Well, that wasn't so bad....

I was up for 32 hours and slept for eight and a half.

Since I've been up, I've installed new flea collars on 15 out of 22 cats and two rabbits. Need a total of nine more. But, one cat is nursing a baby, another may be in the process of making another batch, etc., so it's really seven. For now, anyway....

I've also washed my uniform and put away all the clean clothes in the bedroom and made the bed.

And, speaking of washing my uniform... yesterday, I got proof, once again, that God does exist and He likes me. I washed the new white shirt to loosen it up and threw in two of my side towels and a sock or three. I'm standing there, waiting for it to finish "filling" (smallest load you can do) and start agitating, so I can dribble in the bleach.

When it does, as I'm getting ready to pour, I notice something pink flash on top and disappear.
"What da fuck?"
I stop it and there it is again. I pluck it out and it's GUM!!! Can you fuckin' imagine if I hadn't been there to see that immediately?
Thinking about "what mighta been" makes me feel faint... If I had gone back to get that load, opened the washer and seen that white shit covered in gum, I think I simply would have spontaneously combusted.

That's the kinda shit that happens that makes me think God likes me. I know He knows I exist on a daily basis as I seem to be the "on-call 24/7" subject of His highly twisted sense of humor.
But, when He saves my ass like that, it blows my mind. Of course, I also give Him all the credit for green lights and two-tops where the people order the same thing (my absolute favorite kinda customers *giggle*) and Cheech & Chong. These things show me He likes me.

Things like my mother, the fact that I'm stuck being a chick and that Ephedra got banned prove to me that the twisted-ness of His sense of humor knows no bounds.

It's all good. I can handle it.
Though sometimes I do feel a need to remind Him that I'm a Taurus, not a real life Brahma bull, and that my strength DOES know limits, though I don't think I've reached it's true "end" yet and that almost scares me.

Even if there is (and I'm sure there is) more "strength-testing crap" that could break me, I'm not so sure I'd wanna survive it, if ya know what I mean. If it's so bad that my strength finally gives, then... it must be pretty fuckin' horrible and it's easy to see not wanting to deal with the situation, whatever it may be.

I've been through enough of those times where only the idea that He MUST think I can handle this or He wouldn't be expecting me to, so maybe I really can handle it, but I still wish He'd HELP ME HERE PLEASE, to last several lifetimes.

Actually and quite frankly, there have been many times where I was PISSED and screaming out loud at Him for making me live when all I wanted was not to anymore. He'd kill any and everybody around me and leave me standing and I resented the hell outta that for a long time.

Since 2001, I think I'm starting to understand why He did that and now I'm glad He did it. And, I hope to Him He keeps doing it for a while longer. I'd more than love it if I were to be able to have as many good years, here with Eric specifically, as I had bad ones throughout my life.

That's fair, isn't it, which life is notoriously not, I know? (That's why I tend to leave it up to God, not "life"... ya know?)

Eh... to be honest, I think every single day I have now, "erases" about a year of bad, in and of itself.

Yeah, sometimes I get scared witless that things might "change", but I'd much rather just enjoy every single day I do get than worry about when it might end.

And, thank God, I mostly do these days.

I gotta go get ready to sling hash, y'all.
Have as good a day as ya can, okay?

Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 08:01 AM

Comments

Posted by: Mad Mikey at January 11, 2005 12:06 PM (ysS8l)

Posted by: Maeve at January 12, 2005 08:01 PM (6E1RR)

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