At the risk of sounding like a retard....

(like I haven't done that before...)

Can somebody please give me a dumbed-down version of the Civil War (an oxymoron if I've ever heard one) that takes less time than did the battle itself?

All I know (thank you pubic school education) is that it was fought around here and we lost.

I'm aware that Lincoln was involved.
I know that his "Gettysburg Address" was writtten on a piece of scrap paper or a bag or something unusual.
I know the first half-dozen, or so, words of it.

I have tried looking this mess up online.
Gah... too much one-sidedness for me.
I have neither the patience with assholes, nor the huge bank account to pay to do the tourist trap shit uptown.

What I wanna know is... did any of it happen outside of Gettysburg?
Say, to the northeast of town?

And, I wanna know if Sam Elliot was a good guy (Confederate) in the movie or was he a dick Union?

Eric just bought that movie last night.
(And, I swear, it's gonna take him longer to get to see the whole thing in one sitting than it did to lose the battle in the first place... *giggle*
He started it last night and fell asleep before the first side (of the disc) ended and then, this morning, he tried it again and got started on the 2nd side, but had to go out to work before that was halfway done.)

What got me started on this was Eric's boss telling him that the movie wasn't filmed on the battlegrounds.
Like hell it wasn't.
I looked on IMDb and the few scenes I've seen, I recognize what I've driven past since we've been here.

Plus....
Add to that the fact that much of the film has been shot on the exact same locations where the actual battle had taken place 130 years earlier, and it is quickly obvious that "Gettysburg" is an indispensable piece of American History brought to life.

See?

It was too shot on the battlefields.

So... what was it really about?
'Cause, from what little I think I understand about it right now, Northerners are a buncha douchebags, basically.
Meddlin', trifilin' douchebags who needed to mind their own damned business.

My hand to God, I do not remember this being covered in History class in high school.
If it was, it wasn't covered in any meaningful way, in a way that made an impression.

What I did learn in high school that stuck was that my mom was a class one whackjob/whorebag, Salem High School "townies" were assholes, Woodstown High School rednecks were goofy fuckers and that life sucks, pretty much.
(I'm literally laughing out loud as I type this...)
But, it's true.
The bullshit I was trying to survive in my LIFE was overwhelming to the point that whatever they were teaching us was a waaaaay distant second in importance.

Sad, ain't it?
Sad but laughable, too.

My only feeble defense is that it wasn't my goddamned fault.
I didn't even get a chance to mess up that part of my own life by screwing around or being an ass.
That was being done left and right by too many others for me to need to add to it.

And, here I am, 25 years later, still paying the price...
Living in Gettysburg not even knowing what the hell the deal was with the Civil War... pathetic.

I don't get math, either.
But, that I don't care about enough to even ask.
Fuck math.
Stupid, illogical horseshit.

Anyway...
I have questions about that war.
Not the same kind of questions I have about Nam, which piss me off and make me want to hurt people, just general kinda questions, foremost of which is:
What was the frickin' point?
Slavery?
Money?
Control?
What.

And, was any of it carried out north and east of town?

(And, was Sam Elliot a good guy or a Northerner in the movie?)

And, please don't suggest that I just watch the movie and learn, because I don't know enough about it to even know what the hell I'm looking at yet.

All I know is: We lost.
And, that what happened here was instrumental in that loss.

Things I'd like to know include, but are not limited to:

Why?
Who started it?
What was the REAL point?
And, if it was about what I think it was about, are the damned stupid Yankees happy with the way things are today?

And, is it me, or is there a centuries-long pattern emerging here of the people of this country, even WITHIN this country, not being able to mind their own buisness?
And, paying extrordinarily high and unnecessary prices for not being able to do so?
(For instance, I wondered outloud the other day why this country is so friggin' concerned with what goes on halfway around the world when there are homeless, hungry and health-insurance-less people right here who need "our help" more than some other country who doesn't even want it in the first place.)

But, first... the Civil War.
We can cover this country's inability to get it's own shit in one sock before worrying about other countries shit later.

Okay.
I'm gonna shut up now and letchas answer and thank you to whomever takes on this task.
(Which, by the way, I feel, not think-FEEL, is gonna be BlogDog, primarily, though everybody is more'n welcome to add their thoughts...)

