Stephen King has got nothing on dairy farming when it comes to horror sometimes... Jesus.
Ya know how they say, "One thing leads to another"?
Well, it's most definitely true and sometimes it sucks hard and ya just wish it wasn't.
Like today.
Started raining the exact minute I got out of the car when I got home.
*rolls eyes*
(I shoulda known right then...)
That was bad enough, ya know?
But... no biggie, really.
I was already sweat soaked, anyway... As usual, unplanned shit came up and I got out there to do the babies a little later than I had intended.
Now, usually, when this kinda shit happens, I write it off as God's doing and I don't sweat it or push it or even worry about it.
Should have today. I go out, clock in, go talk to Eric to find out what the plan is and go to get my first bale of straw.
First, I notice that the wheelbarrow fulla calf feed is getting wet.
So, I scrape off the wet top layer, cover the rest and give the two 5 gallon buckets of wet shit to the bigger calves. (That's what we do with all of the "old" calf grain.) I get done dickin' around with that and looked over at the springers. Those are the cows that're ready to give birth any time.
You can't possibly check on them often enough, it seems. I see this one cow, walking around, drooling, with her tail damned near straight up in the air over her back.
What the hell? I don't recall seeing that behavior before....
So, I go on into the pen and get behind her.
Nothing showing... at first.
Then, she pushed. What the hell? I didn't know what I was seeing.
Looked like she was trying to expell her calfbed or some other bizarre internal organ.
Then, she did it again, and I realized it was a tongue.
She had about 8 inches of calf tongue hanging out of her... crotch.
Now I know "what the hell" and I go get Eric. "Hey. You've got a big problem out there with one of the springers. Got a tongue hanging out. Biiig nose, too, but no feet...." I kinda figured from the first minute I recognized what I was seeing that the baby was probably dead, or wasn't gonna make it, even if it was alive, but I had NO idea what I was getting into.
I mean, I know this happens and have even heard first-person stories about it, but, until today I had been fortunate enough to not see it myself and I hope to hell and back I never do again. The calf was dead, like I thought, but... it had been dead for a few days and was also decomposing.
You ain't smelled NUTHIN, til you smell a decomposing calf that still has to be extracted. I don't know if it was the knowledge that we had to get it outta there that made it so much worse, or what, but damn man... Eric did a quick check/feel around and radio-ed Larry. While we were waiting for him, Eric starts trying to find the calf's feet, to bring 'em up and out to be able to get the calf out.
He can't even find a leg.
And the smell got worse every time he pulled his arm out. I think by the time it was over, TWO HOURS LATER, he'd gone through three pairs of breeding gloves. Larry shows up pretty quick and that's when things went to hell in a hurry.
Not that any of it was Larry's fault, it was just that they could really get moving with the two of them working on her while I held her in between the gates. After Eric still couldn't even feel a leg after about 15 minutes, Larry sent me to get the puller and a halter and some other shit.
By the time I got back, Eric had a hoof out. So, they get the cow haltered and tied, attach the chain to the leg and start cranking.
Now, even under the best circumstances, when you're pulling a calf that way, you have to be careful and you can't rush shit.
This is even more true when the calf is dead, swollen and dry as a friggin' bone. That poor fuckin' cow... God. They were cranking the come-along, trying to get the baby out.
It was hard going. The hardest I've ever seen.
So hard, in fact, that... the baby's leg... it came off. The whole leg, from the shoulder.
I nearly lost it then, but I didn't.
I just kept playing this one song from The Farmer's Wife, something about "Blame it on me, blame it on the something, something... til it goes down into your stubborn bones..." or something like that, in my head. I don't know what the song is, but I kept it going over and over. That, alternated with "Darrel would do it, Darrel would do it..." like a mantra, so I wouldn't throw up or run screaming.
(Told ya he gives me strength. Usually, when I have some kinda shitjob to do that I'd just as soon not, I picture him lugging that big-assed tire across the driveway or coming home from work late at night, after dark, only to go out and do his own field work. The guy is awesome in his work ethic...) Anyway... I have my back against the gate and I have the cows tail in my hand, over my head to keep it outta the way.
I don't wanna see any more of this than I have to, but I can hear...
I hear the cow moan/mooing and I hear the chain creaking and popping noises every so often.
