Man, I've gotta clean the house now...
This blog looks sooo good, now, I need to get the house caught up. It just feels strange to have the new blog here, in this mess of a house. It's not dangerous or disgusting or anything...just not as nice-lookin' as this is. Be cool if houses had templates that you could have a really cool person set to "Clean, but lived in...occupied by several animals that you don't know about til ya actually see 'em as opposed to havin' your nose knocked off the second ya step in the door.", which is pretty much the way I keep this place.
My mother was insane about cleaning. Well, she was just plain insane...but, when it came to cleaning, she made Felix Unger look like a slob. I was Oscar, according to her. She swore I got hungry just because she just finished cleaning the kitchen. I lived to undo her clean house. Every move I made was to counteract her....
She shouldn'ta flattered herself. I didn't spend that much time thinking about her. Although, if I had been doing it on purpose, who'da blamed me?
When she moved to Florida with my (stupid) boyfriend, I got her car and the house. And, Dad, for about a nano-second. I kept it clean, but I also hung a billboard-sized campaign poster of my high school guidance counselor, Clint Ware, who was also a county Freeholder right in the living room. He was fuckin' gorgeous. He was also the football coach. Man, I miss him....(He died, too. Damn it.)
Anyway.
I'm more casual about house cleaning. I'd much rather have old furniture and animals in my house than leather couches and no animals. I like it clean and smelling good all the time, but I'm not a dusting fanatic and I've pretty much named all the spiders in here and thus, don't wanna mess up their masterpieces, either...unless I hear the Munster's theme song in my head when I see too many cobwebs. I live right in the middle of a farm, so I've got a built-in excuse for the lack of dusting. If I actually tried to do that, between the farm and the fireplace, I'd lose what little I have left of my mind. I'd never be done. By the time I got "done", I'd hafta start all over again. Perpetual dusting...nah. Not me, man.
I'd rather hang out in deerstands. (I hear you giggling. Yeah...that was a pun...)
Here's my house: Ya come in the front door, through the carport. Once you're in and close the door, to your immediate left is the mudroom. This is where the dryer, barn boots, shoes, coveralls and such live. Immediately to your right are three steps up into the 'diningroom', which is used for everything except dining, except by the animals. There is a ceiling fan/light in here, a big cabinet that I got from my Grandpop's house that I keep the dry cat food on top of, a fake fireplace I keep the dog food and water bowls in front of, about 300 stuffed animals/dog toys, the computer, a bookshelf and a hallway. The hallway would be on your left, the kitchen is to the right. It's pretty big. It's got two corner cabinets built in. I've got extra dishes and shit in there. I've got a seperate desk set up in there with the coffee pot and all the shit ya need for that on it, including my Harley air-pot to keep coffee in so it doesn't get gross. The boombox and a ton of CD's are in there too, which is really behind me when I'm on the computer.
Down the hall, the first door on the right is George's room. Right across from his room, is a 'window' cut into the wall that goes thru to the living room. Best we can figure, it's to let the heat from the fireplace in better. Next door is the heater. Next door is the linen closet. Next door is the bathroom which has the washer and a library's worth of books and magazines in it. I also have two team pictures of the old Broad Street Bullies, the three times in a row Stanley Cup winnin' Philadelphia FLYERS!!!! on the walls, along with a huge poster of 'Lonesome Dove' and about 10 cow pictures. There are three mirrors behind the sink and the lights hang on chains.
Next door is my bedroom which is filled with the waterbed. There's a closet that had no doors, so I took two POW flags and sewed them together length-wise and hung them up there. Odd, but cool. There are another 1000 lbs of books in there and Eric and I have completely covered the walls with pictures of each other and cards we've gotten each other.
Back down the hall and back down the steps and to the right is the livingroom. It's dominated by a huge stone and barnboard fireplace. Straight across the room in the wall leading to the mudroom, there's a wagon wheel imbedded in the wall. I like that. The livingroom goes like this: As you walk in on the right and going around to the left, there's a small cabinet full of tapes that the rat lives on top of. Next is the entertainment center, with the TV, VCR and 300 tapes. Then, there's another small table upon which sits my Gandpop's bowling pin-shaped lamp. Next, in the corner and hiding a catbox is a rocking chair. Then the fireplace, which has big sprays of fake flowers on each end and a 3 foot horse-clock, my trophy, two huge potato chip cans, a coupla stuffed (fake) ducks and a bunch collectable NASCAR matchbox cars on it, while it's not being used. One of the ducks on there is wearing a cammo hat and looks like a soldier and the other one looks like a Grandmom. On the other side of the fireplace and hiding another cat box, is another rocking chair. Both chairs are also full of 'stuffies', as Eric calls them. After the second catty-cornered rocking chair comes my end table, my chair, Eric's chair, his endtable, then the couch, angled across the third corner. It has Christmas shit stored behind it, with about 7 or 8 huge stuffed animals sitting on top of that to hide it. On the walls are really pretty 'pictures' of Indians and wolves and such and about 10 Animal House calander pages. Most of John Belushi. The carpet in there is light blue and I have a gorgeous area rug with elk or deer fighting on it in front of our chairs. There's a coffee table angled in front of the couch, too. Oh, and another end table at the end of the couch. My tacklebox is currently sitting on that.
There is also a Georgia State flag (the old one) hanging in the window in the diningroom. Less than three feet from the 'pooter. Above that is a painting of an old man praying before a bowl of soup and a piece of bread. Next to that on each side are wooden candle holders with red candles. I've got a lot of stuff hung in here. Pictures of my Grandpop, John Wayne and Benicio Del Toro, Jesus, Ozzy Osbourne...
I decorate like a teenager....
I have a lot of cat and cow related stuff. I like old things. I either use or display that old stuff. I like bizzare shit, too. I have a 'Gandma in a jar' on the entertainment center.
If I were to sit here and go into even deeper detail, your eyes would glaze over and I'd die of old age trying to get it all said.
Suffice it to say, I'm ecclectic, esoteric and probably even a little eccentric and it shows.
Whadda ya want from a chick who used to own a Ford pickup with deer antlers wired to the grill with "You might be a redneck if...." lettered right above it? Whadda ya want from a chick who has cats named, among other things, Ozzy, Santana, Angus and Malcolm?
I'm just me. What you see is what I am. On here and in my house. I don't have the energy or mindset to try to appear to be one way, when I'm really another. I don't say one thing and think another. I don't act one way and feel another.
That smacks of lying to me and I just don't do it. It's too complicated and dangerous for me to waste any time on, ya know?
Besides, who wants to live in a friggin' museum?
Comments
Posted by: AmyVegas at November 04, 2003 09:26 AM (lBFdX)
It'd be endless...
Posted by: Stevie at November 04, 2003 05:41 PM (aX+aF)
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