What is this, a test?
It's not enough, I guess, that I still don't feel 100% yet from being sick, not to mention being sick itself, right?
Plus, I'm living with the... threat of having two extra kids here again for multiple days. Then, today, I get up, after having baked oatmeal raisin cookies til 4am, and I come down for a cuppa coffee.George comes into the kitchen and tells me that Jon, the Liar Guy from back in Bucks, is here. Oh, fuck me dead. He didn't stay very long, thank God and I managed to hide in the bathroom til he left. Worst thing?
He now lives only about 40 miles from here. Again, kill me now, please. *bangs head on desk repeatedly* And, I hope whomever gave him the correct directions to get here gets a huge weinie pock. Like a chicken pox pock, only bigger. This dickwad exudes evil to any creature perceptive enough to pick up on it. I can't stand him.
My dog, April, would gladly rip his throat out. She HATES this guy.
And, Tyler, my totally housebroken, good-little-man Jack Russell peed on the living room carpet while that putz was here. Now, what does that tell you? E-ville. Plus, every word outta his mouth is most likely a lie, yet Eric and George can deal with him. Ugh... I can't, therefore, I don't. Hell, he's part of the reason I was pissed enough to tell Eric to call this Boss in the first place.
First, I had the two psychos, the brother/sister act, to deal with at work.
Then, I come home and here's this dickhead lying to me about horses every damned day after Storm died. Part of my motivation for leaving there was to get away from this fucknozzle and now... here he is again. I musta been Atilla the Hun in a previous life.
That would explain a lot... Anyway... I wasn't just "sitting there" while I was avoiding that a-hole.
I was also reading Lewis Grizzard and laughing my ass off.
(Thank God I was sitting down, hence my ass didn't actually go anywhere...) Did y'all know that in one of his books ("You Can't Put No Boogie-Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll", I think...), he has an entire article about Helen, Ga.? You know... where the blogmeets happened. It was about how Helen has an Alpine theme about it and Mickey D's wanted to build a restaurant there but wouldn't do it "Alpine", so Helen told Mickey D's to piss off. Pretty cool.
Wish I'd have mentioned that to Rob... Lewis also doesn't care for cats. Lewis is also gone entirely too soon. Ya know... there's a part of me that can't WAIT to get where these guys are... them, Morrison, Bon Scott, Stevie Ray, my friends... oughta be awesome. No matter which place is it. I don't care.
I just wanna go where they all are. And, as much as it sucks losing people like Rob, Lewis, Jim, et al., I am glad to have been alive while they were. So much good music, good TV (and M*A*S*H, All in the Family spring to mind), good books, excellent people... Coulda missed the pain, woulda had to miss this dance.... Lotsa pain there, too, but... I'm learning to live with it.
Finally.
Can't stop it.
Can't keep it from happening.
Can't even escape it for very long... even WITH weed.
But, I'm finally learning how to LIVE with it.
Like a permanant disease or something. Rob's doing that for me.
Quite well, too. I've gotten past a lot of pain in my life.
Maybe never got completely over it, 'cause it still hurts to think of some of the people I've lost.
But, I don't think I'm ever gonna get past this most recent hurt.
Gonna hafta learn to live with it. Without my primary teacher. Jeezus. Well, anyway.... I'm fine.
Not in physical pain right now.
Not crying.
Not upset or anything.
Just facing reality, which usually bites. And, yep. It sure does this time, too. Guess I oughta go find something to do. It's all rainy here, so outside shit is out.
Might go visit the hosses. They're in because of the rain...
I haven't seen Bo since I got sick and then they squirted alla that tar-shit on the sides of the road, thus effectively trapping the horses in the field til it "dries" (til this Ernesto-rain showed up) and precluding me from parking in the field next to the pasture lest I get sticky black tar-shit on my white car, ya know?
So, running to the Boss's barn might be cool. Or, I could soak in the tub again. Or, I could do both, if I don't fuck around too long. Whatever. I'll take it as it comes. As if we have any choice in that. Peace
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