T-minus about 20 minutes and counting...
In about 20 minutes and for the next 48 hours, the TV in the living room will be "on duty" and off-limits.
Meaning, I'll be taping the "That Girl" marathon, every single episode of it, on TVLand.
(make it stooooop) I'm lookin' at Victor French in a PINK long john suit.
And, oh God killmenow, it's being narrated by a very young "Half-Pint", the sound of whose voice makes me wanna hurl.
And, those stupid Christmas songs they keep playing over the scenes...
Stop. It. Now. Oh, thank You, Lord...
A fuckin' Nordic Track commercial... Man...
There's another 15 minutes of this shit left to
The episode was something about Laura, that retard, trading her horse away for a goddamned stove.
I said, outloud in front of Mom (oops), "God, you are such a stupid, buck-toothed bitch, Laura" when I realized what she'd done.
Mom whips out with both my first and middle names, sounding all shocked.
I looked at her and said, "Well, she IS stupid... (as if this is what she's shocked about) I'd NEVER trade Diablo away for anything."
She just told me to watch my mouth. Then, there was the time when she told me what those French words in that disco song.... gim'me a minute... see if I can remember the title... Lady Marmalade.
Yep.
That's it.
Anyway, she told me what the French meant and I said, "Oh! I'd always wondered what the hell that meant."
I was aboooout 14, I think.
Oops, again.
*giggle* I remember the first time I cussed in front of Dad, too. We were trying to get kittens outta the lilac and chysanthimum bushes behind the house in Mannington at night and I got poked in the eye by a branch.
I hollered, "Damn it!" and slapped my hand over my eye.
Dad only said my first name, and when I told him why I'd said it, he let it slide. Toldja's he was cool... (If this fuckin' Little House/Christmas carols being sung by opera assholes SHIT doesn't end soon, I am gonna hang myself, I swear...)
(It's as if it just has to get increasingly more annoying, the closer to the end it gets. I'm fully expecting to see Charles in tears before it's over.)
(IF I don't gouge out my eyes first...) *coupla minutes later* Okay, now they're just trying to piss me off, showing that fluffy white shit that I hate whose name shall never cross my lips deep enough that Charles had to go out the second floor window to get to the damned barn. Ew.
Now he and "Ma" are suckin' face and that goddamned "music" is gettin' louder... Oh, thank God.
It's going off.
I made it.
I didn't go into a sugar-induced coma. I swear to God, after I get "That Girl" going in here, I need to take "Full Metal Jacket" or "Helter Skelter" out to the kitchen and watch one or the other to get my mojo restored after that.
Might need a shower too.
I feel... shuddery, like when I see a pile of maggots. Fuck, I hate maggots.
*full body spasm*
gah Okay, anyway...
Gonna start my first tape.
Sometime in the next coupla hours, I'll be going to Wally-world and one of the reasons is to get more blank tapes.
Need to "do" the tree, the dishes, the cat boxes, the vacuuming and whatthehellever else needs doin'. Back some time... Peace
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