TWO pages from an analysts notebook...

(Spork, you ARE an intuitive lil booger, sticking ME in this one...)

So, here they are...

Page One

This is the case history of Stevie, who is suffering from a grapefruit complex. She also has abnormal fears of tyrants and screaming schizophernia. (Spork, you turd!... lmao) As a child, she had a clueless mother (so TRUE!!!) who never let her bitch-slap outside and paid no attention to her clueless parents. (Well, mom did ignore Dad, except to drive him nuts...) Also, the father (watch it!) refused to let her play Little League useless bauble. (Ooookay...) When she was 12 years old, the pet *water moccasin ran away on a rainy night, which is why she screamed at the moon during thunder storms. It's no wonder that today she never leaves the blasting cap and spends all day watching ballroom dancing on TV while eating boxes of crying hyena biscuits.
My professional recommendation: Commit Stevie to a spa for a weeks worth of pack o'Wacky Packs baths, facial accidents and shiatsu stuff with a big, burly reason.

My Gawd. Now I know about how RP feels.
*This is about the only kinda animal I DIDN'T have as a pet, not that they weren't available in the pond next door, but... no thanks.
Also... facial ACCIDENTS? Well, okay... maybe for a big, burly REASON... lmao.

Okay, now for Paul's. For this one, I need to add one lil thang... a last name to the "Person in the Room", because Paul's person is "Doctor", coincidentally enough, so for clarification (swear that's the ONLY reason, too... *snort*), I've decided that this doctor's last name is gonna beeeee.... Thomlinson. 'Kay? Good. Here we go, then...

Page Two

This is the case history of Dr. Thomlinson, who is sufferng from a jackhammer complex. He also has abnormal fears of balloons and purple schizophrenia. As a child, he had a snotty mother, who never let him twist outside and paid no attention to his clocks. Also, the father refused to let him play Little League boot. When he was eleventy-seven years old, the pet yak ran away on a rainy night, which is why he departed at the moon during thunderstorms. It's no wonder that today he never leaves the tantrum and spends all day watching badminton on TV while eating boxes racoon biscuits.
My professional recommendation: Commit Dr. Thomlinson to a spa for a weeks worth of hat baths, facial books and shiatsu carrots with a big, burly computer.


"Raccoon biscuits"? God help me, I can't breathe after that....

These things are so frickin' silly... I LOVE 'EM!!!
New list in the EP.... (Hey... I like that. "New list in the Elvis Presley..." I thought that "EP" looked familiar...)

Adjective
Noun
Plural noun
Adjective
Adjective
Verb ending in "ing"
Verb ending in "ing"
Adjective
Adjective
Noun
Food (plural)
Part of the body (plural)
Adjective
Vehicle
Food (plural)
Food (plural)
Something alive (plural)
Something alive (plural)
Adverb
Noun

Have at it....

Posted by: Stevie at 08:07 AM

Comments

1 I still remember the night the water moccasin ran
away (his little legs churning like mad), and how it affected you. I had wanted to buy you an aardvark, but your mother, claiming your aunts
would be terrified of the aardvark, insisted upon a water moccasin! When I first saw him, I knew he was a worthless snake in the grass. I saw him offer you the apple that time. I wanted to run
out and stop him, but I suddenly saw that I was naked, and had to leave the garden. The whole thing was giving me a headache, but your mother told me Moses had taken the tablets. I ran down the mountain to catch him, but but was overtaken by swarms of locusts, and plagued by voracious frogs. As I was fleeing I saw Mia Farrow. "Please", I cried,"Tell my friends the trouble I'm in!!" That rotten wench replied,
"No, I will not
let your people know!"

For forty years I wandered the deserts of Alloway, searching for milk and honey to give you so you would forget the lost snake, (which had originally slithered out from under a hot-rod that belonged to my brother, Aaron.) I was starving most of the time, and prayed for food.
One day, I saw something strange falling from the heavens...It was an Amana!! There was enough food
in that freezer to sustain me for weeks. I know all this sounds strange to you, but I think I might write a book about it someday. I wish I'd bought the aardvark, Love. Have a nice day.

Your (somewhat) Heavily Father...



Posted by: haveayen at August 07, 2004 12:11 PM (8+cBB)

2 But you did, at least, let her Twist outside, right?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 07, 2004 02:05 PM (Fz57h)

3 crunchy
toothbrush
bunny rats
rubber
smarmy
exploding
melting
lumpy
detachable
piggy bank
twinkies
pickled peppers
flesh-colored
pogo stick
magic mushrooms
Cracker Jacks
jellyfish
lemon trees
inadvertently
grandmother

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 07, 2004 04:42 PM (Fz57h)






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