Then, I turned just in time, to get a better stance on the gate, to see the leg come flying out. All three of us just looked at each other and said some form of the Lord's name...
"God", "Jesus", "Christ".... I felt myself start to tear up and turned away again, my back on the gate, leaning into it so the cow wouldn't fall. At this point, Larry and Eric are discussing, quickly, what to do next.
I hear myself say softly, "You could put the chain around... around the head..."
They did.
It was all that was out and available. More cranking, more pulling, more moan/mooing, more popping noises.
I had to get a better stance on the gate again and half turned and saw the baby's neck... My hand to God, it was a foot and a half long if it was an inch. I've never seen extension like that before in anything. At this point, Larry calls for more help. Naturally, the jerkoff from last week shows up.... Just what we need to complete the festivities, right?
I saw him coming in the barn and said, "Oh, lovely. I'd rather look at a decomposed calf than him..." and turned my back to him, facing the cow's ass, Larry and Eric. (And, just for the record, he didn't have one smartassed word to say, since there were guys around. Wuss...) The other guy who also showed up, Nathan, actually helped. Jeff the Jerkoff just stood around, cracking wise and generally showing off his uselessness. I expected nothing more. Larry took over the tail-holding detail, I got a grip on the gate again, Nathan took over the come-along and Eric got the other leg, finally. Between Nathan cranking and Eric pushing the edges of her crotch back, the calf ever-so-slowly started to come out a bit.
That's when I noticed it was as dry as if it had been born hours before.
That was definitely not helping... After another seemingly endless amount of time, they got it. Once the shoulders cleared, it came a little easier.
Then, once it was out, we saw what the biggest problem had been.
From the hips down, the calf's hind legs were swollen to three times the normal size.
There are no words, believe me. The cow is fucked. She's as good as dead. She goes "down the road" tomorrow morning.
The calf got hauled off to wherever it is that they take the dead babies. I don't know and I don't wanna know.
Larry went into the parlor to help milk the "hospital cows"- those are the ones who are being treated for some kinda medical problem or who are "fresh", meaning they just had a baby.
Eric went into the house to get a shower before returning to work.
Jeff the Jerkoff and Nathan went back to the shop to work.
I came inside for a cuppa coffee, a cigarette and to regroup. What I did was fall apart.
I got the coffee, lit a cigarette and pretty much just dropped to my knees in the middle of the kitchen floor and bawled.
(And yeah, I did eventually get my ass back in gear and went and bedded the babies...)
I just felt so goddamned bad for that cow and that baby.
And Larry and Eric.
They tried so hard to save her... Sometimes, I hate this shit.
I hate it that, once a cow does deliver, her baby is taken away almost immediately to be innoculated and bottle fed.
I hate it even more that, once a cow's milk weight drops to a certain level, or they can't be gotten pregnant anymore, they are sent off to be killed and turned into Alpo or some fuckin' thing.
There oughta be a "retired cow farm" somewhere.
Some place they can go to live out their days in peace, after all they give for those five or six years it takes to wring 'em out like washcloths. But, I think the worst worst thing is when a cow births a dead baby and is okay herself, except that, after all that hell she just went through, she doesn't even have a baby to lick off and care for for a while.
That breaks my heart every damned time. I don't know if I'm envious of the guys in their ability to accept it and go on to other jobs, or scared of how hard their hearts must be to be able to just walk away, seemingly unaffected by it all.
But, I suppose they can't afford to let it get to 'em like it does me, or they'd go crazy from grief.
I don't know.
I just don't know. I feel like I've been awake for a year.
I am tired down to my very soul.
My heart still aches for that cow and I'm still washing the clothes Eric and I were wearing. Those I managed to "save".
Eric thought his shirt would have to be tossed out, it was so soaked with... let's just call it "gick".
But, that I was able to save. Peachy-fuckin' keen, huh?
Pft.
Comments
1
Oh, gosh...I didn't realize the babies were taken away so soon, but that just shows the disconnect in modern society between what we buy at the store and where it comes from. Buncha freakin' hypocrites, is what we are, us milk-drinking steak-eaters.
I have seen the grief and confusion of a mother animal whose baby died, just never a cow. Dang. Save the cows! Even for my organic, grass-fed milk, are they taking the babies away? Shoot.
