It's okay... I just put it to "draft"...
I simply cannot deal with this anymore.
And, no, this isn't the only thing....
I also can't find out without adding to everyone's already overwhelming burden. So... I'm done.
WHEN, not if, Mikey gets back to his life and to blogging, I'll be there.
Just like he has been for me so very many times. Until then... whatever. Frankly, at this point, and not just because of this, I'm seriously considering being done with blogging. On top of everything else, this used to be my one unfettered way of having contact with that guy who fathered me and he's not even here anymore. Haven't heard from him in ages.
Like that's anything new, I know, but still... Here lately, this seems to be more about who's NOT here and what "used to be" that isn't anymore. I've had enough losses in my life to last my 99 lifetimes and so I'm wondering what the point even is anymore. Doesn't seem to be one, with the sole exception of Chablis telling me what that animal was the other day. Which was cool as hell buuuut.... There's just too much pressure, horseshit, frustration and hurt in my life right now.
And, this isn't helping anymore, like it used to. And, I do have to admit, finding out that knowing someone, and even coming to love them, through blogging doesn't count is the last straw.
And, I'm not even a camel. Pft. Anyway... I'm outta here.
And, no, it doesn't mean anything bad has happened to Mikey that the top post in no more. It just means that "I get it".
Comments
1
The losses do add up over time. It's hard on our poor little human brains that we're constantly adding the subtractions. But we endure. Even though we hope to prevail, we endure.
See ya when ya get back.
See ya when ya get back.
Posted by: BlogDog at January 25, 2006 02:25 PM (sIz0Y)
2
Hi Love,
I wrote you a week or so ago and heard (read)
nothing back. I tried to call you just now from work and I keep getting some guy who isn't you, and who is getting tired of talking to me! Please call me at work any time from now until 0600 in the morning. Or call me at home after one pm tomorrow..(I'll be sleeping until then) or call me at work tomorrow evening between 5:30pm and 6:00am. I'm at a real loss why someone else
answers when I call your number. At least call me with your real number (which I thought I had)
so I can talk to you.
Norman is in Camp Pentellton (however it's spelled..). He was supposed to be there until the end of February for further trainging, then head for Iraq. He called us Sunday and said he's leaving for Iraq on 2/1. He's been 'promoted'
to the machine-gunner on the vehicle which goes out to pick up ded Marines... He's very happy about this. We rather think that 'machine-gunner'
translates into 'target', but we didn't tell him this or anything else discouraging... He has a lap-top, and we may write him. We'll give you the address when you call so you may keep track of him, too. (I don't have his web address, since Kim talked to him and wrote it down.)
I am not only not ignoring you, I told Norm to call and write you about ten times when he was here and again when he went back to Quantico(or however THAT'S spelled!) We only saw him about
four days out of the ten he was 'home'! Pals and pune-tang took up nearly all of his time.
Please call me SOON!
Much Love,
DAD
Hi Love,
I wrote you a week or so ago and heard (read)
nothing back. I tried to call you just now from work and I keep getting some guy who isn't you, and who is getting tired of talking to me! Please call me at work any time from now until 0600 in the morning. Or call me at home after one pm tomorrow..(I'll be sleeping until then) or call me at work tomorrow evening between 5:30pm and 6:00am. I'm at a real loss why someone else
answers when I call your number. At least call me with your real number (which I thought I had)
so I can talk to you.
Norman is in Camp Pentellton (however it's spelled..). He was supposed to be there until the end of February for further trainging, then head for Iraq. He called us Sunday and said he's leaving for Iraq on 2/1. He's been 'promoted'
to the machine-gunner on the vehicle which goes out to pick up ded Marines... He's very happy about this. We rather think that 'machine-gunner'
translates into 'target', but we didn't tell him this or anything else discouraging... He has a lap-top, and we may write him. We'll give you the address when you call so you may keep track of him, too. (I don't have his web address, since Kim talked to him and wrote it down.)
I am not only not ignoring you, I told Norm to call and write you about ten times when he was here and again when he went back to Quantico(or however THAT'S spelled!) We only saw him about
four days out of the ten he was 'home'! Pals and pune-tang took up nearly all of his time.
Please call me SOON!
Much Love,
DAD
Posted by: Norm Vanaman at January 25, 2006 09:27 PM (OWcWc)
3
Hi Stevie,
I really enjoy reading your blog. I would really miss you if you went away! I don't comment much but I think you have a very interesting life. I would love to be able to work with animals like you do. I like animals a hell of a lot more than most people. Take a little toke and reconsider. PLEASE!
I really enjoy reading your blog. I would really miss you if you went away! I don't comment much but I think you have a very interesting life. I would love to be able to work with animals like you do. I like animals a hell of a lot more than most people. Take a little toke and reconsider. PLEASE!
Posted by: Tena at January 25, 2006 10:54 PM (y6n8O)
4
Don't quit.
Posted by: Acidman at January 25, 2006 11:17 PM (tZcNR)
5
Ditto what Rob said. I know it sounds cliche, but sometimes when you're at the end of your rope, there really is no other choice but to tie a knot and hang on.
Posted by: Chablis at January 26, 2006 05:27 AM (t9ebt)
6
Yeah, I know yer right, Chablis.
My biggest problem with the knot tying part is that sometimes I get so friggin' pissed, I wanna tie the knot around my neck... *giggle*
And, hey... before I forget again... I can't see your site right.
Not even if I open it in IE.
The left hand side is beyond the... oh how do I describe this?
It goes off the side of my screen.
Like, if I could get real close to the monitor and kinda peek into/under the edge, I'd be able to see it.
And, the slide thing that goes across the bottom is as far to the right as it can be, so that's not it.
Anything I can do to make it so I can see all of it?
(Shoulda remembered to ask Paul about this last night when I was talking to him...)
My biggest problem with the knot tying part is that sometimes I get so friggin' pissed, I wanna tie the knot around my neck... *giggle*
And, hey... before I forget again... I can't see your site right.
Not even if I open it in IE.
The left hand side is beyond the... oh how do I describe this?
It goes off the side of my screen.
Like, if I could get real close to the monitor and kinda peek into/under the edge, I'd be able to see it.
And, the slide thing that goes across the bottom is as far to the right as it can be, so that's not it.
Anything I can do to make it so I can see all of it?
(Shoulda remembered to ask Paul about this last night when I was talking to him...)
Posted by: Stevie at January 26, 2006 11:22 AM (uDJMg)
7
Are you using Firefox or IE and what version is it? It's entirely possible that I mucked up the code but I think I tested in all browser versions for the past two years. I'd be willing to bet the code for one of the quizzes is screwing it up.
Posted by: Chablis at January 26, 2006 04:35 PM (t9ebt)
8
Hey don't quit. Use this for you, fuck anyone else. Hang in there.
Posted by: livey at January 26, 2006 05:35 PM (UoFSB)
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