Oh, I can die now, by the way.
I have seen everything.
They now have a new toilet, not a bidet, that pisses back at ya. I just saw the commercial for it for the first time. They show people trying to get clean, like in a shower with no running water, with toilet paper. The point is, you wouldn't try to clean any other part of yourself with just toilet paper, so why do we do it when we go to the bathroom? Gee, I don't know. Because it works?It has this little appendage that comes out from under the back of the seat and pees at you. Then, it blows on you to get ya dry.
This one old lady says "It energized me. Isn't that strange?" Yeah. It is kinda weird for people to become sexually aroused by a toilet. Then, some guy says "I'll never go back." Okay. Well, have fun with your new girlfriend there, Buddy.
I swear.
I'll bet if you asked these people if they ever pee in the shower, they'd freak. It's okay to get a shower every time you pee, but it's not okay to pee in the shower. 'Kay. Whatever. Bye, now...
Reminds me of a guy I knew named Mike. Utterly horrified at the idea of peeing in the shower but thought nothing of licking a dollar bill to get a soda machine to accept it. EW! Fuckin' goofball.
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