One of my mares had a similar presentation a few years ago...darned if she wasn't walking along grazing, with one little foot sticking out! Just acting like nothing was happening. Me and a friend both got in there up to the shoulder, and COULD NOT FIND the other leg. And that foal wasn't budging. Got the vet out, same deal. The leg was folded way up underneath. Vet and vet's big, strapping husband pulled as hard as they could, after vet informed me, "Belinda, we just have to get it out of there. It may tear this mare up, but I'll do what I can to patch her up after." They did finally get the foal out, did not injure the mare (there was a LOT of swelling), and vet's big strapping hubby stood there crying with all the rest of us! I just hugged that mare's neck for about an hour!
Anyway, what I mean is, I kind of understand, about the part of you that gets invested in the animals, and the empathy and sympathy. Bless you.
I have seen the grief and confusion of a mother animal whose baby died, just never a cow. Dang. Save the cows! Even for my organic, grass-fed milk, are they taking the babies away? Shoot.
One of my mares had a similar presentation a few years ago...darned if she wasn't walking along grazing, with one little foot sticking out! Just acting like nothing was happening. Me and a friend both got in there up to the shoulder, and COULD NOT FIND the other leg. And that foal wasn't budging. Got the vet out, same deal. The leg was folded way up underneath. Vet and vet's big, strapping husband pulled as hard as they could, after vet informed me, "Belinda, we just have to get it out of there. It may tear this mare up, but I'll do what I can to patch her up after." They did finally get the foal out, did not injure the mare (there was a LOT of swelling), and vet's big strapping hubby stood there crying with all the rest of us! I just hugged that mare's neck for about an hour!
Anyway, what I mean is, I kind of understand, about the part of you that gets invested in the animals, and the empathy and sympathy. Bless you.
Posted by: Belinda at January 12, 2006 04:16 PM (6krEN)
2
P.S. Do NOT watch "March of the Penguins" anytime soon!
Posted by: Belinda at January 12, 2006 04:17 PM (6krEN)
3
Damn, girl. It sounds like you're cut out for a differnt line of work. You also brought back some memories for me.
My step mother was much like you in this regard. She used to get upset too but seemed to get used to it after twenty some years.
Calving season is long, tiring work and I feel for you.
My step mother was much like you in this regard. She used to get upset too but seemed to get used to it after twenty some years.
Calving season is long, tiring work and I feel for you.
Posted by: Daniel Medley at January 13, 2006 01:11 PM (8ZbOz)
4
Belinda... yeah, they're all taken away as soon as possible, all the better to get "Mom" producing again. The moms are bucket milked to collect the colostrum, which is then bottle fed to the babies for the first four days.
Doesn't matter if the cows are kept on concrete and fed silage or grass fed.
Actually, except for the concrete part, ours get both silage and grass.
**Dear Christ... Eric just came running in here with his radio for me to "fix". Seems he dropped it, front down of course, into a puddle of cow piss. Gotta love farming, eh? 'Course, the one thing ya can't even insure a Nextel phone against is getting it wet... *siiigh* Time to break out with the hairdryer... AGAIN...**
Dan... I was hoping, after I finished this, that I'd hear from you.
You have a way of explaining how to think about or handle this kinda shit that always gives me the additional strength I need for "next time".
There hasn't been much of anything else about the whole "farming" deal in all the years I've been doing it that hit me as hard as this did.
I can take the labor, the cold, the wet, the heat, the death, the births, the bullshit... all of it.
This was just kinda... extreme. Also, my first up close and personal experience with this situation.
I have to believe I can "get used to it" too, but... I'd also be reeeally happy if it never happened (that badly) to another cow, ya know? *grin*
And (for the record), the cow at least "got to" die in the barn, during the night, as opposed to having to endure a long, scary ride to a rendering plant.
I realize that constitutes a loss of money for somebody somewhere, but screw that.
It's just a tad more "dignified", if that's the correct term, for the cow, in my opinion.
I mean, at least she got to die where she lived, where she gave so much, know what I mean?
Anyway, off to go blowdry a radio... lol.
(Good thing I've already got arrangements made to get new ones tomorrow, hey?)
Doesn't matter if the cows are kept on concrete and fed silage or grass fed.
