So...

Yesterday, not long after that last philosophical post o'mine, I started doin' it. I put dooowwwwn the coffee cup and picked up a great big old ex-beermug and started drinking water. Stuff's not bad. So, I kept doing it. While I was doing that, I also swallowed a Diruex and about 4 (sissy, ballless or non-Ephedra) Metabolife.

Then I hiked out to the stream with a sickle bar and chopped my way up a goodly part of it.

On way my out there I pass this one small pond. Has a few turtles, some frogs... pretty standard. Except... on my way out and back, I saw the same three frogs together. They didn't say anything one way or the other, but I'm pretty sure these guys are the Budweiser frogs. I'm gonna see if I can't find that lizard, what's his name? Louie?... that hangs with 'em.

I also got within 3 feet of a groundhog and then almost got runned over by a deer. Don't think it was a reindeer, but still...

"Semi-fat Chick got runned over by a fast deer, on her way out to the stream. You can say there's no such thing as 'mistaken karma meant for a hunter', but as for Semi-fat chick, she believes."

Gawd, she was gorgeous... I'm assuming 'she' cause there were no antlers or any other male lookin' appendages as she leapt and boing-ed her way across the field.

Oh, and the best part... I finally found crayfish in the stream. I've been looking every summer since we've been here. Now, all I need is a small tank and an airpump for it and I can have my favorite pets again.

Yes, pets.
No, I do NOT keep them to eat or use for bait.
How fuckin' RUDE is that to do? Jeez.

I like having a few in a tank just to watch. You can feed 'em stuff like worms or hamburger and it is sooo cool to watch them eat it. They grab it with the pinchers and sorta hold it up to their chests, then use these little limb/arm/hands things to shred and eat whatever it was you gave them. They also shed their shells every so often and it's cool to keep those, too. I once 'grew' one of those things to over 4" long. He was almost as long as my hand. And, he/she/it was blue. Very pretty.

There are little lizard-looking things in the stream too. Newts, maybe? I dunno. But, I want a coupla them, too. Big enough tank, I could have a frog or two, maybe a little water turtle and no, not a snapper, thanks. They smell and they have a MAJOR attitude problem, kinda like rat-snakes do. I'd just as soon not have ANY snakes, actually. The kinda snakes that live in water ain't the kinda snakes I want in my hands... especially not after having just watched "Lonesome Dove" not long ago. I'm not scared of snakes, but, DAMN.

Aaanyway, I walked at least a little of my ass off yesterday and drank enough water to start my own lake... which I did, in several places out there.

And... I'mina do it again today, too.

And, I'm gonna KEEP doing it.

If it kills me, I'm gonna have the outside of me lookin' as cool as the inside, the part you guys see and seem to like.

I don't wanna be that "cool chick, who needs to drop a few pounds" anymore. Nor have I ever been or wanted to be that "gorgeous, yet stupid, vapid or bitchy chick". Sooo, I'mina take one adjective from each description and make it so.

I choose "cool" and "gorgeous".
These things CAN be done.
And will.

The "cool" part is a gimme. I'm related to Dad and ya can't be related to Dad and be an asshole. I can say that because there are a number of people related to Dad who are not assholes... me, my brother Norman, Dad's sister Linda, Pop-pop... Not that my Grandmom was an asshole, but I sometimes got the idea that she thought we were ALL nuts, so... lol. And, as for Dad's other sister... pfft. She's gorgeous and all... was even a 49-er's cheerleader when she was young, but she acted like I didn't even exist last time she came "home" from Ca., so screw that noise. As for Dad's brother... I swear he most certainly WAS adopted and nobody'll ever convince me otherwise. He couldn't be more unlike Dad if he was a girl... and, if he WAS a girl, he'd be a nun. Mother Superior, by now I betcha. He's had that 'superior' part down for decades, now.

Anyway... except for a coupla fools, the 'cool' part is inherant.
Having a 29 inch waist is also possible. I know this to be true. I still have the jeans... (that've been mocking me every damned day for the last two years).

I WILL WEAR YOU SONS-A-BITCHES AGAIN AND BREATHE AND BEND OVER WITHOUT HURTING ANYTHING!!!!!

Oh yes... I will wear my LBD again. LBD is "little black dress". I still have that, too. And, my little pink half shirt. And, the mini-skirts and Harley tank-tops with the lace-n-shit.

Pretty sure I still have the black high heels to go with the LBD, mini-skirts and even the jeans, if I dig far enough. Which, I will.

I'm even playing at getting tan out in the woods. I keep finding these really nice, secluded patches of sunlight, which is about all the excuse I need to shed clothes.
All in the name of health, right?

Well, hey... I don't wanna go in the pool this summer fully clothed again like last year. I walk over to it swathed in a huge beach towel, then quickly drop the towel and get my T-shirt and shorts-clad ass into the water as quickly as possible. Then, everything stays under, except my head. That distortion that looking through water causes is my best buddy. Or was.

Some day, reeeeeal soon, I'm gonna swagger my slim little ass into Montana West and blow some minds on that bull. I'll be comin' outta nowhere, as far as those 'regulars' are concerned, gorgeous, with the tight jeans, the long (thick, hot, Goddamned) hair and just shut 'em DOWN on that bull.

I can do this.
And, I'm gonna.

Jes' keeeeep watchin'.

Posted by: Stevie at 07:37 AM

Comments

Posted by: Mad William Flint at June 09, 2004 09:48 AM (jRssG)

Posted by: Stevie at June 09, 2004 10:06 AM (XtuCA)

Posted by: AmyVegas at June 09, 2004 02:16 PM (lBFdX)

Posted by: Stevie at June 09, 2004 08:25 PM (NqEQG)

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