Betrayal, broken trust and a few other things you just can't fix...
Sometimes people surprise the shit outta me.
Not often, but it's usually because they've done something nice or selfless or they know how to keep their word or a confidence.
I deal with them when it becomes necessary.
I often have fun with it, too, like when jb needs his ass kicked. Then, there are people who also don't surprise me, yet don't get to piss me off either because, instead, they fuck up so royally that they turn me off to the nth degree to the fact of their very existence.
These people are frequently women. And, yeah, it was another fuckin' woman this time, too. See, I have ONE RULE. I have it here at Xfire, I have it at Gut Rumbles, I have it in my HOME, in my car, I have this rule at everybody the fuck else's blog on the whole goddamned planet... I have this ONE RULE.
You break it, you bought it and you can then fuck off. The rule? Anybody wanna fuckin' GUESS what the rule I have IS? You don't fuck Rob. And, I don't mean you don't fuck with Rob like bustin' his nads in fun or have sex with Rob, I mean you DO NOT FUCK THE MAN OVER, PERIOD. You hurt him, you suck, end of story. I don't give a flying fuck who you think you are or how badly you've suffered in your life or how "close" you think you are to him or anybody else, once you start adding to his problems, runnin' your untrustworthy fuckin' MOUTH, betraying trust... well, then... you just flat out suck and anybody worth a half a good goddamn would already know this.
Anybody worth a half a good goddamn wouldn't necessitate a post like this, now would they?
Anybody who truly loves someone wouldn't DO what was done to Rob. Somebody who was pissed OFF about something stupid sure would, though.
Someone who didn't get to play Crusader Rabbit, have a fantasy come true, be the be all end all of another person's existence... well, that person might find it "okay" to fuck a guy like Rob over. But, to use the word "love" in the explanation of the betrayal?
Oh, how utterly psychotic and unforgivable that is. "I love him therefore I must PROVE our closeness by telling the world things he told me in confidence, things that others don't know... things, that if others DID know, they'd probably get pissed about or give up on him over, thereby leaving him all for ME..." That's just fuckin' TWISTED, man. Betraying his trust is fuckin' twisted in and of itself, frankly.
At least have the balls to tell the truth about why. Don't blame it on "love".
Fucking someone over is the antithesis of love. Now, see... I know allllll about this Crusader Rabbit shit.
My mom used to call me that.
That's because I didn't just bring home every stray animal I found, I also usedta bring home stray PEOPLE.
Mostly guys, of course.
And, I know NOW that I was doing that to "save" them, so they'd love me forever for making their lives sooooooo much better. *short disgusted sigh*
In other words... that don't work.
Never has, never will.
FORTUNATELY, I figured that out MANY years ago.
As far as it goes with people, anyway.
I still do it with animals.... Anyway...
I know you can't really do that.
I learned that from experience. Then, I found Rob. And, I knew instinctively that you don't do that shit to HIM.
I also knew a buncha other shit about the guy immediately just by comprehending what he wrote. I've also had a great and abiding affection for the man (I hesitate to use the word "love" as it has been SO MOTHERFUCKIN' MISUSED AND ABUSED LATELY, especially when it comes to Rob) for four years. I've also only pissed him off once. ONE TIME and that was because I went off about Viet Nam in his comments and crapped all over HIS point and... I didn't do it no mo'.
I learned. I've also learned by watching other people fuck up.
Like Joan did.
Like Jenny did.
Like Jennifer did and does.
And now... like Livey has, although I feel compelled to state right now that that was one lesson I did not need.
I'd NEVER betray Rob like she just did. He tells you something in CONFIDENCE, you motherfuckin' KEEP IT THAT WAY, goddamn it. Hell man, Rob told lil ol' ME something waaay back before he went into Willingway and have I said a word?
No.
Wanna know why? Because I really do love the guy, in the purest sense of the word. I don't want anything from him.
I don't entertain illusions of grandeur about "saving" him or being "the one" female for him to give his heart away to again.
I don't judge him.
I don't give up on him.
I don't turn my love for the man on and off like a light switch, depending on his behavior.
I don't EVER want to hurt him.
I don't do anything but love the man and thank God every damned day that I found him when I did and have been able to follow him out of hell for as long as I have.
I also don't think he OWES ME a motherfuckin' thing.
In fact, I owe him.
Much more than I could ever repay.
I know that.
