Magical...

It seems to me to be perverse, almost, to be so utterly and completely happy to be here, considering the reason I'm here.

But, my God... I am that.
I've never been to a place that I've loved so quickly.

Coming to this magicial state of Georgia has felt more like "coming home" than I imagine even Heaven would feel like.

I've been a tiny part of and witnessed some things these last few days that have some of the most incredible, beautiful and inspiring things I've ever been involved in or seen.

Some of the scenery on the drive down shoulda been a hint, but, man... I was too tired to anything but be amazed at the stuff I got to see.

Mountains, mile deep valleys of the darkest green, a deer grazing within a pasture fence like a horse and not at all bothered by the traffic, endless open space, the hugest sky I've ever seen... simply amazing.

I made it down here JUST in time.

I stopped twice to rest.
The second time I stopped, I got the coolest surprise...

George's cell was ringing with a number I didn't recognize when I got back in the car.
It stopped, then rang again.
The third time it started to ring, I went ahead and answered it.

It was Dan, from Lobo Walk.

That was so cool....
We talked for about a half hour or so and as we hung up, I noticed my car's air was no longer blowing cold.
Then, I noticed the temp gauge and nearly shit.

It was red-lined.

I shut the air off, switched over to heat, turned the blower back on opened the windows and called George.

We decided that since the temp was coming back downly, slowly, as we talked, that I'd be okay driving down the road some and seeing if that helped it cool down.

It did.
Immensely.

I watched that temp guage step back to normal range within minutes, thank God.

I got here, to Catfish Manor, around 2:45, give or take a few.

We exchanged "Hellos" and talked for a few minutes, then I got cleaned up, changed and we took off.

We got there and the place was pretty full.

Nice "facility", no irony intended, it's just that it was a part of the funeral home, not a church, though there was a preacher/pastor.

He spoke for a bit, then said that if anyone wanted to speak of Rob, to come up and do so.
He said he'd be more than willing to sermonize for a while, but it was always nicer if other came up and spoke.

A man stood right up, walked up to the dias and said, "Well, I know Rob wouldn't want a buncha preachin', so I guess I'll tell a story or two."

Everybody laughed and it was warm, touching moment.

The man (I know I was told who he was and I'm sure someone who knows him will say his name somewhere, so forgive, please, but I can't remember it right now. 'Course it is 5:30 and I've been up since 9:30am (thanks, Eric Darlin'! *wink*) told several stories featuring Rob at his best and made us all laugh and feel good, in spite of the circumstances.

Another man (again, forgive me please) got up after him and again had us laughing and celebrating his life.

Then, a lady whose name I do know, Livey, got up.
I remember part of what she said...

"Rob was a man you love to hate and hated to love..."
She said a coupla more little things, then turned to Sam and Quentin and said, ..."but, your Daddy love you two the most..." and Quintin began to cry.
She hugged him on her way back to sit down, then sat there, between the kids and put her arms around them both.

Then, the preacher asked again if anyone wanted to speak, but... he continued to talk to soon for D3 to have finished convincing me to go for it.

I wanted to go up there and tell those people how Rob had saved my life and about how much he meant to so many of us here online and how loved he was, but the preacher kept talking and he did say, "If anyone wants to come up here a say a few words... etc." and as y'all are all too painfully aware, I ain't never said NUTTIN' in "a few" words, so...
I took care of it later on, throughout the day, more personally.

I did, however, ask the preacher one question that had been haunting me...
Did he think that God and Rob would forgive me for not having been able to return the favor he had done me?

He quickly and almost vehemently assured me that, oh yes, of course they both do...
Then, he explained, a tad less urgently, why he believe so.
Man, he made me feels soooo much better.
After that, I was able to relax and just absorb the experience for all that it was and continues to be.

After the service ended, I went up to the front to see the posterboard of photos of Rob.
Now, I know he was adorable and all, but holy shitfire, y'all... that little booger was drop-dead fuckin' GORGEOUS in high school.

He was also a stone fox in the 70's, to use a phrase from the era... long, dark hair, sexy moustache, bright, pain-free eyes... wow.

After I'd looked carefully at all the pictures, I glanced to the left and finally saw... Rob.
From where I'd been sitting in the back row with D3, Cat and Nancy (they were right in front of me), I hadn't been able to see clearly, plus I was so tired my eyeballs were in my pocket.

