God, my body is weird...
Or, maybe it's my body's clock, whatever...
Fucked up, whatever it is.
First off, what was I doin' asleep?
Then, why do I hafta wake up and cough for a half hour, have a headache and feel like I was gettin' whacked by large men with axe handles?
What's that for? Gotta pee, gotta cough, the two don't mix well. Ever try "internalizing" a cough (much like when ya don't wanna lose the hit of "other" smoke) and running up a flight of stairs cross-legged at the same time?
It's fun, lem'me tell ya.
Add to that about a half dozen cats who simply MUST run up the stairs with me every. single. time. I go up there and the one cat who INSISTS on throwing herself down on her side and being "cute" in doorways and established paths, and it makes for some pretty intense shit sometimes. I don't need a headache and my body to be all crippled up, stupid couch... Plus, there's this huge mess in the middle of my living room, still. Whatever happened to those "faries" who used to show up while people were asleep and give 'em a hand, help 'em get caught up and shit like that?
What?
They get "unionized" and don't work anymore or something? And, as if I don't have enough to do, in about three minutes, I hafta start my daily morning ritual of being the alarm clock Sr. can't ignore. "DUDE."
"Hey."
"Hey! Dude! It's almost 4:30am..." (Him): "Muzwump, fragazzle, snerk." "Uh-huh. C'mon, now. Get up." (Him): "Cazzosheen frack." "Riiiight." Every day.
Every day I gotta go through this. Then, it's not unheard of for him to come down stairs and assault the shit out of a paper bag.
And cuss and pout and be all puffy-eyed and pissy. Ever see a kid doing something they don't wanna do and doing it all slingy and bitchy and snarly and you just KNOW they're thinking, "Fine. I'll do this thing you want me to do and WHEN I DIE FROM IT, you'll feel bad THEN, damn it..."?
Well, at 41 years of age, that's him. This is why, when asked if I have kids, I've taken to saying, "Well, I have a 41 year old at the house..." Speaking of whom, I have to go get him up now.
Again.
*sigh* Oh well.
At least my body has loosened up some and my headache got "caffeined" away. Now, if I could just "Jeannie-blink" this tree and house done...
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