Everybody needs a hero...
And, I just found a new one in "The Best of Craig's List"...
Vasectomy: $400.I love this! Not only did this guy blow her lying ass outta the water, he screwed her one more time before he did it. And, THAT is the most PERFECT KARMA for a cuntbag lying whore that I've ever heard of. BRA-VO!!!!! I truly hope this is the beginning of a trend....
Speechless look on her face: priceless.
Date: 2007-02-06, 2:24PM PST
I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago: I got a vasectomy. I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company. I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl. We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully. Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity. At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri. So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batshit insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it. Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically. It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready. I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared. She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?" Well, she goes batshit insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper. I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately. I tell her simply, "You're screwed". Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared. I continue. "I am sterile" Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of shit. You're trapped and you know it." I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine." This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bullshit, those are fakes." I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine." I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing. I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing. Epilogue - I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women. The Moral of the Story - Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
Comments
1
All juice and no seed.
Posted by: Catfish at February 14, 2007 10:03 AM (d4tiP)
2
Great story. I love to see manipulating women taken down. That sort give the rest of us a bad name.
By the way. I think the word you were looking for in the last post was provoke.
By the way. I think the word you were looking for in the last post was provoke.
Posted by: Libby at February 14, 2007 10:09 AM (DGO1F)
3
Provocative, yes.
Bless you, Darlin'!
I do hope that post comes across correctly.
That the feeling it leaves one with is hope or an extended hand... not fist.
I've been getting increasingly more frustrated at her whole situation for a while now.
I've been sitting on it, mostly... just venting to Paul now and again when the pressure to wanna scream builds up too much.
I mean, for Pete's sake, she deserves better support than she's been getting, ya know?
Not many people in less than stellar circumstances want help (Mr. Smith).
And, when someone rejects offers of help, you just set that part aside and just go on loving them anyway.
You don't keep harping on them about it.
If you do, you're not only gonna turn 'em off even more to the idea of help, you'll also drive them away from you.
With Rob, it was clear that he was not a man asking for help.
That's why, other than telling him to just hang on, Quinton will be back someday, I just kept any other "advice" to myself and, for the most part, turned my attention on those who sought to actively HURT him.
When he displayed his self-destructive behavior, I just let him be. I knew to try to "help" him would only make him do whatever he was doing even more.
It would have only made him that much angrier, that much more determined and it woulda made him not like me very much.
He knew what he was doing to himself and he knew what he needed to do to stop. He didn't need me bugging him about it and, to me, it wasn't worth risking his friendship just to nag at him, ya know?
This other situation isn't like that.
She IS trying to get better, she does listen when offered help... even if it's not really helpful.
That's the part I don't understand the most... if those guys really care about her, why don't they try to really help her grow and learn different ways of seeing things, give her different perspectives, maybe give her the benefit of their experiences and at least caution her about some things?
I've yet to see anybody ever say, "Hey.. ya know what? This doesn't sound good at all. You need to back out of that deal and not let youself be sucked in, lest it turn around and bite you on the ass. Again." (and, I'm kinda generally thinking about that one lady she took care of that has that other "A" woman involved. That whole deal seems destined to cost her in the end...).
They don't say, "Why don'tcha try this, instead?"
They always just say, "Hooray for you, to hell with them" in one manner or another, which is SO not a healthy way to be really, and on soooo many levels.
Somebody needs to care enough to quit patting her on the back long enough to take her face in their hands, look her right in the eye and say, "Stop now. No more of that. Let's do this, or try thinking this way about it instead, okay?"
It's amazing to me, the similarities between this and the endgame in Rob's comments that day back in June.
The parallels are striking, though the circumstances aren't as dire this time, thank God.
Still, the word "enabler" keeps floating across my mind, as does her "in yer face" method of getting through to him.
Noble idea, utterly horrific execution.
What she was REALLY trying to do for Rob is what I'm offering her, now... just not as intensely.
She's trying so hard, in some ways...
Then, she'll turn around and trip over a dust mote and nobody ever tries to help her find a way around it, or even just moves it out of her way.
Just stand her up, make sure that blindfold is still in place and send her on her way again.
I guess it's a blessing she's not being spun in circles before being let go... there are people who do that. Give you exactly the wrong advice or info for the express purpose of watching it get you sooner or later.
I haven't seen that out of anybody yet, but what I have seen isn't far from that, in a way.
Anyway...
I hope my latent (and last, I think) anger about a coupla things didn't override my intent.
And, if it did, at least I asked first... sorta.
Bless you, Darlin'!
I do hope that post comes across correctly.
That the feeling it leaves one with is hope or an extended hand... not fist.
I've been getting increasingly more frustrated at her whole situation for a while now.
I've been sitting on it, mostly... just venting to Paul now and again when the pressure to wanna scream builds up too much.
I mean, for Pete's sake, she deserves better support than she's been getting, ya know?
Not many people in less than stellar circumstances want help (Mr. Smith).
And, when someone rejects offers of help, you just set that part aside and just go on loving them anyway.
You don't keep harping on them about it.
If you do, you're not only gonna turn 'em off even more to the idea of help, you'll also drive them away from you.
