I dunno what this means, buuut...
I'm hangin' out in Melly's archives, reading, laughing, tearing up sometimes too, and all the while the song (How Do You Solve a Problem Like) "Maria" from "The Sound of Music" is blasting in my head.
I love that movie, this chick is incredible and I wish I had known Waistdog.
I wanna move to Texas before I die just so I can meet Melly and Jett. I would never have believed women like them existed.
Lord, I have changed, grown, become different since I started blogging. Back when I started, I hated everybody, basically. Myself, the most... then, women in general, then the world at large. Men, I've always just loved, no matter how much they pissed me off sometimes. Now, I'm sitting here teary eyed from love and mild frustration that I'll probably never get to meet these women. Dad, remember when you told me I oughta have a few female friends? Well, had there been any around like these two, I mighta listened to that advice.
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, grinning at what I remember Jett looking like in the pictures in her former blog design. I can see her telling off a tail-gating truck driver one minute and cuddling an abused child the next.
I can see her driving away, leaving rooster tail plumes of Texas dust hanging in the air while her ex stands there quoting Spin Doctor lyrics. Then, I picture her gently joking with her son about the number of "Celeste's" (I think the name was) there are in his class. Then, I remember her commenting and making me feel welcomed, safe and already liked waaaay back on Blogspot.
This woman is "class" personified.
Like I said before, I'd noticed Melly in Jett's and Yvonne's comments. Last week sometime, someone had upset Yvonne, I think, and Melly left this utterly perfect, like, one line comment and I just had to pop in and mention how much she impressed me with that.
Believe it or not, that still wasn't when I FINALLY (right) clicked (to 'open in new window') on her name and saw her blog. Nope. I finally did that just the other day. The more I read, the more amazed, yet somehow not surprised, I am by this lady.
She keeps making me feel more and more at home with every Clark Griswold quote, movie quote and "like" in the middle of sentences she uses. What I did this time was jumped into her archives by searching the word "Dad". (I'm tellin' ya, the guy is CUTE!) Anyway... (giggle), it gives you a list of posts. I clicked on the first one of those (right click to new window), read the linked post, then wind up three weeks away, prior or past, reading post after post. Her post titles just draw ya right along. I like everything I'm learning about her, too. She mimes. I, personally, thought Shields and Yarnell were pretty cool back in the day. And, Joey Tribiani's Marcel Marceau imitation in that "Goodfella's Bracelet" episode of "Friends" was pretty good, too... lol. I even got to hear Melly do an imitation of a 'lonely people's video'... thanks, Jett!!!
I also got a peek at a more recent picture of her Dad... with LONG HAIR!!! It was a coupla years ago, because her son is a baby baby, just a little guy, but... excellent hair, Sir.
Ya know?
I also showed Eric a picture of Melly and Matt. He was in here, cleaning his saddle and I'm sitting here giggling, answering outloud what I'm reading every once in a while and just generally havin' a blast, when he finally asks me, "Who ya readin' now?"
"Well, I was at Jett's, you know her, right? Texas, blonde, cool, "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong", remember I showed ya her before and told ya about that, with that ex of hers?"
"Uh-huh..."
"I went from there, back to Melly's. I mentioned her yesterday?... I think? Wanna see her? She's really pretty..."
"Uh-huh..." (Plays it cool, this one does...)
So, I showed him the picture she has of her and Matt. Told Eric, "See? She kinda looks like Alicia Silverstone, just prettier..."
"Yep..." (Goes back to oiling saddle after one more glance... and a grin.)
He said the other day, when I was in the middle of telling him some blog-related thing, "Ya know... you guys are all, like, related or something. Like one big family on there. Everybody knows everybody and you all get along so good... do you see that?"
"Uh-huh..." *grin*
*Several minutes later, after re-reading this...*
Lord....
I have no idea where I'm going with this. In fact, I can hear the opening strains of "Maria" again, so I suppose I oughta just shut up and go read some more, but I just had to get it out that, I, the mysogynistic misanthrope, am starting to really, really like (oh, hell no... LOVE) some of you people. Some of you FEMALE people, especially.
Amy,
Jane,
Snow,
Jett,
Yvonne,
Melly....
Don't get me wrong, here, either. Every single woman on my blogroll is pretty fuckin' cool, or I'd not have her 'rolled in the first place. There is something mostly undefinable about each one that I connect with.
Those others of you... I see so many bits of myself in all of you and somehow it's making me whole. You guys are, like, introducing me to myself (all over again for the first time) and this time, I like me. I like you guys A LOT and when I see those bits of me, in you... you're drowning out my mother. You're overpowering all the guys who made me hate me for what I now know were THEIR failings or faults. You're changing my mind about me and showing? teaching? letting?... me heal.
I'm sorry I can't be anymore articulate than this about it all. It's so very important to be doing, to be being given this chance... opportunity... this gift.
Maybe being (just) a (dumb old) girl really is okay. Maybe being ME is okay, too.
All I know for sure is I like the whole idea better now than before and I have y'all to thank for it.
And, to thank God FOR.
Believe me, I do, too.
Posted by: Stevie at
01:34 AM
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