Something I told Eric a day or so ago...

When I was working at Wellacrest, if you had asked me at any given time if I was happy, my first answer probably woulda been along the lines of: "Happy? Pffft. Chuck never cleans the drains and the drain covers are shit and the cows keep stepping through 'em. Not to even mention, we need more towels in the parlor and that post-dip Wally's switched to...Peeee-yew. Runny, non-stickin' crap...blah, blah." I could have easily gone on for HOURS...lol.
Plus, until about August of 2001, I was pretty preoccupied with being, or not staying, single. (September 24th, 2001 THAT 'problem' got solved BIG TIME. AFTER I'd said "Ah, screw this. I guess I'll just die alone. Whatever.")
So...I really wasn't aware of how I felt then. Now days, when I think back about that farm, sometimes, it nearly rips my heart out, I want it back so bad. But...it's not the same anymore. New parlor, new people...siiigh. But, I know NOW how happy I actually was then, right?

Well, it occured to me when I was out on Storm a coupla days ago, that THIS may be another one of those times...when I'm happy, but too bunged up with tiny little, stupid, (mostly) meaningless details. Plus, if the kinda shit that we've had to deal with so far is the kinda (triflin') shit we're gonna have to deal with...I'll take it. Cancer...that's a REAL problem. AIDS...again...real problem. Dead or critically injured loved ones....THAT'S a problem. None of that stuff is immediately 'fixable', if at all, like all the 'crap' we have to handle is....
I see that. I appreciate that I see that, too.

Then, after day break this morning, while I was washing the dishes, I saw something that made me think "Now THERE'S something really cool about living here..." There was a HERD of deer in the pasture. So beautiful. Of course, I still had that "Gotta get them the hell outta here before fall..." thought, but I pushed it aside in favor of just watching them be themselves.

(I really wish Bill would just make this a "No Hunting" area. May help him out with the land preservation horse hooey he has to handle now. I don't know the whole story, but it is about 'preservation'...how convincing are ya gonna look 'preserving' shit, when ya let people kill everything from pigeons to deer to people's goats on yer property...the very property yer wantin' to 'preserve'?)

Anyhow...

Since I bitch at every real or imagined opportunity, I figure 'epiphanies' of this sort oughta be acknowledged too.

Oh...and every danged dish is now clean and put away. All counters and flat kitchen surfaces are now clear.
Hallelujah!!!

Off to tend to the laundry some more...

Peace.

Posted by: Stevie at 08:46 AM

Comments

Posted by: Mad William Flint at April 18, 2004 06:10 PM (jRssG)

Posted by: Stevie at April 19, 2004 05:38 PM (3o527)

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