Birdzilla is in...
House is clean. Attitude is improved. Life not sucking as hard as usual, right this second.
Haven't heard from George yet, but Jon was here and took Eric to the store for me and guess what? He got it right! All of it, even the three things I had to add by radio after they'd left. He got all the stuff on the list (not alot, just catfood, butter and Coffeemate.) Then, I added potatos, a baster, tissues and maybe one more thing and he got it all and got it all right. Wow. How often do guys do that? And, he didn't let the brownies that I forgot about burn and he finished the vinegar-cleaning of the coffeepot. I'm in awe. I said something to him about it, that he was doing great and being a real sweetheart and that I appreciate it and he says "I'm just doin' what ya asked..." To which I replied "Yeah...that's what I mean...who ARE you? Eric never listens to me..." and stuck my tongue out at 'im. Then ran... Oh yeah...I forgot to tell ya's about the other night. Let me preface this by pointing out that when the only answer a person can come up with is shooting you the bird, you just know you are, in fact, right about whatever it is yer sayin', okay...? At least in my experience.So, anyway, Mr. Istillwannaridebulls was laying on the couch watching TV. I was out here somewhere and outta the blue I hear from the living room:
"OOF!!! Aww! Damn! Stupid dog...Jesus! Ow! Man..." Sounded like a mugging or something. I just had to investigate, so I wander on in and ask "What in the hell are y'all doin' in here?" George is sitting in a chair, two of the dogs are laying on the floor trying to look innocent and Eric...he looks like...best way to describe it is in the movie "Airplane!" when the passengers are told to 'assume crash positions', they all arrange themselves in positions that look like they've already been in a crash...well, so did Eric. Between him hanging halfway off the couch and the positively scandalized look on his face, I figured he was the victim of something semi-malicious. So, I said "What happened to you?" He says "Ziggy stepped on me and almost killed me."
"Wait a minute...you wanna ride bulls and a dog makes you make sounds like that? Hell, that dog weighs 90 lbs. Bulls weigh 2000 lbs, Dude."
"Yeah, but he stuck his toenail in my back."
"A dog toenail compared to a bull horn?"
"I think he punctured my kidney."
"Bet Lane Frost wishes it had been a dog toenail jammed in his ribs that day."
"But...but..."
"Yessss?"
(Emphatic, obscene gesture accompanied by a moist raspberry...)
"Mm-hmmm...exactly." I leave to much giggling and gesturing, confident that I am, once again, correct. (Sighing, giggling and shaking my head...)
A dog toenail...honestly.
(Three days later and I'm still farkin with 'im with that one...this is just too good to let go too soon...) The goof.
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