I know there's nothing proactive I can do, so I do what I can which is mostly keeping my fuckin' mouth SHUT about what he told me, asking God to give him a break with it, being glad every day that he's still here to learn from, stomping jb's troll-ass when he starts his shit and trying, above all else, to "first do no harm", a thing I learned when I was an EMT, many moons ago. Let me repeat that.... FIRST DO NO HARM. Simple concept, no? Must not be because SOME people sure as hell do have a hard time grasping it.
Don't you, LIVEY? Yeah girl... you done fucked up now.
I'm not saying that your whole life and what you do is null and void because of your apparent retardation when it comes to Rob, but woman... you really need to leave him the fuck alone before you push him too fuckin' far and give him the last excuse he needs to "handle it" his own way. And, fuck ME, fuck all of us who are actually content just to know (of) him, THIS MAN HAS A SON WHO IS GONNA NEED HIM TO BE HERE.
He also has a daughter and a Grammy-lady who'd be wantin' to hurt you BAD for what you've done to him by opening your mouth or for being what pushed him over the edge and "away" forever. A news flash for ya... Your "relationship" with Rob, whatever it may be to you, is not ABOUT you. Not in reality, anyway. After all he's been through and considering where he is now in his life, it's about HIM and nobody BUT him.
So is mine.
So is everybody else's.
He's earned that much.
And, anybody who has been around longer than fifteen minutes KNOWS that and ACCEPTS that and LOVES him all the more for the honesty. Rob's had a whooooole life he's lived without your interference, your version of "help" (which again, is the ANTITHESIS of helping) and he's got a lotta life left to live, a son to see to manhood, an old age to make his own coming up in about 20 years and a whole host of REAL things to have to deal with, without your brand of shit being flung into the mix. Honestly, woman, if this is how you "love" people, do Rob a favor and hate him, wouldja?
Just leave him the fuck ALONE before you do any more damage. And, try to understand this... I'm not so much pissed off at you for what you did to Rob.
HE'LL handle your ass on that count.
My solution has already been implemented and it's all I need to do, besides this post, to make my point. What I am pissed off at you for is having his trust and throwing it away, right into his face, when that's the last thing he needs. He TRUSTED you and YOU BLEW IT.
I know you've been through a lotta shit in your life, but you seem to have survived it reasonably well and never before have you made me think that you're flat out fuckin' STUPID, but... you have now. To be given a gift, like the trust of a many-times-fucked-over-man, and to just so thoughtlessly and thoroughly trash it... Jeezus fuck. Beyond that, what REALLY pisses me off is that you also made me feel like an ass for thinking you were one of the few, the proud, the "not psycho" chicks on the planet. I trusted you, too.
And, I do NOT trust women and this kinda shit is why.
Hell, woman, I'd sooner have had you try to fuck ME over than Rob.
At least then, you wouldn't have been dumping shit on someone who was already "downed" by other, more REAL, shit going on. Honestly Livey... what you did was worse than the shit jb does.
He verbally abuses, disrespects and mouths off at Rob every time he shows up.
BUT... all he is is annoying.
Just another gnat in the face that Rob doesn't need. But, you... Rob trusted you.
Do you even BEGIN to know what that meant?
Obviously not or you wouldn't have pissed it away like you did. You take endless shit from the people you take care of.
You take endless shit from your ex and your kids.
The amount of shit you put up with is staggering and yet, the one person you decide to fuck back is ROB?
Why?
Why the fuck did you do that?
And don't even THINK about using the word "love"...
Is the difference that you get "compensated" for taking shit from all those others?
And that, maybe, you didn't get what you wanted from Rob, so you feel it's just hunky-friggin'-DORY to screw him like you did? I so thought you were not a typical woman. Well, world... I WAS WRONG!!!!!! I can admit that.
God knows, I've been wrong before.
But, I'm very rarely wrong about women.
I think that's because I think they suck from the gitgo. And, more then focusing on your betrayal of Rob, mostly what is occuring to me right now is to be thankful for all the other females around here who haven't made me out to be ass for trusting them to not be "typical". And, yeah, I know I've dropped the f-bomb several hundred times, but that was for emphasis more than to express anger, because I'm not even angry at you, like I said, for the royal ass-fucking you gave Rob.