With Rob, it was clear that he was not a man asking for help.
That's why, other than telling him to just hang on, Quinton will be back someday, I just kept any other "advice" to myself and, for the most part, turned my attention on those who sought to actively HURT him.
When he displayed his self-destructive behavior, I just let him be. I knew to try to "help" him would only make him do whatever he was doing even more.
It would have only made him that much angrier, that much more determined and it woulda made him not like me very much.
He knew what he was doing to himself and he knew what he needed to do to stop. He didn't need me bugging him about it and, to me, it wasn't worth risking his friendship just to nag at him, ya know?
This other situation isn't like that.
She IS trying to get better, she does listen when offered help... even if it's not really helpful.
That's the part I don't understand the most... if those guys really care about her, why don't they try to really help her grow and learn different ways of seeing things, give her different perspectives, maybe give her the benefit of their experiences and at least caution her about some things?
I've yet to see anybody ever say, "Hey.. ya know what? This doesn't sound good at all. You need to back out of that deal and not let youself be sucked in, lest it turn around and bite you on the ass. Again." (and, I'm kinda generally thinking about that one lady she took care of that has that other "A" woman involved. That whole deal seems destined to cost her in the end...).
They don't say, "Why don'tcha try this, instead?"
They always just say, "Hooray for you, to hell with them" in one manner or another, which is SO not a healthy way to be really, and on soooo many levels.
Somebody needs to care enough to quit patting her on the back long enough to take her face in their hands, look her right in the eye and say, "Stop now. No more of that. Let's do this, or try thinking this way about it instead, okay?"
It's amazing to me, the similarities between this and the endgame in Rob's comments that day back in June.
The parallels are striking, though the circumstances aren't as dire this time, thank God.
Still, the word "enabler" keeps floating across my mind, as does her "in yer face" method of getting through to him.
Noble idea, utterly horrific execution.
What she was REALLY trying to do for Rob is what I'm offering her, now... just not as intensely.
She's trying so hard, in some ways...
Then, she'll turn around and trip over a dust mote and nobody ever tries to help her find a way around it, or even just moves it out of her way.
Just stand her up, make sure that blindfold is still in place and send her on her way again.
I guess it's a blessing she's not being spun in circles before being let go... there are people who do that. Give you exactly the wrong advice or info for the express purpose of watching it get you sooner or later.
I haven't seen that out of anybody yet, but what I have seen isn't far from that, in a way.
Anyway...
I hope my latent (and last, I think) anger about a coupla things didn't override my intent.
And, if it did, at least I asked first... sorta.
Posted by: Stevie at February 14, 2007 11:28 AM (+a/Qq)
4
Yes, it's damn nice to see her absolutely clubbed with her own bullshit.
But he's no hero. You go out with a girl in her early 30s who keeps hinting about commitment you know what's going on.
Fuck her.
Fuck him.
But he's no hero. You go out with a girl in her early 30s who keeps hinting about commitment you know what's going on.
Fuck her.
Fuck him.
Posted by: Mad William Flint at February 14, 2007 11:52 AM (g/0ur)
5
My Gawd... I don't think I've ever seen you pissed off before.
What's it been... three years?
And, if what I'm offering is any kind of "clubbing" (that word always makes me think of baby seals first, drinking in bars second), it's with a foam clue bat.
Also, she's MY age, not early thirties.
As for them hooking up... sins on both sides, there.
Both of them as much as willfully ignored what was patently obvious to everybody else.
(Him- not interested in anything more than a good time and her- wanting a commitment, to keep it simple...)
As for Rob's hero status with me... I take it it's safe for me to file that in with my love of Lennon, as far as you're concerned?
*raised eyebrow and sardonic grin*
"Hero" is a subjective and/or relative term, I'm thinking...
And, for me personally, yeah, he was.
And, as for that last bit... that verb, combined with those two, is what made the whole thing into such a mess in the first place, so let's not go there again, eh?
That said...
you okay?
(Seriously... I've never seen you lash out before.)
What's it been... three years?
And, if what I'm offering is any kind of "clubbing" (that word always makes me think of baby seals first, drinking in bars second), it's with a foam clue bat.
Also, she's MY age, not early thirties.
As for them hooking up... sins on both sides, there.
Both of them as much as willfully ignored what was patently obvious to everybody else.
(Him- not interested in anything more than a good time and her- wanting a commitment, to keep it simple...)
As for Rob's hero status with me... I take it it's safe for me to file that in with my love of Lennon, as far as you're concerned?
*raised eyebrow and sardonic grin*
"Hero" is a subjective and/or relative term, I'm thinking...
And, for me personally, yeah, he was.
And, as for that last bit... that verb, combined with those two, is what made the whole thing into such a mess in the first place, so let's not go there again, eh?
That said...
you okay?
(Seriously... I've never seen you lash out before.)
Posted by: Stevie at February 14, 2007 12:15 PM (Gcihr)
6
nah. I ain't pissed. Sweety if I was pissed, your coffee cup would spontaneously explode.
Wait... where did Rob come into the pic? Hold on. It looks like we're not even talking about the same thing. I'm just talkin' about the best of craig's list thingie.
