So far, so good...

Little sore, lot tired (more from not sleeping than sheer labor).

Yesterday was a day of "firsts"... involving SuperHorse.

First first, I got to clean his stall.
Before, it was done before I got there.
Mr Boss always did it.

Yesterday... me.

Then, again for the first time, I got to take him (SuperHorse, not Mr Boss) down to the indoor.
That's the first time I've moved him anywhere, especially by myself and, even MORE especially, without even anybody else on the farm.

Make no mistake, I did check first, before everybody left, to make sure that's what was wanted for him.
It was and I got to do it.
Very cool.
He behaved beautifully.
And, he does have have a minor history of just taking off, if he's of a mind to, too.
He's had Mr Boss flapping along at the end of his lead rope more than once, from what I hear, BUT... he was a good boy, thank God... *grin*

A few things occured to me today...
My "no longer friend's" initials are GD.
"GD" is also the initials of "God Damn".
God Damn is just about what I feel/think whenever I think of him now, so it fits.
Especially for the first thing I was thinking about today...

How fucked up is it that one of the best, most highly trained people who do what they do to defend freedom has none in his personal life?

I think that's even more fucked up than my whole life has been.
And, I hope I'm not the only one of us who learns something from alla this.
And...
The chick in that situation is just as fucked up as the one who set my bathroom on fire, just with different parameters.

And, to quote Forrest Gump: That's all I have to say about that.

I now have a name for my Appaloosa whenever he gets here...

Bocephus.
As in Hank Jr.
As in SuperHorse's real name.

I do believe that's about as close as I'm ever gonna get to having a "Hank baby", so, as long as the App doesn't behave in such a manner as to make it an insult to SuperHorse (Hank), I'll be naming him "Hank Jr"... kinda.
Plus, I had a cat named Bocephus and he lived for like, 15 years, so maybe that'll be a "lucky" name for the horse and he won't do what Storm did.
Besides, you can shorten it to "Bo" and I like that name, too.

I've also decided that until I'm told otherwise, I'm just gonna keep showing up for work.
I still haven't been told how long this is supposed to last and this morning when I got there, I told Mr Boss I wasn't sure (because he hadn't said before I left the day before) whether or not I as supposed to be there, but I figured I'd come see.
He said, "Wull, hell yeah.... I got ta git going here soon..."
So, I decided then and there to just keep going back every day til he tells me not to.
In about a hundred years, I hope.

And, ya know what?
What I do has less to do with "just horse poop" than it does being trusted with multi-thousand dollar horses and a herd of highly prized Jack Russells.
I can run any of the equipment I may need, move horses around as I see fit and being the only one there to make decisions is rather awesome.

I get instructions, sure. I know what needs to be done and when and with whom, but... being there all by myself is cool.
Very much like the "coolness" of being the entire night shift on the dairyfarm back in Jersey.
You get done doing a job like that, or this, without help and doing it well, it feels GREAT.
Looking around the place from atop a tractor, seeing the highly prized Jack's running around and all the horses whose well-being is in your hands is pretty fuckin' cool.

And, ya know what else?
I wouldn't trade my life for, say, some chick's in California who has a kid, a brand new car, a husband in the military and who just went on a cruise.
Or anybody's elses, for that matter.

Sometimes, I wonder if I've missed out by not having the requisite kids, the 80 year marriage, the mortgage, the car payments and alla that shit.
And, it mostly sounds very stressful and tiring.
Yet, sometimes, I wondered...

I think that's another thing that talking to/re-losing/whatever-that-was God Damn has cleared up for me.
I ain't missin' NUTHIN'.

So I don't have kids, own a house or have a brand new car.

What I do have is a blast most of the time and freedom.
And, not in every instance is "freedom just another word for nothin' left to lose."
Because as long as you HAVE freedom, you've got EVERYTHING to lose.
And, I'll take my freedom, fun and "bohemian lifestyle" (I'm being nice to me about it, shut up *grin*) over being tied down to a "conventional" life every. single. time.
Even moreso, since I've figured out a few things lately.

I'd rather have alla my animals, my ex-cop car, my herdsman honey and not knowing what may come next over a buncha crumb-snatchers, a new car with payments and full coverage, a job-obssessed, suit-wearing "professional" man and knowing the house payment is due AGAIN.
That kinda stress can kill a person and the shit I get "stressed" over is laughable by comparison.
And, just because that's true, doesn't mean that my LIFE is laughable by comparison, either.

Yeah, I did kinda think it was... me too, for that matter.
But, I don't now.

In a world of crotch rockets, I'm a Harley.
Loud, not conventional, sometimes hard to maintain, probably cost more than I'm worth, but, like they say...

"If I have to explain it to ya, you probably wouldn't understand it anyway."

That's my life.
That's me.
And, I think that's pretty friggin' cool, actually.
And, maybe I am too.

Anyway...
Gotta go "do" my nails.
Do some wash.
Run to the store.
Make dinner.
That kinda shit.

And, get used to not being uncomfortable being me.

Peace

Oh and I forgot to mention....

I bought my duck a kiddie pool the other day.
She loves it, too.

That's the kind of person I like being.
The kind who'll haul a kiddie pool through all of Wal-Mart and explain to everybody who mentions it in the store that it's not for a kid, but for a duck.
Then, who has to damn near fold it in half to get it into the back seat of a copcar to the amusement of several onlookers in the parking lot.

Nobody else I know does THAT kinda shit, nor would probably even THINK to.

But... I do.

*big, shit-eatin'-grin*

Posted by: Stevie at 02:51 PM

Comments

Posted by: Catfish at May 17, 2006 03:39 PM (ijUGs)

Posted by: Maeve at May 17, 2006 05:37 PM (b/7xM)

Posted by: Light & Dark at May 18, 2006 10:00 PM (qH634)

Posted by: Libby at May 19, 2006 08:46 AM (DGO1F)

Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.0111 seconds.
18 queries taking 0.0093 seconds, 12 records returned.
Page size 10 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.