He'll handle that and, meanwhile, I'm somewhere BEYOND pissed. At least when I'm pissed, there's usually something there left to work with. With this situation and you, there's not. You have beaten yourself to death, as far as I'm concerned, with your flapping lips. That you could do something so hurtful, thoughtless, cold, heartless and back-stabbing to ROB, of all people, tells me more about you than reading your blog has in all the time I've been reading you, including your archives. And, what it tells me... SCREAMS to me, is "TYPICAL WO-MAAAAN!!!!" AND and, the last thing I need in my life in any way shape or form is another typical, cat-shit MEAN when she doesn't get her way FEMALE.
I don't need another stupid female making ME look like shit just because I happen to be a female too, by being another bc in a man's life who has already been fucked half to death by "typical females".
Especially when it comes to Rob. And, yes, he IS a special case to me. And, I hate it that you've set us ALL back about 200 fuckin' years and made his theories about women in general seem true just to... what? Give yourself a thrill? Prove something? What?
Why did you DO this to him?
To me?
No, fuck ME...
To YOURSELF? Whatever your fucked up reason was, IT WASN'T WORTH IT!!!!!!
And, don't EVER go thinking it was. I suppose you were thinking it was an "heroic" thing to do... to "call him out" on it, to "make" him straighten up.
That's the BEST reason I can come up with for why you did what you did and it's also the STUPIDEST HORSESHIT I've had to consider in quite a while.
How in the FUCK can you think you "know" Rob so well, yet be so STUPID?
How did you think that was ever gonna work with him? Knowing you like I thought I did, I have to believe that's what you were trying to do (or else you're just a worse bc than Jennifer), but that still doesn't make it any better. You can't "un-do" this.
You can't "fix" it.
You can apologize to Rob til your face falls off and it still comes down to the same thing... You cannot be trusted.
And, given the opportunity, you WILL kick a man in the balls who is already "down". Yet another coupla things I have learned from Rob.... Wanna know one thing I do still wanna learn?
Who "Bloody but Wiser" was from my last go-round in Rob's comments with that idiot, jb.
Somebody out there has the sense God gave a fuckin' ROCK, at least, because they tried to warn jb that fuckin' with Rob when I'm around is a baaaaad idea.
I just can't remember who that'd be. I know who it ISN'T, though... Anyway... I've said my piece on this.
I wasn't about to let something this egregious happen without pointing out in technicolor WHY it is so wrong, so bad, so... un-fucking-BELIEVABLE.
Hell, I tear jb a new one every time he starts his trifilin' shit.
You think this is gonna go unremarked upon?
Not even. Livey... I don't know what else to say to you.
You fucked up so bad I can't even BEGIN to really comprehend it yet.
You always talk about you being the one to get fucked over and how you're not the kind of person who'd do something like that, then you turn around and DO IT to the ABSOLUTE LAST PERSON who needs it, deserves it or would get ANY kind of benefit from it. Way to go. It was nice reading you, but I'm gonna pass on that from now on.
I HATE being lied to.
(And, I ain't real thrilled with people who fuck with Rob anyway, as we all know.) Two lingering thoughts... First, WHY?
Why'd you do it, and why'd you do it TO ROB, of all people?
And...
You did that so easily and repetitively (you said it more than once) that it simply CAN'T be the first time you've done that to someone, soooo... maybe the shit you take from alla those people is for some kinda REASON? I don't know.
But, maybe YOU oughta think about it. (And, no... I don't expect any answers. There ARE no answers for this. This, what was done to Rob, is just utter and complete HORSESHIT, right down the line...)
Comments
1
Sounds to me like Rob brings most of his troubles and "blog drama" upon himself. I've been reading his blog for going on close to three years and I'm amazed at the people who come out to defend him when he gets his panties in a wad. He goes out of his way to offend people and then get offended when someone defends themselves against one of his tirades. And then his posse comes into the defense and coddles him. Especially wimmen. As much bullcrap as he talks about your fair gender, there are still those who defend his words. This is no personal slight on you of course, but it sure does perplex me why people can't see through his bullshit. I don't know what the uproar is all about. Sounds to me like Livey didn't say anything that most of us hadn't already figured out for ourselves. Sounds to me like he threw down the gauntlet and she responded. Tit for tat and all's fair in love and blog drama. That's just my opinion though, not that it matters.
Posted by: JT at June 01, 2006 03:09 AM (xlejI)
2
Yeah, I'm right there with ya on the "just my opinion, not that it matters" part.
I was thinking that while typing the post, but I still had to get it out.
And, I also don't really understand the whole "females who defend him" thing either, except knowing that I'm one who would... not only defend him, but beat somebody's ass for him, if need be.
