P.S. My cat is gone...

One of my cats is missing. He's a baby, less than a year old and has breathing problems. I'm fuckin' losin' it, here.
If he's in this house, he's dead, because I don't hear him breathing and you literally can. Especially when he's sleeping. He snores like a man.
He was here last night...or this morning-whatever-when I went to bed. I got up around 10:00 and when I fed the kittens, he wasn't here. When he got out, I do not know.
I've searched the house and under it, the barns, the shop, the parlor, the driveway, the lawns...even the damned dog house.
Can't find him anywhere.
I'm so scared he's gone.
I want my cat back.

Nobody's here, either. I, of course, have to try to deal with this alone. Eric is at some cow meeting and he was supposed to be back at 1:00....well, he ain't.

Naturally.

I just want Snuffles back.
Now.

'Kay, God?
My cat.
Back.
Now.

Ya know...I am trying, here. I'm trying to not just go off. First, even before the rabbit, was the goat. Bad.
Then, the rabbit and the horse, both in about a week. Worse.
Then Jon's shit about the non-existant horse. Worst. (or so I thought...)
Now this.
If I don't find my cat and quit with this 'shit-luck' streak RIGHT NOW....I quit.
Fuck being philosophical.
Fuck rational, too, while yer at it.
I have had EXACTLY ENOUGH of this shit.

I can feel something in me changing, turning...breaking off and dying.
And...ya know what?
Right now...I just don't care.

I may as well become evil.
Being, or trying to be, a good person means shit.
I can see that, now.

No.
I'm not pissed.
I passed pissed hours ago.

With what I feel going on inside of me, depression is gonna seem like skipping through the park.
I want my fucking cat back.
That's all.

Ya know...there really IS a limit as to how much a person can stand.

Posted by: Stevie at 02:53 PM

Comments

1 :-(

Lemme know. Got my fingers crossed.

Posted by: Mad William Flint at February 12, 2004 07:35 PM (jRssG)

2 Good luck in finding your cat. My feline friend and buddy is demanding attention even as I type, so I understand your reaction to your friend being missing.

Much sadness...

I hope things are better VERY SOON for you.

Posted by: Jack at February 12, 2004 08:31 PM (4+Y36)

3 Stevie
We are both too old and experienced to know that anything a stranger like me might say will be of any earth-shattering significance.
I'm just a guy who farts around online with a blog and I happened upon yours and stuck with it.
I do want you to know though that I intend to stick around no matter what. Your blog is so personal I feel like I know you... but again, we both have been through too much to ever believe that written words can convey a person.
I'm here... others are here.. we are listening. You are important to us.
If I can offer nothing else, know I am out here. Accepting and sharing your concern.
I am so sorry for your loss. Words are so fucking useless but its all I have to give you.

Posted by: Larry at February 12, 2004 10:58 PM (ekVAx)

4 Jesus Stevie. Hope you find the kitty. I know what a heart ache it can be waiting for them to show up (and I sincerely hope he does). Bad things usually happen in 3's. I think you've filled the quota. Keep us posted.

Posted by: Kenna at February 13, 2004 12:17 AM (5PcdJ)

5 Darn, my comment got losted.

Anyways, we're all hoping that your kitty makes it home safe and sound. He'll probably be wondering what all the fuss is about.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 13, 2004 12:56 AM (kOqZ6)

6 Thank you all, you guys.
No sign of him yet.
I don't know what da hell is goin' on around here lately, but you all make it easier to handle.
Bless you.

Posted by: Stevie at February 13, 2004 03:36 AM (1Rvfx)

7 I hope your little kitty buddy returns safely. Even as much as a terror as my kitten is, I do love the little shit to death.

Posted by: Dawn at February 13, 2004 08:06 PM (Q0xHi)

8 I hope you found your cat. I truly hope he is fine. If not I am very sorry. My cat, Claudia, just died. I had her for 9 years and I let her out on Tuesday night the 23rd of March 2004 and she was fucking run over. My heart is completely broken. As sad as it may sound she was my sunshine. Claudia RIP.

"The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good."

If God hates cats, I have no God. den_varg


Posted by: den_varg at April 14, 2004 03:40 AM (oE43c)

9 kill yourself. it is the only way

Posted by: hehe at December 29, 2004 06:26 AM (+upzU)

10 my heart aches for you, my cat almost died about a month ago, thank god he made it. i know what it is like when you dont know if your going to see your little friend again. but if he hasnt been gone for long. i suggest you get out and find him, ask the neighbors to keep an eye out for him. You CANNOT just sit here and wait for him. FIND HIM, NOW, get up and go out, do everything in your power to get him back, because the longer you wait, the farther away he will go, its a dangerous world out there for a cat. get out there and find him before its to late.

Posted by: greg at February 15, 2005 01:01 AM (UMkcy)

11 Stevie,
I hope you got your cat back.
I noticed the fact at the top of the page about who God gives money to. Satan is in-charge of the earth, not God.

Posted by: Catherine at March 29, 2005 07:22 PM (MgLkM)






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