Posted by: Stevie at 02:05 PM

Comments

1 Gosh, where to start??? and quickly finish....in a proverbial nutshell, the South was not fighting to primarily maintain a way of life that included and supported slavery as was commonly believed, but more to defend "States Rights"...the ability of each Southern state to define and carry out it's own preconceived destiny...basically, "leave us the hell alone to determine our own futures" you big Northern Industrialist power....most Northern troops were swept up in a grand vision of the "Glory" of warfare and took up arms to chase a grand vision of fighting for a "just" cause side by side with their buddies...a vision that soon got smacked squarely in the face after the First Manassas (1st Battle of Bull Run) where dignitaries and fine ladies and gents rode out from DC to take in the sight of a glorious theatrical conflict...they soon became part of and were trampled by retreating soldiers and saw first hand what real death and carnage looked like...
Gettysburg happened much later in the war and started out almost by accident as troops went foraging into town to find shoes....the pivotal end of three days of brutal fighting was Picketts Charge, where Robert E. Lee ordered a sweeping, sublime and mortal charge from a wooded tree line into a horrible killing field of destiny...this was the final conflict that tolled the end of any possible victory for the Confederacy....Lee regretted to his dying day his decision to order thousands of men across open fields into a meat grinder of Union cannon and musket fire, only a handful made it across and some were even pulled into the Union ranks out of pity and taken prisoner...a lot took place around the town as well....Jeb Stuart (the Steve McQueen of his day and a bad ass Southern Calvary leader) rode north/east to Hanover (Custer of Last Stand Fame made a famous horse leap over a huge chasm in the fighting around Hanover)...Stuart then rode around to my favorite ex-hometown of Dillsburg to raid for supplies...the people of Dillsburg ran up a huge flag on South Mountain that distracted the raiders long enough so that the townsfolk could hide their valuables and grain...Stuart then rode on to Chambersburg and held the town for ransom....unfortunately, his boss Lee needed Stuart back in Gettysburg, and had Stuart not been away raiding the countryside, Gettysburg may have turned out differently...sorry, my "nutshell's" getting way to big (had a little too much Virginia whiskey tonight out by the campfire...not far from old Richmond)....back to nutshell...Northern Boys fighting for a grand vision most did not understand...fueled by the quest for Glory and Manly Honor and Friendship...Southern Boys fighting for the Right of Self Determination...basically the same as all wars...young men killing young men being led like lambs to the slaughter by old men...Industrialist North against Agricultural South... Sorry to disappoint but Sam Elliott played John Buford...a Union Calvary leader...one bad ass guy like Jeb Stuart(rumor had it he rode an Appaloosa) (his cousin was a Confederate Calvaryman.......a lot of the movie was filmed very near/almost on the battlefield at an Adams County Farm....sorry to ramble on so...hope this helps...

Posted by: vizsladog3 at October 14, 2006 10:38 PM (4qWsH)

2 Hi Again, forgot to answer the question...who started it : First shots fired Fort Sumter SC near Charleston by Southerners:

Edmund Ruffin (January 5, 1794 – June 15, 1865) was a farmer from Virginia, a Confederate soldier, and an 1850s political activist. He ardently supported of states' rights and secession and was described by opponents as one of the fire-eaters. Ruffin was born in Prince George County, Virginia. He was also a descendant of William Randolph, the progenitor of the Randolph family.

As the sectional hostilities which led to the American Civil War grew in the 1850s, Ruffin left Virginia for South Carolina. According to apocryphal legend, he was given the privilege of firing the first shot against Fort Sumter on April 12, 1861 at the outset of the American Civil War.
Wierd thing is he's buried about 4 miles up the road from where I live now....

Posted by: vizsladog3 at October 14, 2006 11:00 PM (4qWsH)

3 http://gburginfo.brinkster.net/gettymap1.htm

This might help answer one of your questions!

Posted by: Deb at October 15, 2006 07:07 AM (6BsxH)

4 Please, please get Ken Burn's series, The Civil War. It's 9 tapes long, but sooooo worth watching. If you don't cry at certain points, especially the end, you have no heart! Trust me, you'll love it. I'm a history teacher and showed it to my students every year, and even they loved it.

Posted by: Barbara at October 15, 2006 07:41 AM (5IPS7)

5 Sorry to be a "detail dork" too much whiskey last night confused my timeline....the dashing Confederate calvaryman Jeb Stuart actually did arrive in time for some fighting at Gettysburg (late on the 2nd day after sweeping through Dillsburg...his raid on Chambersburg was actually a year earlier) but still too late perhaps to have helped Lee gain the advantage...I agree with Barbara, get or borrow the Ken Burns series....it's great....poetic, moving!!!!

Posted by: vizsladog3 at October 15, 2006 08:08 AM (4qWsH)

6 Wow, Viz, thanks...
That wasn't overly long at all. (Though, I know it looks like it is in a comment box or if you're the one typing it all... *smile*)

That was very interesting. Makes me wanna find out more.

