Kill me. NOW.
Please, and save me the trouble of spontaneously combusting tomorrow at work?
If I even make it that far...
AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH, the humanity!!!!!!!!! The absolutely ONLY redeeming quality this thing has is the fact that the damned number on it is the year I graduated. Fuckin' great. *siiiigh*
So I have a $25 car waxing RAG with the number "81" on it.
Just what I aaaaalways wanted. I'd rather have a barn fulla farting teddy bears, thanks. Jeezus. A frickin' Iggles jersey. This, DAD, is the REAL "dumbest thing I ever spent money on in my entire lifetime", including smokables, Dude. I walked in the door this morning and everybody but me and the chick who reminds me of my Aunt was wearing a jersey. I looked around and said "Well, apparently I missed a memo..."
*rolls eyes* Seems we're gonna be wearing this shit all week, til the Pats kick some Bird ass and we can all go back to dissing them in public, as usual. This week, they're potentially "golden" sooooo... I keep finding myself needing to spit out eagle ass feathers. That's NOT because I'M kissin' any ass, but there's just so much of it going on, there're feathers EVERY-freakin'-where. For the record, the only way I could POSSIBLY care less about the (#$%@!!) Iggles is if I were DEAD!!!!!
(/Kinnison)
(maybe....) I mean, it's not like I don't own and didn't offer to wear my DALLAS!!!!! jersey, but, noooooo. THAT'S not good enough. In fact, around here, doing that seems to be grounds for justifable "stiffing on tips" and maybe even a severe beating.
Humorless twats. No Dallas hat, either.
Nit-pickin' dickweeds. Maaaan, I'm never gonna see my cat again, now. Not after this. My karma is gonna suck cow toe jam after tomorrow. I just hope it doesn't last as long as breaking a mirror.
I am soooo fucked.
*strangled sob* Me.
In an Iggles jersey. Three damned times.
(Tomorrow, Thursday and Friday...) Oh, and did I mention... my little friend is here, or coming soon, too.
Figures.
Altho, technically, my lil buddy is just about as much fun as the idea of wearing anything "Eagles" that doesn't refer to the rock group, so this qualifies for "just about eeee-NUFF", no?
On toppa which, Normie is still MIA.
Damn it. Ya know...
It's a good thing I'm giggling right now, 'cause there's a silo right over there and I know I can find a rifle around here somewhere....
Know what I'm sayin'? G'head... look at me "wrong".
Breathe.
I dare ya. *Nicholson grin, eyebrow included* (Hey man... fuck Eastwood. Nicholson is SCARY.) Anyfrickin'way... while I was *gulp*... buying the... *gag!*... Iggles jersey, I also got another Blue Collar Comedy Tour tape and I also bought "Grease". Yes, the cornball movie with Travolta and company.
That was to (attempt to) make myself feel... less nauseous, you know... better. To try to somehow build up as much "good karma" as possible before tomorrow morning and because it's just plain "beyond me" not to feed a hungry person... I sent Eric to Pop's with chicken potpie (regular and in the crust), two flavors of ice cream, a box of assorted flavors of oatmeal for breakfasts and assorted snacks. Pop is the guy Bill ran over. Y'all remember him. He's still not back to work yet, in a cast, healing, but being left stranded by his mostly good, but highly knuckleheaded, son. Pop threatened to eat his geese and I stopped that shit. Hell, I'll feed his ass every day to spare those geese, ya know? I'm saving goose lives and Pop's too, I suppose. Man cannot live on mayonaise alone. (Though Pop was tryin'...)
*shaking head*
Poor bastard. Ah well. Whatcha gonna do?
All I know is "feed the guy", fer fuck's sake.
Hell, I can't even eat before I feed my critters. Mostly because it just bugs me to do that, but also because THEY bug me when I do that.
