Oh, Dear Gawd...
I just got done being cruelly tormented by watching 'American Idol'.
Now, normally, you couldn't FORCE me to watch this shit and I never intend to do it again, but....I decided to try regular TV instead of one of my movies tonight and I'll be switching back to tapes and staying there. On a good night, you can get, maybe, 5 channels (the little TV isn't 'connected'). Tonight, thanks to the evil shit falling from the sky that I refuse to legitimize by naming, I can get three. The one polluting the airwaves with this dreck, channel 10 which was showing something equally as icky (could barely see what it was) and a Spanish station. Think next time, I may try puzzling that one out. It would be a vast improvement.
Learn it, people. (America in general, I mean.)
I keep hearing "Oh, Simon's mean, Simon is an ass..." No. He's. NOT.
Some, if not ALL, of these contestants blow chunks.
Not ONE of these 'singers' breathes correctly. They all sound like Darth Vader because they've all got their throats all bunged up and stupid trying to sound a way they don't. (Which could be called good, but...) I honestly wonder if any of them even KNOW they have and should be breathing from, their diaphrams. Cause they don't. And, what in the name of All Mighty God is it with the fuckin' off key, multi-note per word SCREECHING that passes for singing these days?
(Holy FREAKIN' SHEE-IT!!! Scrubs is about to be on!!! WOW!!! Where have they been hiding this show? I love Scrubs. Wow. I'm all excited, now...WOW!)
Aaanyway...I'd love an answer to that last question. I blame Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey and that dogass ugly Celine Dion for it. Each one of these bitches and all the other ones who insist on screeching like that sound like dying fire sirens. I'm sorry, but that's not singing. That is NOISE...horrible, off key, talentless screeching.
But, what else would I expect when recording contracts are awarded based more on LOOKS than actual TALENT? Not much. Which, consequently, is exactly what we wind up with. Not much. Okay, now I just saw a commercial for a movie that sounds like a pure ripoff of Stephen King. This movie is called 'The Other Window' or something and is starring Johnny Depp. It's about a writer being pursued by somebody over something he writes. So, it's either a rip off of "The Dark Half" or "Sometimes They Come Back." And, while I'm thinking of it, Stephen also shoulda sued over that movie called "Insomnia", because that's the title of one of the best damned books he wrote and the movie stole the title while having nothing to do with the book. (Well, hell...that sounds like just about every movie ever made from a King book, too, doesn't it?) Siiigh. Okay...one more thing. I detest nearly every reality show they have on, too. Wanna know why?
'Cause from what I've seen, all they are is 'adult high school'...bitchiness, backstabbing, lying, cliques...Sheeesh.
The only two of these I can stand (or may even like on the right day) is Real World and The Osbournes. Say what ya want about Ozzy, but...not around me. I love the Oz man and I don't find it funny in the slightest he almost killed himself with that 4-wheeler. Matter of fact, I think it was cool that he was doing that to begin with. You go, Ozzy! He's a good man, Ozzy is. He's funny, TALENTED, adorable, sweet, incoherant and...Ozzy. He's Ozzy. Let's see you pinheads who want to laugh at him do even half the shit he's done and survive it, let alone thrive off it.
My cat Ozzy wants me to tell all you un-believers to purr off, too.
Who else's picture (from the early 80's when he was fuckin' GORGEOUS) could ya hang next to a picture of Jesus and have it look so damn good?
Lemme guess...that vapid nancy-boy Ryan Seacrest? I don't think so, Tim. What's he supposed to be anyhow? A bargin-bin, ugly Kato Kaelin? Jesus.
Just leave the Old Man alone. Ozzy kicks ass. Always has, always will.
As for Real World...I used to love it. They kinda lost me after (during, really) Vegas. Trishell was, and remains, just disgusting and the rest of that cast was kinda fucked in the head, too. But, previous seasons were pretty good.
I still think of Pedro and Jon Brennan has a web site. Puck is...fuckin' fried, Judd was cute and I hope that chick he married (what is her name? I keep thinking "Janet", but she was Seattle...damn) anyway, I hope she settled down a bit with the horrible shit she was doing to her hair. That Miami group was funny, too, although I'd have drowned Flora in the pool. I also wanted, really badly, to throw that little Joe guy over my shoulder and run off with him. He was sooo cute. Dominic was another hottie...but he was in San Francisco.
Whatever...lol. I need to get off this, before I list every cast member I've ever seen.
I do need to say one other thing, though...that Beth chick and that David asshole shoulda been rejected for the show. There was a huge debate raging for a while about which one of them was the bigger buttwad. Well, folks...it was a tie. Annnnd...just outta curiousity...could Tyra Banks or whomever it is hosting this utter tripe about modeling have hair any faker? I loooove long hair, but yer supposed to GROW it, not BUY it and have it glued on, ya know? Jeez...ain't I in a mood tonight...lol. And, I'm not even mad about anything. Just thoroughly disgusted by what is passing for 'entertainment' these days. And, the fact ya have to PAY to see this crap is...beyond stupid. Okay...now here comes something called One on One...looks good, so far, except I hope Will Smith is gettin' royalties from this shows opening because they totally ripped it offa Fresh Prince. The only thing missing was a nutjob spray painting his armpits, like Will did, which was funny as hell. Well, this is lovely. I start out talking about American Idol and wind up discussing armpits. Talk about staying 'on-topic'...lol. (My GAWD....what happened to Scott Bakula? He used to be cute! Looks like a fat Richard Dean Anderson, now...unless that was RDA and HE looks like a beatup, old Scott. I can't tell. Either way, it's unsettling.) All righty then...guess I'll wrap this up. I need to decide if this guy 'Dwayne' is a fat version of the security guard from Drew Carey's show or that guy's fatter, older brother. I'll be ba-aa-aack.
(Bet yer all waitin' with bated breath for that, huh? rotflmao) P.S....One more lil thing...If you want to express the fact that something made you veeery curious...it's PIQUED, not peeked or peaked...PIQUED yer curiosity, kay? Thanks.
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