Oh, wonderful....

http://www.google.com/search?h...led+underpants+texas+death+row

I'm #10 on this search.
Sigh.

At least this time, I know why. Tiger's interview questions. And, my "I see London, I see France. I see no point in underpants" thing...lol.

In other news, Acidman is currently MIA. He posted yesterday morning, around 11:30am about going to lunch with a lady friend. Ain't heard a peep since.
This is one of the many reasons I get a little exasperated with him when he goes on so about being old. Old, my ass.

In local news, somebody or something set off a skunk out in the driveway. I went out there to let one of the dogs go pee and on the first inhale, I knew exactly how those people in the Pepe LePew cartoons feel. My face just froze in this "What in the fuck?" expression....Gawd. I just hope it wasn't April who did it. If it was, she won't be comin' in for a while. Whew-eee. Odiferous lil' shits, ain't they?

Oh...and, y'all ain't even gonna believe this one. Those two assnuggets did not bring Eric his shirt. They didn't bring him anything that was his, actually. They did, however, for reasons known only to them, bring him some new stuff. Coupla pairs of jeans, shirts, socks...I don't know what-all. Don't know why, exactly, either.
The goofiest thing that managed to happen while I stayed as far away as I could was, at one point, while we were all in the living room and George had just gone to the kitchen, she leaned over and stage-whispered to Eric "Who is George?" He and I looked at each other and I shot him a "Do what?" kinda look and he asked her why she wanted to know. She said "Oh, I was just wondering. He's not related to you, is he?" He told her no and she dropped it. We never did explain that whole deal. Two reasons:1. Like she doesn't already know. The BC knows and she's got a mouth like a foghorn. I'm sure she's mentioned it a time or two. 2. If she don't know...good. Ain't nunna her bidness anyhow. Fucknut.
She also kept going on (and ON) about how 'white the dogs teeth are!' and how good they smell. (They wear flea collars that make 'em smell good and they've only got about 49 lbs. of bones around here to chew on...) And, she kept holding up this one kitten who still has an upper respiratory infection we're fighting with, listening to him breath. You can hear the little turd across the fuckin' room, wheezing, but she's gotta hold him up to her ear like a PHONE. I wouldn't have been a bit surprised if she'd have starting talking into his ass. Not one bit.
She also kept going on about how different Eric looks. She kept saying how good (of) care I take of the animals and him. (Thank you. Please shut up now.)

No such luck. He listened to a good hours worth of horse hooey about the BC.
I, myself, turned the radio on to the oldies station and turned up Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis and made the cookies.
We survived it and we'll survive the BC, too. But, sometimes, I get so fuckin' scared...We need a lwayer for him and I just don't see how we can do it. Of course, if we'll ever be able to, it'll be while we're here and George is, too.
It's getting ready to slow down in the remodeling biz, so George will be able to get me to work and home 'til I can get my license back-which I'm qualified to do, I just need to get a job to get it. But, I need a license to get a job. Isn't that cute? I'll get there. I have to. I'm starting to get tired of sitting on my butt so much, even though Eric loves me being here all the time and it'll take some of the pressure offa him. I still ain't sure how we're gonna afford a lawyer or get his 'arrears' paid off (which are for HER, not child support, btw...).
Sometimes, like now, I get so scared of what could happen to him that I feel sick. I want to be able to keep the worst of it off him, or just to be ready for whatever. But, how do ya do that when ya don't know when, or what or how it's gonna be? If only she'd just stop...or die. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just that dying is the only way she'll stop.
Or, if we could get out to Idaho. He keeps talking about talking to his Mom. But, again, it would help a lot to have my license for that. His is suspended in Jersey because of the back alimony shit and he can't get it here, without paying off the whole back amount-which kills my heart to even think of-which would also be the 'bail', if the worst happened. (Christ, my arms went numb at the thought...)
Sometimes, I get so scared...and I wonder if anything that I do manage to do really matters...like keeping ring bologna and smoked swiss cheese and all the other stuff like that that he likes in the house. Those baths, the other little things...what does any of that really matter when I can't do the one thing he needs done the most? I can get a job...no problem. I can keep it and make it waitressing for the money. But, there's all the back crap and a lawyers retainer, if ever we could do that. That's so HUGE. I really hate it that when I see a police car, my heart seizes for an instant. Even though I was told by the people in the Family Court over there that this type of stuff doesn't normally cross state lines, I still feel a stab when I see the cars. Anywhere.
And, for some odd reason, Joe's old lady (literally...heh) seemed surprised at the idea that Eric is going to get a divorce. She actually said "You know she's not gonna allow that." Like she can stop it...This is why I don't like these people. I don't need this shit. I beat myself up enough without them handing me more logs.

The one good thing about this problem, is that it is the ONLY problem we have. Thank you, sincerely, God, for that.

But, it is one HELL of a problem. And, it's all because of money. Or, more specifically, the lack thereof.

Sorry to depress you guys...but, writing out that it's the only problem did make me feel a little better. And, getting all that off my chest helped, too. Maybe now, I won't want to be asleep constantly and I'll be able to actually taste my cigarettes and coffee again. Maybe I'll stop feeling like throwing up and crying all at the same time, too.

Know what I did? After I did that 'fake rant' the other day about winning the lottery, I bought two scratch off tickets on Friday and I haven't scratched 'em yet. They're in the console of the Firebird and I haven't even remembered to tell Eric yet. And...now that I think of it, I remember him saying something to the fossil about us not wasting money on that kinda shit, because he knows she does alot. And, remember, she's already loaded. (Which, btw, if she cared sooo much about Eric and what the BC could possibly do, don'tcha think she'd DO something to help him instead of just starting shit all the time?)

I'm gonna go bring them in and put 'em some place Eric will find 'em. It's fun to watch him do...After all that, it'd be cool if he won, too...(smiling)

(I'm proud of me. I made it all the way through all of that without one tear falling. Eyes were full, yeah..but none fell. Thank you, you guys, for just being here...)

Posted by: Stevie at 02:46 AM

Comments

Posted by: Eric at October 22, 2003 10:25 AM (QvOMA)

Posted by: AmyVegas at October 22, 2003 03:18 PM (lBFdX)

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