It was a pretty box.
Had his name and a guitar burned into the lid.

But, man, first thing that struck me was it was kinda small to contain the so very large-hearted, vastly spirited man I'd come to know.
Then, almost in the same thought, I knew that wasn't what was in there.
That those parts of him were free.
But, I still nearly lost... well, really I did for a minute, but, it was just too loving an environment to become lost in pain in.

I pulled it together and went outside to light a cigarette.

I started looking at the bloggers and putting pictures with faces and the first two I recognized were Key and Eric.

Key's pictures don't tell the whole story.
She is soooo pretty.
And, her soft voice with that accent...

She was one of the ones I enjoyed most hearing out and listening to.

And, Eric is every bit as cute and ornery lookin' as he is in his pictures.
I only got to talk to him for a few minutes, but he's as sweet and funny as he comes across in his writing.

Then, Velociman...
Knew him as soon as I got to see him.
Looking in his eyes was a powerful thing.
I knew he knew... me, what mattered most and I saw calm confidence.
So, I honored it by making it true.
Thank you, Velociman, for that.
Like Rob, I don't even think you knew you'd done that for me.

Upon being presented with a Fedora-less Ellison, I displayed the first sign of my most natural, God-given trait... airheadedness, as I guessed him to be Val first.

I heard, "Picture a Fedora..." from somewhere behind him, then I knew...
He is cuuute, y'all.
Such nice eyes...

I got to speak to Sam about saving Gut Rumbles and what Rob had done for me and then Nancy reminded me that I'd be able to talk to her back at the house, so I let the poor girl escape and retrieve Rob's box after it had been retrieved from a person repeatedly kissing it.

After we all hung out in the parking lot, we all went over to Rob's parent's house.

And, here is where I hafta end this for now.
It's 6:00 am and I am beat.

I have got to go lay down, my eyes are literally crossing.

I don't know if I'll have time to finish this post and give it the justice it so richly deserves before I go later today.

If not, know that I'll be going home sometime later today.
I'm not sure exactly what time yet because I can't pick any "good" time to leave people as sweet and warm and wonderful as Cat and Nancy.

I need to check the fluids in my car, meet Sam at the Crackbox again for a few (and btw, Rob's driveway isn't a dirt one. There are no stones, per say, but I have another idea involving Spanish moss and other things) and pack my shit and all that shit, but first, I need to sleep.

I'll finish this story as soon as I can, I promise.
However, on the way home, I'm not gonna be doin' 80+, like I did on the way down.
I don't wanna beat on Vic like that, ya know?

So, I'll be taking it a little easier, going a more sane speed, hence it may take me the full 12 hours or a bit more to get there.

Also, I have four disposable cameras with me and have been taking pictures of everything from Randall's, where Rob bought his ciagrettes, to his comouter, complete with boiled peanuts next to it, to the places he used to play guitar, down on Riverwalk.

So...
I'll be back as soon as I can, this place and these people are pure amgic and I feel almost better than you'd believe being here with them.

Night, y'all...

Posted by: Stevie at 05:12 AM

Comments

Posted by: Eric at July 01, 2006 07:29 AM (r5XsL)

Posted by: Dana at July 01, 2006 08:58 AM (mY0KN)

3 That is why we like you Stevie, you are NOT a woman of few words. LOL! Thank you for sharing the story of your trip so far. It does sound like a magical time.

Posted by: Maeve at July 01, 2006 09:16 AM (b/7xM)

Posted by: RedNeck at July 01, 2006 09:21 AM (tSJ8V)

Posted by: surfie at July 01, 2006 09:53 AM (Iuf+m)

Posted by: Libby at July 01, 2006 12:16 PM (DGO1F)

Posted by: pam at July 01, 2006 03:26 PM (l6NIn)

Posted by: Deb at July 01, 2006 05:02 PM (wocRc)

Posted by: Jane at July 01, 2006 06:59 PM (89yYW)

Posted by: Chablis at July 01, 2006 08:09 PM (tMoUV)

Posted by: Kel at July 02, 2006 04:43 AM (VSQpt)

Posted by: Key at July 06, 2006 12:43 PM (GUwA2)

Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.0069 seconds.
18 queries taking 0.004 seconds, 20 records returned.
Page size 16 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.