Bitch alert!! Bitch alert!!!

Know what I need besides a swift kick in the ass just for GP's?

A Hazmat placard kinda thing to post when I get like this.
Prefferably of some kind of acid. Some kind of horrible, destructive acid that if ya even look at it, ya die or wish you would.
And, if ya mess with it and piss it off, it'll fuck up your weekend and the weekend of all those you know, even if it's a Monday or something.

If I had one of those, I'd use it today.

Been awake about an hour or so. It's raining, my left nostril is killing me (sinuses, thanks E, for the nose cold, ya putz...), another cat, who could more correctly be called "the disappearing babymaker" had her HERD of babies and when she was here for breakfast this morning, I got my ass dressed up to (or DOWN to) barn boots and all, waiting for her to go back outside to her kids, so I could follow her and help her bring them in here. Last year, one of the brainless dickheads who live here very nearly ran her over in the driveway when she was carrying a baby over here from the barn.
Well.
She was here. I fed her. While she was eating I got dressed and when she was done, she went to the bathroom. I sat on the step, waiting for her and when she was done, she jumped into "her" windowsill and looked for her bowls, which weren't there, because the last few days, she's been too pregnant to jump up there. I grabbed the bowls and before I got the one filled with water and back there to her, she was gone.

Gone.

Looked everywhere, no Chyna.
Fuck.

So, I took off the barn boots and got driven nutso by a coupla other things (mostly this gross house) and next thing I know... she's baa-aa-ack. Still don't know where the kids are, but I suspect they're in here somewhere, since she wasn't gone very long, nor wet when she got back, so I guess I'll quit worrying about that for now.

Then, I had this tape running that I made offa TV. Wasn't sure just exactly what's on it, but lo and behold... I've got Benny Hill on here.
That man is CRAZY.
He's been making me laugh so fuckin' hard I can't even stay pissed.
That little bald dude is funny as balls, too.

Be cool if I have that "pigeon poem" on here. The one that ends with Benny turning the bird loose and "he swooped and he POOPED, right in me eye..."
Even if I don't, what I do have here is good.

Oops. Benny just ended and apparently, I switched over to VH-1, cause now, it's "I love the 70's"... again.
Lord, I love Hal Sparks.

Oh Jesus.
Ziggy Marley discussin' Big Wheels.

Is it any wonder AT ALL that I'm as fucked up as I am, watching this shit?

Awww, Earth, Wind and Fire. Now, this is better. Wo. There went Rick James.
One Day at a Time... oh yeah. Lord, I loved Schneider....

Oh, holy shit... 8 tracks.
I am sooooo old.

Anyway... they went to commercial, which I'm about to fast forward through, which is the coolest thing about watching TV on tape... fuck Tivo... so, I suppose I oughta start something besides another bitch-fest.

And, don't forget... "Foxy Ladies" can call Erik Estrada "Paunch" anytime they want....
Dipshit.

Peace, people....

Posted by: Stevie at 10:08 AM

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Posted by: Mad William Flint at March 23, 2005 09:08 PM (14L/a)

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