Random shit that is still true...
@ 4:06:58 AM comments(2)
More strange shit from inside my head...
These are things, not necessarily related to anything, that are in my tangled brain...
If I hadn't screwed around in school, I would have become a forensic pathologist. That shit is fascinating. I am appalled by what was done to Randy & Vickie Weaver at Ruby Ridge, Idaho. I think it is perfectly fitting and a testament to the existance of Karma that the idiot who ran over Stephen King is now dead. Good. Asshole. I fucking hate rap. Dwight Yoakam is a pussy. And, I used to LOOOVVVEEE him. I find it fascinating that cows and dairy farmers are able to maintain life with NO BRAIN FUNCTION WHATSOEVER. Cows...dairy farmers. Coincidence? I think not. *There are only two ways to understand women-and nobody knows either of them. *The quickest way to a man's heart is through his left ventricle. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. (Think about it...) Four out of five proctologists surveyed recommend sugarless suppositories for people who CHEW suppositories. Be alert. The world needs more lerts. "Max Dugan Returns" is a GREAT movie. Sam Kinnison....damn I miss him. He was the funniest sumbitch. I hope the asshole who killed him has a long, horrible life. Dash Goff, Suzanne Sugarbaker's ex-husband from "Designing Women" (played by Delta Burk's real husband Gerald McRaney) reminds me of Acidman. I think. Gia Carangi was the first "Supermodel", not that twat Janice Dickenson-or whatever her last name is. Fresh cowshit smells GOOD. Chickenshit does not. BABY shit is even worse. And, it comes in an alarming assortment of highly unnatural COLORS. I love the smell of a freshly opened tin of Copenhagen. No, I don't dip. I hate spit. But, Eric does. I thank God every day for Juan Valdez and whoever invented Coffeemate. I think wrestling is stoopid...BUT- I love Bret Hart and would gladly shoot Vince McMahon in the face whether Bret asked me to or not. Ugly asshole. Walks like he's got a corncob stuck up his ass.
Okay, then. I feel better now. That's no where near ALL the shit in my head, but it is a good start. Now, about those *'s. The ones marked with an *, were borrowed from a guy from the 60's named Biff Rose. He was a folkie, I believe, with a warped sense of humor. I e mailed him about a year and a half ago and he e mailed me back HIMSELF. I saved that one. Anybody besides me ever hear of him or his song called "Buzz the Fuzz"? It is awesome (funny). So is he. Once there was a fellow and his name was Buzz.
He was a rookie cop-just a baby fuzz.
He patrolled the Sunset strip in the land of the free and the home of the hip.
He protected you and me until he met a girl named Alice D. Alice was a girl that all good hippies dread.
And, they called her "Sweet Alice D. head".
Alice, it was plain to see, was full of pot and STP.
She'd attract a great big crowd,
Because her inner peace was MUCH TOO LOUD. Buzz did the thing the good fuzz must.
Shoved his gun in Alice's chest and said "This is a bust."
He shone the flashlight to her eyes,
She began to hypnotize...
Buzz said "What a wild sensation. This must be hallu, hallu, cina, cina, tion, tion, tion." Love is so sensational.
When you fall in love with eyes dilational. Buzz said "Alice, you I like. Come take a ride on my fuzzy bike. Soon it will be getting dark and we can watch the stars from Griffith Park." So, they both went out and dug astrology-ee-ee-eee-ee-ee...
Through their mutual hallucinology-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee.
Now their takin' pills and shots and
Buzz is not afraid of Watts.
Buzz and Alice D. have shown the way of where the fuzz might be some day. Buzz is still a cop, of course.
He's the pusher on the force.
He's protecting you and me
From e-v-i-l women like poor Alice D.
You've got to HEAR the melody to get the full effect, but it's still funny. Well, I have to PEE again, so I'll be going now.
Peace to
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