I think that, for me, it has to do with my perception of his having saved my life back when I first found him.
I was in HELL and his was the first "blog" I'd ever seen and I was hooked from day one. That led me to start blogging myself and even my Dad'll tell ya, blogging saved me... my life, whatever little sanity I have left... saved me.
And, if it wasn't for Rob, I doubt I'd have ever started doing it.
And, I don't know what it is, but there's just something about him, for me at least, that makes me wanna shoulder some of his burdens, take some of his bullets for him or keep from having to eat superfluous shit in the first place.
Not that I think he can't handle it himself, I just want to do it for him... and there ain't many people I wanna do that for, lem'me tell ya... *grin*
And, what has blown me away the most, hurt me the most and completely set me off about Livey is that she betrayed his trust by telling everybody what he told her IN CONFIDENCE.
Even if others HAD figured it out, they all, collectively, had enough class to not say it, let alone be TOLD IT by Rob and then turn around and barf it into public, in his comments for all of his readers to see.
If he'd WANTED all of us to know, he'd have told us himself.
SHE could have handled it by email or by phone or by carrier pigeon... PRIVATELY.
There is no excuse for publically screwing him over like she did.
She's been a victim of people's needless crap more than once and for her to then turn around and pull the same shit on Rob is unconscionable.
The way it looks to me, she got pissed off because he didn't respond "correctly" to her offers of "help". (I read him AND her both before I started writing my post...)
When someone doesn't feel good in the first place, expecting civilized behavior is borderline dumb to begin with.
Expecting it from Rob, as pissed off in general as he is, on TOP of feeling like shit for so long, is flat out stupid.
He was raised not to ask for help to begin with.
Women have ultimately screwed him over more times than not.
And, like he brings out the "protector" in me, he seems to bring out the "wanna MARRY him" gene in other women.
This has not worked in the past for the others who've tried it and for Livey to not know that is just ridiculous.
To get bent at him for it and pull a stunt like this is... beyond words.
There's a little "decorator"-type plaque I've seen many times in my life that says something about a friend being someone who knows you REALLY WELL, warts and all, and loves ya anyway.
That's Rob... "warts and all"...
I can accept him EXACTLY the way he is and still love him like I do without feeling the need to make him into someone he's not... ever.
Hell, I don't even give him shit about cats and I've got about a hundred of the freakin' critters.
I just know "that's Rob" and let him be himself.
And, if I can do that, as much as I love cats, I don't see why everybody else can't just let him be, too.
Rob is who he is and he's pretty damned unique.
You either accept that and love him or you have your own agenda which will never be fulfilled and get pissed and try to hurt him.
Besides, if there's one thing I canNOT stand, it's people I can't trust.
And, by doing what she did to whom she did it, Livey has shown herself to be that kind of person.
I don't necessarily like that, but it IS the reality to deal with.
(And, for whatever it's worth, had I had the chance to stop her before she did it, I would have, I liked her that much...)
I was thinking that while typing the post, but I still had to get it out.
And, I also don't really understand the whole "females who defend him" thing either, except knowing that I'm one who would... not only defend him, but beat somebody's ass for him, if need be.
I think that, for me, it has to do with my perception of his having saved my life back when I first found him.
I was in HELL and his was the first "blog" I'd ever seen and I was hooked from day one. That led me to start blogging myself and even my Dad'll tell ya, blogging saved me... my life, whatever little sanity I have left... saved me.
And, if it wasn't for Rob, I doubt I'd have ever started doing it.
And, I don't know what it is, but there's just something about him, for me at least, that makes me wanna shoulder some of his burdens, take some of his bullets for him or keep from having to eat superfluous shit in the first place.
Not that I think he can't handle it himself, I just want to do it for him... and there ain't many people I wanna do that for, lem'me tell ya... *grin*
And, what has blown me away the most, hurt me the most and completely set me off about Livey is that she betrayed his trust by telling everybody what he told her IN CONFIDENCE.
Even if others HAD figured it out, they all, collectively, had enough class to not say it, let alone be TOLD IT by Rob and then turn around and barf it into public, in his comments for all of his readers to see.
If he'd WANTED all of us to know, he'd have told us himself.
SHE could have handled it by email or by phone or by carrier pigeon... PRIVATELY.
There is no excuse for publically screwing him over like she did.
She's been a victim of people's needless crap more than once and for her to then turn around and pull the same shit on Rob is unconscionable.