Ain't no way I can sit here feeding my face, knowing there's an old man right over there (closer than the silo, even) who's hungry and can't get out to get food. (Plus, he'd be the first one I'd look to for that rifle... *giggle*)
Know what, though? Give ya an idea what kinda guy he is... he's got critter food for his critters... just nothing for himself. That might have something to do with the fact that they're "his kid's" animals and the kid is the one doing his "shopping" for him, but still... makes me feel like it's okay to worry about the human first, before his animals, because his animals are taken care of.
Now, that's a first for me... (or such a rarity as to be a "first" both times it's happened in my life.... IF it ever HAS happened before.) (Can't remember it if it has...) Well, aaaanyway... Eric's in here, now and I feel need coming on to visit the "library", then I think I'm gunna go to bed. I took a short walk earlier to see if I could find Norman and there were TONS of animal tracks in the snow. None human, all animal. That made me wanna go out there either very, very late or really early in the morning to see whom I can "meet" out there.
Oughta be fun.
And cold.
But-
I think I'm gonna do it.
In the early morning. Meantime, I just started the Blue Collar tape, so I'm outta here. (Guess that Stephen King book is gonna hafta wait a bit...) Peace
Comments
1
The Vermont people have been contacted and the semi full of flatulent teddy bears is on its way!
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Posted by: BlogDog at February 01, 2005 12:28 AM (gjrlK)
2
Eagles huh, could be worse think REDSKINS.
Posted by: James old guy at February 01, 2005 10:41 AM (s5wS/)
3
Damn - someone beat me to it....
Posted by: Mad Mikey at February 01, 2005 12:01 PM (ysS8l)
4
Alright, kid...even though t'would better to have a daughter as the only slut in a Chinese navy whore-house than to have an off-spring not only disliking the Eagles, her father's, grandfather's, brother's and all right-thinking animal-lovers and horse folks favorite team, but actually thinking the Dallas Cowgirls are worthy of anything more than existing on a (very) small island in the far reaches of the Pacific Ocean, with only a barely adequate water supply and a diet of whatever fish they could catch, coconuts, raw monkeys, and crow--feeling quite fortunate that any law-enforcement officers, and the penal system imprisonments that so many of them richly deserve are thousands of miles away is quit disappointing to me,and may be forgiven only when it is remembered how she has suffered from the anguish of a wayward mother, several completely undeserving boyfriends and similar husbands, and the ravages of non-prescription drugs that she has been subjected to for so long, not to mention HER run-ins with lawmen (while being their co-worker, and later more of being quarry),surviving only because of the efforts of her most wonderful, loving and Eagle-supporting (not to mention hung and handsome ,since we're in the fantasy mode)FATHER! Wear the green shirt of injured, and still striving to play, T.O. proudly and you will enjoy the experience, not to mention the increase in tips. (Sorry about the short,choppy sentences.)
Alright, kid...even though t'would better to have a daughter as the only slut in a Chinese navy whore-house than to have an off-spring not only disliking the Eagles, her father's, grandfather's, brother's and all right-thinking animal-lovers and horse folks favorite team, but actually thinking the Dallas Cowgirls are worthy of anything more than existing on a (very) small island in the far reaches of the Pacific Ocean, with only a barely adequate water supply and a diet of whatever fish they could catch, coconuts, raw monkeys, and crow--feeling quite fortunate that any law-enforcement officers, and the penal system imprisonments that so many of them richly deserve are thousands of miles away is quit disappointing to me,and may be forgiven only when it is remembered how she has suffered from the anguish of a wayward mother, several completely undeserving boyfriends and similar husbands, and the ravages of non-prescription drugs that she has been subjected to for so long, not to mention HER run-ins with lawmen (while being their co-worker, and later more of being quarry),surviving only because of the efforts of her most wonderful, loving and Eagle-supporting (not to mention hung and handsome ,since we're in the fantasy mode)FATHER! Wear the green shirt of injured, and still striving to play, T.O. proudly and you will enjoy the experience, not to mention the increase in tips. (Sorry about the short,choppy sentences.)
Posted by: haveayen at February 01, 2005 02:32 PM (VPYMW)
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