Hi...I'm back!
That was fun. Got my Coffeemate, got my shower, washed the hair, got dressed-warmly-and went on out there. I was even wearin' my duster. Which is probably why it was warm enough not to need it. It laid in a heap next to my pile o'crap until well after dark. Then, it did get cold. My fingers, nose and boobs froze almost off. Hell, even my TEETH were cold. I could feel it with my tongue. (Anybody got'ny thing ELSE cold they want me to feel with my tongue? LMAO- I just know somebody was already thinkin' that....)
You guys! Before I did all that, though, remember I had to go get the horse? Gawd. What a stubborn little...ugh. Now, the poor dear is about 30 years old and nearly blind as a bat (and I mean the baseball kinda bat, too) and I understand all that. But, still...I'm out there with her oats and a lead snapped onto her halter, tryin' to convince her to follow me. Normally, if you just turn your back to the horse and walk, they're likely to follow. Try to get one to come with you when you're facing them and they're more liable to balk. With her, it made no difference. I coulda stood on my head and she'd have remained unmoved. The next trick is to spin 'em around and try again. Anything to just get 'em to move. It kinda worked. About 14 times. I felt like some kinda deranged Michael Jackson wannabe spinnin' my way back around that pond with her. If anybody was watching who didn't know why I was doing it, they probably thought I was on acid or some damn thing. She wouldn't even come for the oats. I shook that bucket half to death, too. Booger.After I got un-dizzy from that, I decided to check in on the goat and see what he was up to. Plus, I gave Miss Gia two carrots and I had one for him, too. So, I went over, plunked my butt down on the bucket I had with me (upside down) (the bucket-not me) and hung out with Mr. Wm. Goat. I noticed he needed to be moved down to the next huge patch of grass, so I did that. Then, I saw he needed water. So, I got that bucket and headed for the hose. I passed the horses bucket on the way and saw she needed water, too. Fine.
I get to the spigot and there's this huge pile of knotted up, tangled up, dirty rubber-type shit, masquerading as the hose. I fuck with that for about 15 minutes and finally get it straightened out. It goes three quarters of the way to the horse waterer (thing). So, I fill the goat bucket, take it to the horse tub, drop it off, drag the horse tub over to the end of the hose, stick it in and deliver the goat water while it fills. I come back to see water pouring out the side, high up, thru a split in the seam. "Well, it's still pretty full" I think to myself and go right on by, back to the spigot and shut it off and coil the hose next to it NEATLY.
Then, I drag the mostly full water tub as far back to where it goes as I can, then I heft the fuckin' thing and carry it the rest of the way.
By then, I'm hyperventilating.
So, on my way back to the house, I, Miss SmartAss, stop in the parlor to bust Eric's stones about the hose and the pain in the ass method of watering the horse. I describe in lurid detail (much like I've done here) what I went through. I started by asking him "So. That hose you use to water the horse? Do you pay a professional or did you create the knotted monstrosity that it was yourself?" I go on to ask why the hell it has to be such an unmitigated pain right in the buttocks to water two animals. He gives me this sweet little "Ain't you so cute, YA DOPE?" look and says, all innocent "I don't do all that. I just take a five-gallon bucket, fill it, tip 80% of it into Gia's tub and take the rest to the goat. I never even really move the hose."
Sigh....
I got in the house and it hit me...I think I water the horse and the goat the same way I trackback.
Comments
1
Heh. 
Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 25, 2003 06:51 AM (jtW2s)
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