Just Darn!

Darn, darn, darn! (Why do I hear Herman Munster's voice as I type that?) Even though I was aiming for the exact opposite, I managed to rile Dax. (I did that link without having to write down or look at his URL, though....)

So, now I want to explain my philosophy on hunting. Bear with me. (Was that a pun?)

I've spent my life around horses. One of the first things I figured out was the difference between 'cowboys' and 'horsemen' these days. Whether you're a cowboy or a horseman basically boils down to one question. That 2 year old over there...see him? When you start working with him, will you think of it as training him or breaking him? If you say 'breaking' him, you're a cowboy. If you're not really good at it, then you're just a hotdog on a horse. If your natural inclination is to think of it as training, and do it that way, you're a horseman. Every good cowboy has 'horseman' in him. Somewhere. It's what keeps him from being a hack. And, keeps the horse from ending up neurotic.
Hotdogs, on the other hand, just know brute strength, intimidation and fear. Never respect. They are assholes.

By the same token, there are hunters, then there are assholes with access to a weapon. They are vastly different creatures. Hunters follow the rules. I'm not saying they're perfect and never do anything...out of the ordinary, it's just that they usually have a good reason. Hunters aren't out there just to blow the shit out of some animal. Usually they're doing it to put meat in the freezer. Hunters will track a deer to the bitter end and they make sure to try to kill with the first shot.
Hunters hunt, for the most part, during the day. They don't discharge firearms in your backyard. They don't kill more animals of whatever season than they can even count. And, they certainly do not cut off the hams and horns, or even worse-just the horns-and leave rotting carcasses all over God's created earth.

Assholes with access to a weapon make their own rules. They kill what they want, when they want and for any reason they see fit. "Hey, let's see if we can blow up a rabbit with this here grenade launcher." You know the type. A.W.A.T.A.W.'s kill animals just for the fun of it. I think it's some kinda 'compensation' thing, myself. "Hmmm. I have no brains, no dick and no life. I must murder some small animal out of season, preferably right in my neighbors yard." Dickweeds. These idiots also go out at night with a spotlight, freeze a deer with it and shoot them. I do believe that's ILLEGAL. These assholes also think it's a fine idea to kill way more hapless critters per season than they're supposed to. And, track a wounded animal? Feh. Too much like effort. And, I cannot tell you the number of poached deer I have found while riding my horse through the woods in the spring and summer back in Salem County. Don't even get me started on killing doe's out of season. (I know "doe's" isn't possessive, but if I hadn't used the apostrophy, it would have looked like does.)

Around here, on this farm, I don't encounter poached deer, thank God, but we do have morons who show up here and kill pigeons constantly. Right in the got-damn driveway. I could throw a rock, and often want to, and hit them. Hard. They either don't know or don't care about the fact that they are not only being obnoxious and totally disruptive, but they could get Eric kicked half to death when they try doing this shit while he's milking. I mean, cows just looove loud, unexpected noises. Bill, the idiot, allows this. Instead of putting a fuckin' roof on the stupid silo to keep the pigeons out, he has an open frickin' buffet for them, then drives everybody (except the other idiot in the back there who uses a shotgun as a means of communication with his daughter) bugshit. It's just stupid. And, after about the 200th shot, I start getting sick of the noise and pissed at the idiocy. Then, usually, I start getting mouthy. I actually said to one of these boneheads "Yo! I've got a parakeet in a cage in the house, if ya get tired of missing the pigeons" Schmuck. He took the hint and moved. One asshole actually shot a pigeon down in flight right in my driveway, fer Christ sake. Fuckin' bird almost landed on my head. I'm pretty sure the look I gave that one expressed my feelings very well. He went home. I hate every one of 'em. This farm is comprised of hundreds of acres. Why must they do this shit right beyond the edge of this lawn? Besides, I own quite a few of the animals around here that aren't cows. God help the fuckwit who shoots one of them. Accident or not, he'll soon figure out he should just kill himself. It'll be easier for him.

Oh, shit. I just remembered, I'd better point out that I am not talking about those dove shoots people go to. I chose to ignore the fact that they happen and besides, they don't hold these shoots in my yard. I admit, I don't exactly understand this phenomenon, but I know it happens. Fuck it, though. I can't care about everything. Gotta draw a line somewhere, ya know?

Where I'd like to draw the line for killing game animals is just this side of 'correctly'. I wish there was some easy way to rid the world of poachers and the other assorted asswits who drag hunting and hunters down and the fucktards who lump them all together. When I'm pissing and ragging about 'murdering animals', it's the asshole faction I'm referring to. Not Hunters. (Capital 'H' on purpose.)

Dax...we got plenty of good hunting here in Pa. I'd be more than happy to fix it so you can come hunt here, if ya want. Come at the right time, you can go on a hayride, too. And, walk through a corn maze, pick yourself out a pumpkin...all kinds of fun stuff. But, I'll show where the best deer stand is first.

Posted by: Stevie at 10:22 AM

Comments

Posted by: Geoffrey at September 19, 2003 12:57 PM (RggUF)

Posted by: Dax Montana at September 19, 2003 01:01 PM (krV0V)

Posted by: Ted at September 19, 2003 04:52 PM (2sKfR)

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