Yahoo headlines...

make my brain hurt sometimes, the way they're worded. These aren't ALL worded badly, but they're gems, in any case... (there's only one I won't fuck with...)

• N.J. governor resigns, admits gay affair- Par for the course, for Jersey. Now, can we get someone to admit that the whole state sucks and is in dire need of some major administrative overhauls in the car insurance, family court and personal freedoms categories, do ya think? Prolly not.

• Florida warns 1 million to flee hurricane- Exactly ONE million? Not a million and, say, seven? What'd they do? Count 'em? Better hope they didn't use the "chad" system for this. There'll be people fleeing TO Florida, if they did. The second way this hit me was as if it were worded thusly: Florida warns: One million to flee hurricane... As if it's a bad thing or Florida is warning the hurricane that it better hurry up as people are fleeing... Just kinda dumb.

• U.S. soldier killed in Najaf offensive- This sucks and is sacrosanct. I won't mess with a dead American soldier... ever.

• Calif. court voids S.F. gay marriages- Is "voids" the best word for this? Sounds like they "shit" 'em. They've just gotta drag butts into this, don't they? Wouldn't "overturns" or "throws out" work better, be a little clearer, here? Be less of a sick-n-twisted pun, perhaps?

• Heat waves may worsen in U.S., Europe- Must be one hell of a HUGE heatwave to affect both places at the same time... and, uuummm... IT'S AUGUST!!!! You were expecting FROST, you idiots? Gee, ya THINK it might get hotter? (Scotty, beam my ass UP, pleeeeease?)

• Studies find rats can get hooked on drugs- And how many millions of dollars did we waste on this bit of info that I coulda told ya myself? For the love of God... what's next? A ten trillion dollar study to find out that farts stink?

• Heffron is NBC's 'Last Comic Standing'- Who gives a fuck? Is there so little of import going on in the world, that THIS should be a fuckin' headline?

My achin' ass.

Posted by: Stevie at 03:51 AM

Comments

Posted by: Anne at August 14, 2004 01:12 AM (170jx)

Processing 0.0, elapsed 0.0044 seconds.
18 queries taking 0.0035 seconds, 9 records returned.
Page size 4 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.