Aw, fuck a title...
There IS no fuckin' "title" for how I feel right now.
I can, however, state a few FACTS about how I feel. Nauseous.Tired.
Permanantly heartbroken.
Pissed.
I no longer want a horse. I'm tired of being lied to, used and jerked around, so... fuck it. God fucked me outta Storm and left me hanging with nothing, except a lying sack of maggot-infested monkey shit to deal with, which I do not have the time, patience or inclination to handle anymore, so fuck you JON, fuck you horse-chick he allegedly knows, fuck your horses, fuck his lies, fuck everything and, of course, can't forget to FUCK ME. I am so filled with hate right this minute that it's leaking outta my eyes. God, I can't wait to be dead.
Nobody will ever make me believe it's not the only way to have real peace.
What it is, is the only way to not "have to" rely on people to actually help ya with ANYTHING.
Which, I can't really do anyway, sooooo.... You tell me what's left. *extended silence, broken only by chirping crickets* Yeah.
That's about what I thought. That's about what I've KNOWN since forever. Thanks a load, God.
Like you fuckin' even care... Just thanks. You finally did it, You bastard.
You broke me.
I give.
I quit.
You "won".
Happy? I'd rather spend eternity in Hell than be around You.
You're too cruel and utterly heartless.
You can't fire me.
I quit. C'mon, GOD.
Fuck me and fuck me hard.
Do it completely.
Quit fuckin' around about it.
KILL ME, YOU FUCK!!!!!! Have the balls to do it all at once.
This "by inches" shit is just PUSSY. All my life, people have been trying to turn me, trying to make me into some hardcase bitch, or just break me so they could watch, I guess, and that's fine. It's happened.
My heart has been dying every day since June 9th and, if You can't finish it, I will. All I want, the only goddamned thing I'm asking ANYBODY for is a horse to love, to turn to, to talk to, to ride, to be loved by...
And...
apparently, I'm not worth that.
Hell, I ain't worth SHIT. I've known it all along, anyway, so fine.
Fuck me and fuck You, too.
Storm, buddy....
Why did you have to die on me?Why did you leave me? Don't you know how much you meant to me?
Don't you know how important you were?
Don't you know how much I love you still? Man, about the only thing that's left for me is to want to be buried next to you, but I'd have to be here to see to that myself, so I guess I ought not count on that either, since I can't be two places at once. My heart, the very heart of me, went with you when you died and all that's left is this overweight body, with a shattered heart and less of a coherent mind every day. I tried, Buddy, I really did.
I got another horse, but she ain't you and she's not even trying.
Truthfully, she flat out sucks, and so do those lying pieces of shit I got her from, or may I say it the way it really is... those lying pieces of shit who foisted her off on me when I was the most vulnerable. I've also tried really hard to just keep plugging along, not saying anything much about how bad it really is without you, but, Buddy, I just can't anymore. I'm too tired, too hurt and too bunged up to try anymore. Why did you die?
It shoulda been me.
Seriously. Being without you is a death, anyway. Why, Storm?
Why did you have to go?
You were all I ever wanted in a horse, a friend... everything. There'll never be another you and I don't believe anymore that there'll even be another horse, and I can't handle that. Goddamn, I miss you...
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