Y'okay. That's about enough of that now...

'Bout a half hour ago, I was in the midst of watering my hamster and *poof* everything electric in the house goes off.

Piiiiitch dark.

I happened to be standing by the table where my smokes and lighter were, so I groped around, found my lighter, and lit a candle.

Took the lit candle and found my big-assed spotlight.

Took the big-assed spotlight and found a flashlight that won't need to be recharged in 15 minutes, like said spotlight.

Took the flashlight and found a "George".

Took the "George" into the basement with me, lest there be any Confederate ghosties, psycho-sex-stalkers or run-of-the-mill other kindsa boogey-persons down there and reset the circuit breaker.

Alllllla the shit I had on came back on and about 15 minutes later, it did it again.

*exhales hard thru nostrils*

Gettin' kinda tired o'this shit now, HOUSE.
D'ya frickin' MIND?
(Well, I DO! CUT IT OUT!! Damn it.)

This time, George shut off a buncha lights and shit and... so far, so good.
*whips head around, glaring at lights, making sure I ain't lyin' and all but daring them to do it again*

*gives them a coupla more of those "Are you SURE you're done being an ass?" Mom-moments to make up their minds and possibly seal their fates*

Well, okay then.

*poof*

Just kidding....

The good news is, after having the living SHIT scared outta me the first time they went off (I hate that shit), I can safely say my heart is stronger than I give it credit for, 'cause if it didn't have an attack then in spite of how hard and fast it was beating, I may not be as doomed to "pull an Elvis" (die at the same age as my mother like he did) as I think.

The bad news is this "electric" crap ain't gonna make keeping up with the house, and especially the laundry, any easier.

That (the laundry) is fun enough with the dryer having the vapors to begin with.

Then, it'd be even more "fun enough" with "just" the hell the guys are now having to go through with the milking parlor, without this new 'lectrickle horse hockey happenin'.

The parlor... she's-a dyin'.
On her last bearing, as it were.

It's the oldest carousel parlor around here.
And, it's main bearing is fubar.
Therefore, it doesn't rotate properly and after about six revolutions, it has to be "unwound" by what was "man power" at first and has now progressed to becoming "skid steer" power, with a guy having to lay UNDER IT while they "unwind" it to keep the wires from being severed.

It's getting so bad now, the whole damned thing is beginning to tilt and the cows... they HATE it.
They're scared of it, really.
They don't feel safe with it tilting.
Can't say I blame them.
But, scared cows produce more poop than milk, so this ain't good on any level, no pun intended. ("tilting"/"level"?)

Now, the good news is that the Boss has found a guy who used to have a carousel parlor in Kentucky, I think, and he's getting all "barely used" replacement parts.

The bad news is, until they can get this shit disassembled, fixed and reassembled, they have to construct and use a makeshift, "portable" kinda, "parlor" to milk the cows out in the free stall barn.

Where it normally takes about two, two and half hours to milk the whole herd, it's now going to take AT LEAST six hours each time.

The icky part has been for the last coupla days that both Jr. and Sr. have had to spend time laying under the damned carousel to watch the wires, meaning they get fuller of shit and wetter than if they wrestled cows in the manure pit and lost.

The icky part is gonna be that cows, hating change with a passion greater than my own, are gonna be shittin' ever'where in the makeshift parlor, thus still having the guys covered head-to-toe, pretty much, til the parlor is rebuilt.

And, it IS gonna be "rebuilt", because, while it's down anyway, a bunch of improvements are gonna be made.

S'posed to take about a month.

Oughta be interesting to watch.
Ain't gonna be interesting to deal with... for ME, either.

I was told that the Boss said something about I'm gonna have to be doing the guy's wash 24/7 to keep 'em in clean, dry, and thus WARM, clothes during this time.

*siiiiigh*

Thanks, Bossman.
Got a coupla hundred CATS ya need me to take care of while yer at it?

'Caaaaaause, just like laundry, I don't HAVE enough CATS in the FIRST place, or anything.
Or a dryer suffering from sporadic syncope...
Or a house that's just started shuttin' down at random intervals...
Or a fuckin' NUTJOB from Joisey to keep a watch out for...

I need to be balls-to-the-wall with laundry.
Shuuuuuure, I do.
Why not, right?
Ain't like I got'ny thing else to do... like be driven insane by a bank.

For the record, given a choice, I'd take a tractor-trailer fulla cats over more laundry.
And, another one instead of the asshole from Jersey.
And yet another one instead of this "banking" shit.
And, what the hell... one more instead of the eletrical crap.

The dryer part, I can handle.
Everything else, I'd rather have a truckload of cats instead of.

Ya know...
if a cowboy's work is never done, I must be the rootin'-est, tootin'-est cowpoke north of the Rio Grande and east of the mighty Mississip.

*coupla seconds later*
Okay.
Now I need to go get the brain bleach to get the mental image of Yosemite Sam with boobage outta my head.

Peace

Posted by: Stevie at 05:32 AM

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