*disgusted sigh*

How often do ya suppose I use "I don't believe this shit" as a post title?
How many times have I done it this year so far, d'ya think?
I know I just used it the other day.
And, I coulda used it again now.

I'm unemployed again.

The fucked uppedest thing is that I have no concrete reason why.

What I got was a lot of profuse apologizing and a lot of what it wasn't (the reason, I mean) but not much about why, except that, good as I am, I'm not all that she needs there.

She said I'm "fantastic" in her barn.
Great with the care of the cats.
Really gooood with the dogs.

She said it's her, not me.
That she's probably gonna regret this.
That I can use her for a reference and that we "fit", have a lot in common, she loves me as a person, but...
That no-good, fuckin' "but".

That word which often follows an apology, sincere or not, and precedes horse hockey in staggering amounts, usually.

I really thought she was gonna cry.

I did, after I got home.

But, nobody here gave me any shit about it and George, whose wallet I'mina land on again, was really sweet about it.
I thought he was gonna hate me.
Nope.

See how cool he is?

In fact, they're still waiting for the materials for that roofing job, so I still have that, with him, coming up.

Still... what the fuck?
Why does this shit keep happening to me?

Not that I can't handle it... one way or another.
I'm just honestly curious... what the fuck, why me?
(And, yeah, I know that whole "why NOT you" shit, so... don't, okay? Thanks.)

I mean, it's not like I lost a "real", high-falutin' kinda job, I know that.
And, I only worked there a week.
But, I'm about to cry again, because... I'm really gonna miss the dogs.
And the cats.
And the horses.

The last two animal-related jobs that I've had and that I've loved, I've lost.

And, I ain't been "allowed" to know REALLY why.

I know what I've been told...
I was told I'd be back at the horse farm as soon as their money shit cleared up.
And, I was told "it's me, not you" (THEE worst break-up line EVER) this time.

Well, I ain't back at the horse farm.
Of course, I don't know what's up with their money shit, either.
And, this "not you, me" shit doesn't feel right to me, for some reason.

All I wanna do is pay off the horse and get my teeth fixed.
Less than three grand.
How fuckin' HARD does this hafta be, for fuck's sake?

Got-damned VERY, I guess.

Twenty-two hundred dollars.
I know people who make that in a friggin' week.
I also know people who BLOW more than that in a week.

Twenty-two hundred bucks would mean the WORLD to me.

I'm more than willing to work for it, too.
All I need is to be allowed to do so.

Anybody need a car waxed or anything?
Anybody wanna be a philanthropist for a minute?
Anybody else wonder how I keep gettin' flattened by the eight ball I can't even see on the table?
Cripe, man.

Oh great.
I've got Roseanne on in the background, here.
It's the episode where she needs a job after quitting Wellman's Plastics and she goes for this office job.
She gets hired, then it comes out before she leaves but after she's called and told Dan she got hired, that she can't run a computer.
Dan, thinking she got the job, gets all their friends together for a surprise party for her when she gets home and then, when she gets home, she hasta tell him she didn't get it, after all.

Crystal comes up to thank her for being the inspiration for her to quit Wellman's too and nearly starts to cry.
Roseanne gives her a hug and asks her if she's gonna be okay and she says, "Yeah. I'm fine. But, what's wrong with you that nobody will hire you?" and Roseanne shoves her back and give her this look...

Well, that's what I want to know, too.
But, it is nice to know I'm not the only one, ya know?

Well, I guess I oughta put the link to the local paper back in my toolbar.
Looks like I'm gonna be needin' it again.

Posted by: Stevie at 10:47 PM

Comments

1 Damn. Sorry to hear that, Stevie. And I know you probably SO don't wanna hear "when one door closes, another door opens" but it's often very true. Good luck and keep your chin up.

Posted by: Chablis at June 16, 2006 05:35 AM (tMoUV)

2 I know, how about "every cloud has a silver lining" crap? That one makes my teeth grate.
"God has a plan for us and only he knows it" Ugh.
I think God has one serious sick sense of humor personally.
Sorry to hear this job did not work out.
((Stevie))

Posted by: Maeve at June 16, 2006 08:46 AM (b/7xM)

3 Aw that just sucks Stevie. Screw her. She sounds like a nut case.

Posted by: Libby at June 16, 2006 10:57 AM (DGO1F)

4 Maybe she just doesnt have the money to pay you...I would try not to take it personally, sounds like shes rather squirrely.

Posted by: Ruth at June 16, 2006 12:50 PM (kqTXB)






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