Okay. No busses, no throwing...
How's about "sliding off the slicker'n-snail-snot back steps and jarring the ever-lovin' HELL out of my left arm AGAIN"?
Hope that's okay, caaaause... I DONE DID IT!!!!!! ow In fact, that happened yesterday. *siiigh*Guess I had too much confidence in my boots.
Fuckin' things weigh about 5 pounds apiece and they've got treads on 'em like a four-wheel drive type tire, but... can I walk on steps like a normal person? Oh HELL no. I hafta do it like one of Jerry's kids. "Step, slip, slide, BOOM, bounce, bounce, bounce... FUCK!!!" I swear, next time I fall down, I ain't gettin' up no mo'. damn it. I'll just skooch around on my ass, like a dog carpet-surfin'.
(But not for the same reason, now...) My God, ya know?
Gettin' kinda tired of this shit. Not to mention how sick I am of having Ibuprofen for breakfast.... After that post that my PMS-infected ovaries did the other day, I went on to work at the horse farm and got an advance so I could get the animal shit I needed.
I explained it all to the Mrs. over there and she gave me more than I asked for. Nice lady. AND... are ya ready for this?
I got into the double-digits in tips last night.
First night I made $4.
Second night made $5.
Last night, I doubled alla that.
Plus $2.
Woo-hoo... *grin* Gotta go in tonight, too.
Hope I can do that again.
Be even better if could double it again. Now, lem'me ask ya's something...
I'm 42 years old. I've never had a kid, never even been pregnant.
The guy I'm gonna die with is neutered.
Now, WHY ON EARTH do I need to go thru this crap every fuckin' month?
Have you ever heard of a less-likely-to-actually-need-this-shit-to-continue
one-more-SECOND kinda person, or WHAT? My hand to GOD, I'd rather have a fu-manchu moustache.
And chest hair. At least I like 'staches and chest hair.
I do NOT like, nor appreciate, nor desire to be saddled with, this female shit one goddamned bit. If my ovaries fell out... I'd stomp on 'em.
I do a Mexican hat dance all over their stupid asses (and probably fall on my ass again...).
I hate my ovaries.
I hate my uterus.
I hate PMS.
I hate everything that has to do with this bullshit process. It is NOT special.
It is NOT wonderful.
It SUCKS.
In fact, it sucks sweaty, diseased donkey balls. If I come back in the next life as a fuckin' female again, I'm gonna strangle myself with my own umbilical cord.
I'd rather be a toilet bowl brush, thanks.
Less shit involved, don'tcha know.
Jeezus. Aaaanyway... no busses. No throwing. Gotcha. (And thank you for making me laugh out loud, BlogDog... Hugs on ya for that.) And, Cat and Faithy... somewhere deeeep inside, under all the hormonal insanity, I know you're right.
I just have to "maintain" for a while.
This CAN be done.
(Just hope it can be done by ME.) *(slightly maniacal) grin* Gotta go get ready for work.
Back later. Peace
Comments
1
Sorry to hear of the hurtin' for certain. But I'm glad you're not in search of public transportation for all the wrong reasons.
And if you're considering reincarnation, I think I'd like to come back as a toilet seat. It is the standard against which all men are measured after all. Even if I do have to take some shit.
Got no words o' wisdom on the internals though. As bad as it is, the hormone thing is there for some reason (I can say things like this because I don't have to deal with it, you see). But there will come a point where it stops plaguing you. And then you get a whole new set of things to worry about.
Ain't life grand?
And if you're considering reincarnation, I think I'd like to come back as a toilet seat. It is the standard against which all men are measured after all. Even if I do have to take some shit.
Got no words o' wisdom on the internals though. As bad as it is, the hormone thing is there for some reason (I can say things like this because I don't have to deal with it, you see). But there will come a point where it stops plaguing you. And then you get a whole new set of things to worry about.
Ain't life grand?
Posted by: BlogDog at December 30, 2005 03:45 PM (UZzRs)
2
Make that money girl. And if you cleaned all of that horseshit off of your boots, they would walk a lot easlier, Cat
Posted by: Catfish at December 30, 2005 09:29 PM (oWr9c)
3
"Step, slip, slide, BOOM, bounce, bounce, bounce... F***!!!"
OK, there's your problem. You really should not be participating in sexual congress while navigating icy steps. I think that last bit is what's throwing you off. ;-)
OK, there's your problem. You really should not be participating in sexual congress while navigating icy steps. I think that last bit is what's throwing you off. ;-)
Posted by: Belinda at December 31, 2005 03:30 AM (M7kiy)
4
Oh
my
God...
I'd answer ya, but I now need to go dry my face, blow my nose and change my PANTS from laughing so hard....
Jeezus, man...
*slithers bonelessly outta chair still laughing*
my
God...
I'd answer ya, but I now need to go dry my face, blow my nose and change my PANTS from laughing so hard....
Jeezus, man...
*slithers bonelessly outta chair still laughing*
Posted by: Stevie at December 31, 2005 11:34 AM (AhPpj)
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