Hi there...

How are y'all doin'?
I'm jest fiiine, thanks for wondering, if indeed you were, which many, many people who know me do. About many, many things....

Anyway....

I'm exhausted. Since Wednesday, if I've had nine hours of sleep, I'd like to see some proof of it. I've been lucky to see three hours a coupla times. And, one of those times was sprawled out in the recliner...

I did 5 hayrides yesterday. Three back-to-back, from about 9:30am til noon, then two more last night. Those are the ones through the woods, with no lights, in the dark... with double wagons, I might add. Hell, every ride I did was a double.

I did good. Din't hit nuttin'. Not even a person with a stick or anything.

In fact, in spite of the load of shit that was poured over me like the blood on Carrie at that prom, once again, by that man (and no, I do NOT mean Eric), I'm doing fuckin' fantastic. Really.

So much good has come out of that bullshit that I can barely remember it all. Not only have I gotten to talk to, like... FIVE of my favorite people about all this shit, there are other, even cooler, things that have happened.

Not the least of which are the changes that are occuring in me. And, I don't just mean getting my hair cut, which I did and my God, it's gorgeous again... I mean inside me. Because, Baby, things are definitely different than they used to be.
On more than one level, too...

BUT... I reeeally don't have the strength to get into it very well right now and I'm in the middle of straightening up the house before I go the HELL TO BED!!! (Damn it... *grin*) There are supposed to be about three guys here today to do the engine swap from the blue Bird to the white one and I want the house ready for that, even if it means I sleep through most of the time they're here. (Which I won't anyway, because I wanna help work on the car. I love doing that stuff...)

I just wanted to pop in and say I'm doin' good. My Dad's been here a few times and me not having anything new up is probably making him wonder, too, altho he knows I'd call if I needed to. (He's at work, so I can... *wry grin*)

Well, anyhow, I'm gonna go get this shit done and slip into a coma for a while. I don't know for sure how much time or energy I'm gonna have to do much heavy posting in the next coupla days, but I will be around... somewhere.

In the meantime, I just want to say Thank you and send oodles of love vibes to my Dad, Eric, Paul, Mad Mikey and Mad William Flynt. In fact, this post of Mad Wm's. from 1/1/2004 says what I'm feeling waaaay much better than I could. It's the second one down, starting with "I'm just stunned..." and ending with "Anger without guilt feels really weird." Yes, Mad Wm., it does, doesn't it?

I also got a lot out of a post at Rob's, which linked to a post at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler's, which had a link to another of Misha's posts, in the comments of which I found a LOT of good thinking about a similar situation to what I got handed...
I'll admit, it's not exactly the same thing, but... being betrayed, dumped, shit one... call it whatcha want, by someone you trustED sucks, no matter who it is.

But, it can't be all bad, when this much good comes out of it, now can it?

In closing, let me quote Stevie Nicks and say this to my past:

Dreams
(Stevie Nicks)

Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat .. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost ...
And what you had ...
And what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say .. Women ... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean .. you'll know

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and ...
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness ...
Like a heartbeat ... drives you mad ...
In the stillness of remembering what you had ...
And what you lost ...
And what you had ...
And what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say .. Women ... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean .. you'll know

And, "What about now?", you ask....

Lem'me say this, again quoting the ever beautiful Stevie Nicks:

Rhiannon
(Stevie Nicks)

Rhiannon rings like a bell thru the night
and wouldn't you love to love her?
She rules her life like a bird in flight
and who will be her lover?

All your life you've never seen
a woman - taken by the wind
Would you stay if she promised you heaven?
Will you ever win.........?

Rhiannon......
Rhiannon......
Rhiannon......

She is like a cat in the dark
and then she is the darkness
She rules her life like a fine skylark
and when the sky is starless

All your life you've never seen
a woman..taken by the wind...
Would you stay if she promised you heaven?
Will you ever win.....?
Will you ever win.....?

Rhiannon......
Rhiannon......
Rhiannon......

Dreams unwind
Love's a state of mind...

Unless, of course, it's real, huh Eric?
Thank you, Baby, most in particular.
In fact, thank you for every single day of my life since September 24, 2001.
And, for all the days yet to come.
You truly are a gift from God.

Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 04:03 AM

Comments

Posted by: RP at October 23, 2004 09:46 AM (LlPKh)

Posted by: Mad Mikey at October 23, 2004 11:51 AM (Qd8TD)

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