it.

In fact, if Eric wasn't gonna have his radio with him while he's gone, I'd not be able to do this, probably...
This is scary enough, thanks.

Aw maaaan... I just found out they're taking my Firebirrrrrrd. (/whine) (maybe)
*pout,sob,frown*

Poop.

Aw fuckit. I don't guess it really matters, but still... I just detailed that thing. I also just put PREMIUM gas in it, too.
Both of which I just betcha's I'm gonna hafta do again tomorrow.

Three men ALONE in my clean car.
*shudders*

Oh, and as an added attraction, the one driving will be the one who blew it up last time.
Betcha don't think I'll mention that, huh?
Hell I won't.

*raised eyebrow*

Have to.
If for no other reason than to have mentioned it, therefore it won't happen.
You know how that works, I'm sure.

Besides, it is having that "drive/overdrive" issue... it bears mentioning.

"Blow up my car, I break yer face."

That oughta do it, I think.
Maybe clutching the Pusser Club whilst I say it...

We'll see.
Maybe I'll just save the Pusser Club as the bonus prize for not having listened to me, if indeed they/he don't/doesn't LISTEN to me and hence does, in fact, blow it up again.

Sounds like a plan...
(Sounds like they need to sqeeeeeze into George's pickup, more like...)

Actually, it sounds very fair... to me.
Anything you do to my car, I will be forced to do to your body. Twice.
This includes, but is not limited to, running it outta gas, blowing it up, denting it, wrecking it, breathing on it, allowing birds to shit on it... you get the idea.
Hope they do.

Cross yer fingers for me.
PRAY for them...
*giggle*

Tawk to yiz lay-tah...

Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 05:55 PM

Comments

1 Growing up I HATED kids. I am the oldest of 4 and always the "instant babysitter". I swear to God my youngest siblings were the BEST birth control I ever had. I had no delusions about kids. When my friends would "moon" over babies, I'd roll my eyes in disgust.
Now that I'm a mom (was pushing 30 when I had my son) I can appriciate them more. I wish I could of had more than one, but with my son being disabled, we felt that he needed 110% of our attension.
Kids are cute, they are even cuter when they get to go home! LOL

Posted by: Maeve at April 18, 2005 02:00 AM (6E1RR)






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