Actually, except for the concrete part, ours get both silage and grass.
**Dear Christ... Eric just came running in here with his radio for me to "fix". Seems he dropped it, front down of course, into a puddle of cow piss. Gotta love farming, eh? 'Course, the one thing ya can't even insure a Nextel phone against is getting it wet... *siiigh* Time to break out with the hairdryer... AGAIN...**
Dan... I was hoping, after I finished this, that I'd hear from you.
You have a way of explaining how to think about or handle this kinda shit that always gives me the additional strength I need for "next time".
There hasn't been much of anything else about the whole "farming" deal in all the years I've been doing it that hit me as hard as this did.
I can take the labor, the cold, the wet, the heat, the death, the births, the bullshit... all of it.
This was just kinda... extreme. Also, my first up close and personal experience with this situation.
I have to believe I can "get used to it" too, but... I'd also be reeeally happy if it never happened (that badly) to another cow, ya know? *grin*
And (for the record), the cow at least "got to" die in the barn, during the night, as opposed to having to endure a long, scary ride to a rendering plant.
I realize that constitutes a loss of money for somebody somewhere, but screw that.
It's just a tad more "dignified", if that's the correct term, for the cow, in my opinion.
I mean, at least she got to die where she lived, where she gave so much, know what I mean?
Anyway, off to go blowdry a radio... lol.
(Good thing I've already got arrangements made to get new ones tomorrow, hey?)
Posted by: Stevie at January 13, 2006 02:03 PM (Hz3p3)
5
Damn your posts are long. Are you writing a book, Cat
Posted by: Catfish at January 13, 2006 03:27 PM (VVhuu)
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I ought to....
Posted by: Stevie at January 13, 2006 04:03 PM (W5x4V)
7
wow. Im a city girl in Canada who DOESNT live in an igloo and DOESNT travel via dogsled. 
But, I dont know farming.
I thought living in the country would be wonderful... no neighbours to keep you awake at night partying, no cars, no sirens, no drunken fools. Still, this is my dream, to live in the country.
I always thought I would have some animals.. chickens and stuff.. but WOW, i didnt think it far enuf to the slaughtering and birthing processes.
I feel for all of you who have to do it. It MUST be rewarding, but my heart is weak and the strings get pulled SOOO easily. Although, anyone to know me wouldnt think so.. i dont SHOW emotion.. i bottle it until im alone.
I dont think I could get used to it. I would be the child who would be hanging onto daddys leg, making him walk with me and his axe, pleading for him not to do it..
so, excellent work stevie, i admire you for doing such a difficult job. god knows i couldnt..
as a somewhat young mother myself, i would never be able to leave my child at birth. where i live, you give birth in the same room that you stay in until you leave. you keep your baby, it doesnt go to a nursery unless there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you or her..
I wouldnt have it any other way.
those poor cows..
p.s., it's amazing, once you start reading a blog, where you link to! this one linked from another one which was from someone elses.. amazing. I am more of the email type person who searches the net for info, patterns and recipes.. amazing!
But, I dont know farming.
I thought living in the country would be wonderful... no neighbours to keep you awake at night partying, no cars, no sirens, no drunken fools. Still, this is my dream, to live in the country.
I always thought I would have some animals.. chickens and stuff.. but WOW, i didnt think it far enuf to the slaughtering and birthing processes.
I feel for all of you who have to do it. It MUST be rewarding, but my heart is weak and the strings get pulled SOOO easily. Although, anyone to know me wouldnt think so.. i dont SHOW emotion.. i bottle it until im alone.
I dont think I could get used to it. I would be the child who would be hanging onto daddys leg, making him walk with me and his axe, pleading for him not to do it..
so, excellent work stevie, i admire you for doing such a difficult job. god knows i couldnt..
as a somewhat young mother myself, i would never be able to leave my child at birth. where i live, you give birth in the same room that you stay in until you leave. you keep your baby, it doesnt go to a nursery unless there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you or her..
I wouldnt have it any other way.
those poor cows..
p.s., it's amazing, once you start reading a blog, where you link to! this one linked from another one which was from someone elses.. amazing. I am more of the email type person who searches the net for info, patterns and recipes.. amazing!
Posted by: tracy at January 17, 2006 03:22 PM (F0bn5)
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