My eye sight is goin' to hell...
Can't be glaucoma.
I'm already "preventive maintenence-ing" that and have been for years.
Or advancing age.
Or, in plain English... becoming a "*get the hell off my lawn" old fart.
(*FARK cliche alert) Or, in my personal case... a myopic old cat lady. Great.
*rolls defective eyes* All I know is, anymore, sitting here trying to read or type without Rob's cheaters is an excercise in eye strain and squinting til I'm blind.
Truth be told, I really oughta be using them when I read before I fall asleep, too. Do they make these things bi-focal, does anybody know?
Looking over the top of these glasses (because looking through them at a distance is worse), the TV is also blurry and the more tired my eyes get, the worse the blurriness gets. As it is, I keep them halfway down my nose and when I'm looking at the keyboard or monitor, my head is at a normal angle.
When I look at the TV, or anything else far away, I tilt my head down and look over the top of 'em.
This works fine, except when I do that backwards, 'cause then I can't see shit, near or far. Okay, so here's the deal... (What? You thought I was gonna do a post solely dedicated to my astigmatism? Puh-lease. What the hell have I ever stuck to one subject per post?) This is to be my motivation... my public declaration of intent so I have to follow through or look like a smacked ass. It's a list...
(I hear Mike giggling with glee...)
A list of the shit that needs to be done, that I haven't had the energy to get to lately due to expending all my energy becoming bloated (thank you, terrorist buddy... asshole) and then having to heft that shit around every goddamned place I went. I swear, when you get that way, it feels like you're wearing a fat suit.
If I really was as bulky as I felt, I'd look like Roseanne... at the beginning of her sitcom, too.
It's that... restrictive, stifling... annoying. And, I get worn out so much faster, too...
I hate that. But, it's glorious when it goes away. It's going away for me as I type.
I feel better than I have.
Lighter, less tired.
The swollen ankles and feet are receding like the tide again.
Left leg and foot faster than the right, whatever that may mean. Anyway... tonight's the night.
Gonna clean this frickin' house and everything in it. The list I wrote out by hand is just what I need to do without the gory details.
You, my loves, get the list with the gory details and explanations of just what certain of these "chores" entails.
And, that's because I just love ya's all so much and there might be, probably will be... had better be some humor in it (or I shall hurt myself severely) and I'm all about making y'all (and myself) laugh. So, without further ado, incoherent ramblin', excessive explanations, elaborate lead-ins... huh, what?... oh, sorry... THE LIST Living room first, 'cause it's the easiest... and a little "sidenote" before I even start (also known as "a tangent")...
Normally, when I have a buncha shit to do, I do the hardest shit first to get it done and outta my face. When I clean the house, I do the opposite. I'll do the easiest room first and work my way to the worst one. That way, if I get tired or sick of fuckin' around with it all or whatever, I can go into a finished room and get inspired again.
I sit in the clean room and give myself a pep talk and it usually works.
So anyway... easy room first... Living room
Sweep (broom), vacuum, then mop floor Bathroom
Is it any wonder I wanna do this shit when nobody else is around?
No sense in having anybody around.
Not like I'd get HELP with any of it.
*sam elliot look* It's just easier to do without extra bodies in the way.
Not to mention, some of the things I have to do and the way I have to do 'em could be... complicated. Maybe even work out badly and be embarassing. Who knows?
I don't need an audience or any witnesses. But, I do need to involve you guys (also while most of you are probably asleep, that way by the time you get up and read this a lot of this shit will have been striken off the list. Clever, ain't I? *grin*) so I'll actually DO IT. So.
Off to clean.
Kill me now?
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