Rob's posts....
PART TWO!!!!
(Not sure why, but the last coupla posts and comments wouldn't "fit" in the other entry, and now I'm gonna re-arrange the times and shit to make this shit make sense...)
Then...
a care packageI sent off a care package to a loyal reader in Mesa, Arizona today. It contained five pounds of fresh green peanuts, in a plastic bag inside a shipping box, plus instructions on how to cook them. Best of all, while I was rummaging around looking for a shipping box, I found a leftover Gut Rumbles bumper sticker that I didn't know I had, so I put that in there, too. Maybe I should have included some salt. You can't boil peanuts without salt. I hope they get there safe and sound. I hope "Henry" likes them, too. Who knows? I may make another cultural breakthrough here. I introduced the game of Half-Rubber to Australia, so I may introduce the joys of boiled peanuts to Arizona, too. Tell me that I'M not a got-dam ambassador of good will. Henry, just don't let the illegal immigrants "foreign workers" get a taste of them. PLEASE! If THAT happens, even peanut farmers in Jawja will have to advertise "se hable espanol" or face EEOC suits filed against them for red-necked racism, wherein they lose their tractors and all their chewing tobacco in the name of "fairness." Don't make me responsible for THAT kind of "justice."
Posted by Acidman @ 05:37 PM TrackBack [0]
Comments
>I sent off a care package to a loyal reader in Mesa, >Arizona today Holy crap, there's TWO of us? Posted by: JohnW on June 19, 2006 06:13 PM
:'( this poor college student wishes he had peanuts..... Posted by: Peter on June 19, 2006 06:27 PM And, next you said... some people know me better than I do
WHO am I? I am "imploding," according to this guy. I'm also a "train wreck in slow-motion." I also am "...the worst kind of racist. The kind who is actually defiant about his racism." according to this guy. I am a "damn good lay, a fine guitar player and the best toe-sucker I ever met in my life!" according to her. I am a "one crazy bow leggs" according to him. I also am "Awww.... sweet..." according to her. I am a male-chavanist, racist, homophobic, no good, belly-crawling PIG according to certain ass-kissing faggots. I am not worth mentioning now, since I'm not in this guy's district anymore. But he once told me that I was a fine fellow when he wanted my vote. And he shot me with a GUN--- YES!!! AN ASSAULT WEAPON!!! At Savannah Beach during the annual Beach Bum parade a few years ago. He almost blew my got-dam flip-flops off, too, with his super-soaker. I am a an evil man with a sexy voice to her. And this one says that she could "break me like a twig." Hmmm... I might be willin' to GO for that, depending on the position you had in mind... I may also be guilty of libel, slander, ignoring the truth and making up quotes, just like the New York Times or CBS News, if anybody wants to fact-check this post very closely. But I'm not gonna let THAT shit stop me from saying what I want to say. It may be false, but it's accurate.
Posted by Acidman @ 05:58 PM TrackBack [0]
Comments
(No comments...) Then comes... doin' my research
I spent a lot of time today talking to people on the phone and emailing people all over the country in a quest for help on my income tax problem. You know what I found really weird? Not ONE SINGLE outfit in Savannah offers aid in dealing with IRS problems. SEVEN different firms do in Hilton Head, South Carolina. WTF is THAT about? The way I figure it is... Hilton Head has more filthy rich people per square inch than Savannah does (except for retired yankees on Skidway Island and THEIR attorneys probably operate out of Hilton Head.) and THAT'S where the REAL money is. Besides, if your problems are bad enough and you have the funds to pay, you'll be more than happy to make a trip 50 miles across the state line to Hilton Head to resolve them. At this point, that idea sounds pretty reasonable to me. The big, honking "you'll pay a dime on the dollar" firms you find on the internet ALL operate out of California. Yeah, THAT'S where you need to go to get "saved" from the IRS. That's fuckin' spooky. Just the very idea of dealing with a California lawyer sends piss down my pants-leg, but it makes sense if I stop and think about it. WHERE ELSE do so many people get into income tax problems through making a lot of money and not knowing how to pay the right amount of taxes on it? WHERE ELSE can you find so many dumbasses per square inch? Maybe I need to get into THAT line. My only real problem with that idea is... those fucking crooks may charge me as much for their "services" as the IRS wants to steal from me. I want to pay the minimum amount of money I can get away with to stay out of jail, and keep what is mine, but if push comes to shove, I would rather piss my hard-earned cash away to the IRS than give the same amount to a California lawyer. I'll admit that the choice is a lot like picking whether you want to die by firing squad or by hanging, but if I'm gonna die, I ain't gonna do it in California. Period. I've still got 28 days to decide what I'm gonna do. Doing NOTHING is NOT an option. But I don't have to jump on the first boat that comes floating by the dock. I would rather drown first. So, I'm asking for help here, from my loyal readers, at least ONE of whom must have stepped in this kind of bear-trap before. Please give the name of a good bunch to talk to--- some kind of honest bunch that ain't gonna screw me any worse than the IRS is wanting to do now. I would aprecciate that kind of advice so much that I'll send you green peanuts in the mail and NEVER try to seduce your wife. Or your daughter. Or your HUSBAND, if you're female. But I feel the ragged claws of desperation beginning to tear at my Cracker ass. I need some help. (UPDATE: Yeah, I'm worried about paying my taxes. I receive great comfort from learning that this is where they go. I sweardachrist. Costa Rica is looking better and better to me every got-dam day.)
Posted by Acidman @ 06:55 PM TrackBack [0]
Comments
whining about taxes ? man you have some nerve. whats next gasoline prices?
try to visit Europe and you go haywire. in case y need a shoulder to cry on to , y got me mail.
Posted by: Hemaworstje on June 19, 2006 07:42 PM
anyway , these guys know how to pay and live cheap , they know the rules.
join their forum and behave. http://homesteadingtoday.com/vb/index.php Posted by: Hemaworstje on June 19, 2006 08:04 PM And then... Well, shit.
It seems "An Opinion Poll" is gone forever.
Maybe I can find it elsewhere.
I'll look.
Meantime, if your comments truncate this comment, I'mina hang myself, I swear... *crosses fingers and clicks post* (Turns out that while his comments didn't truncate this massive missive, they did refuse them for QUESTIONABLE CONTENT?!!? Have a little irony. It's good for your blood...)
Comments
Processing 0.0, elapsed 0.0046 seconds.
16 queries taking 0.0034 seconds, 7 records returned.
Page size 9 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.