I know what I want for my birthday...
Peace of mind.
That's it, that's all.
Nothing more or less.
Probably a lot.
Once I get it all straight in my own mind. But, I must be wantin' to get it out pretty badly already (worse than I realize, I mean), because I've already mentioned it to a fella I emailed earlier today.
First time I've ever written to him and I'm blabbin' about that. Jeezus.
*giggle* Sorry, Cat.
*blushes* However, if I don't get this right, at least the first time I talk about it, it could probably somehow get even worse, so I'm gonna take my time with this one. I will say, or ask, this much now, though... If you really, really wanted to "get" me, if ya wanted to fuck up my world completely, in an instant, whatta ya think you'd do to do that?
What's my kryptonite?
Anybody already know this one? The ones who do know this will be the ones who'll understand the best how goddamned scared I've been for the past three years and how utterly terrified of possible future "what if's" I can get. Maybe. And...
Don't feel bad if ya don't know.
I'll just assume ya think I'm invinicble and try to remember that.
*grin* Feel like I'm gonna need to be sometimes, this thing is such a.... mess. Oh, and one more lil teeny, tiny (goddamned) detail.... I'VE NEVER HAD A KID, SO- BASICALLY- WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HAVING TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT? Hummmmmm? Honestly.
Just proves that God has thee most twisted sense of humor this side of.... me. Here... want me to put it into "perspective" for ya, too? I can, ya know. Easily. Today, because of this bullshit, the idea of going into work and dealing with Mr. Mean Cook and all that that implies was A PLEASURE.
It was NUTTIN'.
And... I did good. Only thing I said that was stupid, I didn't even say to him.
The Rock announced the lunch special and it was Tuna Pita, which is tunafish (duh) on a pita (double duh).
I heard that, I repeated it back to him as I wrote it down, then I said...
"Okay. Tuna Pita. On whatever?" He looked at me like I'm retarded (which I am) and said, "Noooo. Tuna on a PEE-TA..." real slowly. I turned 19 shades of red and busted up laughing and he just kinda smiled and said he wasn't eeeeven gonna ask and wandered away. See, usually, you can order the lunch special on whatever kinda bread ya want it on, but today... PEE-TA only, thanks. I'mina go clean something now and try to get this other shit straight in my head so I can get it straight da fuck outta my head, before it finishes eating my brain. Peace
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