He loves me, he loves me not...

Lately my life has been like a giant flower, with each day being a petal picked off signifying "He loves me, He loves me not".
"He" being God...

Well, today I got proof positive that He does at least like me.

After last week with that thing in my nearly-burnt-down house, the last few days of blog-silence from Rob whom I know is sick with an intestinal thing he picked up in Costa Rica, the last two days at work with the two stupid horses who lost their teeny tiny minds for reasons unknown to moi, the weather not being able to decide if it's Spring or not thus making dressing for and dealing with work a major issue among other assorted shit, I was getting kinda confused about whether God was pissed at me or what, ya know?

But, He must not be because...

I got to hear from Brooklyn Mikey.

(Yeah Dad... that guy I "know" from New York... the one that YOU even know how concerned I've been about.)

Now, pardon me all to hell and gone while I fall apart over it for a few, okay?
I'm that relieved.
I'm that happy.

*coupla minutes later*

So.
How does one even get so emotionally invested in a person they've not met in person?

Fuck if I know, but it can happen and did with Mike.

From day one, there's just been something about him...

And, I don't think I'd have even been open to it, if it weren't for Paul.
He was the first.
And, he's been "the longest".

Both of these guys are just wonderful people and I think of them both as "best friends" of mine.
As in, (I hope) they both know they can always turn to me, tell me anything and it'll never change how I feel about 'em.
I can also tell them anything and they don't get grossed out, either.

I've never met either of them "in person", though I have spoken to Paul on the phone more times than I can even begin to count. Probably almost as many times as I've given Mike my cell number since January...

Paul "found" me when I was in a hell I could never have conceived. It was so bad, I didn't even know how bad it really was.
But... he did.
And, he got me out of it.
He didn't leave me there to flounder and die.
He pulled me, kinda "slingshot"-ed me ahead a bit, then I'd do the same for him til we were both back on more solid ground about things.

Since then, it doesn't matter how long it is between talks, we just pick up like it was yesterday and go on to the next thing.
And, we both know we'll always be able to do that.

A few months after Paul had pulled most of my head outta my ass, along comes Mike.

Great guy, he is.
Very nice looking, very intelligent, sweet, kind hearted, great sense of humor... just a quality man.
I liked him tremendously even before I found out he'd been in the second tower on "that" day.

After I found out?
Well, hell... now I'd kill for the guy.
On top of how utterly cool he is, he went through that?
That's enough "bad" for a lifetime, so woe be unto any fool who tries to hurt him now, know what I mean?

Well, he does, so I guess it's okay if you don't... *smile*

Anyway, the longer I "know" him, the more I just love him.
I use the quotes around the word "know" because I've not met him face-to-face, nor even spoken to him on the phone (he hates phones), though I did get to hear his voice today.

I called him at work and got his voicemail.
Twice.

Hey man... it's been MONTHS since he's said a word anywhere and it's not like I didn't say I was gonna...

Anyway, that resulted in an email or two and now I feel ever s'much better.

He sounds great, too...

God, I miss him.
Hope he gets back to blogging soon.

Rob too, for that matter.
Just like Mad Mikey did... thank God Almighty.

No, I may not understand how it is you can come to love people so very much that you've never met, but I can tell ya... it does happen.
Even to me, Miss I-Hate-People....
Which just goes to show ya just how wonderful these people are...

Brooklyn Mikey
Paul
Mad Mikey
Rob....

I can't and don't wanna even imagine how empty my life would be without y'all.

So, please don't make me.
'Kay?
Mike?

Just knowing you guys are out there somewhere helps more than I can say.

(Now, everybody else, click the extended entry...)

Peace

For the record, I also appreciate the rest of you people... the ones I haven't been on the verge of losing lately...

Mad Mikey almost died.
Rob is very, very ill as I type and I haven't had a clue as to what's been going on with Brooklyn Mike the last few months. I've just known it was something "not good".

Paul has been fine, thank all that is holy.

But, while this post is focusing on very specific people, I don't want anybody else to feel left out... Mary, Darrel, Cat, Chablis, Maeve, Livey....

Y'all know who ya are...
*grin*

And... so do I.

Thank you ALL for that, too...

Posted by: Stevie at 06:38 PM

Comments

Posted by: Chablis at March 15, 2006 07:03 PM (t9ebt)

2 Aww ya big softey!

Posted by: livey at March 15, 2006 09:21 PM (F6vVe)

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