/confused.
//loving the slashies even off of fark
Wait... where did Rob come into the pic? Hold on. It looks like we're not even talking about the same thing. I'm just talkin' about the best of craig's list thingie.
/confused.
//loving the slashies even off of fark
Posted by: Mad William Flint at February 15, 2007 09:13 AM (g/0ur)
7
Oh, Gawd... I am SUCH a 'tard...
See, (poor) Libby briefly mentioned the previous post (in fact, she mentioned ONE WORD of it. Can't get no "briefer" than that...) and I then "expanded" on that (as opposed to staying ON TOPIC, like you did) and then, when I saw your comment, I thought it was also about the previous post and... whoo boy.
*face now glowing red*
Now that I re-read it, I can see how it fits Vasectomy-boy and Ms. "Opps-I'm-preggers" Mantrap totally.
And, about these two (from CL)...
I'm still a hunnert percent in favor of the guy.
Seems to me, this chick was out farkin' a bunch of guys, probably to purposely get pregnant, then was just gonna stick the guy who had the best potential/financial future with the kid, because it is a FACT that you don't even have to be the natural father to get screwed for child support.
In fact, you can have PROOF that a kid isn't yours and STILL be made to pay.
(And, just by the way, I would really not recommend that too awful many men take this chance because being made to pay child support in spite of having had a vasectomy is probably nowhere near as inconceivable as it ought to be.)
Lending credibility to my theory about alla this is the fact that the father turned out to be a musician, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THEM.
In fact, I've always tended to gravitate toward the blue collar, musician, bohemian, off-beat, weird?, fucked up! types than yer white collar crowd.
(I've also always assumed that those button-down, straight-arrow guys would just be scared of me. Kinda like an Amish guy would be. *can see him throwing his pitchfork up in the air and running off, across hill and dale, screaming*)
Besides, guys with lifestyles like this guy seems to have usually make more money.
Plus, if a musician is making big money, that increases the likelihood that he's just gonna dump yer ass and go out on tour.
Musicians are lots more itinerant than dudes on Wall Street, generally speaking.
It appears to be quite obvious that this woman knew all of this and gave it some thought, added it to the ticking of her biological clock, and her ringless finger, and just made a decision, along with a few "plans" and went for it.
And, it's the cynic in me that just knows it was all about gettin' that money and not some overwhelming desire to have a child for her...
I've known for years about women who get pregnant by a guy on purpose because she wants to be married to him, or tied to him somehow, because she "loves" him.
But, the concept of going around, screwing whomever, then choosing the "best" guy out of the crowd to pin it on... man.
That blows my mind.
I only wish that every man made a victim of this kind of scam had the same slam-dunk, case CLOSED "out".
See, (poor) Libby briefly mentioned the previous post (in fact, she mentioned ONE WORD of it. Can't get no "briefer" than that...) and I then "expanded" on that (as opposed to staying ON TOPIC, like you did) and then, when I saw your comment, I thought it was also about the previous post and... whoo boy.
*face now glowing red*
Now that I re-read it, I can see how it fits Vasectomy-boy and Ms. "Opps-I'm-preggers" Mantrap totally.
And, about these two (from CL)...
I'm still a hunnert percent in favor of the guy.
Seems to me, this chick was out farkin' a bunch of guys, probably to purposely get pregnant, then was just gonna stick the guy who had the best potential/financial future with the kid, because it is a FACT that you don't even have to be the natural father to get screwed for child support.
In fact, you can have PROOF that a kid isn't yours and STILL be made to pay.
(And, just by the way, I would really not recommend that too awful many men take this chance because being made to pay child support in spite of having had a vasectomy is probably nowhere near as inconceivable as it ought to be.)
Lending credibility to my theory about alla this is the fact that the father turned out to be a musician, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THEM.
In fact, I've always tended to gravitate toward the blue collar, musician, bohemian, off-beat, weird?, fucked up! types than yer white collar crowd.
(I've also always assumed that those button-down, straight-arrow guys would just be scared of me. Kinda like an Amish guy would be. *can see him throwing his pitchfork up in the air and running off, across hill and dale, screaming*)
Besides, guys with lifestyles like this guy seems to have usually make more money.
Plus, if a musician is making big money, that increases the likelihood that he's just gonna dump yer ass and go out on tour.
Musicians are lots more itinerant than dudes on Wall Street, generally speaking.
It appears to be quite obvious that this woman knew all of this and gave it some thought, added it to the ticking of her biological clock, and her ringless finger, and just made a decision, along with a few "plans" and went for it.
And, it's the cynic in me that just knows it was all about gettin' that money and not some overwhelming desire to have a child for her...
I've known for years about women who get pregnant by a guy on purpose because she wants to be married to him, or tied to him somehow, because she "loves" him.
But, the concept of going around, screwing whomever, then choosing the "best" guy out of the crowd to pin it on... man.
That blows my mind.
I only wish that every man made a victim of this kind of scam had the same slam-dunk, case CLOSED "out".
Posted by: Stevie at February 15, 2007 10:06 AM (sNebv)
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