The way it looks to me, she got pissed off because he didn't respond "correctly" to her offers of "help". (I read him AND her both before I started writing my post...)
When someone doesn't feel good in the first place, expecting civilized behavior is borderline dumb to begin with.
Expecting it from Rob, as pissed off in general as he is, on TOP of feeling like shit for so long, is flat out stupid.
He was raised not to ask for help to begin with.
Women have ultimately screwed him over more times than not.
And, like he brings out the "protector" in me, he seems to bring out the "wanna MARRY him" gene in other women.
This has not worked in the past for the others who've tried it and for Livey to not know that is just ridiculous.
To get bent at him for it and pull a stunt like this is... beyond words.
There's a little "decorator"-type plaque I've seen many times in my life that says something about a friend being someone who knows you REALLY WELL, warts and all, and loves ya anyway.
That's Rob... "warts and all"...
I can accept him EXACTLY the way he is and still love him like I do without feeling the need to make him into someone he's not... ever.
Hell, I don't even give him shit about cats and I've got about a hundred of the freakin' critters.
I just know "that's Rob" and let him be himself.
And, if I can do that, as much as I love cats, I don't see why everybody else can't just let him be, too.
Rob is who he is and he's pretty damned unique.
You either accept that and love him or you have your own agenda which will never be fulfilled and get pissed and try to hurt him.
Besides, if there's one thing I canNOT stand, it's people I can't trust.
And, by doing what she did to whom she did it, Livey has shown herself to be that kind of person.
I don't necessarily like that, but it IS the reality to deal with.
(And, for whatever it's worth, had I had the chance to stop her before she did it, I would have, I liked her that much...)
Posted by: Stevie at June 01, 2006 03:59 AM (JlbrK)
3
Stevie, you answered your own your questions about me in your description of your "love" for the man.
First, I am not at all upset that "he doesn't return my affection." (There's more to that than I will indulge.)
Second, I did not betray any trust. Rob does not trust me to begin. You can't betray a trust that wasn't there. He doesn't even remember daring me to tell the world he was drinking again, and I held it in anyway. I didn't take that dare, at the time. Even when he first goaded me. He pushed, I pushed back. Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same in my position.I've seen you do it here many times.
Third, there was no handling it in private with a man who hangs up on you when he doesn't want to hear the truth, ignores your emails, even the responses to his, and basically throws a temper tantrum every time you are right about him.
Fourth. I did exactly what the drama queen wanted me to do because he was too ashamed to do it himself.
And yes, I can still love him, knowing all his faults, but that doesn't mean I want him to be in my life. I love myself more than to let him continuely abuse me.
Now that's all I will say publicly, if you want to discuss this further, so you can understand, you have my email.
First, I am not at all upset that "he doesn't return my affection." (There's more to that than I will indulge.)
Second, I did not betray any trust. Rob does not trust me to begin. You can't betray a trust that wasn't there. He doesn't even remember daring me to tell the world he was drinking again, and I held it in anyway. I didn't take that dare, at the time. Even when he first goaded me. He pushed, I pushed back. Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same in my position.I've seen you do it here many times.
Third, there was no handling it in private with a man who hangs up on you when he doesn't want to hear the truth, ignores your emails, even the responses to his, and basically throws a temper tantrum every time you are right about him.
Fourth. I did exactly what the drama queen wanted me to do because he was too ashamed to do it himself.
And yes, I can still love him, knowing all his faults, but that doesn't mean I want him to be in my life. I love myself more than to let him continuely abuse me.
Now that's all I will say publicly, if you want to discuss this further, so you can understand, you have my email.
Posted by: livey at June 01, 2006 09:46 AM (Q8Sm+)
4
Don't always agree with you, Stevie, and I'm not a member of the Acidman fan club. But this time I think you nailed it. What this Borderline Personality Disorder did was as viscious, shameful and self-serving an act as I've seen on the blogosphere in a long time. Sick sick, sick. Hope ol' Rob can get his shit together. There's a lot there that we don't need to lose.
.
P.S. Bet we all wish we had a defender like Stevie. I know I do.
.
P.S. Bet we all wish we had a defender like Stevie. I know I do.
Posted by: Bloody But Wiser at June 01, 2006 04:34 PM (1fie6)
5
Man, the enablers are out in force, tonight.
Posted by: Bane at June 01, 2006 09:24 PM (JO5DH)
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