Those stupid 100 things...Part One...

Okay...Only way I'm ever gonna get these done is by startin' 'em, I guess. I'm thinking I'm gonna do them in 4 parts. Depends. If I get going here and can get to 50, good. All the way to 100...maybe. I'm gonna try to cover the esoteric, bizarre shit...not the "I like animals" crap anyone who's ever heard of me knows.
So...here we go.
(Please keep all extremities in the vehicle at all times and do not disengage the safety equipment. You must be THIS tall to ride this ride...Void where prohibited...I know, shut up and do it...)

1. I'm a Taurus.
2. I have GOT to have the house clean before I leave it for any longer than, say, a trip to the grocery store, or something. If I have to go somewhere where I'll be for several hours, the house has to be clean before I leave. I have no idea why.
3. There has been no animal I've experienced yet that I don't think would make a cool pet.
4. Sometimes I get on my own nerves.
5. I no longer remember what it feels like to NOT have a "Oh, what the fuck is next...?" feeling 24/7. Haven't for about....forever. I honestly can't remember when it was I didn't feel this way. I swear, when I think about it, I also picture Wile E. Coyote with his little parasol and the shit coming down.
6. I can find the most twisted, depraved humor in almost any situation...except those involving dead animals. That shit ain't funny.
7. The stupider the joke, the better I like it. Such as: Whadda ya call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick. (rotflmao) Must be why I just 'rolled Madfish Willie. (Note to self: Make that a link...) (Done.)
8. I've had human brain matter in my hands. (I used to be an EMT. I'm not that fucked up that I'da done it just fer shits-n-giggles...Jeez.)
9. I once called a Catholic Church and asked why it's called "Good Friday" when it really wasn't...for Jesus, anyway. They had no good answer. (I wasn't being wiseassed, either. I was honestly curious. Still am.)
10. I've never been in a fist fight in my life because I'm scared that if I do that, I won't stop til someone's dead...or severely injured and what I feel, that rage, is no one person's fault...so, it's not for them to pay for. Buuut, ooh, do some people beg for it...lol.
11. When I'm being a retard, the less YOU laugh, the more I do, til I wind up with people lookin' at me like I'm insane, or something. By then, I'm usually on the floor....
12. I talk to myself. A lot. Sometimes, it's one of the only ways to have a semi-intelligent conversation.
13. When inanimate objects like TV remotes, can openers, VCR's, coffee pots, cell phones and the like give me a bag of shit and don't wanna work right, I'll try everything I know to fix them. If they still won't work and I don't know why, I kill 'em to pieces 'cause at least then I KNOW why they don't work. It usually makes me feel vindicated, if not wholly better.
14. I do not and will never suffer fools or liars gladly. I will, however, gladly smack the hell outta them.
15. My very most favorite thing about me are my cystic ovaries whom kept me from ever getting pregnant. Yay, ovaries! (No, you may NOT 'fix' them...)
16. After them, come my hair, voice, then boobs.
17. I love the Seventies....to the exclusion of all other decades...so far. (Altho, the last 2 and a half years have been pretty cool. I'll know better about the 2000's in 7 and half years. I believe this decade may rival the 70's as my favorite if these last coupla years are any indication...)
18. When I see turtles trying to cross a road, I pull over, dodge traffic and take them across in the direction they were headed. Logger heads, too.
19. I've petted every single dog I've ever met and only been nipped once in my entire life.
20. I was on my local news (WPVI Channel 6 outta Philly) twice...once riding my Appaloosa in a Trail class at the county fair and the second time was riding a mechanical bull at the Civic Center in Philly.
21. I once outrode a Pro Bullrider on a mechanical bull, then turned around and kicked his ass playing pool. To this day, he still calls me "Trouble". Poor ol Richard Keen...
22. I would rather be left alone than be treated like shit. This isn't true for everyone. That's something I'll never understand.
23. Sometimes I think it'd be cool to be the new, female Sam Kinnison. I could do it, too. I already have the duster, the big mouth and the attitude lurks just under the surface...AAAARRRRGGGGG!!!!! See?
24. One of the reasons why I'm mostly just glad my mom is dead is that she moved to Florida with my boyfriend when I was a Senior in High School. (He was 19 or 20 and outta school, not that that makes it any better.) She also screwed two others that I know of. And this is only ONE of the reasons...
25. I hate stupid people. I super-duper hate stupid people driving cars. Instead of worrying so much about the fact that there IS road rage, I firmly believe someone should start looking into and reporting on WHY there's road rage. Ya know?

Okay...I'm getting cross-eyed now. Not to even mention there's enough new shit to keep people here for hours already....

Peace.

Posted by: Stevie at 06:01 AM

Comments

Posted by: eric at February 28, 2004 07:30 PM (riWuj)

Posted by: Light & Dark at March 01, 2004 01:16 AM (Hrm9v)

Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.0048 seconds.
18 queries taking 0.0034 seconds, 10 records returned.
Page size 8 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.