Okay...I got it...
Thank you soooo much, you guys! I really needed the input and there it is...you all are so sweet to take the time to answer. It DID help, it DID make clear what I thought to be true...that I CAN (as in I am too 'allowed' if I want to) see it as us doing pretty damned good for what we have to work with and anybody who looks down their nose at us or me for that is worse off than I'll ever be.
Now...if I could just somehow get George to pay attention to court notices BEFORE he's compelled to have face-to-face conversations 'with a judge in the morning' by huge, uniformed, armed people and could manage to somehow convince Eric that constantly interrupting me and talking over me makes me feel like he doesn't care what I'm saying one bit, as if I'm the ex, or something. We joke about me sounding to him like Charlie Brown's teacher when I say anything, but I think it's really true.And, no, I don't think everything I say is some golden nugget of wisdom or anything, it's just to be so 'dismissed', especially by him, hurts. Even moreso when he does it in front of other people. Like I count even less than they do to him, or something. I dunno. I do it too, but only when I'm pretty damn sure I know where yer going and then, only to make it easier for the person trying to explain shit. I don't do it to drive home a tired, old, worn out, untrue bit of non-humor...which the point of each time is erroneously that I really, secretly think Eric sucks, is ugly, is stupid and I'm gonna hate him no matter how he does anything.
I've NEVER said anything remotely like that to him.
She did, though.
It's just that I wish with all my bruised up heart he could tell the damned difference between me and IT by now....ya know? However...not everything sucks like a ShopVac. Lamar had another kitten sometime earlier today.
That makes three and I'm certain she's done now. I was wondering after the first two. I palpated her and thought I felt one more in there. She did this the last time too. Goofball.
But, the baby is fine. This one is also white but with black, dark black, not gray spots and more of a Holstein pattern than Appaloosa.
And, yes...PICTURES!!! I will, even before life gives me a friggin' break...unless of course, y'all WANT to see pictures of the kittens college graduations...I don't know... I'm gonna go read some blogs for a while. Then, I'll either post some more stuff, go to bed, or whatever. I really don't know yet.
My nerves are so fried, I'm not sure what to do about anything, really, but...Many thanks to all of you, at least I didn't lose any ground to that snot at the clinic. She tried, but all she managed to do was bend me back, not take steps back and y'all have got me upright again, so thank you again.
I hope God blesses every single one of you 10 times more than he has me.
(Or ever does....every single time.) *Hugs*
&
Peace
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