702-818-2458

I don't know who the FUCK these "people" are, but, I do declare, with GAWD!!! as my witness, that if ANY of their moronic minions EVER calls my cell number again, I will go to Las Vegas, Nevada, FIND THEM and KICK SOME ASS!!!

I swear to Sweet Jeezus....
Not only do I have no idea who these numbfucks are, I have no idea how they got my number and they are soooo stupid that they leave two or three voicemails a day that consist of nothing except them saying "hello, hello, hello" and sometimes even copping an attitude after the 15th or 20th "hello" because, apparently, they're too fuckin' BRAINLESS to understand the concept of voicemail as opposed to a live person..

This is fun.
*sam elliot look*
NOT.

Just to see who the hell it is, I called the number back yesterday.
The dumb bitch who (barely) answered the phone was not at all helpful with that.
She acted like me knowing who the fuck keeps calling me is privledged information.
She finally said something about grant searches.
I then explained how utterly uninterested I am in "grant searches" and told her to cut it out.
She seemed highly confused, so I repeated "Stop. Calling. Me. DAMN IT!"

So, I get up today and there's another two "hellohellohellohellohello" messages on my muthafuckin' voicemail....

*Donald Duck "pissed off and on crack"-type response to this repetitious retardation ensues for the next several minutes*

After I quit cussin' and had toweled the spittle off of everything in a two foot radius, I called them again.

This time, I asked to speak to a supervisor.
The little pissant who answered insisted that he might be able to help me before he'd connect me to a supervisor, so I thought to myself, "Okay, asshole... I tried to spare ya..." and, in my best Perry-Cox-reaming-an-intern manner (which is pretty damned impressive even if I do say so myself... I love that guy and getting his verbal mannerisms down is a labor of love... and fun to use), I told little Habeeb that I have no idea who they are, how they got my number or even got JOBS, because it seems that the people at his end of this phone number were all but criminally stupid because they keep leaving voice mails comprised of nothing but "hello" 2,974 times and I want it to STOP. I want them told to NEVER EVER CALL ME AGAIN. EVER!

I waited, not even breathing hard after alla that, for his response.

After several long seconds of silence, he said he'd go on and hook me up with a supervisor.

"Yeah. I thought ya might. Thanks."

So, this woman comes on and says that she's a supervisor and asks how she can help me.

So, I tell her, "Well, you can help me by taking my cell number off of whatever Master List From HELL it's on and making sure the people at your end of the phone are all aware that they are NEVER to call my number again upon pain of DEATH if they do and the reason I asked for a supervisor is that I not only have no interest WHATsoever in whatthehellever they're selling, I have even LESS interest in trying to work this out with any of the OBVIOUSLY moronic shitstains dumbasses who call out from the number I just called and that you're now talking from and I say "obviously moronic" because, so far, all their voicemails have consisted of NOTHING but them saying "hello" repeatedly to THEMSELVES because apparently they're all too stupid to be able to tell the difference between a recorded message and a PERSON. Make. it. STOP. NOW."

Now, during this... tirade, if ya wanna call a spade a spade, I kept hearing little snippets of words... "We...", "ok...", "You...", "ick...", "gick...", "gack...", "but...", "I..."

Give it up, bitch, I ain't stoppin' til I'm CERTAIN you've gotten my point.

Once I did finally get Perry vented enough to be satisfying, I again waited with bated breath for her response.

Once she got done towelling the spittle off the entire side of her head and draining her ear of it (and giggling, I swear, over my refusal to become engaged in a battle of wits with such obviously unarmed people as the ones manning her phone lines), she assured me six ways from Sunday that I'll never be bothered by them again.

Yeah.
Right.
Well, I HOPE I won't be.

'Caaaause, the next time I see that stupid number come up on my cell phone, I WILL answer it and I WILL NOT be held responsible for my actions.

And, this is the LAST time I'm being "nice" about this.

Fuckin' PINHEADS.

The best part of waking up is supposed to be Folger's in yer cup, not chucklefucks in yer voicemail, am I right?

Well, alrighty, then... God bless Perry Cox and my gift of mimicry.
And, g'head, ya fucksticks.
Call me again.
I dare ya's.

*deeeep breath*
Okay.
Off to go make the "toll house with walnuts" this time.
(I made the "regular" toll house first thing this morning. Then, I went back to sleep for a while. Then I woke up and came back down here and found those messages and just sat here and did alla this shit.)
*rolls eyes*

God, gim'me strength.
Ya know?

Posted by: Stevie at 01:46 PM

Comments

1 My Public Service Announcement:
Apparently cell numbers were going to be given to solicitors Nov 15th. Here is the National Do-Not-Call number to opt out- 888-382-1222- you have to call from the (cell)phone you don't want to recieve calls on. It blocks unwanted calls for 5 years. As an additional note, to "opt out" for credit card solicitation call 888-567-8688.

Posted by: kenna at November 23, 2006 01:58 AM (LTMI7)

2 it sounded like there was a party going on....on the other end....so we told them we weren't home and we weren't coming back.

Posted by: wanda at November 24, 2006 09:16 PM (fOKsG)

3 I just got a call from this number today, who are they? They left 3 missed calls on my cell. If they are telemarketers then they deserve to be shot, because it shouldn't be legal for fuckers to burn up your minutes because they want to sell something. I'd like to do something about this but in our "great" country the little guy has no power...

Posted by: Roy at November 28, 2006 05:17 PM (E2nKQ)

4 you think thats bad i tell them i want them not to call me again an there like ok we'll call you later an then hang up an call right back an make weird scratching noise's in the phone an crap like that. i got half a mind to sue there company for harrasment there calling my house at 9:11pm come on now thats alil late to be calling people to offer them shit they dont want in the first place.

Posted by: Keith at November 28, 2006 09:12 PM (HhSZC)

5 payback time i looked up there number its registerd to nextel. i'm currently on the phone with them about there lil problem. an how it needs to stop i explaind to the rep that i did a revers look up on the cell number an came back with there company as being the provider he's put me on hold an i'm waiting to see the out come. i'll let you all know what's what

Posted by: Keith at November 28, 2006 09:26 PM (HhSZC)

6 if you want it to stop you have to call partners 1-888-539-2400 its a company part of nextel. like a sister company they refuse to give out any info about the person. an said that you'd have to tell them not to call anymore but thats like talken to a brick wall i'm going to get ahold of my local law enforcement to see if theres something they can do to put an end to it. i advise you all to do the same.

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