Hanover, Dillsburg, Chambersburg... they had to have been where I live, too, then.
(And, this house I live in was here then, too... Yep. It's that old.)

And, it was, basically, what I thought it was... Northern bully-bastards trying to force the South to give up their rights.

...Industrialist North against Agricultural South...

Why...what was the North's problem with the South wanting to be left alone? Why couldn't the North just do that... leave 'em alone? What would it have cost the North? What was so bad about that?
(Maybe who I mean this time by "North" are the old farts who sent the young ones in to die...) What was whoever made that dumb decisions motivation? What did they hope to accomplish? Or, not lose?
(That's probably the same question asked 15 different ways... *grin*)

And, that Southerner, Edmund Ruffin, musta been shootin' at a Northerner, right? So, I can safely stay in my "They started it, the bastards..." mindset?
*crosses fingers that Ruffin wasn't trashed or something and shooting at the wrong people*

And, personally, I'm glad it wasn't all about slavery. Makes it easier to continue to vilify the North.
(Not that I would have switched sides anyway...)

I'm not "for" slavery. I try really hard not be racist. (Even though it sometimes seems like some people try to MAKE a person feel like that... JOSE, for instance... *rolls eyes*)

Sidenote- To me, it's not about what color a person is, it's about what an asshole the person is, white or black or purple or plaid.
I don't like assholes, period.
And, as for that "n" word... that particular word, to me, has less to do with a skin color than it does a mindset.
In fact, by my definition of that word, I know more white ones of those than not white.
It has to do with lying, cheating, being a lazy shit who thinks the world owes 'em, wanting what you have but not being willing to earn it themselves, just wanting to take it from you... that kinda shit.

Anyway... back to the Civil War....

Basically then, the reason we lost at Gettysburg is because of a Southerner... sumbitch.

That's hard to take.

But, it fuckin' figures, doesn't it?
I have more "Southern" in me than I realized, what with bein' my own worst enemy most of the time...

I kinda always got that Lee never had a chance at Gettysburg, but I didn't know it was because of Stuart.
Anything ever happen to Stuart because of that?
Is he less revered today because of it?
Anybody smack him upside the head back then?

Poor General Lee... Christ sakes.
Fighting blind....
Damn.

Well, I'll tell ya what...
If you start thinking about the Civil War, then keep thinking about the shit the stupid government keeps dragging us into these days, you can see the truth in the saying "Those who do not remember the past (or learn from it) are condemned to repeat it."

Posted by: Stevie at October 15, 2006 10:05 AM (aZ1FY)

7 Wow... whole bunch more comments popped up while I was writing my own... (woulda gotten it posted sooner, but I wound up having a DirectConnect conversation with a member of the Coast Guard who had some pretty interesting observations, not only about the Civil War, but about the state of affiars these days and what may be getting done about that...)

Thank you, you guys...

And, I'm going now to Amazon to see about the Ken Burns tapes.

And, yeah... I do feel bad for both sides, especially the part about brothers fighting against brothers, but...
My heart and loyalty will always be to the South.

Until I learn a compelling reason why the North had any right to try to tell the South how to live, the South has my everything (heart, soul, mind, being) to count as their own.
Not to mention, the North "won", which has led to where we are today, which mostly sucks, sooo.... ya know?
I can't help but wonder how things would be different today, better or worse?, if the South had won.
Which is just like wondering where we'd be today had Kennedy not been murdered... mostly an excercise in futility.

And, I just answered a knock at my door and it was a neighbor who said "Oh, hell yeah, they were here, too... " In fact, he and a friend of his found a cannon ball when they were digging the friend's septic tank hole. And, that was one road away.

Man, I'd like to know what, if anything, this house was involved in...

And, for the record, I'm not scared of seeing spirits who may still be around, but, honestly, I'd welcome only Confederate spirits.
If I knew there were any here, Confederate, that'd be fine.
Union would have to go... be REMOVED, if necessary, by whatever means necessary.

(Which, if there were spirits in this house, would explain a LOT of that "wasn't me" shit I hear around here about open doors and things not being where I left 'em or where they belong.... *grin*)

Posted by: Stevie at October 15, 2006 10:34 AM (aZ1FY)

8 Some more really good things to watch are: Warriors of Honor - It's an amazing documentary about Gens. Robert E. Lee and Thomas "Stonewall" jackson. Gods and Generals - A hollywood film, but one that accurately portrays the South and the Cause. If you truly are interested in the Confederacy, please check out the Sons of Confederate Veterans and/ or The United Daughters of the Confederacy. Deo Vindice.

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